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发表于 2010-5-14 13:52:10 |只看该作者
第十三次作业 ISSUE 153
耗时一个小时10分钟 加最开始浪费时间和最后的修改
但是真的写的好烂~
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“True science teaches, above all, to doubt and be ignorant.”
de  Unamuno, a Spanish philosopher, has told us the right attitude toward science and education XX years ago. However, synthesizing the old saying that “overdone is worse than undone”, bringing a certain skepticism, which has based on the science and axiom, to whatever we have studied is the essential way of learning.


First and foremost, for students, questioning what they are taught has an irreplaceable advantage compared to accepting it passively. During the process of questioning, the mode of studying have turn to an student-oriented way instead of a teacher-oriented one, which makes students more involved, more active, and more effective. Moreover, it can make the learning process as an enjoyment. I do have experienced such an unutterable pleasure.
When I was in my high school, I was good at biology, just for the reason that I have once found a mistake in my exercise book. I still remember it was a problem about the Mendel's law of inheritance. The answer of that problem was wrong, maybe due to the literal error. What’s more, the error had make that problem more difficult that it should was. However, I found this mistake and figure it out on my own, and then I went to my biology teacher’s office, told him about it.
Lucky for me, for having met such a good teacher, because he was so happy about that and praised me with great joy.(
我真不知道怎么改~) And he also spend at least half hour on analyzing that problem in class, encouraged all my classmates to bring a skeptical heart to what we learn. From that time, I became more interested in biology, and I keep getting nearly full mark in biology test, even when I was having my college entrance exam.

Besides, students’ doubtful attitude of knowledge can also benefit teachers, and even the whole society, a lot. Being as a teacher, he may feel tired of, or even sick of what he has taught, for he had already repeated them over thousand times. Such a negative attitude will stop him from questioning about what he has taught, and can make him mechanical about new knowledge. But if his students keep asking questions about his teaching and the things he had taught, he will definitely get a force to rethink them, improve them, and rivise them. In addition, numerous masterworks are being discovered or invented by prodigious scientists who were boldly enough to question what they have learned. For instance, Einstein
produced special relativity, one of his four path-breaking papers,
on the skepticism of Newton’s classical mechanics, and by the same token,
Nicolaus Copernicus’s discovering the heliocentric theory can be seemed as a great challenge of religion.


However, it is not sensible for us to suspect everything we learned without any basis. Too much skepticism may make us cynical persons, which is not what we are willing to see. In a word, give me the skepticism and the based knowledge, I can change the world.

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发表于 2010-5-14 14:39:04 |只看该作者
本帖最后由 elevenkar 于 2010-5-14 17:40 编辑


连着写两篇issue加上昨晚睡了4小时 头晕乎乎的~
issue43 by eleven
2010-5-14 11:08~11:58:26   538 words

"To be an effective leader, a public official must maintain the highest ethical and moral standards."


The common sense of us tells the reality that ethical and moral standards are very differently from time and places. In ancient china, the numbers of wives of a man are not limited in accord with the ethnical standard, while at the contemporary PRC; a Chinese man is only allowed to maintain marriage with a woman, which means that if a men married two women, he is not only act against the moral rule but also violate the legislation. However, in contemporary society, there are a plenty countries still allow even encourage their male citizenry to marry more than a w
omen. Consider other kinds of cases, sending parents to gerocomium when they are old is an normal action in western countries, while in eastern culture which values breed parents when they are old as an basic obligation may criticized the children as losing moral.

Thus, the standard of ethnic and moral I discuss follow should refer to the specific circumstances that is not a globally common sense. Admittedly, a public official who maintains the noble and majestic moral standard can bring effectiveness to his or her leading career. Mahatma Gandhi, whose life were so perfect that even be regard as a saint is doubtlessly an effective and great leader. Similarly, Lincoln , who is regarded as the most rigid and self-regulating president in America, is also extremely success in effective leading.
Moreover, a guidance’s losing moral do influence his or her work even the well-being of its group. The remarkable modern example is the scandal in Taiwan political area that the ex-president Chenshuibian was revealed to be a phony who illegally collected more than 2 billion dollars tremendously influences the economical status of Taiwan. It has been proved that Chen hampered the well-being of denizens with abusively using power in order to attain his own benefits.


Nevertheless, the author’s assertion is not self-contained as a whole. The royal family of the most prosperous dynasty of china which was internationally acknowledged ---Tang dynasty, suffered a series of ethical concerned scandals. The second monarch of the dynasty married his dead brothers’ wife, the third monarch have a affair with one of his father’s wife of a prince married the womon after his father dead, ridiculously, the fourth monarch plunder his prince’s high-ranked imperial concubine as his queen. those actins are regarded serious violate of moral rule in estern culture. However, such scandals cast shallow shadow on their prominent leading. An even more remarkable modern example was Theodore Roosevelt, who carried on a poorly concealed lifelong love affair with Lucy Rutherford. In spite of such affairs thought out his life, FDR is the only man in the nation’s history elected to four terms in office, architect of both the New Deal and the steps that led the Applied Powers to victory in World War 2. And,the chairman MAO, Martin Luther king, Clinton,and etc, a plenty of excellent guidance encountered moral or ethnic concerned scandal in their life.


From which I have discussed above, it can be safely concluded that a public official maintain the highest ethical and moral standards will help him or her to be an effective leader, however, such element is not a pre-requisite


五十分钟就只写的了这么多了 我很受打击






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发表于 2010-5-14 14:43:23 |只看该作者
153"Students should bring a certain skepticism to whatever they study. They should question what they are taught instead of accepting it passively

As a student in university, it’s probably that he has already formed his own value and critique of the world and other things such as moral, law. Compared with accepting the knowledge passively, the inquisition from skepticism may lead a college student to find and acquire the truth to renew the former theory to a modern life, which benefits human society. I believe skepticism for this one is important so that it should be brought to the study. But whether each student no matter his age and his maturity should bring an attitude of skepticism to everything he studies? In my opinion, the skepticism should actually base on the mature individual value formed by his enough knowledge and critical thinking, a suspect without any reasonable analysis only adds the complex to oneself otherwise.

