据说是要给自己的写作作业开一个楼来着~跪求指导！

byebyehakuUID: 3124349

11.2 独立   还是自己找的题目……


Technology has made children less creative than they were in the past.

I agree that the products of technology to some extent lead to the less creativity of children today. However, while technology might have some disadvantages towards children's creativity, the possibility of the future and the convenient tools brought by technology will no doubt prompt children's creativity, which overshadows the disadvantage part.

The dearest and most immediate victims of the technology's disadvantage are children. When they want to relax, instead of making something to entertain them, they tend to use mobile phones to communicate with friends, play computers, watch televisions, and so forth- which are, after all the equipments technology bring to us. Emerging computer games which are hated by all of parents will no doubt have a profound influence on children's life. Many children are addicted to the games and lost the thought of creating.

With respect of the possibility of the future, the claim that technology will do harm to children's creativity is less convincing. It might seem that technology have satisfied every imagination we have and decline the undeveloped fields for children to create. However, the developed fields are not a barrier of children but a example which show children more possibility of creating. Consider, for instance, the magic stuff made by Steve Jobs. He can make such convenient equipment only because of the emerging of computer. Without this, we will never have a chance to know the magic stuff he made. So, technology actually opens another window for children to create.

The impact of convenient tools brought by technology might turn out to be another advantage as well. Consider, for instance, the emerging of computer. Since computer can complete plenty of tasks for people, it might seem that children nowadays rely on computer too much. However, today is quite different from the old days and the ways people show their creativity have changed as well. Children can use computer as a tool to help them create useful things. Accordingly, technology brings us a lot of convenient tools and children can use them to create more things than before. Consider also, the invention of Internet. On one hand, it might seem that the emerging of Internet allow children to make use of other people's products instead of creating. By the same token, however, internet offers them a broader platform to create. This point is aptly illustrated by the fact that Internet brings children more chances to know other people's products, thus help children learn from other people's thinking which is good for developing their creativity. In addition, fresh news can stimulate children's willing to create new things. Therefore, the technology offers children a better platform for creating.

In sum, even with some disadvantages part that technology might to some extent limit children's creativity; we can never deny the positive parts it offers children to help them develop their creativity better.

GreanLeafUID: 3196165

Itis more important to keep your old friends than it is to make newfriends.
Iagree that people should keep on making new friends in order toenrich their experiences and broaden their horizon. However, whilenew friends will no doubt benefit people, the old friends who knowyou the best and can help you get out of the troubles are the one youshould never forget or discard.#B# _9 b" q& u# X# ?; Q8 m
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Thedearest and most immediate beneficial people get from their newfriends is to adapt to new environment quickly.?youmean “benefit is to adapt to new environment quickly” When people enter anew class without any acquaintance around, new friends can tell themwho is the smartest in this class, who like to bring snakes toclassroom, and so forth, they help people get in the new environmentquickly. Making new friends can reduce the loneliness andnervous?adj.come coming from the newenvironment. You can talk and play games with your new friends justlikeyou do didthe same things with your old ones, thus forget about the lonelinessof coming to a new place. Thereby, theynew friendsdelight your new life and help you get into the new environmentquickly.

With respect to the people who know you the best,however, new friends know you far less than your old friends. Itmight seem that your new friendsknow all the resent things happeningonto you, and allyour thoughtsrecently recentthoughts,accordingly they know moreabout youwhich one of “you more and more” and “more and more about you”is better?.However, getting to know a people not only means to know severalthings which happened ontothem, but also needsa long time tostay with them. It is a long process without any shortcut. Yourold friends youand your old friendsexperienced a lot of things togetherand shared sorrow and happy time togetherwith each other,so that one of you can guess the others’ feeling even without beingtold before. On contrast, because of the relatively short time beingwith you, your new friends usually cannot understand the whole ofyou, thus might often misunderstand your feeling. So, we shouldn’tdiscard our old friends who understand us the best.9h7 t8 F2 ]2 z* d) j" F

