开个改作文的小铺子

iToldUsoUID: 2929900

新上任。赶上年底大忙，顾不上组织太大型太细致的活动了。就先开个小铺子吧
一天改一篇作文，issue跟argument隔天改

暂定为先到先得的规则吧

随后慢慢update更详细的规则

416171205UID: 2946287

新手，望狠拍，谢谢！

TOPIC: ISSUE142 - "The well-being of a society is enhanced when many of its people question authority."
WORDS: 549          TIME: 01:23:23          DATE: 2010/12/1 16:41:40

How to deal with authority is a complex question. On the one side, some argue that what the authority said signifies the truth that we must uphold; On the other side, questioning authority is regard as a kind of creativity and innovation. From my view, barely we can image that all people think and behave in the same way as what authority do. At the same time, it's a little bit crazy that all the truth that we have known are questioned and criticized. Therefore, only in a certain extent is the well-being enhanced when people question authority.
Considering the realm of politics in democratic society, though populaces are often disadvantage at the aspect of getting information compared with politicians, they still have rights to question what those politicians do and what purpose they aim at, which, in fact, have effect on government to serve to people effectively and practically. For instance, as involved in the Watergate affair, the President Nixon has become the first resigned president in American history. In the course of the scandal, the news reporters and populaces all showed concerns on the truth and question authority. There is no doubt that it helped to tight the strict of the White House and would have good impact on well-being of a society. Another example is the point that when Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome (SARS) took place in Beijing, the capital of P. R. China, the Health Ministry officers concealed the mishap and was not questioned by the populaces, but eventually, large amount of casualties resulted in hurt to well-beings of the society and lack of beliefs to the government.
In academic realm, nothing cannot be questioned for the purpose of seeking for the truth. Paragon such as Galileo comes to mind immediately. Before he was born, it's truth that all stars, including the Sun, turned around the Earth, which was regard as the center of the universe. Nevertheless, after scientific observation and research, Galileo pose a view that the Sun was turned around by all other stars including the Earth, which changed people's life and undermined the underpinnings of the clergy. A professor who taught Psychology told us, questioning authority and rethinking the principles is the most effective impulsive force of development of science. History informs us that, as a matter of fact, the truth hundreds years ago may be an absurd statement today, while the truth today may be just a mistake hundreds years or even several years later.
However, the behavior of questioning authority should be reasonable and legal. Actually, many things may be cogent enough that we have no need to query. For example, water can extinguish fire. You can, of course, do some researches or experiments to test it but when your bed are on fire, you'd better quench it by water immediately. What's more, that we always do not believe what the politicians and government say maybe cause a tense relationship between citizenry and government, which would harm the well-being of society in the long run.
In sum, to enhance well-being of a society, people should be undaunted to questioned authority in a certain extent reasonably and legally. In contrast, the authorities, including government, scientists and experts in many fields, should be encouraged to answer to any query face to face.

sonicjamUID: 2507839

nice~!

lian_zhuxiUID: 2151209

关注

dumplingplusUID: 2762716

ARGUMENT166 The following appeared in a local newspaper.
"People should not be misled by the advertising competition between Coldex and Cold-Away, both popular over-the-counter cold medications that anyone can purchase without a doctor's prescription. Each brand is accusing the other of causing some well-known, unwanted side effect: Coldex is known to contribute to existing high blood pressure and Cold-Away is known to cause drowsiness. But the choice should be clear for most health-conscious people: Cold-Away has been on the market for much longer and is used by more hospitals than is Coldex. Clearly, Cold-Away is more effective."

In the argument, the author concludes that Cold-Away is more effective than Coldex. The recommendation is based on the observation that Cold-Away appears on the market much longer and is used by more hospitals. A careful examination will reveal that the conclusion has suffered several fallacies.

To begin with, the author says that Cold-Away has been on the market for much longer, which cannot substantiate that Cold-Away is much better than Coldex. Much long time doesn't mean better effect for curing people. And existent time is not the indicator for evaluating a drug's effectiveness. It is probably that Coldex is an advanced drug which has been invented recently, and can deal with the disadvantages of Cold-Away. Experts may have integrated new technical achievements into Coldex to get a better curing result. So we can't arbitrarily judge which is better only by the using time.

