【DriftKing】总结经验教训，再战托福日志

我是chineseladyUID: 2662783

Some people always complain about the period they live in, because it make them less easily to success than the ancient people->people in ancient time. Nonetheless, I do not agree with this statement, since it is not reasonable. In my opinion, whether it is easy or hard to make a success by people is depends on the situation they meet->are in, if we must compare the folks nowadays with others in the past, I recognize that they have the same opportunity.

I want to concept the meaning of success at the very beginning, that is your dream coming true貌似前后不搭配. If your goal is a normal one and not hard to realize, you have the same opportunity to achieve it with the olden people...people in the past. For example, people who want to get the admission to study in the graduate school in US must have 3.0 of the minimum GPA at first and pass the TOEFL and GRE test... No matter the students in the past or nowadays, they have the same chance to study abroad.例子牵强

However, if the dream is a huge one用词注意 and hard to achieve, we really need to work hard and wait for the chance that god give us. Such as Jim wants to be a hero like MacArthur, his brain is more smarter and he also pays more attention on his soldiers than the American hero, but he can not get the accomplishment like MacArthur, because it is a peace world nowadays, that is to say the god do not give the same opportunity to him 最好不要说宗教, 如果我是老师我不会给你分高, 我就是教徒,没去我空间留意么.People can also to be a great person from a normal one now. Like Markopolos who accuse the crime of Madoff in the economic crisis which is the chance god gives him has to be the hero of United States in the economic area. That is to say, good plan and hard work can not bring us good result, but a certain social environment is the most important so we also have the same opportunity to success as ancient people.

After all, we can not...???cannot 后面没了么 the most important factor which influence people to accomplish their goal is not the period lived in. No matter people in the past or nowadays they have the same opportunities to make their dream come true. 意思还好吧,有语法错误而且是小的语法也不注意下. 例子再看看编辑

starter_123UID: 2576008

DriftKing
加油哈

你这么努力。。一定会考上100+的

LRXSSUID: 2695903

TPO9 integrated writing+ N5 G, F. @2 z) _  g" r& N
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The reading section says that the Fuel-cell engines have some advantages over internal-combustion and would replace them, but the professor does not agree with this idea.: z3 r  V. a" m

First, the lecturer says it is difficult to utilize this technology. For people must produce pure liquid state at first, and save it in a very cold atmosphere. It is very hard to fulfill. so the idea of the writer that fuel-cell engines utilize easily is wrong.

Secondly, the teacher recognizes that the fuel-cell can not solve the pollution problems.It is correctly correct that fuel-cell's byproduct--water--have litte bad effect on the environment. However, the program to produce fuel-cell will harm the nature because it needs to consume oil and coal.

Finally, it is ecomical to use fuel-cell engine is not right  我觉得有问题  可以说 economically speaking Because the teacher says it is really expensive to manufacture the fuel-cell engine. Such as the mental is really expensive which is necessary to produce it.. Because the teacher says it is really expensive to manufacture the fuel-cell engine. Such as the mental is really expensive which is necessary to produce it.
这段内容不是很充分  材料是很稀少 然后很难制造  都可以写出来的


感觉你的字数少了  内容就不是很多  尽量多写点吧  语法倒问题不大  加油！

lupiscesUID: 2231942

不好意思 我才看到你在我帖子下面的留言
我觉得你没跑题啊

至于第二段
I want to concept the meaning of success at the very beginning, that is your dream coming true. If your goal is a normal one and not hard to realize, you have the same opportunity to achieve it with the olden people. For example, people who want to get the admission to study in the graduate school in US must have 3.0 of the minimum GPA at first and pass the TOEFL and GRE test... No matter the students in the past or nowadays, they have the same chance to study abroad. & D! U4 G" v, |  H; i' p% l( l
你是想说现在的人和过去比，成功的几率是一样的对吗？可是出国的机会相同也不能说明成功的机会相同，而且都要考试也不一定代表机会是一样的（其实我觉得可能是不一样的）。感觉有点牵强。但是也可能是我想多了。。。

DriftKingUID: 2664045

years from now, people will have more leisure time

As the development of the science and technology, people can finish their work more and more convenient than ever before, so may be someone will have the idea that people will have more leisure time than ever before. But I do not think so.

