[1010G精英组] ISSUE&ARGU 习作 by Group Energy

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Issue043

"To be an effective leader, a public official must maintain the highest ethical and moral standards."

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kingwyf87UID: 2457409

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1具有正直的品格是很重要的
2有时可以允许一定程度的违反民族和道德标准
3 根据不同的需要和在不同的政治体制下对官员的要求也是不一样的

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The issue of whether an effective leader must maintain the highest ethical and moral standards is a complex and controversial one. Different people hold different opinions due to their respective ways of looking at an issue. In my point of view, however, I agree that leaders should continuously enhance their ethical and moral standards. Rather, I hold the opinion that besides ethical and moral standards, there are some crucial abilities of effective leadership such as decisive, communicate, and tactful. My view will be greatly strengthened by the following discussion.

To begin with, if an officer wants to be a good leader, he is required to have higher ethical and moral standards. The leader thus could extremely strengthen his leadership by making him as an example with excellent ethical and moral standards. For example, Gandhi is such a man, who was the pre-eminent political and spiritual leader of India during the Indian independence movement.  As a common Hindu, Gandhi believed all religions to be equal, and rejected all efforts to convert him to a different faith. Therefore, it is the strong faith that earned innumerable supporters and followers fighting with him for which Gandhi eventually obtained the victory of Indian independence movemente. And Gandhi is officially honored in India as the Father of the Nation.

However, higher ethical and moral standards are not the necessary condition that can guarantee an officer to become a distinguished leader. As for being a good leader, one cannot expect too much from him as everyone cannot be perfect with lots of weaknesses. Besides ethical and moral standards, there are some crucial abilities of effective leadership for the offices such as decisive, communicate, and tactful. A good example is Bill Clinton, the former President of the United States. As we all know, Clinton has been subject to various allegations of sexual misconduct, though only his extramarital sexual relationships with Lewinsky has been admitted by him. From this respect, he cannot be a good leader as moral deficiency. Nevertheless, most of the American people would rather consider him as an extraordinary president in US history. Such high appraisal is owing to the great contribution made by Clinton in his presidency, for example, the peace-time economic expansion, low unemployment rate, and well-relationship of diplomacy with other centuries. The moral deficiency does not make Clinton notorious, and people give him a fair justification balanced between his efforts and mistakes.      

At the end, whether an effective leader must maintain the highest ethical and moral standards depends on situation leaders faced to deal with and may various in countries as their different political systems. If we want to build, we should find an “artist leader” who is imaginative, inspiring, and visionary; if we want to solidify our position, we should find a “craftsman leader” who is well-balanced, stead, and reasonable; if we have an ugly job that needs to get done, we should find a “technocratic leader” who is detail-oriented, fastidious, and hard-headed. These three types of leader with very unlike psychological profiles are well suited in which circumstance it is required different qualities of leader. In addition, various in political systems may make the situation complicated. In the country like American which has a Separation of the executive, legislative and judicial powers, leaders thus cannot make thing worse because of his moral deficiency. But the situation may completely opposite in the country like China since the powers are not separate at all. In this situation, the leader must be ones with the highest ethical and moral standards in case of undermining the development of society and the benefit of broad masses.

To sum up, basing my conclusion on the illustrations and exposition mentioned above, accordingly, I agree that leaders should continuously enhance their ethical and moral standards for their good. Rather, I hold the opinion that besides ethical and moral standards, we have to take other crucial abilities of effective leadership such as decisive, communicate, and tactful into consideration when we judging the leader whether good or not. In addition, the situation may become complicated when we put the leader in various circumstance and different political systems.

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Revised By shevava

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蓝色：结构句
红色：问题
绿色：好词句
橙色：段落总结

The issue of whether an effective leader must maintain the highest ethical and moral standards is a complex and controversial one. Different people hold different opinions due to their respective ways of looking at（应该用一表示“评价，判断”的词吧，look at 没有这层意思） an issue. In my point of view, however（不是转折关系吧）, I agree that leaders should continuously enhance their ethical and moral standards. Rather, I hold the opinion that besides ethical and moral standards, there are some crucial abilities of effective leadership such as decisive, communicate, and tactful（是讲ability,应该用名词形式）. My view will be greatly strengthened by the following discussion.(这句多余吧)

To begin with, if an officer wants to be a good leader, he is required to have higher ethical and moral standards. The leader thus could extremely strengthen his leadership（觉得用strengthen 有点别扭，用improve,enhance是不是会好点儿） by making him as（setting就可以了吧） an example with excellent ethical and moral standards. For example, Gandhi is such a man, who was the pre-eminent political and spiritual leader of India during the Indian independence movement. As a common Hindu（我觉得这儿说他是common了，后面的说明大家都这样了，就不能突出它的特殊性了）, Gandhi believed all religions to be equal, and rejected all efforts to convert him to a different faith（不太明白）. Therefore, it is the strong faith that earned innumerable supporters and followers fighting with him for which Gandhi eventually obtained the victory of Indian independence movement. And Gandhi is officially honored in India as the Father of the Nation.

