[1010G精英组] ISSUE&ARGU 习作 by Group Energy

hebillUID: 2532108

占个地板先 O(∩_∩)O~

shevavaUID: 2574709

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The author of the editorial concludes that the decline in arctic deer populations is the result of deer being unable to follow their age-old migration patterns across the frozen sea. To support the conclusion the author cites the reports from local hunters which indicate that the populations of arctic deer are declining, and these reports coincide with recent global warming trends that have caused the sea ice to melt. The author also points out that the arctic deer search for food by moving over ice from island to island during the course of a year, because their habitat is limited to areas warm enough to sustain the plants on which they feed, and cold enough during a period of the year, for the ice to cover the sea separating the islands, allowing the deer to travel over it. This argument suffers from a series of poor assumptions, which render it wholly unpersuasive as it stands.

To begin with, accurately, the reports which indicate the populations of arctic deer is declining coincide with recent global warming trends that have caused the sea ice to melt, but the reports haven't indicated that the ice in Canada's arctic region melt as well. And even if the ice there has melt, that doesn't mean the arctic deer are unable to follow their age-old migration patterns across the frozen sea.

In the second place, as the absent of evidence to prove the arctic deer are unable to search for food by moving over ice from island to island during the course of a year as their age-old always do, there is direct and persuasive evidence to justify the decline in arctic deer population is the result of the global warming trends. There is no proof to indicate the reason of decline is because the arctic deer cannot find food by moving over ice. Too many possibilities there to make the population decline, for example, the climate make them vulnerable to ill, then even dead. Or the food they live rely on is die out.

Finally, there is no evidence to justify the local hunters' reports are reliable. The author overlooks to give the justifiable static to show the population in arctic deer is really decline. The author just tells us the reports from the local hunters indicate that the populations of arctic deer are declining, without any other detail of the reports. Therefore, he is failed to convince us that the truth of the reports.

In conclusion, the argument is unconvincing as it stands. To strengthen it, the author must give enough detail of the reports to indicate the populations are actually declining. And rule out the other possibility lead to the decline except the arctic deer cannot find food. We also need more information about the deer are unable to follow their age-old migration patterns across the frozen sea.

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Revised By

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nanfeng25899UID: 2629871

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1．
前提一：北极鹿每年通过冰块岛移
2．
前提二：当地的猎人报告鹿的数量在下降
3．
前提三：全球变暖
4．
结论：北极鹿的数量下降是无法岛移的结果


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1．攻击点一： 猎人报告的可信性（当地猎人=所有猎人?猎人的报告=整个北极?）
2．攻击点二： 全球变暖=北极变暖？
3．攻击点三： 变暖=无法进行岛移？


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The conclusion that the decrease of the arctic deer is due to being unable to move over ice between different islands seems to plausible and tenable, however, the logic of this journal is actually indefensible because of the questionable reports from the local hunters about the population of deer and the misunderstanding of global warming’s influence on the arctic.

First of all, the survey’ credibility is unwarranted. The local hunters are unrepresentative of the whole hunters in the arctic, that is, we cannot infer the slump of the deer from their reports without ruling out other alternatives. Perhaps the time when they go out to hunt for deer is just different from the time when the deer seek for their food. In addition, the hunters are also likely to give the deceptive information to the local government in order to veil the fact that too much deer is killed by them. Therefore, to make it sound, the author does need to provide us more reliable evidence to substantiate the credulity of this report.

Like what I mentioned at the beginning, the global warming does not stand for the rising temperature in arctic. What exactly is the global warming? Briefly, it means the rise of global average temperature rather than the change in one region. For instance, under the circumstances that in the world the temperature of all the areas but two is constant during the same period, the former’s temperature soars by 50 degree Celsius, yet the latter drops by 10 degree Celsius. Then we can tell everyone we are suffering from the global warming. If the arctic were the former one, of course, the conclusion based on this assumption is unacceptable.

Finally, even if the climate in arctic is becoming warmer, the failure of moving is also likely to have nothing to do with the mounting temperature. In this article, the author state that the deer just need to move to another island in some specific time in a year, not always, which means if the arctic warming happens in non-migration time there is no obstacle for them to move. What’s more, it’s still possible that the occurrence of warming is within their moving spell, whereas no explicit evidences, like the detailed statistics about warming, can demonstrate that the change of temperature is high enough to melt the ice.

