Kssandra-5月作文练习

KssandraUID: 2766998

5月份的作文贴，一层一篇，issue和argument都会放在这里~

5月份的计划是，对于比较难的题目，先写提纲，考虑好具体的论点和例子，再写全文。拖延很久了，准备在5月下旬集中开始对付argument...

KssandraUID: 2766998

目录：


3楼： issue 13（提纲）  已互改；已修改过一次

4楼： issue 14（提纲）  和issue16的claim相同

8楼： issue 16（提纲）  已互改；已反馈

20楼：issue 17 （提纲）

23楼：issue 18 （提纲）已反馈；已修改

24楼：issue 19 （提纲）已反馈；已修改

27楼：issue 20 （提纲）和issue15相同；已修改

28楼：issue 21 （提纲）已反馈

33楼：issue 22 （全文）已反馈

34楼：issue 23 （全文）已反馈

35楼：issue 24 （全文）已反馈

37楼：argument 4

40楼：issue 25 （提纲）已反馈

41楼：issue 26 （提纲）已反馈

KssandraUID: 2766998

Issue 13, 这一篇是提纲。

这个题目我感觉是好立论不好展开的类型，所以先写了提纲。自己感觉有点挤牙膏，略弱。。。

KssandraUID: 2766998

Issue 14, 提纲。这个题目的claim和issue 6是一样的，但是写作的要求不一样。翻回去看了一下我之前写的issue 6，观点都跟之前差不多，试图在主题句中更加强调了一下consequence。这一篇应该不打算写全文了。

顺便发现了一个问题，前一阵明明写过的文章，今天再来写提纲发现不记得自己当时写了什么了= =

sokillerUID: 3446082

Kssandra 发表于 2015-5-5 12:55
Issue 13, 这一篇是提纲。

这个题目我感觉是好立论不好展开的类型，所以先写了提纲。自己感觉有点挤牙膏 ...

我看了一下你这个提纲，我感觉，你好像自己跟自己对打上了，pt1:说大学生有广泛的认识有好处，然后在pt2和3里将大学生分为2类反对了pt1，我觉得你还不如pt1留在最后，然后挑战一下自己，因为你在首段已经表示不同意观点了（尽管你的第一句话我没看懂，outsides of but related to the students' field？？？）。

sokillerUID: 3446082

Kssandra 发表于 2015-5-5 12:59
Issue 14, 提纲。这个题目的claim和issue 6是一样的，但是写作的要求不一样。翻回去看了一下我之前写的issu ...

这个题目还真的不是很好写 不过 把学生分为想去大学和不想去大学这个方式挺好的。

KssandraUID: 2766998

sokiller 发表于 2015-5-5 21:17
我看了一下你这个提纲，我感觉，你好像自己跟自己对打上了，pt1:说大学生有广泛的认识有好处，然后在pt2和 ...

非常感谢你的建议~我把提纲修改了一下。

那句话是说，在专业领域之外但是和专业紧密联系的课程 outsides of (students' field) but related to the students' field。

KssandraUID: 2766998

Issue 16 提纲

Some people believe that in order to be effective, political leaders must yield to public opinion and abandon principle for the sake of compromise. Others believe that the most essential quality of an effective leader is the ability to remain consistently committed to particular principles and objectives.

Write a response in which you discuss which view more closely aligns with your own position and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should address both of the views presented.

dingkaUID: 2453299

Hi Kssandra，感谢你之前的点评，正巧我又在你下面发了帖，也来看看你的。纯属个人意见哈。

As political leaders, there are times when the principles and objectives as the leaders and the opinions of the public are not consistent.  For effective leadership, whether the leaders should choose to yield to the public opinion or remain committed to their principles and objectives are(这个are可以不用吧) largely depends on the circumstances. Firstly, the general public may not have the same foresight as the political leaders, and the leaders should insist on their long-term strategy when the public concerns more about the current benefit. Also, often times there are even different opinions among the public, and leaders need to commit to their principles and to do the right things. However, there are still times when the public knows better than the leaders about what the society need, and the leaders should compromise.


To begin with, political leaders are normally especially trained for their job, so the public may not have the same foresight as their leaders, especially when it comes to the long-term development of a nation.
Example: Why we spend all these money to explore the space, when millions of people are starving? Space exploration bring as such and such benefit, which are equally important as public welfare.
（我觉得这个例子不是特别贴切，或者是不是应该指出，在很多民众反对航天工程的情况下，有领导坚持了发展航天的立场，这样才更能支持你的论点？）

Also,  often times the public have different opinions on the same issue, and the one of the most important ability for effective leaders to address the issue will be to consistently committed to particular principles and objectives.
Example 1: People ask for social welfare while middle-class complains about heavy tax. But leaders should insist on the social welfare policies.
Example 2: Many developing counties are faced with the conflict between industry and public health or environmental cost. Industries offer employment and development to the local regions, but also bring along pollution and diseases. Leaders should not allow the development at the cost of the environment and health.
（第二个例子里，领导好像和民众站在一边了。而且没有反映出论点中的人民持有不同的观点这一点哦，或者你的意思是industry和regular people之间的conflicts？）

However, there are indeed times when the public knows better than the leaders about their need and the need for the society as a whole, and this is when the leaders should yield to the public opinion.
Example: Some African and mid-east countries are constantly in wars between the government and rebels/terrorism. The public would prefer peace, and the wars destroy innocent people and their life just like destroying rebels/terrorism. Such leadership is very unsuccessful and not at all effective.
（我觉得prefer peace 并不是know better than leaders的表现吧。。。）

In conclusion, for the sake of effective leadership, whether the leaders should yield to the public opinion or they should commit to their principles and objectives are largely depended on the circumstances. Regarding strategies concerning the long-term development of a country, it is more likely that the leaders make better decisions than the public, who cares more about the current benefit and returns. Also, to address the conflicts with the public opinions, effective leaders need to have consistent principles to ensure the well-being of their people. However, when the public is suffering the leaders will need to listen to the public opinion for the sake of compromise.