However, higher ethical and moral standards are not the necessary condition that can guarantee an officer（范围不太准确吧） to become a distinguished leader. As for being a good leader, one cannot expect too much from him（三个名词指代有些混乱） as everyone cannot be perfect with lots of weaknesses. Besides ethical and moral standards, there are some crucial abilities of effective leadership for the offices such as decisive, communicate, and tactful. A good example is Bill Clinton, the former President of the United States. As we all know, Clinton has been subject to various allegations of sexual misconduct, though only his extramarital sexual relationships with Lewinsky has been admitted by him. From this respect, he cannot be a good leader as（for） moral deficiency. Nevertheless, most of the American people would rather consider him as an extraordinary president in US history. Such high appraisal is owing to（时态） the great contribution（s） made by Clinton in his presidency, for example, the peace-time economic expansion, low unemployment rate, and well-relationship of diplomacy with other centuries. The moral deficiency does not make Clinton notorious, and people give him a fair justification balanced between his efforts and mistakes.

At the end, whether an effective leader must maintain the highest ethical and moral standards depends on situation leaders faced to(have to?/facing to) deal with and may various（vary） in countries as their different political systems. If we want to build, we should find an “artist leader” who is imaginative, inspiring, and visionary; if we want to solidify our position, we should find a “craftsman leader” who is well-balanced, stead, and reasonable; if we have an ugly job that needs to get done, we should find a “technocratic leader” who is detail-oriented, fastidious, and hard-headed.(排比句，效果很好) These three types of leader with very unlike psychological profiles are well suited in which circumstance it is required different qualities of leader（无先行词）. In addition, various（须名词，differences） in political systems may make the situation(s) complicated. In the country like American which has a Separation of the executive, legislative and judicial powers, leaders thus cannot make thing worse because of his moral deficiency. But the situation may completely (be) opposite in the country like China since the powers are not separate at all. In this situation, the leader must be ones with the highest ethical and moral standards in case of undermining the development of society and the benefit of broad masses.(后面的举例须更深入说明，来更好的证明观点)

To sum up, basing my conclusion on the illustrations and exposition mentioned above, accordingly, I agree that leaders should continuously enhance their ethical and moral standards for their good. Rather, I hold the opinion that besides ethical and moral standards, we have to take other crucial abilities of effective leadership such as decisive, communicate, and tactful into consideration when we judging the leader whether good or not. In addition, the situation may become complicated when we put the leader in various circumstance and different political systems.（末端不要重复主题句，需进行改写，或对主题进行深化）

结构完整，最后一段可以总结一种通用的写法，而不是重复前面的；
个别语法，用词需进行注意；
内容上，前两段能比较好的支持观点，第三段说理部分也不错，举例须更深入详细的说明跟主题的关系…

加油…together

nanfeng25899UID: 2629871

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1．保持最高的伦理和道德标准是成为一名成功的领导者的要素之一
2．但是，即使有时为了个人利益破坏了道德，也不能因此否认领导者的成功
3．再者，有时候为了国家的利益，必须舍弃道德

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Does an effective leader have to maintain the ethics and morality? In my view, although the maintenance of the ethical and moral standards seems to be an essential element for being an excellent leader, whether he/she can become a well-known and successful bellwether largely depends on what he/she have achieved during the presidency.

Admittedly, ethics and morality are the ingredients conducive to be a distinguished leader for a public official. In most cases, the ethical and moral value of the society represents what the public are pursuing for, so people always imagine and strongly wish that their leaders can take those virtues and become their ideal model. Thus the governors with ethics and morality are more likely to win the respects of the citizens and be easier to succeed. Take the Abraham Lincoln for example. It is his humanism and philanthropism that do his a favor in the way to be the greatest achiever in the world. And the Emancipation Proclamation ending the slavery and the proper way to handle the Civil war, which result from his ethics and morality, are just the highlights in his resume. On the contrary, without those guidelines, Hitler, one of the most notorious figures in the history, are devastated by the way how he applied his power.

However, even if possessing the ethical and moral credos is no more crucial, the most substantial criterion for evaluating whether the bellwether is prominent is their accomplishments. To be honest, regardless of his/her position, they are ordinary people who sometimes have their desires and own thoughts. However, the violation will not efface their exploits, which are the evidence of their effort. Nixon is a case in point. As is known to all, Watergate event is the largest spot in his life even the American history, yet what about his effort to establish Sino-American relationship? What about his endeavor to deal with Vietnam War? What about the space program in which three men were sent to the moon, thus being the first nation landing other planets? Whatever he had done in the Watergate scandal, there was no doubt that he is one of the most stars in the history of the United States.

Furthermore, in order to fulfill the leaders' jobs, they even have to abandon the ethics and morality. In Qing Dynasty, Qin Shi Huang, the first emperor to unit China, burned previously existing books written in different word so as to make the dream of the unification of the word finally come true. Though someone will depute that this indeed limit the public's thoughts and result in the loss of the precious records of the history and thoughts, it is necessary to give this inhuman order to reach a larger goal--the unification of China. In addition, he also built one of the miracles in the world, the Great Wall and unified the monetary unit, which are the merits that almost can not be exceeded by other emperors in the history of China.

Overall, the key to be an effective leader lies in what he/she has done to the nation other than maintaining the moral and ethical standards. Have he/she expanded the prosperity and political influence of their country? Have he/ she pushed the nation towards a better future? That's the means in which we judge the leader.