Theimpact of helphelpingyou get out of trouble might turn out to be another reason we shouldkeep our old friends. Consider, for instance, when you feel upset,which one will you first turn for help? Since your new friends areright beside you, it might seem that people will first go to newfriends’ place for comfort. However, for most of people, oldfriends who probably know how to comfort them turned out to be theirfirst choice. Consider also, the situation you talk to your newfriends about your trouble. On one hand, it would seem that they willhelp you just as your old friends will do. By the same token,however, as you only know them for a short time, are you sure yournew friends can understand your feeling? Will your trouble has someconflict of interest with new friends while you don’t know?Suspicion such as these(ones)might have influence on your choice and make you choose your oldfriends at last. Iam sorry I get confused in this paragraph, and what is your point? Itseems the first sentence is your point, however the following partcan not very firmly support it. When you explain how old friends getyou out of troubles but new friends can not, you are talking aboutold friends understanding your feelings very well which has beenmentioned in the third paragraph. Why not try a personal example？

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Insum, happy time and less nervous feeling (that)brought by making new friends can only serve (to)people’s daily life. However, although people no doubt need to makenew friends, they should keep in touch with their old friends. Theconclusion is more like the author's opinions than summarizing thewhole essay.

Hi,Byebyehaku, firstly I have to say “Wow, so long”. It is great tohave a lot of thoughts to tell, then have no need to worry about thenumber of words. But your essay can be more precise and well-knit,sometimes a proper example is better than a long explanation.Secondly, the model and structure of the essay are good, especiallyin each paragraph the last sentence  always addresses the point ofthe paragraph.

Allis my personal opinions, if you think some is not right, pleaseforgive me because my English is not good.

GreanLeafUID: 3196165

Sorry for posting the whole essay directly here.
Could you tell me how you upload the essay as a file? I am kind of new here and a lot of things are strange for me. Thanks!!

GreanLeafUID: 3196165

Hi, Byebyehaku, thanks for your revise!

byebyehakuUID: 3124349

11.3  独立……话说这回我是和大家写一样的题目~
本次用时40分钟，额滴神啊……我完蛋了……

Do you prefer to finish a project completely then to another one or do two or several projects at a time?

I agree that do several project at one time can help people change their mind and come up with more creative ideas. However, while the influence of doing several projects at one time will no doubt benefit people, I still believe that the high level of concentration and more effective work which influenced by doing the project one by one benefit me a lot.

The dearest and most immediate benefit people get from doing several project at one time is changing of mind. When people doing one project all the time, sometimes their thought has been locked in a solid pattern so that they feel tired easily which is, after all bored by the unchanged work. Unchanged work may kill people's creativity. Always think about one project in one model will no doubt have an profound on their thinking pattern, which make their unable to come up with more creative idea, thereby do harm to the project and people's creativity.

With respect of concentration, however, the pattern of doing several projects at one time is less beneficial. It might seem that if people do several projects at one time, they can change their mind into other projects in order to get better concentration. However, doing several projects at one time will easily distract people's mind. People will certainly turn to the easier or more interesting one when they are doing their main project. In the end result in the less perfect of the main projects and because people doing the interesting one in scattered short period of time which woven during the main task, they can't do it perfectly as well. On the other hand, if they choose to finish the interesting one first, they might feel lack of motivation when doing the less interesting one. Therefore, doing several projects at one time will actually make people hardly concentrate on the project they are doing at present.

The impact of effective may also be the one that doing project one by one can benefit people more than the one whom doing things together. Consider, for instance, learning two kinds of foreign languages such as English and Japanese. Since they are both foreign languages, it might seem that learn both language at one time can effectively reduce the boring feeling from learning one language at one time. However, the process of adapting to different types of these two languages will cost you a lot more time than you thought which might result in the less effective of learning. Consider also the instance of doing several projects at one time. By the same token, you'll find you spend more time between two types of projects which lead to the less effective work. So, doing several projects at one time is not as effective as it seems to be.

In sum, the influence that doing several projects at one time might seem to be good for people to work effectively. However, when compared with the way of doing projects one by one, the former one is less beneficial, given that the distraction and the less effectiveness it brings to us.

舟随流UID: 3190282

抱歉啊，这几天忙过头了，今天才过来改你的作文。
这是10.31的独立。

xiaoniao123UID: 2541605

又改晚了，不好意思啊！

sd1053774UID: 2749829

好了

byebyehakuUID: 3124349

11.4  独立


Can two people be good friends if one people has more money than the other?