Admittedly, to keep the skepticism is to keep the innovation. Without Hume’s skepticism to the theories of Kant, the latter one, a noticeable Germany psychologist in the world, couldn’t bring the 3 critiques which have a further influence on the European cultural. Without the skepticism to the domination stemming the productivity by the roman church, the renaissance, a revolution advancing the region reform and the origin of Modern Natural Science, couldn’t come at that time. As a result, skepticism is impetus to innovate human society a better one.

Considering the examples involved above, what causes the skepticism to bring about success is these men’s enough profound thinking through their enough realization of the suspected. A college student receiving elementary education for many years to form his own individual value has the capacity to criticize the things they learn independently indeed. However, for a 3-year-old one, who may be in a kindergarten, do you think he can suspect what he learns without much realization about it and any trains of thinking? Namely, only when we have the enough ability to identify what the objective is, we can suspect whether it’s right or not.

Indeed, to identify the objective bases on the accepting of its rules firstly when one begins to set foot in a new field. Someone may suspect the necessities of it and poses that this behavior may lead to a blind belief on every thing. Nevertheless, accepting is not equal to believing. For example, faced other’s accusing, one may choose to accept it as a response externally but just treat these views as blabbers internally. Similar to this, when a student accepts what he learns firstly, he has the freedom to suspect it and not support it. Considering without the accepting even passive when dabbles in a new realm, one can’t find an object to be doubted, let alone to prove his suspicious. What’s worse, he may discredit the whole world without any reason so that causes a mental illness such as depression, even commit suicide.

In sum, even though skepticism can bring about the innovation, which promotes society to develop further, we can’t abnegate that accepting also do help when as a neophyte. Concerning the students referred in the statement, it can’t accolade all of them to doubt whatever they learn, no matter his age and mutuality. In my opinion, to make the skepticism beneficial for human society, the students should absorb in full knowledge first and then suspect reasonablely.

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发表于 2010-5-14 15:59:41 |只看该作者
本帖最后由 elevenkar 于 2010-5-14 18:03 编辑

To lxk:
The parts with underline is perfect usage I think, and the parts in read may have some defect.
153"Students should bring a certain skepticism to whatever they study. They should question what they are taught instead of accepting it passively
As a student in university, it’s probably that he has already formed his own value and critique of the world and other things such as moral, law. Compared with accepting the knowledge passively, the inquisition from skepticism may lead a college student to find and acquire the truth to renew the former theory toof a modern life, which benefits human society. I believe skepticism for this one you mean this reason?is important so that it should be brought to the study. But whether each student no matter his age and his maturity (whether every students, in spite of its age and maturity) should bring an attitude of skepticism to everything he studies? In my opinion, the skepticism should actually base on the mature individual value formed by his enough knowledge and critical thinking,(.)
a (A) suspect without any reasonable analysis only adds the complex to oneself otherwise.
Admittedly, to keep the skepticism is to keep the innovation.
(What a good viewpoint! It hasn’t occurred to me. Admire you!)Without Hume’s skepticism to the theories of Kant, the latter one, a noticeable Germany psychologist in the world, couldn’t bring the 3 critiques which have a further influence on the European cultural. Without the skepticism(you can try another usage, such as :query, ) to the domination stemming the productivity by the roman church, the renaissance, a revolution advancing the region reform and the origin of Modern Natural Science, couldn’t come at that time. As a result, skepticism is impetus(this is a noun, not allowed using here. ) to innovate human society a better one.( my suggestion: skepticism is the impetus of bettering human society in terms of innovation)
Considering the examples involved above, what causes the skepticism to bring about success is these men’s enough profound thinking through their enough realization of the suspected. A college student receiving elementary education for many years to form his own individual value has the capacity to criticize the things they learn independently indeed. ( to independently criticize the things they learned indeed)However, for a 3-year-old one, who may be in a kindergarten, do you think he can suspect what he learns without much realization about it and any trains of thinking? Namely, only when we have the enough ability to identify what the objective is, we can suspect whether it’s right or not.(outstanding conclusion)

Indeed, to identify the objective bases on the accepting of its rules firstly when one begins to set foot in a new field. Someone may suspect the necessities of it and poses that this behavior may lead to a blind belief on everything. Nevertheless, accepting is not equal to believing. For example, faced other’s accusing, one may choose to accept it as a response externally but just treat these views as blabbers internally. Similar to this, when a student accepts what he learns firstly, he has the freedom to suspect it and not support it. Considering without the accepting even passive when dabbles in a new realm, one can’t find an object to be doubted, let alone to prove his suspicious. What’s worse, he may discredit the whole world without any reason so that causes a mental illness such as depression, even commit suicide.
In sum, even though skepticism can bring about the innovation, which promotes society to develop further, we can’t abnegate that accepting also do help when as a neophyte. Concerning the students referred in the statement, it can’t accolade all of them to doubt whatever they learn, no matter his age and mutuality. In my opinion, to make the skepticism beneficial for human society, the students should absorb in full knowledge first and then suspect reasonablely.