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shevavaUID: 2574709

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What is an effective leader and how to be an effective leader are always concerned by every leader that take care of what they are concentrating on, such as how to strengthen the power of the country, how to enhance the status of the country on the international stage, how to improve the strength of the team, and so on. On the other hand, from the perspective of the follows, they anticipate patient, considerate, competent, and charismatic boss, leader, and mentor. It seems that the highest ethical and moral standards are not contained, however, they are the fundamental to be an effective leader.

Only when a person in possession of higher ethical and moral standards could it be possible for him or her be an effective leader. With a higher ethical and moral standards, the leader can set an example for the majority of people; With a higher ethical and moral standards, the leader would be more care about the power, and prevent the abuse of it; With a higher ethical and moral standards, the leader would work for the welfare of the people, rather than his or her own interests. For example, the leader with high moral ethical and moral would care about people in the disaster area, saying the Prime Minister Wen Jiabao in the disaster area of Wenchuan hurricane. And
President Bush and Louisiana Governor Kathleen Blanco to bring his city more help to New Orleans in the storm.

Only a person in possession of higher ethical and moral standards could receive confidence and trust of the governed. Even in everyday life, we would be reluctant to deal with people who are selfish, voracious, lazy or untruthful. For example, to work in a team, if my team members are lazy, and sit there to wait for A, without participating the team work, that is so called “free rider”, I would be disagreeable about team members. The combat effectiveness and outcome of the team cannot be ensured. The common people are in such conditions, not to speak of the leader. Therefore, only when the majority of people are confident and trustful in the leader, then the effectiveness and efficiency of the policies could be ensured.

What deserves attention is that morality in politics is somewhat different from morality in daily life. Morality in politics cares more the welfare of the whole country and the people. Besides the morality in politics, there are many other aspects that the leader should put into emphasis on, such as insightful knowledge, working capabilities, and so on, which are nothing less than the ethical and moral standards. There is an good example in this point that during the period of the President of Bill Clinton, both the increasing economic and the lower employment are applauded by the people. The international relationships with other countries are also in a very healthy state. However, because of the scandal of the love affair between Clinton and Lewinsky, the President of Clinton was almost impeached. Comparatively, with the great feat politically and financially, can the contributions of the President of Clinton be ignored? Wasn’t him a successful president?

Overall, the ethical and moral standards are the fundamental standards of an effective leader. With higher ethical and moral level, the leader would better discharge their duties and exercise their responsibilities. However, besides the high moral and ethical level, insightful knowledge, working capabilities and the like are no less important than the ethical and moral standards.

hebillUID: 2532108

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1 作为effective leader，maintain ethical and moral standards 是必要的
2 effective leader, ethical and moral standards 不是唯一考虑因素。
3 综合考虑政治家的各方面素质，对他进行综合评估。

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In the issue, the author holds theopinion that to be an effective leader, a public official must maintain thehighest ethical and moral standards. Different people hold different opinionsdue to their respective ways of looking at an issue. In my point of view, I believethat an effective leader should hold the high (but not the highest) ethical andmoral standards as except the morality, there are other crucial characters fora politician to be an effective leader, except the morality. My view will begreatly strengthened by the following discussion.

To begin with, as an effectiveleader, it is indispensable to maintain ethical and moral standards. First, tobe a leader means to be an example for the people. Such morality as taking goodcare of the aged and the young, harmonious family relationship and showingrespect to everyone ascribes to the good image of a leader. People will feelmore reliable to be governed by a man of virtue. Second, moralities often contributedirectly to whether a complicated political issue can be solved effectively. Tobe an effective leader, a politician must seek moral support for his/herpolicy. For instance, Abraham Lincoln, who failed to get efficient support fromthe nation when he declared the war for the sake of the unity of the UnitedStated at the very beginning, proclaimed” Emancipation Proclamation” which led to his great political success and achievements. Thisexample illustrates the moralization of politics, which means disregarding thespecific character of the political sphere and the tendency to use morality toexplain political goals and to solve political problems. Therefore, politicianswith high ethical and moral standards may handle the problems more effectively.

Admittedly, ethical and moralstandards are necessary for an effective leader. However, they are not the onlyfactors an effective leader should hold as the eligible leader should behavewell in many other ways, such as prominent political caliber, charisma,far-reaching social influence, good political achievements. Although hisscandal with Monica Lewinsky had very bad influence, President Clinton maintainedextraordinarily high approval ratings for the job he was doing as President. Itis reasonable for people to distinguish between public selves and privateselves of the politicians and evaluate each independently. As an old saying “nobodyis utterly good or bad”, Politicians Are Not and Should Not be moral Leaders,politician is merely his/her occupation, thus it is unwise to expose theirpersonal life. They also have the right of making mistakes, just like ordinarypeople.

To sum up, based on what I have stated above, political officialsshould improve and get to higher ethical and moral standards. Besides, to be aneffective leader, a politician should enhance other important characters to build,maintain, and expand the wealth, prosperity and political influence of hisnation, district, county, state or whatever he/she administer.

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Revised By Finn
语法问题 批注 精彩表达

In the issue, the author holds the opinion that to be an effective leader,(,删) a public official must maintain the highest ethical and moral standards. Different people hold different opinions due to their respective ways of looking at an issue. In my point of view, I believe that an effective leader should hold the high (but not the highest) ethical and moral standards as except the morality, there are other crucial characters (qualities) for a politician to be an effective leader, except (besides) the morality. My view will be greatly strengthened by the following discussion.