In addition, we can't evaluate the performance of a drug according to the much more use by hospitals. Probably, Cold-Away is good at curing common patients, but Coldex is only helpful for unusual disease. Therefore, many hospitals have bought Cold-Away for numerous requirements. Yet, we can't ignore some commercial causes. For instance, Cold-Away is produced by famous company which has established a good relationship with most hospitals, or under the effect of the government, many hospitals have been required to buy Cold-Away by force. Of course, it is much possible that the company which produces Cold-Away has run for many years and has built a good figure on the market; most hospitals prefer to believe in them. But all of these can't convince Cold-Away's effectiveness as no experts have investigated the real situation for curing patients.

Lastly, it is mentioned in the argument that each brand is accusing the other of causing some side effect. Compared with drowsiness, high blood pressure seems more serious, so people prefer to accept Cold-Away which has a slight side effect. But we have to understand that no evidence has been provided to prove the existence of the two side effects. It is highly possible that the two companies have make rumors in order to decrease each other's sales. The side effect of drowsiness probably doesn't exist in Coldex. Therefore we cannot be confused by the so called side effect.

In conclusion, to strengthen it, the argument's proponent must consider and eliminate some explanations that Coldex is probably a new medicine with advanced technique, and that hospitals may not buy medicine according to its effectiveness. And existence of the side effects also should be investigated. Without ruling out these, the author can't conclude that Cold-Away is more effective.

iToldUsoUID: 2929900

新手，望狠拍，谢谢！

TOPIC: ISSUE142 - "The well-being of a society is enhanced when many of its people question authority."
WORDS: 549          TIME: 01:23:23          DATE: 2010/12/1 16:41:40

...
416171205 发表于 2010-12-12 12:54

mark. 晚上回来改这篇作为开张

weaselUID: 2739489

支持loli姐~

布丁的爱恋UID: 2769395

瓦舍~~太有爱啦~~

我也发一篇ISSUE。。慢慢排队。。等着斑竹改~~嘻嘻~谢谢~~
题目：ISSUE208 - "The way people look, dress, and act reveals their attitudes and interests. You can tell much about a society's ideas and values by observing the appearance and behavior of its people."

字数：573                  日期：2010-12-8

I concede insofar that through people's look, dress and act, their attitudes and interests could be reflected. And a society's ideas and values could be demonstrated via the appearance and behavior of its people. However, the speaker has forgotten to take some circumstances into consideration especially when the behavior or dress of people is not in accordance with their internal thoughts.

Admittedly, along with the development and openness of society, the majority of citizens have free choices. The variety of choices is ranging from the style of apparel to the price of it, from colors of cosmetics to the series of it, from what they would like express to what they prefer to behave. When people look at their will, dress at their will and act at their will, no wonder that what they do would reveal their attitudes and interests. The case in point is that we see lots of people wearing jeans and T-shirts on the streets. We may tell primarily that they care for casualness and freedom. Particularly in the case that people wear T-shirts printing characteristics like I love NY, we are able to sense people’s affection towards New York or whatever. In this sense, if people's dress and behavior follow their will, their attitudes and interests could be revealed.

Nevertheless, as I have mentioned in the beginning, what would happen if people's appearance or behavior and people's internal world are distinctive? Can it still reflect a society's ideas and values? I doubt so. Notwithstanding the increasing openness of the society nowadays, it doesn't mean that people can choose freely at any time. It is in some occasions that people need compliance and uniformity, which couldn't directly show their own attitudes and interests. The most common instance is about school uniform. Some schools require students to wear uniforms all day long so as to express discipline of these schools. Once it becomes a regulation to wear school uniform, how could student*hibit their own attitudes via identical clothes? In other words, many students are not voluntary to wear uniforms. What they wear can't directly indicate their inclinations.

Furthermore, both appearance and behavior are external manifestations and as an old saying goes "You can't decide a book by its cover.” So are people. It seems too superficial to tell about a society's ideas and values only through the external things such as appearance and behavior. One of the reasons is that sometimes the appearance and behavior are misleading. People choose what to dress or what to act not only basing on their minds but also something else such as others' perceptions. A psychological concept called conformity means that someone would prefer to act like the majority, resulting form the stress of the group. Supposing that you are surrounded by a crowd in a football match while everyone else stands up and applauds, what would you do? Even unwilling to stand up, you may still follow others' behavior perhaps owning to the fact that you don't want to be strange in a group.  Therefore, when the behavior is misleading, the inner of a society is difficult to be revealed depending on the outward manifestations.