Commentary:
You did a great job on this issue. The most compelling factor of your issue is logic. You first claim that skepticism spurs innovation, and use several short but well-organized illustrations. Then you deeply discuss about the proper condition of suspecting. You hold the opinion that only when a people have a relatively mature value can he properly query the information that he encounter. Then, you gave a concession. You told your reader that the skeptical opinions also have to be underpinned by the acceptation first. I admire the way of “discussing under specified circumstances” in your essay. Next time, maybe I can compose in similar way like you. It is an outstanding essay in deed, language flaw is rarely occurred in your work and advanced words occasionally appear in it.
At last, just one suggestion, more substitution of words to express the same idea occurred in the primitive subject, such as “skepticism” can be substitute like:” query, inquisition, suspect, skeptic, doubt and etc”, will enable your article even better as a whole

                                                                                                                                                                                                                -------yours sincerely Eleven


.

there are some parts of color can't diplay, so adding the document bellow

lxy issue 153.doc

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发表于 2010-5-14 16:41:55 |只看该作者
总的来说这篇文章长句与短剧搭配还是很好的,不像我完全失衡。就是在看到你中间只有两段时感觉十分诧异,是没有时间还是怎么了,为啥只有两段呢?这样会有种不平衡的感觉。在其次,你完全没攻击到研究,这样到底可以不可以呢?无论如何,至少要让它出来露个脸吧。再其次,就是你的让步攻击问题了,这个问题必须要弄清楚,否则会吃大亏的,鉴于我的理解也不是十分透彻,建议你上作文版看看关于让步攻击的技术贴。我一时找不到,所以不好意思啦。用词我们一起加油吧,我也没资格挑别人的用词。具体的,文章中已经标出。over


Grounding on a study which shows that when their spouses are employed in thesame geographic area, both male and female professors of Bronston College arehappier about living in a small town, the chairperson of Pierce University--whichis also located in a small town, deduced that if they offer employment to thespouse of each new faculty member they hire, they will definitely attract moreteachers to work as their faculty especially the most gifted ones. However,with so many flaws, both the chairperson and the president need to think twicebefore they put such a new policy into effect.
【陈述原题,十分不错,已经走出了北美范文的感觉了。你开头那个长句也写的很不错嘛】

First and foremost, for the reasoning that(这个用法我不是特别确定) other converging(这里是什么意思呢?) factors may lead to serve to the expecting effect, a happier mental status of professors doesn’t equaladj. 应该用 equate a higher morale ( the author unfairlyequates A with B). The chairperson gets the assertion on the premisethat when professors feel happier, they will undoubtedly reach an effectivenessand efficiency. However, the studied which he based on have nothing to do withthis perspective, and it also failed to indicate that the working place ofprofessors’ spouses is the main factor which will influence their morale. Ashuman is a species with the most complex and kaleidoscopic emotions in thisworld, we could imagine that there must be several factors as a whole, insteadof single one, which can make a professor to feel encourage(energetic是否更合适呢? Mettlesome )
and be willing to improve itseffectiveness. For instance, working environment, wage level, welfare policymay play a great role in the decision making of those professors. Moreover, thechairperson seems have a big appetite for the most talented teachers. However,he shouldn’t pin his hope on(赞一下) such trifling bait. The most gifted teachers always considered moreelements, and they may ask other requestsentail other things, such as higher wages, better welfare, promotion, and opportunityfor further study.
【感觉你这段说了很多东西,根据你这段的中心句,你在这里说的应该是
精神快乐

高的士气不同。但你在这段中仍旧加入了对于
教师对于工作的选择不一定只受配偶因素影响的攻击,这个是否可以另起一段呢?在这个一段中写两个重要的错误是否有点没有层次感,而且第二个也不能得到很好的攻击】

Besides, the chairperson really need a glance at the school’s budget to makesure whether it is a feasible measure to improve the morale of the entire staffby offer local job for new teachers’ spouses, and pay attention to the sideeffect of such a(这里能加A么?) decision.(作为一个段的开头,这样的攻击是否太过具体了,没有概括性。
你可以说这个方法不一定是最有效或者是可行的)Let’s assume that offering employment to the spouse of each new faculty memberwill surely attract many teachers and can make them effective, but do theyreally worth the price? And what if the university is not rich enough to affordthe cost? Or maybe they will face a tight budget if they enforce such measure? Even if the Pierce University is rich enough to jumpover such concerns, finding local job for professors’ spouses it(笔误?) not as an easy workas they imagined. Let’s exclude the possibilitythat the job competition may be fierce in the small town, just consider thatwill an ECO or a well-known lawyer, who is also the spouse of a targetprofessor, be willing to give up his or her job to work in a small town? Iguess the answer is certainly no. In addition, too much emphasis on newfaculty, which means unfair treatment, may result in an opposite situation toan increased morale of entire stuff. The former teachers may feel ignored andupset thus became less efficient. That not what the chairperson and presidentwant to see.
【感觉你在这段里面可能犯了一个关于让步的错误,我已经用蓝色的标出来了,就是基于自己的假设上让步攻击,这个其实是对于让步的一种误解,作文版上是有关于这方面的帖子的。不过我也不是十分确定】

In sum, watching the argument from the sidelines, I find it ought to be attestedby more convincing evidence. Numerous facts had made it clear that to verifyingan assertion, a strict research is required. Thus the argument would be more favourablefavorable if the chairperson involves more surveys and consideration, whichcan also avoid a unexpected side effect.

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发表于 2010-5-14 16:42:46 |只看该作者
果断掉色。。。。
上附件

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发表于 2010-5-14 22:43:07 |只看该作者
issue153 by eleven 修改by Cynthia I fully advocate that students should hold skeptical attitudes towards what they are taught instead of accepting it passively because such kind of attitudes can enhance the capability of people that ultimately bring well-being to our society as a whole. It is commonly acknowledged that, people’s logic evolve into a new higher leverlevel? at the process of doubting because during the period, people use their brain to contrast and link their ideas with the knowledge they are taught and intent to build their own knowledge system. Since today’s students are tomorrow’s pillars of the community, those people who become more versertileversatile
and advanced-logical under suspecting exercise can eventrally(eventrually) better our society.