To begin with, as an effective leader, it is indispensable to maintain ethical and moral standards. First, to be a leader means to be an example for the people. Such morality as taking good care of the aged and the young, harmonious family relationship (这个词组用保持或者维护吧用take care of合适吗？) and showing respect to everyone ascribes to the good image of a leader. People will feel more reliable to be governed by a man of (with honorable) virtue. Second, moralities often contribute directly (前置) to whether a complicated political issue can be solved effectively.(这句不理解) To be an effective leader, a politician must seek moral support for his/her policy. For instance, Abraham Lincoln, who failed to get efficient (用词不合适 enough，sufficient) support from the nation when he declared the war for the sake of the unity of the United Stated at the very beginning, proclaimed” Emancipation Proclamation” which led to his great political success and achievements.(前面是at the very beginning失败了 后后面proclaimed” Emancipation Proclamation”成功了两个揉在一起不好 也没有逻辑连接的词) This example illustrates the moralization of politics, which means disregarding the specific character of the political sphere and (?你想表打什么 我没有搞明白例子和结论的联系) the tendency to use morality to explain political goals and to solve political problems. Therefore, politicians with high ethical and moral standards may handle the problems more effectively.(你的例子是说林肯用起政治主张得到了大家的拥护这个和道德高尚有什么关系吗？)


Admittedly, ethical and moral standards are necessary for an effective leader. However, they are not the only factors an effective leader should hold as the eligible leader should behave well in many other ways, such as prominent political caliber, charisma, far-reaching social influence, (and) good political achievements. Although his(?这里能指代后面的内容吗？) scandal with Monica Lewinsky had very bad influence, President Clinton maintained extraordinarily high approval ratings for the job he was doing as (the) President. It
is reasonable for people to distinguish between public selves (这个短语的意思是？) and private selves of the politicians and evaluate each independently. As an old saying (谓语呢？)“nobody is utterly good or bad”, Politicians Are Not (这么这么多大写？？) and Should Not be moral Leaders (这也是大写？？), politician is merely his/her occupation, thus it is unwise to expose their personal life (曝光他的私人生活？这跟是否道德高尚有什么关系？再说曝不曝光不是个人能控制的). They also have the right of making mistakes, just like ordinary people.

To sum up, based on what I have stated above, political officials should improve and get to higher ethical and moral standards. Besides, to be an effective leader, a politician should enhance other important characters to build, maintain, and expand the wealth, prosperity and political influence of his nation, district, county, state or whatever he/she administer.

小结：1、 比上一篇有进步
        2、 你是保留的支持型，但感觉写成平衡了，应该在加一段
    3、 例子不能很好的支撑论点，有些句子需要进一步斟酌其逻辑关系


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                                                             【1010G精英组】E小组第15次作业

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Issue103

"The study of history has value only to the extent that it is relevant to our daily lives."

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kingwyf87UID: 2457409

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1 研究历史对于改善日常生活有利
2 研究历史不应仅仅局限于与日常生活相关的诸如意识形态和文化
3 研究历史可还包括与国家层次相关的，最终也对有利于改善人们的日常生活

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The issue of whether study of history has value only to the extent that it is relevant to our daily lives is a complex and controversial one. Different people hold different opinions due to their respective ways of looking at an issue. In my point of view, however, I agree that learning history do improve our daily life. Rather, I hold the opinion that studying history has many significant functions to us not only the daily life but also the development of whole country. My view will be greatly strengthened by the following discussion.

To begin with, learning from history could guide us to the right way avoiding making mistakes. The society has been greatly changed due to the development of science and technology. We may find immutable differences between today’s lives and the past ones. But there do exist many valuable things in the history which are so closely related to our daily life. And we can easily apply the approaches or methods based on the past experience to cope with the similar problems we have encountered today. For example, now more and more successful leaders in companies, educations, militaries have realized the advantages of past management. And they adopted the same way to control their organizations and received unbelievable rewards. Another telling example is about the medical area, a growing number of experts and professional researchers are learning the mystery function of the methods of the ancient China’s medicine. The application of the old methods has improved the progress in curing many complex diseases.

However, studying history involves the some important areas such as minds, and cultures are also treasures for human beings. On the one hand, there are various cherish philosophy minds and knowledge in our history. Though we hardly find any direct field in which we can apply the minds of philosophy, it is very important to study the knowledge in these areas. Because the study of philosophy and other minds’ disciplines can cultivate our emotions, influence the way of thinking and eventually correct our behaviors. On the other hand, there are a great number of records in history from which we can learn our customs, beliefs and conventions. All of these are crucial to keep the traditions, every country’s distinct character. Although these knowledge or information have little to do with today’s matters or they are impossible to have a good way to solve the pressing problem that bother us for a long time, no one can deny the insignificance of studying the records.

Moreover, the value of the studying history should not be constrained merely in such a narrow way only to the relevant daily life but the development of country. Karl Marx’s works are the treasure of the revolutionary peoples bringing us the theory of revolution to build a socialist society, which is the foundation stones that result in the victory of October Revolution in former Soviet Union. It was the time, this victory, that Chinese people saw the promising future of our own revolution. We learned the experience—the theory of revolution with some modification according to the situation of our own— from former Soviet Union to direct our revolution, and finally threw off the burden of “three big mountains” (imperialism, feudalism and bureaucrat-capitalism). Ironically, the Soviet Union collapsed in1991 as there were many complicated problems in their political systems. The Chinese government also learned the lesson from Soviet Union’s failure and put forward taking the socialist road with Chinese characteristics. Now for years, China holds the world's attention with the rapid progress that transformed a global financial center, which can be clearly seen form recently events, such as successfully hosting 2008 Olympic Games in Beijing, effectively handling the worldwide finical crisis in 2009, and the ongoing 2010 World Expo in Shanghai. It is obviously that studying history benefits country, and eventually improves the daily life of our own.