Overall, the reasoning behind the decreasing population appears to be trustful and well-reasoned. However, only by offering more information in detail about the population change, the hunting habit of hunters, the statistics about global warming and the temperature change in arctic can the author convince us of his conclusion.
  
  


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SandraShanUID: 2753079

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1、2北极鹿靠着冰在岛屿间的移动来搜寻食物3北极鹿的栖息场所
1、2、3à介绍鹿的生活习性
4根据当地捕猎者的报道，鹿的数量在减少
5由于这种报道与全球气候变暖导致冰融化相一致
4、5à北极鹿的减少是由于他们不能在冰上移动

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1. 当地捕猎者的报道不能说明鹿的数量真的减少了
2.全球变暖不一定导致北极的冰雪融化
3.未排除其它可能导致鹿数量减少的因素

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In this analysis, the arguer claims thatglobal warming trends, which have caused the sea ice to melt, is the reasonthat the deer population are declining, for deer cannot be able to across thefrozen sea as their age-old migration patterns. To support the statement, thearguer cites the reports from local hunters saying that the populations of thedeer are declining. In addition, the arguer reasons that this phenomenon is theresult out of global warming trends. This argument, which sounds lucid andlogical at first glance, suffers from several critical fallacies.

First of all, the reliability of reportscited by the arguer is open to question. The local hunters might just give outtheir conclusion by counting the populations of deer in a limited area. Surelytheir conclusion isn’t meaningful to the statistics of the deer populations.Besides, maybe it’s due to the local hunters’ over hunting which shooed thedeer to other places of Canada, while the total populations of the deer are notsignificantly declining. Other possibilities may exit to make the conclusion unconvincing.

In the second place, even if we acceptthe reports, the argument remains questionable. The arguer also failed to pointout a causal relationship between the recent global warming trendsand the decline in the arctic deer populations. And no direct evidence isprovided to support that global warming trends have caused the sea ice to melt.Then how can the arguer state that it is the melting of the ice that results inthe he decline in arctic deer populations.

What’s more, the arguer failed toconsider other factors that may decline the populations of the deer. Thespreading of disease and the shortage of food may as well be the origin of deer’spopulations declining. Obviously, the arguer only presented a one-sided reason.

In conclusion, the argument, while itseems logical at first, has several flaws as discussed above. It can beimproved by offering more details about the reports, more information aboutglobal warming and other factors of their living conditions in arctic can theauthor convince us of his conclusion.

深川翼UID: 2678109

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1．
The arctic deer travel over the ice covering the sea separating the islands.
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According to reports from local hunters, the deer populations are declining.
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Recent global warming trends have caused the sea ice to melt.
4．
The conclusion:The decline in arctic deer populations is the result of deer being unable to follow their age-old migration patterns across the frozen sea.

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1．攻击点一： 报告的可信度，调查是否持续足够长的时间，是否覆盖足够大的范围。
2．攻击点二： 物种数量下降的原因不可能只有一个方面，还有食材，气候，是否有更多猎人捕捉等都会影响鹿的数量。
3．攻击点三： 即使全球变暖使冰块融化，是否能确定剩余的冰块不够鹿迁移用，毕竟北极的冰块有很多很多。

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In the argument, the author comes to the conclusion that the decline in Arctic deer population is the result of deer being unable to follow their age-old migration patterns across the frozen sea because of the recent global warming trends. To strengthen his argument, the author takes the reports from local hunters that the deer populations are declining and the recent global warming trends causing the sea ice to melt as evidences. However, I would play the devil's advocate and cast doubt on this dubious assertion.

First and foremost, the acuity of the surveys conducted by local hunters remains doubtful. Whether the reports were taken during enough span of time or covering adequate space is a key point to the correction of the result. From the statement above, we cannot make a conclusion that the survey is good enough for us to make any decision relevant to the decline of Arctic deer.