Moreover, when a student accept(accepts) information in his or her own initiative though properly suspect at the knowledge, he imply himself or herself not to idol which can cultivate the habit of thinking independently. In the “the aim of education ” which is one of the best-seller(不知这个词可数不?) of educational book in china that influence billions of people since it has occurred in the world, the first chapter describe the most significant meaning of education is to nurture people think independently, by which people can profoundly and clearly identify the world around them. Only when the society areis full of those kind of people can the thrive of it be attained as a consequence that people who are independently thinking won’t be easily provoked or fooled, and innovation is familiar in such kind of society.
Admittedly, from the stand point of a teacher, they have the right to worry about meeting a whole class of students full of query(queries). They may not worry about that his or her dignity is no longer existence; but authentically anxious about the vital behalf of the students themselves. They may concern that if all the students have build a thinking habit that unfriendly query of all the information they encountered, they may devolve into conceited and lacking of safety person(individuals?). With such flawed learning virtue(这个是个褒义词吧?这里是要用贬义词吧。), how can they learn new things and become the pillarpillars of our community? How can the class maintain harmony between its people? How can he(the teacher himself) serve as a role of guidance effectively?

The existence of the teachers’ anxieties is worthy to obtain attention. To give analogy that our society is a big class and the teacher is the political government. When every
denizens(every后面用单数) among the society doubt all the policies, laws, even desitionsdecisions?? of the government, the society cost itself a lot. For instance in the last year, many people in the United States have discredit(discredited) to the president Bush, for the government has carried out the Iraq war by the warrant assumption that it possesses weapons of mass destruction ready for use at any time. The strike and protest raised from all over the country also ruined the social harmony and hamper many people's normal work.
In sum, to teach the students how to question and criticizes(criticize) the issues through dependent thinking is much more important than to make them instantly deny every opinion without giving any consideration. On the one hand, the process of which learning the information about one problem and then drawing their judgments through careful study is much more important for a student than the final conclusion. On the other hand, people should give more consideration on what the students learn through the process of judging rather than enthusiastic about giving commons(comments?) on the final results.(这句话老让我觉得动词是enthusiastic=.=, 改成 enthusiastically giving comments on final results会不会好些?) Furthermore, for most of the students, their questions and critics(貌似是评论家的意思,critical points? or criticism), in most of the cases, does (do)not present their dissatisfaction of the society but they(their) concerning the progress of the society and willing to become one of the persons that contributes the development of it. modern education should strive to help students thinking all the issues and obtain their judgment through their own efforts, and people should also giving more attention on the students(students’) learning process rather than assess the effects of the education by the final judgments made by students.

字数很多,思路也很不错~就是小的语法问题有点多~~单数和复数改的我都有点晕@@
喜欢那个学校对社会的analogy,展开的很好~

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发表于 2010-5-14 23:11:51 |只看该作者
issue153by 梦梦  修改by小珂

Skepticism,broadly defined as an attitude of doubt or a disposition to incredulity either in general or toward a particular object. Here, the function of skepticism is limited in education which directed connected with the process to acquire knowledge.(这句话我没看懂) It may be(因为后面跟的是adj.所以be动词一定得存在哦) still doubtable of the function(rightness,我觉得用在这里更适合哈) of the authority or some proved theory(theories) in the past, but today no matter parents or teachers are both commit(因为前面有are,所以要么这里写出committing,要么去掉are) themselves to bring(bringing,根据题意,你这里的意思应该是决定采取某一行动,所以它的用法是commit oneself to sth,所以要把to跟动名词哦 ) up children’s critical spirits. In contrast, in have(having) critical thoughts about this phenomenon as well.

Holding doubts in mind(学着) about the trend that culturing children’s skepticism to whatever they study, I want to recognize the achievement made by this at first. In the past, Galileo do not accept what taught by teachers and proved that subject(subjects) of different weight have the same speed to fallen. At that time, Aristotle’s theory that have different speeds(我觉得这里这么改一下比较好,Aristotle’s theory about subjects having different speeds) was accepted by most people. This may be a(an) old example to illustrate my point, then (加一个in terms of 做转折词吧)today, the overthrow(这个词先留着,但是我觉得用在这里是不是显得有点过了,根据字典:
When a government or leader is overthrown, they are removed from power by force.不过我暂且想到的就是一个failure,~~(>_<)~~) of the achievement made by Korean scientist Huang Yuxi, although his theory was fake at first, there still need(needs) skepticism to find the scandal in academic without(rather than,我觉得这样的话更通畅一些哈) accept it without any thinking.

Even we admit the function of skepticism, but it still
is not among the main stream spirits. If we do not take any action to the development trend of skepticism, it may over the outline and excessively concerned will produce exactly the opposite result.(这句话没看懂)


If students have certain skepticism to whatever they study, how does the teaching process continue? For example, students
on(at) primary school and teacher taught them that one plus one equals two. Should students doubt and do not(rather than,我觉得这样感觉native一些哈) accept it? If the student raise the hand to question, how does the teacher answer it which is a profound question even connected with Goldbach Conjecture(洋气,哈哈). As to solve this problem which seems easy but hard to explain needs large numbers of basic knowledge. The so-called basic knowledge is bricks which can construct buildings. If we have doubt about whatever we learn,
one the hand,students will not master the essential knowledge efficiently; on the other hand, the basic knowledge is the fundamental of further study or skepticism.
In addition, the assertion that children should question what they are taught instead of accepting it passively is presumptuous.
In fact, does accept knowledge not passively equals to question everything? (观点很好) The goal of some specific class is to impart the knowledge to students and the ultimate aim is to bring up some kind of thinking model(我觉得这里这样改的话前后比较对称哈:to bring up some kind of thinking model ultimately) which is more than just skepticism. For instance, the ability to accept the proved knowledge and to use them flexible is as in the same importance as skepticism. Even we regard skepticism as an irreplaceable thoughts(thought), the standard of it still need(needs) to be fixed or at least not to everything. If we doubt about everything without any standard, the expectation to boost the development of some specific academic field will only laid(lay)
in dream.