To sum up, basing my conclusion on the illustrations and exposition mentioned above, accordingly, I agree that learning history plays an important role to improve our daily life. Rather, in my opinion, the value of the studying history should not be constrained merely in such a narrow way only to the relevant daily life but the development of country. Either way directly relevant the daily life or not can benefits the individuals eventually.

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Revised By nanfeng25899

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1。红色，表示“错误”
2。洋红，表示“用法欠妥当”
3。蓝色，是我的批注
4。绿色，表示“很精彩的文字”

The issue of whether study of history has value only to the extent that it is relevant to our daily lives is a complex and controversial one. Different people hold different opinions due to their respective ways of looking at an issue. In my point of view, however, 【用even if，否则两个句子没有连词】I agree that learning history do improve our daily life. Rather, I hold the opinion that studying history has many significant functions to us not only the daily life but also the development of whole country【function感觉用的不是很好；后面的不定式没有动词;应该是for us】. My view will be greatly strengthened by the following discussion.

【第一段整体的逻辑结构还是比较清晰地，就是有些错误】

To begin with, learning from history could guide us to the right way avoiding【直接用avoid】 making mistakes. The society has been greatly changed due to the development of science and technology. We may find immutable differences【不变的不同?】 between today’s lives and the past ones.【today and past就可以了】 But there do exist many valuable things in the history which are so closely related to our daily life. And we can easily apply the approaches or methods based on the past experience to cope with the similar problems we have encountered today. For example, now more and more successful leaders in companies, educations【？你能这样说，改成educational constitutions】, militaries【前面加and】 have realized the advantages of past management. And they adopted the same way to control【supervise好一点】 their organizations and received unbelievable rewards. Another telling example is about the medical area, a growing number of experts and professional researchers are learning the mystery【这是名词。改成mysterious】 function of the methods of the ancient China’s medicine. The application of the old methods has improved the progress in curing【on the treatment】 many complex diseases.

【感觉例子有点勉强，叙述的不是很深入；简单比较多；存在一些语法错误】

However, studying history involves the some important areas【感觉上有点别扭，the value of studying history is still lies in other aspects】 such as minds【意识形态不是这么说吧。。。】, and cultures are also treasures for human beings【such as后面接单词或词组】. On the one hand, there are various cherish【。。。动词】philosophy minds【？】 and knowledge in our history. Though we hardly find any direct field in【to】 which we can apply the minds of philosophy, it is very important to study the knowledge in these areas. Because the study of philosophy and other minds’ disciplines can cultivate our emotions, influence the way of thinking and eventually correct our behaviors. On the other hand, there are a great number of records【events或者stories】 in history from which we can learn our customs【风俗不可数】, beliefs and conventions【和前面重复了】. All of these are crucial to keep【pass down更好点】 the traditions【不可数】, every country’s distinct character【没有连词而且特别别扭。改成and the stories of the distinguish figures in the history】. Although these knowledge or information have little to do with today’s matters or they are impossible to have a good way【有点怪…改成not conducive】 to solve the pressing problem【problems】 that bother us for a long time, no one can deny the insignificance of studying the records.

【句子很中国化；没有具体的例子支持，论证显得没有说服力；存在一些语法问题】

Moreover, the value of the studying history should not be constrained merely【和后面重复】 in such a narrow way only to the relevant daily life but the development of country.【意思是不要局限A而要局限B，意思表述有误】 Karl Marx’s works are the treasure of the revolutionary peoples【？】 bringing us the theory of revolution to build a socialist society【有点晦涩】, which is【are】 the foundation stones that result in the victory of October Revolution in former Soviet Union. It was the time, this victory, that Chinese people saw the promising future of our own revolution.【费解、、、】 We learned the experience—the theory of revolution with some modification according to the situation of our own— from former Soviet Union to direct our revolution, and finally threw off the burden of “three big mountains” (imperialism, feudalism and bureaucrat-capitalism). Ironically, the Soviet Union collapsed in1991 as there were many complicated problems in their political systems. The Chinese government also learned the lesson from Soviet Union’s failure and put forward taking the socialist road with Chinese characteristics. Now for years, China holds the world's attention with the rapid progress that transformed a global financial center【定从的先行词是哪个？？】, which can be clearly seen form recently events, such as successfully hosting 2008 Olympic Games in Beijing, effectively handling the worldwide finical crisis in 2009, and the ongoing 2010 World Expo in Shanghai. It is obviously【obvious】
that studying history benefits country, and eventually improves the daily life of our own.

【个人感觉这段的论述比较纠结。例子不是很合适。。。还有一些语法错误】

To sum up, basing my conclusion on the illustrations and exposition mentioned above, accordingly, I agree that learning history plays an important role to improve【on improving】 our daily life. Rather, in my opinion, the value of the studying history should not be constrained merely in such a narrow way only to the relevant daily life but the development of country.【同上】 Either way directly relevant the daily life or not【用的不太对，不知道你想表述什么】
can benefits the individuals eventually.