这题确实蛮难的，之前没觉得，仔细看了你的提纲才发现我自己想不好该怎么写。回头我也写个这题的提纲！

tesolchinaUID: 2191404

Kssandra 发表于 2015-5-7 13:38
Issue 16 提纲

Some people believe that in order to be effective, political leaders must yield to  ...

没有细看你的英文展开 不过你的反对的思路 和我之前和其他同学讨论的不谋而合
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1790349-1-1.html  

像这种题目非得提出一些题目里没有涉及到的干货才行

一个是民众可能有利益冲突的可能
一个是民众可能对有些问题根本就不懂 比如stem cell research  
总之要有好写的干货  

KssandraUID: 2766998

Kssandra 发表于 2015-5-5 12:52
Issue 15, 这一篇是全文。本来一开始是准备写提纲的，但是写的过程中觉得准备得差不多，就直接写完了全文， ...

是的，达尔文的例子好像是在讲interest。。。那天写完了以后去做别的事情的时候还在想达尔文的这段好像有点问题呢= =

中间第三段，本来是想针对题目说的field，并不是只有某些field才有好挣钱的工作，其实所有field都可以有机会保证温饱的。不知道这样可以说得通吗？

KssandraUID: 2766998

dingka 发表于 2015-5-7 15:36
Hi Kssandra，感谢你之前的点评，正巧我又在你下面发了帖，也来看看你的。纯属个人意见哈。

As politi ...

谢谢你的建议~

嗯嗯，第一个例子就是你说的那个意思~主要是想说坚持发展航空航天之后带来的种种好处。

第二段的第二个例子是备选的，是说对于一个工业项目，有些人支持，因为这些项目可以提供工作机会，发展地方经济；但是有人会反对，因为占用了他们的耕地，污染空气和水源等等原因。不过这个话题感觉很复杂，觉得正反都能说得通，不确定能不能掌握好，所以如果第一个例子能多写几句话，还是尽量避免提第二个好了。。。

第三段是根据沙特阿拉伯和也门反政府武装之间的冲突想到的。。。这一段好像还需要再考虑一下！

KssandraUID: 2766998

tesolchina 发表于 2015-5-7 18:19
没有细看你的英文展开 不过你的反对的思路 和我之前和其他同学讨论的不谋而合
https://bbs.gter.net/thr ...

为了充分发挥抄的精神，写之前专门研究了这个讨论帖~

KssandraUID: 2766998

Issue 17

Formal education tends to restrain our minds and spirits rather than set them free.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

考虑了一阵过后看了一下之前的讨论提纲，之前大家讨论的结果是分为教育的不同阶段，选择同意或者不同意。

我的考虑是分为不同的学科领域：

1 在人文学科领域质疑精神是被鼓励的 - 学生们学习前人对同一问题的不同理论，并且鼓励独立思考不盲从；
2 在社会科学领域自由思考也是被鼓励的 - 尽管社会科学是追求掌握社会现象的规律，但对于规律的解释和应用鼓励创新；
3 在自然科学领域鼓励通过观察得到的现象进行创新 - 虽然在学习的过程中一定程度上是restrain mind，但是在应用的过程中需要set minds free；
4 在工程科学领域独立思考一定是被鼓励的 - 因而产生了许多发明创新；
5 在艺术领域，学院教育的确一定程度上强调“正统”，而各种离经叛道的“野路子”反而独树一帜。

第二种思路，分为不同的历史阶段：

1 在中世纪及更早，教育被教会把持，人们对自然规律的认识也很少，教会的教育的确是restrain people's minds；
2 工业革命以来，人们积累了对自然和社会的客观规律认识，教育的目的转为创新和服务社会，于是由禁锢思想转化为鼓励自由思考；
3 现代社会的教育则是充分鼓励独立思考，批判思维和创新的（可从不同学科范围中各找一例）。

按学科领域分类的话，我的水平容易掌控一些，但是有些段落可能会写出来觉得比较牵强。按照不同的历史阶段分类会非常有说服力，但是话题很大有点难以驾驭。

先准备准备，明天再来写提纲~

tesolchinaUID: 2191404

Kssandra 发表于 2015-5-8 13:21
Issue 17

Formal education tends to restrain our minds and spirits rather than set them free.

你有没有看我博客276楼的思路 感觉这道题分领域不太行得通 因为这里的教育应该是泛指而非专业学科的训练
当然你可以说近代学科的细分是某种restrain   

另外历史阶段的写法需要的干活太多 我觉得有风险  

我在276楼建议的是按教育的不同阶段来讨论 你可以考虑一下