After the discussion about the result
about(from) excessively(形容词) use of skepticism, it is easier to realize the core of skepticism is to judge the world or theory more objective(objectively) and walk closer to the truth. In the process of grasp(grasping) the truth, there still exists more(much) other sprits more than just question, and the only focus on skepticism is hard to get the core of truth.


总结:
1.可能是限时的原因,导致梦梦你的作文出现了很多语法和拼写错误哦,下次多多注意O(∩_∩)O
2.有些表达不够清楚,上面已有标示,还有些不是很native
3.但是整篇逻辑还是比较清楚的,且正反两方面都有涉及,再能多找点例子的话就好啦;
限时之路异常辛苦,我们一起加油哦!!!

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发表于 2010-5-15 00:56:09 |只看该作者
本帖最后由 xingfuhbj 于 2010-5-15 07:59 编辑

由于限时导致了诸多比较低级的语法错误,估计有没自查的原因在~由于真的时间有限,不一一改正,有些只标明出来哈~原谅哈~!

Skepticismbroadly defined as an attitude of doubt or a disposition to incredulity either in general or toward a particular object.(开头就甩M-W定义,很好!就是不知道要不要标明引用?) Here, the function of skepticism is limited in(搭配错误) education which directed(词性错误) connected with the process to (误用介词)acquire knowledge. It may still doubtable of the function of the authority or some proved theory in the past, but today no matter parents or teachers(貌似错了,不过不确定~) are both commit themselves to bring up children’s critical spirits. In contrast, in have critical thoughts about this phenomenon as well.(不太清楚怎么转折过来的~)
l
Holding doubts in mind about the trend that culturing children’s skepticism to whatever they study, I want to
recognize the achievement made by this(native不自然) at first. In the past, Galileo do not accept what taught by teachers and proved that subject(s) of different weight have the same speed to fallen(应该还有个介词吧). At that time, Aristotle’s theory that have(直接加逗号隔开) different speeds was accepted by most people(可以换个更native的表达). This may be a old example to illustrate my point, then(转折并不自然) today, the overthrow of the achievement made by Korean scientist Huang Yuxi, although his theory was fake at first, there still need skepticism to find the scandal in academic without accept it without any thinking.(这个例子有点打擦边球,整个结构是乱的,建议改成两个短句~)

Even we admit the function of skepticism,
but(转折词滥用) it still not among the main stream spirits. If we do not take any action to the development
trend(
两个名词连用) of skepticism, it may over the outline
and(
连接词用在这并不合适) excessively concerned will produce exactly the opposite result.

If students have certain skepticism to whatever they study, how does the teaching process continue? For example,
students on primary school and teacher taught them that one plus one equals two.(完全结构混乱) Should students doubt (It) and do not accept it? If the student raise the hand to question, how does the teacher answer it which is profound question(结构) even connected with Goldbach Conjecture. (个人觉得这个例子也不是很好~) As to solve this problem which seems easy but hard to explain needs(梦梦你下次限时留510分钟自查吧,结构错的太恐怖了~) large numbers of basic knowledge. The so-called basic knowledge is bricks which can construct buildings. If we have doubt about whatever we learn, one the hand, students will not master the essential knowledge efficiently; on the other hand, the basic knowledge is the fundamental of further study or skepticism.

In addition, the assertion that children should question what they are taught instead of accepting it passively is
presumptuous(这词有点过了不?). In fact, does accept knowledge not passively(语义表达反了吧~) equals to question everything? The goal of some specific class is to impart the knowledge to students and the ultimate aim is to bring up some kind of thinking model which is more than just skepticism. For instance, the ability to accept the proved knowledge and to use them flexible(词性错误) is in the same importance as skepticism. Even we regard skepticism as an irreplaceable thoughts, the standard of it still need to be fixed or at least not to everything(什么意思?). If we doubt about everything without any standard, the expectation to boost the development of some specific academic field will only laid in dream.

After the discussion
about the result about excessively use of skepticism, it is easier to realize the core of skepticism is to judge(又是搭配不对导致的词性错误) the world or theory more objective and walk closer to the truth. In the process of grasp the truth, there still exist more other sprits more than just question, and the only focus(还是词性错误) on skepticism is hard to get the core of truth.

限时导致的错误太明显了~
1.
结构极度混乱~

For example, students on primary school and teacher taught them that one plus one equals two.
As to solve this problem which seems easy but hard to explain needs
2.
前后搭配不一致导致用语词性错误

and the only focus on
other spirits more than just question
the ability to accept the proved knowledge and to use them flexible
3.
转折词乱用,滥用

This may be a old example to illustrate my point, then(转折并不自然) today, the overthrow of the achievement made by Korean scientist Huang Yuxi
Even we admit the function of skepticism, but(转折词滥用) it still not among the main stream spirits.
4.
基本的拼写错误就不说了~

限时还是蛮暴露问题的~加油哈~

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发表于 2010-5-15 12:28:21 |只看该作者
第十四次作业    ISSUE 43
TIME:1:10    WORDS: 652
今天的感觉还不错~
最开始一直没有查字典,不会写的全空着
最后自查的时候再一起添上的(还是有查字典的)
但是总的感觉还可以~跟平时写差不多了~
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There are many characteristics that distinguish the human from other species and made us the most intelligent creature on this globe. Among which, a higher ethical and moral standard is a special one that shouldn’t be overlooked. Thus, as a public official, who is always the eximious one among its peers and the leader of a certain group, must maintain that quality comparing with common people. However, for the reason that being a leader is a thing more of becoming a generalist than a specialist, he doesn’t have to own the highest ethical and moral standards.

