据说是要给自己的写作作业开一个楼来着~跪求指导！

YukikoUID：3170692

https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1304971-1-1.html
也帮忙改一下吧~谢谢！

奔跑蜗牛UID：2579189

Moving to a new city sounds quite far away from my life for（because ） both of my parents get a stable job and we needn’t to move to any other cities. But to me, I really appreciate the people who have the chance to move to another city and I can’t agree some people’s words that they will lose their old friends for moving to another city.
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Above all, moving to a new city can broaden your horizon and also the topic between you and your friends. For most of our childhood, we spent our time in watching the same streets, met same person, and talk about the same topic. Even though we can know the world through Internet, it’s hardly for us to know the real (这里需要个名词) outside. Moving to a new city can let you get to know a totally new circumstance and have a fresh air. With these feelings filled up with your mind, most of us choose to talk to the old friends. Thus, you increase your acknowledge as well as have a new topic with your old friends.
观点很好，论据需要加强
it is a good chance for you to meet new people and learn to treasure the old friends. Take one of my friends Dick who often argue with me before as an example, he go to work at another city 2 months ago. And one day he send message to me, said he missed the day we spent together so much. I have never expected that he will have such a changing. And owe to the new circumstance our relationship become better than before. From this example we can see, that moving to a new city with all the strangers around, can help people to know how valuable the friendship with old friends.* ]4 L: {) O& Z4 m2 G+ K  \
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In addition, you can communicate with your friends through the Internet. With the development of the Internet, by looking at their FACEBOOK homepages or the news they wrote on TWITTER, we get to know our friends much convenient than before. Beside this, we can choose SKYPE to talk with our old friends face to face. I have to say, with the net camera and the microphone the talking between you and your friends is as same as the way you talk before./ @% x* q  y- _8 u: b, w7 m

# ?) m" f9 n& E& ~7 t5 _0 eIn conclusion, I don’t think there are any disadvantages which can destroy your friendship with your friends by moving to a new city. Besides, you make fresh topic and communicate with your friends much more frequently than before which will definitely enhance your friendship.

byebyehakuUID：3124349

45# Yukiko
谢谢~~改的很细心~！！一些因为限时而没有注意到的语法错误都被改出来了~！！！
中秋快乐~~~

byebyehakuUID：3124349

47# 奔跑蜗牛
谢谢奔跑蜗牛桑的批改~~~我也突然发现自己第二段写的有点短了……话说这是庆中秋作文修改咩？

byebyehakuUID：3124349

9.13 首次综合写作……欢迎批改！！！（TPO10）

The reading meterial mainly taik about the cause of the decilining of the sea otter, the writer of the article hold the view that the most likely reason for the declining is the pollution from the oil rigs and other sources of industral chemical pollution. It is obvious that in the lecture, the professor take the opposite view of the view.firstly, accroding to first reason given by the article, it is because the industrial chemical pollution that water has been greatly polluted. However, as the professor puts it, there is no evidence of finding any deadbodies of the sea otter or the other sea animals. If the chamical industry really pollute the water in the surrounding sea, we must have found their dead bodies. So the only reason for not finding the dead bodies is that the sea otters have been eaten by their fredators.Secondly, the artical said that number of other kinds of animals which live along the coast also appear to be decling.professor says that other animals disapparing is the result of human's huntting, for human not only hunt for one kind of animal but all they need. Last, it is said by the article that some scientists think that the pollution of chamical industry can also explain the uneven pattern of otters' declining. The number of otters declining only around the place where the oil stations are and in the other place, their number stay balance. But the professor says that the oil stations surrounding often do not have any shallow to let the otters hide themselves and that is the main reason that the otter's number has declined, because they have been eaten by their predators.

奔跑蜗牛UID：2579189

49# byebyehaku 版版偶 疯玩了两天 中秋节感冒在家窝着 :mad:

ccgeduUID：3129277

43# byebyehaku
Moving to a new city sounds quite far away from my life for(cause) both of my parents get a(删) stable job(jobs) and we needn’t to(删) move to any other cities(city). But to(for) me, I really appreciate the people who have the chance to move to another city and I can’t agree with some people’s words that they will(would) lose their old friends for moving to another city.. W! k) X! N" ?. w$ h! @8 n