I agree that two people even with big difference in the wealth they own can be good friends. However, while  the different characteristic and the same topic will no doubt help build up friendship between two poor people and rich people, the feeling of appreciation and difference between the education they received can be the one prevent the friendship build up between rich people and poor people.

The dearest and most immediate factor for rich people and poor people to build up friendship is their characteristics. When people find a friend, they usually look for the person who has the similar characteristic as themselves or the people whose characteristic they like - which means, after all they only focus on what kind of people they are. Sharing same hobbies and habits will no doubt help improve the friendship between them. Through talking, people can know each other' characteristic better and become closer to each other, thereby, help rich people and poor people build up friendship.

With respect of appreciation, however, the claim that poor people and rich people can be good friends is less convincing. It might seem that if the poor people stop envy and the rich people avoid showing off, their friendship can be kept for a long time. However, the emotion of envy and showing off is human's nature, and it is very hard to overcome. Even if they try their best in avoiding showing this kind of feeling, and manage to deny this kind of feeling, their feeling can hardly maintain the same with other people's comments around. In the end, result the broken up of their friendship.

The impact of living circumstance might also be a barrier which prevent rich people and poor people' friendship. Consider, for instance, the living condition between rich people and poor people in China. Since most of rich people were born in normal families, it might seem that both kind of person actually have the same living circumstances. However, the difference between the education they have received and the valuation they hold are quite different which can lead to controversial during their talk and preventing them from understanding each other. Consider also the thoughts between their children. By the same token, different education they receive and different people they meet, all of this can lead to the barriers between them understanding each other and the developing of new topics. So, rich people and poor people cannot be good friends mainly because they live in different living circumstances, and they have different thoughts.

In sum, poor people and rich people can become temporary friends for their same hobbies and same characteristics. However, the big differences between their living conditions and the education they receive may lead to the end of their friendship.

byebyehakuUID: 3124349

Tpo8
In the listening passage we clear learn that the professor doesn't agree with the conclusion made by the reading passage that Chevalier's memoir was inaccurate. She think that the memoir was considerable accurate and reliable. She states 3 points in counterpart of the critic points made in the reading passage.

First, one of the critics mentioned in the reading passage is that Chevalier said he had a lot of money while in fact he borrowed money from others. The professor thinks that borrowing money doesn't mean that Chevalier is poor. Chevalier indeed owned properties and spend his money in parties and gambling. While when he needed money, he needed some days to transport his property into money. So Chevalier probably borrowed money to pay others during that transporting time.

Second, the reading passage said that Chevalier can not possibly remember all the details after talked with Voltaire for so many years. But the professor states that Chevalier has a habit that after having meetings with some famous people, Chevalier usually wrote about every detail he could recall at that night. He keeps this habit for years, and reliability can be convinced by some of people he has met with.

Last, the reading passage critics the story of breaking the prison is not true, and believes that some of his power friends helped to bribe him free. While the professor argues that in that prison, a lot of people had much more powerful friends than Chevalier did, but they failed to get the bribe, so Chevalier did not either. Besides, she says, according to a document in the prison, they repaired the ceiling of Chevalier's room as soon as he left. This proves that he must have done the things he wrote in the memoir.

A大队LXDUID: 2588081

11.3的改好了

byebyehakuUID: 3124349

10.5  独立   
再次控制时间失败……我就非要多用10分钟么！！！！！

Do you agree with this statement: it is more enjoyable to have a job, and you work only three days a week with long hours rather than work five days a week with shorter hours


I agree that working only three days a week is indeed quite enjoyable to everyone. However, while the three-day style will no doubt allow people to have more free time and enjoy their personal life better, the less efficient of working and the reducing of payment might be an annoying one bother both office workers and their bosses.

The dearest and most immediate beneficiaries from the three-day style of working are the office workers. When they plan a trip, they never to limit their trip into a two-day trip, they can have a five-day trip and enjoy their holiday better than people who work five days a week. Also, the three-day working can let people get full relax and go to work with hyper passion, thereby, good for both their health and the jobs they do.