To sum up, I agree that the way people look, dress, and act reveals their prepossessions to some extend, but it is partial to assert that through people's appearance and behavior can we tell much about a society for the reason that the external manifestations sometimes are misleading.

iToldUsoUID: 2929900

mark. 晚上回来改这篇作为开张
iToldUso 发表于 2010-12-12 16:07

汗颜。。今晚有事回家晚了。只好延到明晚再改了...  |||

416171205UID: 2946287

呵呵，斑竹无私奉献，精神可嘉，无比感谢！！！
13# iToldUso

咖啡盐UID: 2973669

LZ大大......我本来是3楼的.....ToT不知为何账号被刷新了貌似.........我重新发一个吧，唉，被打击了.....



Issue:109"The purpose of many advertisements is to make consumers want to buy a product so that they will 'be like' the person in the ad. This practice is effective because it not only sells products but also helps people feel better about themselves."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`着实无奈了的分割线~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Advertising, as a common media approach for sellers to promote their products, has been increasing popular in current society. However, some people claim that advertisements are certainly effective because they make customers feel better about themselves. From my perspective, although advertising has certain position effects in providing consumers with useful information, its negative impacts appear more prominent in misguiding them with fake information.

It is undeniable that the main function of advertising is to provide information for the consumers to choose what really satiate their demands. By this I mean that advertisements actually supply a majority of effective information about things we want. In a comparison between two similar things, advertisements certainly help customers to differentiate them with particulars. For instance, if we want to buy a new washing machine, we will tend to choose the one with a clear direction. Due to the reason that we feel relaxed and reliable by familiar things. These advertising grasped consumers' psychological needs well. Moreover, we can also learn the newest information of daily life from various advertisements.

However, there is much evidence to warrant that advertisements sometimes mislead consumers by offering fake information. Precisely, the most common approach adopt by the advertisers is to exaggerate part of the functions and hide the drawbacks of a product in order to convince the customers that their commodities are some medicine as an illustration, it is usual that these products are advertised so elegantly that many consumers imagine that only by trying them can their problems be solved. If this is the case ,the customers are possible to be cheated because the majority of these products are actually in poor qualities, wasting a large number of money but receiving no effectiveness. For instance, in selling products for losing weight, advertisers are accustomed to employ some shapely models to be prolocutors which may lure the most primal inner eagerness of consumers to “be like” the models they see on the advertisements, but it is universal acknowledge that we, people, can never make this come true.

In addition, it should be noted that many advertisements are detrimental for people’s physical and even psychological health. To more practice, advertisers claim that their products are effective, for the reason that they can help people who buy their merchandises feel better about themselves. On the contrary, these kinds of advertisements are specious. Manufacturers employed some famous person to portray their products in an attractive way. Through this, people are probable to consider that the person who represents for the merchandises has used them already. As the consequence, people may want to emulate or “be like”. For instance, Michael Jackson, a famous cosmopolitan superstar, was disfigured by his cosmetic surgery for several times. To some extent, the temptation from advertisements may be one of the pacing factors. Consequently, he had to endured twinge  from his face or even from his internal spirit. It is an universal phenomena that advertisers never show the flaw of their products to people; instead, the only things we can receive from the advertisements are their advantages.

To sum up, from all the evidence discussed above, it can be concluded that advertising may not be the most effective method for people to accept the brand of a product. Furthermore, it can not make people feel better about themselves like the person in the advertisement.

muzhihao1UID: 2959675

这是修改后的文章，希望能经你的修改让我在思路上有所进步

Arg 51 "Doctorshave long suspected that secondary infections may keep somepatients from healing quickly after severemuscle strain. This hypothesis has now been proved by preliminary results of astudy of two groups of patients. The first group of patients, all being treatedfor muscle injuries by Dr. Newland, a doctor who specializes in sportsmedicine, took antibiotics regularly throughout their treatment. Theirrecuperation time was, on average, 40 percent quicker than typically expected.Patients in the second group, all being treated by Dr. Alton, a generalphysician, were given sugar pills, although the patients believed they weretaking antibiotics. Their average recuperation time was not significantlyreduced.
Therefore,all patients who are diagnosed with muscle strain would be well advised to takeantibiotics as part of their treatment."

Outline：1 不是所有肌肉拉伤都得继发感染

2 作者所引的实验不能用于证明

3 抗生素因为有副作用不适用所有扭伤
In this argument, the arguer advocates that antibiotics should be applied to any patient who is diagnosed with muscle strains. To back up his argument, he cites a hypothesis newly proved by a study that the secondary infection relates to the recovery of muscle strain. Although this argument might seem reasonable at first glance, it is in fact ill-conceived. The reasons are  stated as follows.