Above all(First of all), moving to a new city can broaden your horizon and also be the topic between you and your friends. For most of our childhood, we spent our time in(删) watching the same streets, met(meeting) the same person, and talk(talking) about the same topic. Even though we can know the world through Internet, it’s hardly(difficult) for us to know the real outside. Moving to a new city can let you get to know a totally new circumstance and have(breathe)fresh air. With these feelings filled up with your mind, most of us choose(like) to talk to the old friends. Thus, you increase your acknowledge(knowledge) as well as(and also) have a new topic with your old friends.4 n; x, `" w2 {6 u. i
* a# N, G2 F  x6 i; O3 J. X& `
Also, it is a good chance for you to meet new people and learn to treasure the old friends. Take one of my friends Dick who often argue(argues) with me before as an example, he go(went) to work at another city 2 months ago. And one day he send(sent) a message to me, said he missed the day(days) when we spent together so much. I have never expected that he will(would) have such a changing(change). And owe(owing) to the new circumstance our relationship become(becomes) better than before. From this example we can see, that moving to a new city with all the strangers around, can help people to(删) know how valuable the friendship with old friends is.
In addition, you can communicate with your friends through the Internet. With the development of the Internet, by looking at their FACEBOOK homepages or the news they wrote on TWITTER, we get to know(get in touch with) our friends much more convenient than before. Besides this, we can choose SKYPE to talk with our old friends face to face. I have to say, with the net camera and the microphone the talking between you and your friends is as(the) same as the way you talk(talked) before.# a8 c2 p- F6 v7 h/ ^& y
" L+ c, y* I% z" G$ {+ ?
In conclusion, I don’t think there are any disadvantages which can destroy your friendship with your friends by moving to a new city. Besides, you make fresh topic and communicate with your friends much more frequently than before which will definitely enhance your friendship.

ccgeduUID：3129277

https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1305689-1-1.html
我们分在同一组，请你也帮我修改下独立作文了~谢谢！

窝头拌咸菜UID：3033645

50# byebyehaku
综合作文改好了~

byebyehakuUID：3124349

52# ccgedu
谢谢 改得非常详细~！！

byebyehakuUID：3124349

54# 窝头拌咸菜
谢谢咸菜桑~~改得非常详细~~建议也很有帮助，话说这是初次综合，小有点不适应哈~~~

heyxUID：2943262

已改完，本人愚见~
It is often not a good thing to move to a new city or a new country because of the lose of old friends?

heyxUID：2943262

ByeBye:（可能是byebye太执念了~总觉得呐~~既然题目上强调的是搬家对于朋友关系的影响，所以写作的时候就应该着重强调搬家其实对于朋友关系没有影响，而不是阐述搬家对自己的好处来着……因为既然要大费周章去搬家，那么新家一定对自己有益处……这一点上欢迎笔记哥讨论~~~）
笔记哥：题目的意思：搬去一个新的城市或一个新的国家不是一件好事，因为会失去老朋友。
我的理解：题目其实是两句话，用because连接。
反对意见：1.搬家是一件好事；2.“原因，失去老朋友”是错误的。
我阅读了好几篇从反面着手写的文章，都是从这两方面入手的~
你觉得呢？

byebyehakuUID：3124349

9.15  独立
这次的题目没有说清楚让我很纠结……

College or University should offer more preparation before they start working

With the development of society, it has become a common phenomenon that more and more students go to Universities or Collages not to get the knowledge they want, but to get the diplomas as guarantees of jobs. So some people said that Universities should offer more practical training or the preparation like that to help them find jobs. However, I hold the opposite view. Universities or Collages have no duty to offer more preparation.

First of all, University or Collage is not an education agency that can guarantee you a job. What do you think University is? This place is for students to get academic knowledge and to calculate their minds, not to training workers in certain fields. If you want to be a practiced worker, then University is not a good choice for you. For example, many young people in China who can not get enough score to enter the Universities or do not want to enter it, tend to go to some education agency to learn practical skills and find their ideal job quickly and effectively. That means, different people have different ways, if you want to choose a way different from the academic way, University is not a place which fit for you.

In addition, offer more preparation means the reducing number of the academic courses on the schedule. And will have bad effect on the quality of education in this University. The time in one semester is quite limit and if University adds more preparation in the schedule, it is obvious that either students’ spare time or the number of academic courses will be reduced. Because what University should do is to balance majority of students’ need and also the need of basic knowledge of the major, that is to learn more academic knowledge. In addition, the comment to University mainly based on the academic achievement, and the occupation of the academic courses will definitely destroy its reputation.

Also, getting more preparation for the job is your own task. You can not blame University for not offer you enough preparation to get a job. If you want to find an ideal job right after your graduation, you should preparation the necessary skills and find chance for practical training by yourself. It is your own life, and you should learn to be responsible for yourself, that’s what the University has taught you before. Just like one of my classmates in University, Zhou, who want to be a programmer after graduation, find projects on the Internet and work for it for free in order to gain more practical skill. If you want to gain the skill you need, then find a place to learn it, never wait for that skill coming for you.

In conclusion, University or Collage have no duty and should not offer more preparation for students, if students want to be practiced workers right after their graduation, I suggest that they should chose other education agency instead.

byebyehakuUID：3124349

58# heyx
嘛~~经过这么一分析，这么写的确可以~~~