First and foremost, such an ethic is an essential quality for a public official, and will always help to make him an effective and respectable and outstanding leader. More ethics and moralities a leader owns, more respects he will gain. Just take Premier Zhou Enlai as an example, who was be highly spoke of his valuable high morality. When Premier Zhou passed away in 1.8,1976, the whole country was in a deep sorrow. To everyone’s surprise, before the official building of the United Nations, the flags of UN and china had fly at half-mast, and flags of other countries didn’t raised. Such a deed dissatisfied other countries, however, Kurt Waldheim, the Secretary-General of the United Nations of that time went out his office and said some words like followed: I made such a decision for Premier Zhou due to two respects. First, china is a country with a history of five thousand years, countless fortune, and uncountable RMBs, but its Premier Minister, Zhou Enlai, had no savings for himself in the bank. Second, with a population of 10 billion, China have taken up the one fourths of the whole world’s population, but its Premier Minister, Zhou Enlai, had no children. If any of your country’s leaders could do such a thing like Premier Zhou, I’m willing to fly flag at half-mast for him too. After listening to Wladheim’s words, all diplomats were in silence and then start to applaud for Premier Zhou. So through this story, we can easily tell that how a high ethical and moral standard can influence and conquered people’ heart, thus make him an effective leader.

However, as I mentioned before, a leader is not an omnipotent god, so there is no need for a public official to achieve the highest ethical standard to be an eligible and effective leader.
Just think about Bill Clinton, the 42nd president of United States of America from 1993-2001, who was once amid charges of ethics violations—some sexual scandals, and was even impeached for sobstruction of justice. However, such a stain in his morality didn’t hold back his success in leadership--
leaving office with an approval rating at 66%, the highest end of office rating of any president since World War II, Bill Clinton is absolutely an effective leader. (不知道最后一句结构错了米)


Besides, to become an effective leader, other qualities are also fundamental, such as professional skills, foresight, and excellent management and diplomatically ability. Can we accept a public official who is not capable enough to make a speech in front of populace? Could we endure that our leaders are incompetent to answer the question with quips? Or should we bear a leader who can’t well manage the whole country? the answers of these questions reveal the heart sound of common people, that with the absence of other qualities, no matter how higher the ethical standard of a public officials is, he have no hope to become a effective leader.

A common citizen as I am, I will not hold the same perspective with the topic, for the reason that, the people with the highest moral and ethic standard is not a perfect leader who is most effective, but a saint who is living in a remote mountain and far from the public vision.

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发表于 2010-5-15 14:56:24 |只看该作者
修改 YUAN    ARGUMENT169

WORDS: 467
TIME: 00:40:00
DATE: 2010-5-12 15:17:31


Based on the study carried out by Boston College (个人觉得这里要加类似which shows的连接词 the study that…貌似说不通吧?) that professors are happier when their spouses also(在没有给前文的时候直接用also不好哈) works in the same geographic area, the author implies the causal relationship between the employment of(感觉这句总结的不好,要说也是说就业地点) their spouses and their happiness. For that matter, he suggests that the (最好点明是P)university, in order to inspire the morale and attract more teachers, should offer all faculties in the college.(没写完吧?) However, further reflection will reveal that the argument is based on several unjustified causal relationship.(一段出现两次,建议更换)

Firstly, the study conducted by Bronston College, to(to用在这儿没错不?我不知道哈~) say nothing of(是不是可以换为about?) the effectiveness of the study, is little indication that professors’ happiness results from their spouses being employed in the same geographic area. Since there are myriads of factors that may affect one's mental condition, it is entirely possible that some other factors, such (as) climate in that place or salary offered by the university, serve to the professors' happiness. For that matter,(又用一次?) the condition of spouse(s’) employment casts little effect on the mental condition of professors.(即使有其他因素影响也不能直接推出题中因素作用很小吧~) Thus, the author cannot come to his basis(这是正确用法不? 而且两个his连用也不好哈) of his conclusion that the employment condition of professors' spouses is responsible for
professors' mental condition, without ruling out other possible factors.
(这半句话应该提到前面去.)

Secondly, even assuming that causal relationship(第三次) between the professors' working in the same geographic area with their spouses(between后面是接的两个并列的名词形式么?), the author unfairly assumes(前半句有个assume) that professors in Boston College are representative of those in Pierce University. However(这里有转折的意思么?), no evidence is offered to corroborate this pivot(这能称得上pivot?) assumption, in which case difference between professors in different places may weaken the conclusion.(后半句结构不错) For that matter,(第三次…) most professors in Pierce University (may) share the opinion that it is not necessary for heir spouses to work outside, while professors in Boston who are offered a low salary may happy about their spouses' having
jobs. (
我感觉这里对题意的理解出现了偏差.题目的意思应该是教授希望他们的伴侣可以和他们在一个地方工作(非异地)而不是希望他们出去工作以减少经济负担.)
Thus, the scenario(没用错不?), if true, would be reasonable enough to weaken the argument tremendously. (你也使用了这种把副词放后面的形式啊~那我应该是没用错的吧~) Until the author provide compelling evidence that professors in Pierce University are typical of those in Boston College(这样表达出的意思是,P校教授代表了B校教授吧?), I remain doubtful about the conclusion.