It is true that the technology make our life more convenient which can save a lot of time for us. The creation of computer and Internet have apparently elevate our efficient to work or study. Such as we can find any information we want through type the key word in the Google engine; we can manage a whole company by using a software... It seems that we can finish our job more easily and have more time to enjoy ourselves.

However, this is an subjective idea, not reasonable. The promotion not only bring us convenience but also a lot of jobs, which are more prominent. Take computer as an example, we should produce a lot of software to make it could using more easily; we also need a lot of engineers to promote the hardware which can accelerate it's speed; the email could also help us receiving the letter people sent us immediately... So much work we should do for the new invention, people would hardly have more time years from now.

What is more, the boss can not give us more spare time than before. Even though we have make a lot of profit for the company, but most of the business can not satisfy the accomplishment they have. They want more money and higher fame all the time. They will try their best to lengthen the work time. Such as increase a little salary, add some welfare for their employees, or even use the ouster for threat. People can hardly have more leisure time in the future.

It is unreasonable to say "years from now, people will have more leisure time". However, we have more and more work to do, and have less spare time in the future.

DriftKingUID: 2664045

conversely
plausible
explicitly
readily
guilty
set out
tragically
inspiraton
incredible
conspicuous
counselor
on my own= by myself
stay up 熬夜
case 事
begin with从。。。开始
immeasurably 【副词】无限的，无边际的, greatly
genuine, ture
disqualify
accommodate, adapt
anxious adj. 忧虑的, 渴望的, 热心的，注意后两个意思
apparently, obviously
headache n. 头痛; 令人头痛之事(麻烦事。。)
straighten v. 弄直, 整顿, 【使正确】; 直起来, 好转, 【改正】
privilege
come to 有总计之意
fine n. 罚金 v.处以罚金，使纯，使细小
alternative 二选一的选择， choice
responsible to
flattery will get you nowhere

spyUID: 2295035

As the development of the science and technology, people can finish their work more and more convenient（conveniently） than ever before, so may be someone will have the idea that people will have more leisure time than ever before. But I do not think so.

It is true that the technology make our life more convenient which can save a lot of time for us. The creation of computer and Internet have apparently elevate our efficient（efficiency） to work or study. Such as we can find any information we want through type the key word in the Google engine; we can manage a whole company by using a software... It seems that we can finish our job more easily and have more time to enjoy ourselves.

However, this is an subjective idea, not reasonable.（这句描述不清） The promotion not only bring us convenience but also a lot of jobs, which are more prominent. Take computer as an example, we should produce a lot of software to make it could using more easily; we also need a lot of engineers to promote the hardware which can accelerate it's speed; the email could also help us receiving the letter people sent us immediately... So much work we should do for the new invention, people would hardly have more time years from now.

What is more, the boss can not give us more spare time than before. Even though we have make a lot of profit for the company, but most of the business can not satisfy the accomplishment they have. They want more money and higher fame all the time. They will try their best to lengthen the work time. Such as increase a little salary, add some welfare for their employees, or even use the ouster for threat. People can hardly have more leisure time in the future.

It is unreasonable to say "years from now, people will have more leisure time". However（这里没有转折的意思）, we have more and more work to do, and have less spare time in the future.

句式的使用有一些语法问题，第四段写的不太好，more benefit和add salary有可能是矛盾的，逻辑上较交代的不是很清楚。

joyceliuUID: 2477232

As the development of the science and technology, people can finishtheir work more and more convenient than ever before, so may be someonewill have the idea that people will have more leisure time than everbefore. But I do not think so.