综合评价：
1 逻辑结构感觉不太对，不知道是什么逻辑
2 语言方面，表述意思上不太准确，表达比较晦涩，不是很通畅
3 语法方面，错误比较多
4 例子分析的不是深入，其实不用多举例子，分析清楚即可

shevavaUID: 2574709

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To state that the study of history has value only to the extent that it is relevant to our daily lives is to ignore the value that history has beyond the day-to-day activities of human beings. It seems to me that we have gained and will still gain a lot of useful hints from history, whether it is relevant to our daily lives or not.

First of all, to study history is to look at a road map of human beings that has lead us to where we are and provides us with a clear direction as to where we want to go. One needn't go further than the two world wars for example; during the wars, thousands of millions of people was killed and maimed. When the war ended people are left in hunger and poverty. We don't want the tragedy to happen again, so we have to take actions, we had established the United Nations as means of maintaining a new world order, to help solve such pressing social problems as hunger, poverty and pollution. We have a new way of educating our children, we want to inculcate in them a sense of respect for each other, an emotion of loving peace, which is won at the cost of millions of innocent people's lives and deserves to be cherished. The study of wars, how they began, how they influent the world and the like may not relevant to our daily lives, however, they still do a great bless to our society and our future.

Additionally, what we learn from the study of history has and will still help us constructing a better society. It might be compelling to think that the study of ancient civilization and the study of ancient philosophy's ideas are useless because they are irrelevant to our daily lives. However, these studies lies right at the base of our modern society, the principles of liberty, humanity and equity still serve as the foundation stone of the democratic society of the western world. The ancient China's Confucians ideal, which emphasizes education and family, striving people to work hard, to pay the debts they owe their parents. Mencius, a contemporary of Confucius, and one of China's greatest philosophy in our ancient times, proposed that the common people is more important than the country, which in turn is more important than the emperor. His theory provides an important dictation about how we Chinese should do toward constructing a more democratic society.

In sum, the function of history is not to denote what we should do or not do in our daily lives; rather, it serves as the main principle of how we should live. It also serves as an important incentive on our way to strive for a prosperous and more democratic society. Moreover, as a caveat to all the people in the world, history informs the danger of wars and genocides thus makes people more likely to cherish the peaceful society we are now living in, which in turn will help us establishing a harmonious society.
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Revised By FINN
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语法问题 批注 精彩表达

To state that the study of history has value only to the extent that it is relevant to our daily lives is to (删 ignore后加s) ignore the value that history has beyond the day-to-day activities of human beings. It seems to me that we have gained and will still gain a lot of useful hints
from history (we benefit from history neither at present, nor in the next future no matter), whether it is relevant to our daily lives or not.


First of all, to study history is to look (like looking back the road map…) at a road map of human beings that has lead us to where we are and provides us with a clear direction as to (as to是什么搭配？) where we want to go. One needn't go further than the two world wars for example(不太明白句子的结构和意思？); during the wars, thousands of millions of people was (were) killed and maimed. When the war ended people are left in hunger and poverty. We don't want the tragedy to happen again, so we have to take actions,(意思到这就结束了吧？句号？) we had established the United Nations as means of maintaining a new world order, to help solve such pressing social problems as hunger, poverty and pollution. We have a new way of educating our children, (两个句子间没有连词？要是并列句用分号吧) we want to inculcate in them a sense of respect for each other, an emotion of loving peace, which(修饰什么？) is won at the cost of millions of innocent people's lives and deserves (主语是emotion of loving peace？) to be cherished. The study of wars, how they began, how they influent the world and the like may not relevant to our daily lives, however, they still do a great bless to our society and our future.

Additionally, what we learn from the study of history has and will still help us constructing a better society. It might be compelling to think that the study of ancient civilization and the study of ancient philosophy's ideas are useless because they are irrelevant to our daily lives. However, these studies lies (主谓一致)
right at the base of our modern society, (前后这两个半句有什么逻辑关系吗？) the principles of liberty, humanity and equity still serve as the foundation stone of the democratic society of the western world. The ancient China's (是这么表达的吗？Chinese?) Confucians ideal, which emphasizes education and family, striving people to work hard, to pay the debts (偿还债？还是想说孝敬父母？？) they owe their parents(The ancient.., which…, striving… 句子真正的谓语在哪里？). Mencius, a contemporary of Confucius, and one of China's (Chinese？) greatest philosophy in our ancient times, proposed that the common people is more important than the country, which in turn is more important than the emperor (which后面怎么理解 语法结构？). His theory provides an important dictation (翻译成什么意思？) about how we Chinese should do toward constructing a more democratic society.

In sum, the function of history is not to denote (?) what we should do or not do in our daily lives; rather, it serves as the main principle of how we should live. It also serves as an important incentive on our way to strive for a prosperous and more democratic society. Moreover, as a caveat to all the people in the world, history informs the danger of wars and genocides (告诉我们曾今发生的。。。) thus makes people more likely to cherish the peaceful society we are now living in, which in turn will help us establishing a harmonious society.

