12月14日，1T作文第一期同主题写作。12.17更新 第一期总结

wenyongliuUID: 2109965

jinmingjie1125UID: 2151541

7楼夜婴 (婴)同学的文章:
  个人觉得你的文章小跑题了. 文题要求对两个观点进行选择支持，请仔细审题。婴婴同学选择支持的是“广告能告知新产品“，而在写作时把题扩大到对广告的论述，大家有些觉得会不会不妥？
   另外，婴婴同学给的理由段太多，太杂，思维太散，并且每个理由论述的力度有欠缺，个人认为选择三个左右主要的理由就够了，一定论述彻底！
   结尾段要补遗

euge_013UID: 173003

Originally posted by Stephenine at 2005-12-14 19:50
已经开始了啊 置顶或者建立一个1T活动的入口吧 差点没看到这个帖子

弄好了:)

hotkenUID: 2135671

我也发一篇。个人感觉不是很好，请各位多多指出不足，重在指正，分数倒是其次。
花了大概60mins+吧，字数应该有350。

There is no doubt that advertising has been exerting a great influence on our daily lives.Some people hold the view that advertising encourages us to buy things we really do not need,while others argue that advertisements tell us about new products that improve our lives. Perhaps there is an element of truth in both two opinions.After pondering this question on many occasions,I finally stand behind the latter idea. The reasons can be clearly seen as follows.

First and foremost, not until our economy has been greatly improved, as well as the increase of our fundamental needs, does various advertisements emerge everywhere. Therefore, it can be said that advetising is the symbol of the advance of our society. It cannot be imagined that advertising will gain success in the past when human beings seem to be less productive. In contrast, thanks to the rapid development of our economy, advertising have access to each family,thus obtaining its acknowledgement from people. At the same time, it seems that everything is available to us due to the advent of advetising. For example, compared with going to store for seeking the relevant information of  what we need in the past, nowwe can learn about the products we want more detailed by different means of advertising, such as newspapers,televisions, radios and Internets. As a result, it largely upgrades people's lives, making us living more comfortably.

Furthermore, advertising greatly contributes to people's consuming, which can stimulate the development of economy, hence improving the quality of our lives. Suppose people live in an environment without any advertisement, it is not likely that they can keep up with the changes and innovations, which have brought lots of pleasures in their lives. For instance, nowadays  many people own  their private cars,convenient and practical vehicles that save much of their time every day. In fact, because of the heavy work, it is impossible for them to go to store to learn about some details of cars at first. Instead, people will get around their time seeing advertisements from newspapers, as well as other mediums. Only after they repeatedly seeking various kinds of  information would they decide to buy which car and go to purchase it.

However, there is no denying that advertising has its own disadvantages.Some advertisements indeed are worthless to us and slightly deceiving. Nevertheless, its advantages far outweigh its disadvantages. All in all, we can safely reach the conclusion that advertising is beneficial to us and greatly improve our lives.

[ Last edited by hotken on 2005-12-14 at 23:38 ]

stoneSQUID: 2145827

感觉你的语言挺好的，不过还是有几处明显的语法错误，如第一句中的no，两处occured等等，只是我的理解，要是我说错了，你跟我说一声哈，我也改一下我的错误观念。

将你的分论点和支撑分论点的论证两者分开来看-不错，但是我感觉逻辑上论证不够有说服力，没能说服读者接受你的观点。

my opinion.^_^

stoneSQUID: 2145827

不错哈。能够感觉出模版的影子，应该是学习过T/G的写作吧。几点个人意见：1。第二段的中心句是不是放在第一句比较好，故意这样安排的吗？2。语法错误-agreeableness,the same as,...3。倒数第二段好像没有说清楚你的意思。我的理解是，由于有广告，使得我们能够较便宜的购买杂志等，到处有广告，跟你要说明的这个观点有很大关系吗？我的理解有误？

就这些，总体感觉还是挺好的，+U.

stoneSQUID: 2145827

应该也不是必须两选一吧，不过想你这么写估计难度会加大吧。个人感觉T的作文不要求像G的作文那样论证滴水不漏吧，只要能自圆其说似乎就可以了。

关于你的思路，一点小建议，将2，3合并。整个文章四段。班门弄斧了？哈哈

stoneSQUID: 2145827

评了两位gter的作文，下面是我的作文，希望大家给予宝贵意见。
400words,40mins

If I say that all of us live in the ocean of advertising, there should not be anyone disagree with my viewpoint completely. It is the truth that our circumstances are full of a variety of advertisements, including those of clothing, foods, housing and so forth. People’s attitudes towards advertising are different. Some people blame advertisements for misleading customers, while other people like me believe that advertisements are helpful for us to improve our lives.