In the first place, the arguer assumes that all patients who are diagnosed with muscle strain will catch the secondary infection. Only based on this premise can we accept the advice that the antibiotics are truly needed in the therapy. However, inferring from the suspicion of the doctors, it’s only a part of severely strained patients  have the possibility to be infected. As the commonsense tells us, human beings, unless severely hurt, are invulnerable to the  infection with the protection of the immune system. The arguer's reasoning is definitely flawed unless the arguer can convince me that the incidence of the secondary infection is high enough to pay attention to.

In the second place, the experiment the arguer cites is invalid in demonstrating this suspicion. To be a qualified experiment, the two groups of patients must be sufficient, typical and in similar condition. Without any one of these three elements, the comparison between the two groups of patients sounds imprecise. Furthermore, in order to discover the effect of the antibiotics, the other factors which can affect the result should be the same. In this experiment, the author fails to provide necessary evidences, such as the total number of the patients, the composition of these people, the physical conditions of them and the severity of the injuries, to prove the validity of the experiment. If most patients in one group are old and severely injured and the other young and slightly, can we draw any conclusion from their recuperation time? Even the two doctors are in different specialties, which indicates two kinds of therapeutic methods, both in drugs and physical exercise, resulting in different outcome. All of these factors will sway the credibility of this experiment.

The last but not the least important, even if the evidence turns out to support the foregoing assumptions, the arguer are too hasty to generalize, without taking the side effect of the antibiotics into account. Any usage of the drug should be testified by a series of experiments, considering every possible situation, to have definitely positive effects prevalent against the negative ones. It's rather toxic than beneficial to apply the antibiotics to a slightly injured patient, for the potential occurrence of diarrhea and allergy.

To sum up, the arguer's argument mentioned above is not based on valid experiment or sound reasoning, neither of which is dispensable for a conclusive argument. In order to draw a better conclusion, the arguer should reason more convincingly, search for more properly designed experiments to support his view, and take every possible consideration into account.

谢谢啦=_=

qiu5420UID: 2664440

Issue:210Most people choose a career on the basis of such pragmatic considerations as the needs of the economy, the relative ease of finding a job, and the salary they can expect to make. Hardly anyone is free to choose a career based on his or her natural talents or interest in a particular kind of work  


    Profession chose is always a hot topic. Do consideration rather than natural talents and interests as the author asserts? Though it can’t be denied that many of those are basis on pragmatic considerations, in my opinion, vocation determinations are not only decided by pragmatic consideration.
   First of all, I concede a fairly proportion of job decisions of are base on the pragmatic consideration. What is the pragmatic consideration in the aspect of job choosing? Besides the factors the author mentions, it concludes many other content, for example, cities where companies locates, chances of more promotion opportunities and so forth. As to majority, pragmatic considerations when they choose careers are those people can easily achieve, at lest can achieve, and make them come true. It is absolutely advisable, since the most significant thing for human beings is survival, even in the modern society. Survival is a premise that everyone can’t ignore. In this sense, it is not strange that people tend to choose economics, clinical medicine and law that will allow them to earn more money; nor strange that people take computer, markting and statistics that will promise them to have more job opportunities.  
•          However who can guarantee that most people choose occupations by pragmatic consideration only as the speaker maintains, while so many people are working in the unprofitable areas and trying to be elites with less vocational chances? And who can exclude the inner motions when others only get the results, yet have not known real process of determination? On the one hand, consider real cases, numerous people have worked for their dreams that can be understood as interest or talent. A remarkable example is Van Gogh who devoted his whole life to art, nevertheless sold only one piece of art work in his life time and lived in poverty. In modern society, numerous biologists work in primeval forest, in gobi and in desert. Besides though less work opportunities for lawyers in China, many young men contribute themselves in protecting the justices of law and society. On the other hand, choice is always a complex process through which people compare advantages and disadvantages of multiple options. In fact a decision, especially a job choice, is not as simple and superficial as its look, moreover sometimes the temporary choice is not the final choice. Arnold Schwarzenegger, the governor of California, comes immediately into my mind. He used to be a famous actor, whereas to be a politician is his real interest. In order to make his dream come true, he determined to be an actor for gathering sufficient popularity and approach to politics. In sum the statement that hardly anyone choose professionals according to their nature talent and interest is an over generalization.
In fact, pragmatic and inner motivations, another specific form of realism and idealism, are not mutually exclusive. In my observation they two are unity of opposite which exist objectively and can’t be neglected. To individuals, the best occupation is combining them, that is pursuing a career both interesting and empirical. Combination of art and business is a good example. Every year a lot of fashion brand transfuse art into costume, shoes, jewelry and so forth, and thus make a huge success, for instance, brand such as Prada, Chanel and Gucci. Any one who has fascination and passion in art and wand to put it into pragmatic use can choose those careers.
Above all, vocational options are not decided by one factor. Both empirical and inner determinations are important.
万分感谢

iToldUsoUID: 2929900

新手，望狠拍，谢谢！

TOPIC: ISSUE142 - "The well-being of a society is enhanced when many of its people question authority."
WORDS: 549          TIME: 01:23:23          DATE: 2010/12/1 16:41:40