Thirdly, the author, even I concede that the result of the study can also be applied to most professors in Pierce University,(觉得这里还不如直接把the author后移~) fails to take other factors which may also be taken into account(表达混乱) while teachers and researchers are hunting jobs. For that matter,(第四次!你太强了!你用的不想吐么~~~) people may value other factors such as health care or salary rather than whether the university provides a job for the(ir) spouses.(我总觉得这里也该是个名词形式的东西才对~) If that is the case, the suggestion may have, if any(这个插入进来感觉很刻意~), little effect on attracting new teachers and researchers, since the salary offered is not so compelling. (由于这是假设,还是用if比较好)Moreover, the author, providing(who provided好些吧?) no comparison, cannot ensure me(不能这么搭的) that the suggestion is the best choice. Since some other measures may also useful, comparison is indispensable, if the author wants to ensure the effectiveness of the suggestion. (怪怪的~) As a result, without considering other factors which can also affect the morale, as well as those which affected job decision, the author cannot confidently conclude that the suggestion is both sufficient and indispensable to achieve the goal effectively.

In sum, the deduction made by the chairperson suffers from the deficiency of ignoring other possible factors which may affect the result, which render the argument, lucid as it is,(感觉不错~!就是不知道到底对不对~) unconvincing and untenable. The author, in order to strengthen his ratiocination, must provide prominent evidence to eliminate factors which hinders his justification.


不知道是不是因为你限时了写作时间太短的原因,感觉这篇文质量不是很高.不过太多长句的情况貌似终于好一些了~不过偶尔有几个长句还是感觉有些些问题.
感觉你的语言表达功力和语法还欠佳.一个词能用四遍估计也只有你了兄弟
1.
语言表达:
连用了四次For that matter, 三次causal relationship 还有一些表意不清等问题你具体看上面吧~.
2.
转折词有些乱用:
the author unfairly assumes(前半句有个assume) that professors in Boston College are representative of those in Pierce University. However(这里有转折的意思么?), no evidence is offered to corroborate this pivot assumption
3.
对题意的理解有偏差。

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发表于 2010-5-15 15:23:06 |只看该作者
TOPIC: ISSUE43 - "To be an effectiveleader, a public official must maintain the highest ethical and moralstandards."
WORDS: 624
TIME: 01:10:00
DATE: 2010-5-12 18:37:53

Does the highest moral and ethic standards,which can make people have a good control of their innate desire, is anecessary quality for a effective leader, defined as a leader who can makegreat contribution to the public? I think the answer is positive. Leader withthe highest ethical and moral standards can make decisions which are beneficialto the society and people in it as well, which does not exclude otherqualities, such as eloquence, which is indispensable for an effective leader.

Official who maintains the highest moralstandards is more likely to put the interests of the whole society before hisown interests, even though selfishness is a innate human character. As diverseideas show up when it comes to different individuals in a society, leader iselected to meet the public need for making decisions wisely and fairly. Thus,to be an effective leader is to required the candidate, even though he can helpconsider his interests first, to be capable of taking all the people's needsinto consideration, which leads to requirement that an effective leader have tocontrol the innate desire to make decisions beneficial for himself or somespecific group. For that matter, having a highest moral and ethic standards canbe helpful to render the leader think the problem fairly. Therefore, a highestmoral and ethic standards is necessary for a effective leader because of itsusefulness when he is faced up to harsh problems.


However, it is not enough for an effectiveleader to merely maintain the highest ethic and moral standards, for he hasvarious kinds of responsibility which entails diverse qualities.


As a leader has to participate in myriadsof diplomatic activities, it is necessary for him to have a general idea ofculture in other countries. Otherwise, inappropriate behaviors are likely tohappen. Consider this case, some countries, such as China, consider it polite to letguest go first while some countries in the mid-east consider it polite to letguest go behind. If the leader knows nothing about the cultural difference, itmay leave a bad impression to leaders from other countries. Moreover, it canalso helpful if a leader know something in the other culture. For instance, Mr.Obama, the president of the USA,used several Chinese saying during his speech, which shows his great politenessto Chinaas well as leaves a good impression. As a result, there is no denying that awide spectrum of knowledge is essential for a effective leader.

Moreover, an effective leader not only hasto be aware of cultural difference but also has to be wise and educated,defined as being acquainted with knowledge across several fields. A socialleader, who deals with social problems which consist of several problems fromdifferent field, has to a clear view of knowledge among the entire spectrum,from science to art. As he has to sign up some files so as to start some socialprojects, it is necessary for him to know a lot. Climate legislation mayrequire him to know something about tax and air-pollution while a health carereform may entail knowledge about medical system. An effective leader cannot makewise decision without having a clear view about the problem. Therefore, morequalities is still needed besides maintaining the highest moral and ethicstandards.

In sum, it is true that having the highestethical and moral standards, which can keep him concentrating on public ratherthan himself, is an indispensable quality for an effective leader while otherqualities, such as a wide range of knowledge and eloquence, are also requiredbecause an effective leader, basing on his own knowledge, has to sign documentsand deal with problems from various aspects of the society.


总是出现传上来后个别词句连起来的现象,特上传附件

EX.10 Issue 43.doc

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发表于 2010-5-15 16:04:55 |只看该作者
issue43 by Cynthia
限时1h,一限时字数就写不够……
In my point of view, a public official should observe the highest ethical and moral standards, if he or she have the willing to be an effective leader. Being justice, impartial, and maintain the highest ethical and moral standards, is not only benefit for the publics, but also helps the government be accepted and respected by its people.

First of all, government always requires citizens to obey ethical and moral standards. If the officials, who work for the government even do not maintain these rules, how can they persuade the public to follow the moral standards. In my point of view, the leaders should be good examples to the public to achieve their respects and trust among people of the society. Only through this can the public obey the laws and policies they made; only through this can the government lead their people effectively.