小结：1、语法上还存在错误
2、主体一二两段逻辑上有相互重叠的地方

有改的不对的或有争议的地方Q上讨论~

nanfeng25899UID: 2629871

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1 通过研究和生活相关的历史，我们可以学习历史人物身上的品质，从而用他们更好的指导生活
2 即使有些历史和生活无关，他们有助于增加人民的归属感，加强爱国教育
3 进一步来说，有些大多数人生活无关的历史可以促进人们对人类发展的理解，比如宇宙史

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Is only the history relevant to our life worthy studying for us? Undoubtedly, the practical value, which can be used to guide our life, of the history is indeed one reason that so many people are fascinated with it, but its worth is definitely more than that. Through history, we can have a full knowledge of our nation and even promote the understanding of human beings.

Firstly, the majority of the distinguish figures in the history does not arrive at their "destination" as easily as we are expected. Just because of this, by studying their biographies, we can absorb their experience and learn how to deal with the dilemma in our daily life. Take Abraham Lincoln for a proper example. Although most know that he is one of the greatest presidents in the American history, not so much people have the idea of his plaintiffs on the way the ultimate success. In 1832, he lost his job, so at the same year he decided to become a politician, which finally failed and hit him a lot. Then he turned to the business, but in the end his company bankrupted with huge debts which he took 17 years to pay off. In 1835, just a few days before his wedding, his fiancé passed away. After that, he ran for the office for many years, at last, through 11 times failure, he made it. In his process of reaching the goal, he struggled and never gave up when facing the difficulties. Through his instance, we can learn the way to cope with the plaintiffs encountered in our life. Therefore, for countless people, the stories of those excellent characters have become the GPS for our life.

However, even if the practical application of the history in our life is very crucial, we can not inform that learning the history that has nothing to do with our life is useless. For example, by digging into our national history, the sense of the belonging can be strengthened. American is one of the youngest nations in the world, with just more than two hundred years history, but it is also one of the most successful nations of using the history to foster the patriotism. If you are walking in the streets of Boston, one of the oldest cities in America, you may feel the historical atmosphere pervaded everyewhere in this city, thus educating the public about the origin of this young but great nation. What is more, another place I have to mention is the National Constitution Center which is the only museum in the honor of the law. Unlike the Boston having the reminders of the history, the most advanced is use to reconstruct many significant moments in the United States, a more effective way to spread the national values and beliefs. To be honest, the histories introduced in this both places are not really related with our life, but they drive home the understanding of our homelands by telling our national stories.

Furthermore, many histories may be seems to be far away from our life, nevertheless, it can deepen our comprehension of ourselves in the spiritual aspects. For example, the history of the cosmos, which is no connection with the life of most people--perhaps 99% of the human beings, is actually conducive to answer the most profound question perplexing individuals---why do we exist? Who we are? By learning the history such as the Big Bang Theory, we realize that we are just a tiny part of the cosmos and barely the production of "coincidences". In this way, we can know ourselves clearly and understand that we are not more superior to other species.

To sum up, although the history relevant to our life have practical worth, we are not ought to neglect histories values in other ways. And, after all, those aspects such as the understanding of our nation and even ourselves seems to more valuable than the application of the histories' stories.

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Revised By FINN

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语法问题 批注 精彩表达

Is only the history relevant to our life worthy studying for us (for as 删)? Undoubtedly, the practical value, which can be used to guide our life, of the history is indeed one reason that so many people are fascinated with it, but its worth is definitely more than that. Through history, we can have a full knowledge of our nation and even promote (这个词的表达有没有问题呢？) the understanding of human beings.

Firstly, the majority of the distinguish figures in the history does not arrive at their "destination" as easily as we are expected. Just because of this, by studying their biographies, we can absorb their experience and learn how to deal with the dilemma in our daily life. Take Abraham Lincoln for a proper example. Although most (people可以省略掉？) know that he is one of the greatest presidents in the American history, not so much (many?) people have the idea of his plaintiffs (这个词在这是什么意思？) on the way the ultimate success. In 1832, he lost his job, (失去工作和做政客有因果关系吗？so不合适吧) so at the same year he decided to become a politician, which finally failed and(这里and跟什么并列？是失败打击了他？还是决定做一名政客打击了他？) hit him a lot (是这么表达吗？has been hard on him/ great blow to him/ a great shock to him). Then he turned to the business, but in the end his company bankrupted with huge debts which he took 17 years to pay off. In 1835, just a few days before his wedding, his fiancé passed away. After that, he ran for the office for many years, at last, through 11 times failure, he made it. In his process of reaching the goal, he struggled and never gave up when facing the difficulties. Through his instance, we can learn the way to cope with the plaintiffs encountered in our life. Therefore, for countless people, the stories of those excellent characters have become the GPS (GPS是定位器还不能说是引导器你想用哪种意思呢？另外这么说是不是一般要加引号比较保险？) for our life.