What's more, I strongly argue that the decline of Arctic deer is the result of global warming causing ice to melt. As what we all have learned in biology, there are many aspects influencing the number of a group of animals, such as the food they feed, the change of the climate, the number of hunters hunting for them and so on. Similarly, the declining number of Arctic deer may be caused by the hunters doing more hunting or fewer plants on which they feed or something else. Making such a conclusion just by the ice which allows them to travel melt by the global warming is not cogent.

Eventually, whether the number of ice is not adequate for Arctic deer to travel remains to be seen. Though global warming causes some pieces of ice melting, there should be a lot of ice remained in Arctic area which is large enough more than we can imagine. Maybe there is enough ice left for them to use, so what the conclusion says is not reasonable according to my opinion.



In sum, though the argument seems through and logically persuasive, it indeed has many fallacies inside. To make the argument more convincing, the author should establish a more accurate result of the decline of Arctic deer. And to better evaluate the viability of the argument, I would also like to know that whether the reports are accurate enough, whether there are some other factors causing the decline and whether the ice in Arctic area remains enough for these deer to travel. Only by being provided with these evidences can we fully substantiate that the argument is reasonable.

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Revised By Finn

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语法问题
批注

In the argument, the author comes to the conclusion that the decline in Arctic deer population is the result of deer being unable to follow their age-old migration patterns across the frozen sea because of (because of /result of是不是有点重复了global warming trends可以放在前面说 再考虑下语法有点乱) the recent global warming trends. To strengthen his argument, the author takes the reports from local hunters that the deer populations are declining and (用and连接应该是并列关系但后面又用了causing 感觉前后又有点因果关系 有点乱 呵呵) the recent global warming trends causing the sea ice to melt as evidences. However, I would play the devil's (？想表达什么意思？不理解 固定搭配？回头给我说说哈) advocate and cast doubt on this dubious assertion.

First and foremost, the acuity of the surveys conducted by local hunters remains doubtful. Whether the reports were taken during enough span of time or covering adequate space (span…后面这半句可以参考一下规范的表达是怎么说的) is a key point to the correction of the result. From the statement above, we cannot make a conclusion that the survey is good enough for us to make any decision relevant to the decline of Arctic deer.
(本段内容略显单薄，说理应该更充分，或列举他因什么的 仅仅说理不合适)

What's more, I strongly argue (不合适吧 suspect？感觉这句话写的不正式) that the decline of Arctic deer is the result of global warming causing ice to melt. As what we all have learned in biology, there are many aspects (factors) influencing the number of a group (还需要用group修饰吗？) of animals, such as the food they feed, the change of the climate, the number of hunters hunting for them (分词修饰多余删) and so on. (正式文体还是不要用so on了) Similarly (跟什么类似？), the declining number of Arctic deer may be caused by the hunters doing more hunting or fewer plants on which they feed or something else.
(前面说的时候就详细说 后面又来了一句感觉有点重复) Making such a conclusion just by the ice which allows them to travel melt by the global warming is not cogent. (语言有问题 首先是头重脚轻可以考虑用倒装 用被动语态更合适)

Eventually, whether the number of ice (冰的数量？什么意思) is not adequate for Arctic deer to travel remains to be seen (语法不对travel remains 你想表达什么？). Though global warming causes some pieces (短语虽然有付出代价的意思 但用在这不合适) of ice melting, there should be a lot of ice remained in Arctic area which is large enough more than we can imagine. Maybe there is enough ice left for them to use, so what the conclusion says is not reasonable according to my opinion.
(这一段的内容也略显单薄，感觉这段攻击的点找的不好 我没太搞懂你想表达的意思 呵呵)

In sum, though the argument seems through and logically persuasive, it indeed has many fallacies inside. To make the argument more convincing, the author should establish a more accurate result of the decline of Arctic deer. And to better evaluate the viability of the argument, I would also like to know that whether the reports are accurate enough, whether there are some other factors causing the decline and whether the ice in Arctic area remains enough for these deer to travel. Only by being provided with these evidences can we fully substantiate that the argument is reasonable. (结尾相比你中间正文段都写的多，应该多下点笔墨在正文)