It is truethat the technology makes our life more convenient which can save a lotof time for us. The creation(invention) of computer and Internet have apparentlyelevate(elevated) our efficient(efficiency) to work or study. Such as(for example) we can find anyinformation we want through type(typing) the key word in the Google engine; wecan manage a whole company by using a software... It seems that we canfinish our job more easily and have more time to enjoy ourselves.
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However, this is an subjective idea, not reasonable. The promotion(advances in technology) notonly bring us convenience but also a lot of jobs, which are moreprominent. Take computer as an example, we should(have to ) produce a lot ofsoftware to make it could using more easily(make it easier to be used) ; we also need a lot ofengineers to promote the hardware which can accelerate it's speed; theemail could also help us receiving the letter people sent usimmediately( there are so many letters in our email-boxes waiting to be read every day) ... So much work we should do for the new invention, peoplewould hardly have more time years from now. * w, `/ f. N& [% L8 G2 K

Whatis more, the boss can not give us more spare time than before. Eventhough we have make a lot of profit for the company, but most of thebusiness can not satisfy with the accomplishment they have. They want moremoney and higher fame all the time. They will try their best tolengthen the work time. Such as increase a little salary, add somewelfare for their employees, or even use the ouster for threat. Peoplecan hardly have more leisure time in the future. " B" J/ c; m  N+ `6 Y

It isunreasonable to say "years from now, people will have more leisuretime". However, we have more and more work to do, and have less sparetime in the future.

joyceliuUID: 2477232

例子举得很到位啊，学习。不过中间好多语法，用词错误，注意改正

DriftKingUID: 2664045

10.22 The parents do not understand their children as well today as parents understood their children 50 years ago

Obviously, parents always do not understand their children more or less not only in the past but also in nowadays. This is really because they, comparing to us, live in different period at the same age. At the very beginning, the misunderstand may occur in the physical area. As the development of science and technology, our life have changed a lot, the modern devices are really make our life more convenience than ever before. If we want to find some useful information to do our homework, the fastest way is refer to the Internet. All we need to do is type the key word into the Google search engine, which can find any thing we want; what is more, if we want to but a cloth, we can also find the right style on the Web, pay for it, then wait it for two or three days at home. However, most of our parents do not understood these actions. They recognize that the information on the Internet is always incorrect, so people should not use it for researching, equally, we can not believe the people on the Internet, so it is risk to buy something on it.

Furthermore, they do not comprehend us in the spirit area also. For example, some students may assemble together to do their homework which contain boys and girls, because it is a good way to cultivate cooperation which is useful in the future. However, some parents could hardly understand this common phenomenon. Because in the past, school have been divided into two kinds by sex, so it is difficult for boys to study with girls even they compose into a team by their aspiration.

However, we can also live with our parents happily. Because most of these misunderstand can not influence our relationship. Our parents are also try to adapt in the developing society, and we could also talk with each other to pursue to the comprehension.

At last, I think even though we are happily to live with our parents, but they really do not understand us as well today as parents understood their children 50 years ago in some aspects.

DriftKingUID: 2664045

好囧的题目啊

HYPS2011UID: 2618437

Obviously, parents always do not understand their children more or less not only in the past but also in nowadays. This is really because they, comparing to us, live in different periods at the same age. At the very beginning, the misunderstanding may occur in the physical area. As the development of science and technology, our life have changed a lot, the modern devices are really make (语法)our life more convenience （名词哦）than ever before. If we want to find some useful information to do our homework, the fastest way is refer(is to ) to the Internet. All we need to do is type(同样的问题) the key word into the Google search engine, which can find any thing we want; what is more, if we want to but （单词错误）a cloth（表布料讲）, we can also find the right style on the Web, pay for it, then wait it for two or three days at home.(前面的叙述太多了) However, most of our parents do not understood（understand） these actions(可以说unfamiliar with on-line shopping ). They recognize that the information on the Internet is always incorrect, so people should not use it for researching, equally, we can not believe the people on the Internet, so it is risk to buy something on it.
Furthermore, they likewise(替换also ,而且also 不用在句末) do not comprehend us in the spirit area also . For example, some students may assemble together to do their homework which contain （作业包括 boys and girls 吗？ Some students prefer to group study which includes both girls and boys） boys and girls, because it is a good way to cultivate cooperation which is useful in the future. However, some parents could hardly understand this common phenomenon. Because in the past, school have been divided into two kinds by sex, so it is difficult (impossible)for boys to study with girls even they compose into a team by their aspiration
不过这个论点 我认为有点极端了。 . )