Advertising serves as an important source of information on products that people need. Nowadays, one of the most fundamental features of our society is information explosion, which means that the amount of information around us increases exponentially day by day. In other words, no one can master all the information that he or she wants to acquire. It is also true for a person who intends to purchase something, such as cars. There are so many manufacturers and kinds of cars on sale in the market and which one is suitable for us. At this time, most people will first collect abundant information through advertising and narrow down their targets that meet their needs after comparing advantages and disadvantages of different types of cars. If no such comprehensive and specific information is provided to customers by advertising, customers are less likely to buy what they really expect. As long as we think about our daily life, it is evident that how much percentage of information that we need, on earth, comes from advertising.

Advertising, as a means of marketing to propagate new products utilized by merchants, also play an active part to improve people’s living quality. In fact, merchants are not likely to develop products blindly. By contrast, they have made a great number of surveys that give the conclusion: the market of the new product is promising, which is to say that many people has developed need for this kind of product to facilitate their lives. Once such product is put into markets, these persons who already have potential needs will be delighted to purchase it and those who might not have realized their own needs will be reminded. So those people who criticize that advertisements encourage customers to make unnecessary purchase are not cogent.

To conclude, I believe that advertising as an essential source of information and an effective method to improve people’s lives will play a more and more important role in our daily life.

=============
写得不错 不过用时太多
精简一下   5分           -------foolboy

[ Last edited by foolboy007 on 2005-12-15 at 21:51 ]

olive8310UID: 2164907

there should not be anyone disagree with-->noone will  disagree with
circumstances感觉怪怪的 用the atmosphere 会好点么？
it is evident that 用obviously

olive8310UID: 2164907

最后will play前面要不要加 which?超级班门弄斧```大虾们指教批评哈

avexUID: 159089

Originally posted by stoneSQ at 2005-12-15 00:18
If I say that all of us live in the ocean of advertising, there should not be anyone disagree with my viewpoint completely. It is the truth that our circumstances are full of a variety of advertisements, including those of clothing, foods, housing and so forth. People’s attitudes towards advertising are different. Some people blame advertisements for misleading customers, while other people like me believe that advertisements are helpful for us to improve our lives.

先改开头吧
首先第一句有语法错误，然后说法有点八股
第二句the去掉，比较好
第三局去掉people's比较好
misleading用得很好
但是这句后面还是把主题句加上吧

ps:个人意见不要介意，只改了第一段，待续
    欢迎来"互骂"
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... p;page=1#pid2138008

tutuboUID: 207723

315w,50min
第一次写，套用模版，感觉一般，大家猛拍啊

Nowadays, with various dazzling advertisements jumping out at us, some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need, but others hold the point that advertisement tell us about new products that may improve our lives. As far as I am concerned with these two opinions, I agree with the former. My arguments for this point are listed as follows.

The main reason I agree with the former point, however, is that advertising is always put in the way of reducing the price to make the consumers to buy the product they do not need. The advertisement with the information of bring down the price right grab most consumers’ thought of buying cheaper products. These fascinating ads will easily collapse the defensive line of the consumers’ reason to make them open their purse. It is often too late for them to realize that they buy the things which are actually not in need of.

Besides, using the celebrity effect is a frequent means for advertising to encourage the consumer make the fool decision to buy the things unneeded. The ads just wisely take full advantage of the consumer’s adoration for the celebrities to achieve their purpose.

Furthermore, what is also worth noticing fact is that the ads used to add the useless functions to the introduction of the products in order to attract the customers’ eyeballs. The introductions in the ads with the newly added functions often claim that they can improve our lives. In fact these products is not deserved to buy because it is often founded that they are unnecessary according to the practical use.

In a word, maybe the ads can more or less improve our lives, however, given the factors I have just outlined, in most of the time, advertising just want to encourage the consumers to buy the things that they do not need.

hotkenUID: 2135671

斑竹快过来给我们评判阿。。。。

stoneSQUID: 2145827

thanks you for reviewing my composition.

None will disgree with ...--Yes. (I remember it.^_^)
至于用circumstances，我是想表达我们“周围的环境”，刚刚仔细察了一下，似乎是有点不当。 circumstances重在“情况，详情”，因该是比较抽象的环境吧，和我这里想表达的生活环境不太一样。atmosphere重在氛围，似乎也不太合适啊,living enviroment如何？

it is evident that = it is obvious that, right? :)