建议：1、正文第三段攻击点选择有点偏
2、中国式思维及语言，可查阅规范的表达方法
3、部分模式化句型可以参考精彩表达中的表达方法
4、多阅读英文的相关表达方法
5、逻辑性不强，句子衔接不紧密

pennycleverUID: 2777479

占.................

zmssghhUID: 2779772

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1：deer每年通过浮冰迁徙
2：当地的hunter报告deer的数量减少
3：正好现在气候变暖导致了sea ice的融化
4：结论：deer因为不能迁徙了而数量减少


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1 作者未提供作report的hunter和详细信息，可能他们并不善于寻找deer导致了错误的调查结果
2：作者没有证明全球变暖导致了deer栖息地的冰川的融化，进而也就没有证明deer真的不能迁徙了
3：作者没有证明不能迁徙是导致他们数量减少的原因，还可能是别的原因
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In the argument, the author argue that global warming, which leads to the melt of the sea ice, results in the decline in the number of the total arctic deer that are not able to migrate annually as usual. To strengthen his conclusion, the author offers some information about the arctic deer and their habitat as well as some reports from the local hunters. Although seems to be convincing at first glance, the author's conclusion, from the logical point of view, suffers some fault which cannot be ignored.

To begin with, the author fails to give any detailed information, such as the number of the hunters and whether the hunters are experienced in observing arctic deer, about the local hunters who offers the reports, which makes the result of the report lack of credibility. If the number of the hunters is insufficient or they are fresh in doing such a job, it would be possible that the arctic deer may have migrated to another area well the hunters only search for the arctic deer in their former habitat, which, in no doubt, can lead to a wrong conclusion.
Thus, as the author's conclusion is totally based on this questionable report, the argument made by the author is really weak.

What's more, even if the reports offered by the hunters are authentic, the author have failed to give any convincing evidence to prove the view that the global warming does make the arctic deer unable to migrate annually. It is very likely that global warming, though causing some sea ice to melt, fails to have any effect on the sea ice in Canada's arctic region. In this case, arctic deer will, in contrast with the argument, be able to follow their age-old migration patterns. Thus, it is unadvisable for the author to draw any conclusion before giving some reasoned evidence in proving the relationship between global warming and the changes in arctic deer's migration patterns.

The last but not least, even if the global warming does cause the sea ice to melt in Canada's arctic region and then lead to the arctic deer unable to migrate annually, the argument doesn't provide any suasive evidence to support the causal relationship between the reduce of the arctic deer populations and the changes in their migration patterns. There are a lot of factors, including the changes of the environment, the natural enemy and the lack of food, that may cause the decreasing of the population. Without ruling out all these possibilities, it is impossible for the author to give any cogent argument.

In all, the author makes many logic faults in the argument, making his conclusion unpersuasive. Unless offering more detailed information about the hunters and more well-founded evidence about the relationship between global warming and declining of the deer populations, the author cannot convince us of his conclusion.


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kingwyf87UID: 2457409

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                                                             【1010G精英组】E小组第5次作业

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Issue50

In order to improve the quality of instruction at the college and university level, all faculty should

be required to spend time working outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses

they teach."

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                                 写作样式模板

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kingwyf87UID: 2457409

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1 进行非学术性的职业可能对学生带来好处
2 并不是所有老师都适合从事非学术型职业的工作
3 从事非学术型职业的工作的时间很可能会影响老师对学生的教育时间从而降低教学质量

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Is it necessary that spending time working outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses teachers teach, in order to improve the quality of instruction at the college and university? Although I agree with the speaker's assertion that it is benefit for teachers to work outside the academic world which may improve the quality of instruction, the speaker also ignores that working outside maybe nothing help to the courses teachers teach, sometimes, even harm to their academic.

Admittedly, working outside the academic world may have many benefits, to some extent, for teachers who work in a college or a university. Working outside would give a teacher with an open mind and relate the courses they teach more closely to the society. Suppose that a scientist, whose major is computer science, cannot constrict his study only in academic professions. In order to know better that what products do the market really requires, the scientist must spend some time working outside. Under this situation, the scientist can teach their students both the academic in books and also the experience in the really world. After graduating from the college or university, the students may easily find high paid jobs. Thus, the quality of instruction at college and university level would be improved.