However, we can also（你用了also,那么前面的 句子内容在那儿？这是这段的开头阿） live with our parents happily. Because most of these misunderstand （misunderstanding ）can not influence our relationship. Our parents are also try(语法) to adapt in the developing society, and we could also talk with each other to pursue to the comprehension.

At last, I think even though we are happily to live with our parents, but they really do not understand us as well today as parents understood their children 50 years ago in some aspects
1.be +v 这个结构有问题，所以下次作文的时候 一定要避免类似错误
2.论点方面第一个 无关紧要的话 说得比较多。
3你很喜欢用also,下次争取换了。
加油！

sunliang3361UID: 2502234

10.22 The parents do not understand their children as well today as parents understood their children 50 years ago
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Obviously, parents always do not understand their children more or less not only in the past but also in nowadays（改成in the present）. This is really because they, comparing to us, live in different period at the same age（好像有点矛盾）. At the very beginning, the misunderstand（misunderstanding） may occur in the physical(这个词不恰当) area. As the development of science and technology, our life have（has） changed a lot, the modern devices(改成science and technologies会不会好些) are really make our life more convenience than ever before. If we want to find some useful information to do our homework, the fastest way is refer to the Internet. All we need to do is （to） type the key word into the Google search engine, which can find any thing we want; what is more, if we want to but a cloth, we can also find the right style on the Web( internet), pay for it, then( get it by waiting) it for two or three days at home. However, most of our parents do not understood (understand) these actions. They recognize that the information on the Internet is always incorrect (or undepensable ), so people should not use it for researching, equally, we can not believe the people on the Internet, so it is risk to buy something on it. : }" |  C7 y& _+ c' D' s
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Furthermore, they do not comprehend (还是用understand好)us in the spirit area also. For example, some students may assemble together to do their homework which contain boys and girls（定语从句有问题which指什么））, because it is a good way to cultivate （the ability of） cooperation which is useful in the future. However, some parents could hardly understand this common phenomenon (common sense?). Because in the past, school have been divided into two kinds by sex, so it is difficult for boys to study with girls even they compose into a team by their aspiration.
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1 Q1 V( P( F9 h* PHowever, we can also live with our parents happily. Because most of these misunderstand can not influence our relationship. Our parents are also try to adapt in the developing society, and we could also talk with each other to pursue to the comprehension.
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3 a8 M* y3 J  S5 _& `7 z. UAt last, I think even though we are happily to live with our parents, but they really do not understand us as well today as parents understood their children 50 years ago in some aspects.

呵呵
先整体看了下你的文章，我觉得首先你可以把段落安排好些，感觉你越写就越写不下去了，后面的段落好少，结尾不够有力。文章的句子还是不错的，你会尝试用些新词。首先how parents do not understand us is not explained in detail.

DriftKingUID: 2664045

exclusively adv.  专门地; 独占地; 专有地; 排外地
swipe card 打卡
receipt 收据
I think, I suppose
withdraw
explicit
silvia saint
outcrop, emerge
tutor
tributary
occasionally
trick
inspiration
homage
homage  [hom·age || 'hɑmɪdʒ /'hɒm-] n.  尊崇, 效忠, 尊敬
masterpiece  
Follower employee subordinate

kathryn慕云UID: 2638683

DK妞，加油。。。姐姐我支持你！！！