With respect of less efficient work, however, the three-day working is less beneficial than the five-day style. It might seem that if people get a better rest during the rest of five days, they can go back to work with high passion and do their job more efficiently. However, according to a survey in America that most of the office workers choose a way of relaxing that might not seem to be good for their health, such as drinking wine. In the end, result in a relatively low level of passion and bad healthy condition. After all, decline their work efficiency. Besides, the long holiday will lead workers' less concentration on their works. Consider, for instance, you are going to travel with your friends during the five-day holiday. It might seem that people will work even harder in order to finish their work in this week, however, for most people they will be distracted by this thought. This incident can be illustrated by the example that the last class before the summer holiday, no students can concentrate on their books. So long day rest will lead to workers' bad healthy conditions and the less efficient of work.

The impact of less payment might be an annoying thing as well. Consider, for instance, the worker who paid by day. Since they have more free time, it might seem that the five-day rest offers them more chance to find another part-time job and raise their incomes. However, in that case, there is no different between the five-days of working. But if they choose to stop working and enjoy their lives during the five-day rest, their income will no doubt decrease and if they go shopping during this five-day, the raise of their outcome will stretch the gap between the income and outcome. So, with the concerning of less payment, people will not fully enjoy their five-day's rest.

In sum, longer holidays will no doubt left people more time in enjoying their lives. However, the less efficient of working and the reducing of income will preventing people from enjoy their five-day's rest.

城堡没公主UID: 3198432

我不会发附件 作文改好了 你和我说下怎么发附件吧。。

Heather890704UID: 3167004

不好意思,改晚了。
11.4号我们是一组的。这个是你的TPO8综合写作~~

城堡没公主UID: 3198432

I agree that working only three days a week is indeed quite enjoyable to everyone. Although the three-day style will allow people to have more free time and enjoy their personal life better, the less efficient of working and the reducing of payment might be an annoying one(one 指代的是什么？) bother both office workers and their bosses.

The dearest and most immediate beneficiaries from the three-day style of working are the office workers. When they plan a trip, they never limit their trip into a two-day trip; they can have a five-day trip and enjoy their holiday better than people who work five days a week. Also, the three-day working can let people get full relax and go to work energetically, thereby, it does good to both their health and their jobs.& g. _8 U: v$ f" d# J% H$ W4 {

With respect of less efficient work, however, the three-day working is less beneficial than the five-day style. It might seem that if people get a better rest during the rest of five days, they can go back to work with high passion and do their job more efficiently. However,(或者According to a suvey in America, most of the office workers) a survey conducted in America(不够具体，可以直接说是某某报纸或者组织) that most of the office workers choose a way of relaxing that might not seem to be good for their health(这句话awkward), such as drinking wine.Therefore, it will cause a relatively low level of passion and bad healthy condition. After all(这是毕竟的意思)Consequently,主语呢？ decline their work efficiency. Besides, the long holiday will lead to workers' less concentration on their works. Consider, for instance, you are going to travel with your friends during the five-day holiday. It might seem that people work even harder in order to finish their work in this week, however, for most people they will be distracted by this thought(Chinglish). This incident can be illustrated by the example that the last class before the summer holiday, no students can concentrate on their books. Such a long day rest will lead to workers' bad healthy conditions and the less efficient of work.

The impact of less payment might be an annoying thing as well. Consider, for instance, the worker who paid by day. Since they have more free time, it might seem that the five-day rest offers them more chance to find a(前面没有提过兼职哪来的another?) part-time job in order to raise their incomes. However, in that case, there is no different between the five-days of working. But if they choose to stop working and enjoying their lives during the five-day rest, their income will no doubt decrease and if they go shopping during this five-day, the raise of their outcome will stretch the gap between the income and outcome. So, concerning to less payment, people will not fully enjoy their five-day's rest.9 H% K) s( M& y2 \7 V$ F1 w/ ^3 O
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In sum, longer holidays will no doubt offer people more time enjoying their lives. However, the less efficient of working and the reducing of income will prevent people from enjoying their five-day's rest.
我用的是修订模式，所以删除的内容直接帖显示不出来。得对照着原文看哈