However, even if (不合适 although) the practical application of the history in our life is very crucial, we can not (cannot) inform that learning the history that has nothing to do with our life is useless. For example, by digging into our national history, the sense of the belonging can be strengthened. American is one of the youngest nations in the world, with just more than two hundred years history, but it is also one of the most successful nations of using the history to foster the patriotism. If you are walking in the streets of Boston, one of the oldest cities in America, you may feel the historical atmosphere pervaded everyewhere (everywhere) in this city, thus educating the public about the origin (教育公众美国的起源？) of this young but great nation.(只是描述了现象，但为没有分析清楚为什么他能patriotism 例子没有很好地支撑论点) What is more, another place I have to mention is the National Constitution Center which is the only museum in the honor of the law. Unlike the Boston having the reminders of the history, the most advanced is use to reconstruct many significant moments in the United States, a more effective way to spread the national values and beliefs.
(这个例子好像点出了与论点的关系，但为什么说这样一个法律博物馆就就会有这么大的影响力呢应该稍微分析下原因) To be honest, the histories introduced in this both places are not really related with our life, but they drive home the understanding of our homelands by telling our national stories.
(这一段的例子我觉得一个就好了，要分析清楚，而不是光说有这么个事情。这样做的意义是什么？为什么这样可以使人们patriotism？可以站在国家的角度来说)

Furthermore, many histories may be seems to be far away from our life, nevertheless, it can deepen our comprehension of ourselves in the spiritual aspects. For example, the history of the cosmos, which is no connection with the life of most people--perhaps 99% of the human beings, is actually conducive to answer the most profound question perplexing individuals---why do we exist? Who we are? By learning the history such as the Big Bang Theory, we realize that we are just a tiny part of the cosmos and barely the production of "coincidences". In this way, we can know ourselves clearly and understand that we are not more superior to other species.
(把科学的东西放在历史中来说事可以的
但感觉你选的角度不是很好 我觉得应该是一个科学家总结前人的研究成果。。。最后总结出了什。。。比如 牛顿说过他是站在巨人的肩膀上。。。这里的巨人就是前人=历史 我感觉这个例子可能更好些 虽然我没有写 呵呵 而你这个例子只是让人感觉Big Bang Theory就突然产生了以你这些观点应该举一些比如文化和宗教什么的
另外 我感觉从历史中学到的科学虽然想你举出的例子表面看没有对日常生活有影响 但实际上科技带来的发展最终会影响到人类的日常生活 哲学上这是辩证统一的 那我觉得是不是可以在daily life 前自己加一个修饰directly/indirectly？我的文中有这些观点但可能表达的不好 呵呵)

To sum up, although the history relevant to our life have practical worth, we are not ought to neglect histories values in other ways. And, after all, those aspects such as the understanding of our nation and even ourselves seems to more valuable than the application of the histories' stories.

小结：1、文章流畅，语法错误较少
       2、加强例证对观点的支撑，对例子进行进一步深入的分析

hebillUID: 2532108

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Issue051

"Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs

and interests of each student."

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kingwyf87UID: 2457409

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The issue of whether to meet the individual needs and interests of each student can maximize the effective of education. Different people hold different opinions due to their respective ways of looking at an issue. In my point of view, however, I agree that specifically designed to meet individual needs and interests of every student should make our education more efficient. Rather, I hold the opinion that education can be effective when it involves both suitable popularized and individualized programs, but we cannot and not necessary to meet everyone’s needs. My view will be greatly strengthened by the following discussion.

To begin with, people would benefits more if education pays much attention to meet the need of individual. The aim of education is to make people become responsible, thoughtful and enterprising citizens. We all have the equal right of education, but we may get dissimilar one when we go to different schools in which the scopes of education concerns are different. For example, education in the top schools with fined reputations always put the benefit of the students into the first place when they making the programs for them. For the students with major of science, the schools also provides courses such as history, art, sociology in light of giving a wider range of knowledge, and vice versa for the students with major of liberal arts. Plus, these schools also concern about the social skills of their students. They organize different kinds of social activities, encourage students to join their favorite communities, and require them to do the volunteer jobs in their free time, which bring full play of students’ potential ability. Compared with these top schools, some bad schools care about their own business instead of their students. Students in such schools cannot obtain a good education as they get little attention from schools, and even worse they can hardly find a job after graduation.

However, too much care of individuals may be impossible. For one thing, the society may not be able to afford the money spent on satisfying ones’ need in education. The resources, such as teachers and institutions, are limited. For another, the students will lose the ability to learn how to choose the major he/she really wants to study and to independently arrange ones’ study, not easily given by others. Only when a person who is in the face of frustrations and failures can know well that how to effective study and what is the truly useful knowledge for them. They have to overcome dilemma and create new opportunities for their own better education. In addition, the individuals’ need may be right, but only in his/her own point of view, and the truth is usually on the contrary. As Murphy's Law tells us, people cannot make the most benefit decision for themselves, so does the decision of better education. Individuals may not figure out what they really need and whether it is right. For example, students often dislike learning math which is hard to understand, but it is a powerful tool for their future work and they must learn it well.

In the final analysis, education, specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student in an appropriate way. With development of society, nowadays people more and more concern with individualized education. Every person is unique. The differences between people may vary sharply: Some people have a high intelligence and learn something quickly; some people have a poor memory and comprehension; some people have congenital disease or unfortunately disabled; some people are born to be artist or athletes. Therefore, it is beneficial to specifically design to meet individual needs in our educational mechanism. We build genius schools for the high intelligence, found popularized schools for the public, create especial schools for the disabled, establish and specialized school for the gifted. Only in that way, would students in the school learn much and would the education in society be efficiency.

To sum up, basing my conclusion on the illustrations and exposition mentioned above, accordingly, I agree that people would benefits more if education pays much attention to meet the need of individual. Rather, I hold the opinion that we should care about ones’ need but not pay too much attention on trying to meet everybody. Education should be specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student in an appropriate way.

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