However, working outside, sometimes, may not suite for all faculties in university. Take the theorist for example. These kinds of faculties do not need much more experiences which can be gained directly from working outside. Form the fact that plant Uranus was a bit out of its normal orbit, some mathematicians logically reasoned the existence of a new plant, Neptune, and even precisely calculated its position according to the Newton's theory of universal gravitation nearly two hundred years ago. In this situation, working outside can be viewed as wasting time, even if the scientist had spent a little time. It is, therefore, entirely possible that the Neptune haven’t be discovered yet. The experiences of working outside contribute noting to help the scientist to calculate the position of the Neptune.

In addition, working outside the academic world may even ruin the quality of instruction at the university level. On the one hand, the time teachers spend on working outside is supposed to use for teaching the students or doing reaches inside the academic world. Without paying much attention and enough time to the academic courses, the students cannot learn well from their teachers. On the other hand, because of working outside, many complicated things may bother theaters. They have to spend less time both on their academic researches and teaching, which will result in failing in gained support form projects, and even worse teachers would lose their jobs due to the poor quality of teaching courses.

To sum up, I agree with that it is good for teachers working outside the academic world. Such experiences will let teachers combine their teaching of both theoretical and practical skills. However, the speaker also fails to consider that working outside maybe nothing help to the courses they teach, sometimes, even harm to the academic.

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Revised By Hebill Waiting…

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zmssghhUID: 2779772

额……又一ISSUE……先占……

CypherUID: 2793818

占

SandraShanUID: 2753079

占~

hebillUID: 2532108

占~ 小宇宙 爆发吧。。。。

nanfeng25899UID: 2629871

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1 . 正文段一：在有些领域中，像商科类中的金融的老师就应该参加所教课程的一些工作，这样可以让自己的知识与时俱进，验证自己的理论是否适合市场需要
2．正文段二：有的学科像理论物理，却没有相对应的工作
3．正文段三：有的学科像哲学，需要独立的思考


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Is it necessary for all faculty to spend time working outside world in professions relevant to what they teach in the university, which ultimate purpose is to improve the quality of instruction? The author claims so, however, the idea that the teachers are ought to take the part-time jobs may not have the same beneficial impact on some disciplines as on others because of their own features in the process of teaching.

Undoubtedly, the teachers of some subjects such as finance or other majors in business school should put what they teach in their classes into practice, due to the fact that the economy tendency varies from day to day and the knowledge in this capricious area is updating gradually. The teacher must keep the pace of the change, or their students will exert the obsolete theories on the finance system which perhaps results in the pandemic crisis just like the one in 2008. Bruised by that crisis and starring at the declining applicants, masses of teachers in the business school are beginning to reconsider what they impart to those futures’ businessman. If their theories are out of date and cannot reach the basic goals of pump- priming the economy, the existence of the college and university is meaningless.

Yet when it comes to weigh up the value of working outside for some other disciplines, it seems not to be valuable as it appears. In the society, not all the subjects are able to succeed finding the corresponding jobs or titles. Like the theoretical cosmology, the Hawking’s research field is a case in point. As one of great achievers in the world history, the fully-equipped labs are his secondary homes and the accumulated books are the resource of his inspiration and the place where he can contact other great minds. No one will force him to work outside because it’s unrealistic to apply his theory to the tangible world in the same way as finance does. As a result, spending their precious thinking time on less effective seems not to be a sensible way to improve the quality of instruction.

Finally, the same condition goes for philosophy, which features with the dependent thinking rather than the tangible work. The majority of philosophers like Plato or Aristotle devote their most time into thinking general and fundamental problems concerning matters such as existence, knowledge, values, reason, mind, and language, which is just what the most philosophical professors should follow. Therefore, compared with wasting time working outside, always considering the mundane stuffs and thus relatively cutting down the time of thinking, it will be wiser for those teachers to indulge themselves in the academic world.

Overall, requiring all faculty seek for work really makes little sense. To be honest, whether or not they should hunt for a job outside their college or university largely depends on whether the practical experience play a crucial role in the instruction.





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