...
416171205 发表于 2010-12-12 12:54

TOPIC: ISSUE142 - "The well-being of a society is enhanced when many of its people question authority."
WORDS: 549          TIME: 01:23:23          DATE: 2010/12/1 16:41:40

How to deal with authority is a complex 【complicated】question. On the one side, 【要么用on the one side are those who句型；要么就用最简单的On one hand】some argue that what the authority said 【时态要一致。says】signifies 【这里到底想表达啥意思？signify肯定不合适。】the truth that we must uphold; On the other side 【hand】, questioning authority is regard 【regarded 尽量避免这类明显的语法错误。。】as a kind of creativity and innovation 【creative thinking】. From my view, barely 【这是著名的部分倒装指示词啊。。。】we can image 【原意是用imagine???】 that all people 【everybody】think and behave 【相应调整下时态】in the same way as what authority do 【does】. At the same time, it's a little bit crazy that all the truth that we have known are questioned and criticized 【整个句子很不顺。重新修改下】. Therefore, only in 【to】a certain extent is the well-being enhanced when people question authority. 【阐明自己立场这几句，逻辑过于拖泥带水, 且用语chinglish。平衡观点不等于模棱两可。自己再改改吧。】

Considering the realm of politics in democratic society, though 【the】populaces 【populace本身就是个表达复数含义的词】are often disadvantage 【这里想表达什么意思？】at the aspect of getting information compared with politicians, they still have rights to question what those politicians do and what purpose they aim at 【purpose跟aim at不要重复使用】, which, in fact, have effect on government to serve to people 【病句。想表达的是“有助于政府更有效地服务民众”的意思吧？are benificial for the government to better serve the public.】effectively and practically. For instance, as involved in the Watergate affair, the President Nixon has 【had】become the first resigned president in American history. In the course of the scandal, the news reporters and populaces all showed concerns on the truth and question 【ed】authority. There is no doubt that it helped to tight the strict 【想表达什么意思？】of the White House and would have good impact on well-being of a society. Another example is the point 【啥意思？】that when Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome (SARS) took place in Beijing, the capital of P. R. China, the Health Ministry officers concealed the mishap and was not questioned by the populaces 【举的这个authority没有被question的例子比较牵强】, but 【前后句并不能构成强转折】eventually, large amount of casualties resulted in hurt to well-beings of the society and lack of beliefs to the government.

In academic realm, nothing cannot be questioned for the purpose of seeking for the truth. Paragon such as Galileo comes to mind immediately. Before he was born, it's truth 【it was believed】that all stars, including the Sun, turned around the Earth, which was regard 【ed】as the center of the universe. Nevertheless, after scientific observation and research, Galileo pose 【可以说pose a challenge to the previous view, 你这句里最好把pose换成 advanced】 a view 【viewpoint】that the Sun was turned around by all other stars including the Earth, which changed people's life and undermined the underpinnings of the clergy.【前后句什么关系？逻辑断掉了。】 A professor who taught Psychology told us, questioning authority and rethinking the principles is the most effective impulsive force of development of science. History informs us that, as a matter of fact, the truth hundreds years ago may be an absurd statement today, while the truth today may be just a mistake hundreds years or even several years later.

However, the behavior of questioning authority should be reasonable and legal . Actually, many things may be cogent enough that we have no need to query 【整句需要修改】. For example, water can extinguish fire. You can, of course, do some researches or experiments to test it but when your bed are on fire, you'd better quench it by water immediately. 【这个例子很突兀】What's more, that we always do not believe what the politicians and government say maybe cause a tense relationship between citizenry and government, which would harm the well-being of society in the long run. 【这个例子太良民思维了。。。。。。。。。。。。】

In sum, to enhance 【the】well-being of a society, people should be undaunted to questioned authority 【in a certain extent】（多余） reasonably and legally. In contrast, the authorities, including government, scientists and experts in many fields, should be encouraged to answer to any query 【复数形式】face to face.

总的来说，这篇issue逻辑不够明晰，举例偏颇的多切题的少。需要大修。