Moreover, government officials have many rights and powers. If they are not justice, they might use these kind of powers to maximize their own profits illegally. For example, a official of revenue lack of moral standards might not pay the taxes, he might cut down the taxes of companies which bribe him. In this case, the society would in the danger of unfairness and injustice. This kind of unfairness may consequently arouse the publics' unsatisfaction of the government, which might cause the social chaos and hamper the harmony of communities. Thus, the highest ethical and moral standards should be maintained among government officials to keep the society's justice and harmony.

Besides, holding the highest ethical and moral standards can help the leaders to achieve successful and long-lasting political life. Since an unethical leader is tend to lose people's trust and respect, which would finally leads to the end of his or her political career. As we all know, Nixon is the best illustration. A public official, who maintains highest ethical and moral standards, truly cares about the public benefits, and is strict to his or her own behaviours, is tend to achieve people's trust and respect, otherwise he or she would not be in the position for long. Such as a corrupt official is usually punished by the law, and a tyrant is often overturned by the people.

To sum up, to be effective leaders, public officials should maintain the highest ethical and moral standards. Only through this, can the government be respected, can the decisions of the government be accepted by its people. Only through this, can a leader fulfill his or her successful and lasting political career. Otherwise, social instability and unfairness would happen, the government would lose its authority, and the unethical official would finally punished by the law and would fail to have a long and successful political life.

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发表于 2010-5-15 16:07:18 |只看该作者
我在改你的文章的时候更多的是在看你文章的思路。其实我现在把我对于这题的想法写下来也许能够给你提供点不同的思路吧
首先,我在考虑学生为什么要学习?1为了工作?2 为力在学术上作出贡献?3 纯粹为了提升自己?
从这几个方面考虑SKEP是有有益于学生,会不会更好呢?
其次,学校的教育目的是什么? 1 建立学生的基础道德及价值体系 2 特定科目的学术知识
那么从这个角度来看,SKEP又都是合适的么?不一定吧
最后,SKEP在任何情况下就是最好的吗?有更合适的么?
从上面这几个问题,我对于这个题目就产生了很多思路,所以也希望能给你有所启发。
在看你的文章时,我觉得可能是因为时限的原因思路有点没打开,而且论证也还差那么最后一步,其实都是再加几句话,更改一下TS工夫就能改进的。词句我就不多说了,至于从句嘛我觉得我有点走火如魔,所以也就不荼毒你了啊。等我想明白从句后再找你交流
OVER.
It is common inschools that students’ performances are measured by scores, which to a large extent indicate theirabilities of remembering what they are taught. As a result, students are tendto accept the theories and principles of text books passively to get highscores, rather than thinking over the theories themselves to find out thetruth. However, skepticism to the existing knowledge isnot only crucial to students themselves, but also essential for the developmentof the society.
【在看到这个主题句后我觉得你这篇文章可能偏题了,因为这篇文章讨论的是学生对于skepticism的态度应该如何,而你却在后面提到了skepticism对于社会的作用,为了使你的论证更加有效,你需要有效地去连接这两个观点,使你的主题句中的中心只为学生】

On one hand, skepticism is ofgreat importance for the students when they step into society. Our aim ofeducation is to cultivate individuals who have make contributions tothe society. Students can not be students forever, finally they would step intosociety to be researchers, engineers and professors,they (这里否应该用定语从句引导呢?)
might be required to havetheories and principles themselves. They may face new problems which have nodefinitely correct answers like examinations, their
there might be variousideas about onethe same thing. If students always acceptexisting knowledge passively without considering it (或者consideration), they might getconfused before (在这里是什么意思呢?) these questions, they even cannot tell right fromwrong, let alone have their own views and have contributions to the society.
【你这段主要在说SKEPTICISM对于将要踏进社会的学生很重要,我觉得在你的TS中,你的论证应该再往前推一步,那就是因为这个重要所以学生们在学习时需要带着skepticism

On theother hand, skepticism plays an important role in the development of a society.
Amyriad of
scienceand technology development
s are out from(这个有得自于的意思么?) the questioning of the existing knowledge.Copernicus developed the geocentric theory by the skepticism ofheliocentricism, which was undisputed at that time. Albert Einstein formulatedthe theory of relativity by questioning Newton'stheory of mechanics, which is known as classical mechanics. Galileo’s famousexperiment of "two iron balls fall to the ground at the same time" onthe tower of Pisa overturned Aristotle's doctrine of"the falling speed of an object is proportional to its weigh". We cansee from these examples that scientific skepticism can promote the pace ofsocial development. Through denying the fallacies in the past, we create moredeveloped new things nowadays. Hence, such criticalspirits should be encouraged and should also be emphasized in our education.
【感觉在这里对于学生应该用skepticism的论述不完全,因为你只是说了它对于社会发展有利,所以我们也需要应用在教育中。感觉这样两句的逻辑关系不紧凑,不如说skepticism有利于学生在学术上面产生进步,所以学生应该运用它】

However, beyond isas wrong as falling short. Over-emphasizing on skepticism might leads toneglecting of basic knowledge, which is relatively true in a long period oftime. Students who are critical to every theory might have difficulty informing a scientific systematization of knowledge, which is the basic for themto explore the new lands of their fields.
【这里是不是想不出例子啊?所以篇幅有点少我也想不出什么例子诶】

In the end, skepticism is critical both for students themselves and forthe development of a society. Without such critical spirit, we cannotfind out the fallacies before, thus cannot create a new theory. Our educationshould pay more attention to cultivate students the way of critical thinking,only through this can the students adapt to the dramatically changing era,which have many problems without definitions and accurate answers.

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发表于 2010-5-15 16:08:44 |只看该作者
我很火大,为什么总是掉色!!!!

EX.09 Issue 153 by Cyn.doc

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RE: 【1010G精英组】ISSUR&ARGU 习作——by Group Choice [修改]

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