[YB2] 7月11号作业 by AdelineShen

AdelineShenUID: 2630498

只写了一篇Argument~

The article concludes that the new use of salicylates will continuously decline the number of headaches suffered by the average citizen of Mentia.To justify this conclusion the author cites the following facts:(1)salicylates are members of the same chemical family as aspirin which is used to treat headaches;(2)The rise in the commercial use of salicylates as preservatives in foods has been found to correlate with a steady decline in the average number of headaches reported by participants in a twenty-year study.Close scrutiny of these facts,however,reveals that neither of them lend credible support to the conclusion.

To begin with,the conclusion relies on the premise that salicylates can alleviate the headache.Yet the summary contains no evidence to support this premise.Although the author argues that  salicylates are members of aspirin,it is still unconvincing to claim that they have the same function.

Secondly,as for the twenty-year study that the author cites,the decline in the number of headaches is not necessarily due to the new use for salicylates.It is entirely possible that the decline is caused by other elements such as better environmental conditions,developed medical and so on.Since the article fails to account for this alternative explanation for the decline of headaches,the conclusion based on the decline is unconvincing.

Finally,the author commit a fallacy of hasty generalization.Even assuming that salicylates can alleviate headaches,it does not follow that there will be a continued steady decline in the number of headaches suffered by the average citizen of Mentia.It is highly possible other factors may add to a headache such as sudden pressure increase and life pace acceleration.Besides,the arguer does not provide any solid information concerning whether more salicylates are better even if they can alleviate headaches.Without ruling out these and other possible factors,the author cannot confidently conclude that the number of headaches will be steadily declined.

In sum,the argument is logically flawed and therefore unconvincing as it stand.To strengthen it the author must provide concrete scientific research about the medical function of salicylates.

lossingzoneUID: 2519545

只写了一篇Argument~

The article concludes that the new use of salicylates will continuously decline the number of headaches suffered by the average citizen of Mentia. To justify this conclusion the author cites the following facts:(1)salicylates are members of the same chemical family as aspirin which is used to treat headaches;(2)The rise in the commercial use of salicylates as preservatives in foods has been found to correlate with a steady decline in the average number of headaches reported by participants in a twenty-year study. (这两句话应该写得更简洁些啊)Close scrutiny of these facts, however, reveals that neither of them lend（不确定是否可以这样表达） credible support to the conclusion.

To begin with, the conclusion relies on the premise that salicylates can alleviate the headache. Yet the summary contains no evidence to support this premise（删除）. Although the author argues that  salicylates are members of aspirin（并没说是阿司匹林的一员，而是和阿司匹林同一个家族而已）, it is still unconvincing to claim that they have the same function.

Secondly, as for the twenty-year study that the author cites, the decline in the number of headaches is not necessarily due to the new use for salicylates. It is entirely possible that the decline is caused by other elements such as better environmental conditions, developed medical and so on. Since the article fails to account for this alternative explanation for the decline of headaches, the conclusion based on the decline is unconvincing.

Finally, the author commit(commits) a fallacy of hasty generalization. Even assuming that salicylates can alleviate headaches, it does not follow that there will be a continued steady decline in the number of headaches suffered by the average citizen of Mentia. It is highly possible other factors may add to a headache such as sudden pressure increase and life pace acceleration. Besides, the arguer does not provide any solid information concerning whether more salicylates are better even if they can alleviate headaches. Without ruling out these and other possible factors, the author cannot confidently conclude that the number of headaches will be steadily declined.

In sum, the argument is logically flawed and therefore unconvincing as it stand. To strengthen it the author must provide concrete scientific research about the medical function of salicylates.
语言表达基本不存在问题，若说驳斥点也找到了。但是前面两个驳斥点都只是稍微论述一下，如果你觉得这两个没太多的话说，那你将第三个放在第一位攻击，尽量做到有理有据，像firstly和secondly这两点，我觉得改卷人不会满意。