开个改作文的小铺子

咖啡盐UID: 2973669

59# iToldUso
感激涕零哪~~修改修改~~~

请LZ继续，尽情，狠狠拍我........

Issue:109"The purpose of many advertisements is to make consumers want to buy a product so that they will 'be like' the person in the ad. This practice is effective because it not only sells products but also helps people feel better about themselves."


Advertising, as a common channel for sellers to promote their products, has been increasing popular in current society. Some people claim that advertisements are certainly effective because they make customers feel better about themselves. From my perspective, although advertising has certain positive effects in providing consumers with useful information and an eagerness to emulate the person’s life style in the ad, its negative impacts appear more prominent in misguiding them with fake information which will be no use to “be like” but a waste of time, or even detrimental for people’s psychological or even physical health.

It is undeniable that the main function of advertising is to provide information for the consumers to choose what really satiate their demands. By this I mean that advertisements actually supply a majority of effective information about things we want. Consider, for instance, the increasing focus on image is evident in the book-publishing business. Publishers are relying more and more on the power of their brands rather than the content of their books. Today mass-market books are supplanted within a year with products that are essentially the same—except with fresh faces, titles, and other promotional angles. I find quite telling the fact that today more and more book publishers are being acquired by large media companies.

However, there is much evidence to warrant that advertisements sometimes mislead consumers by offering fake information. Precisely, the most common approach adopt by the advertisers is to exaggerate part of the functions and hide the drawbacks of a product in order to convince the customers that their commodities are some medicine as an illustration, it is usual that these products are advertised so elegantly that many consumers imagine that only by trying them can their problems be solved. If this is the case, the customers are possible to be cheated because the majority of these products are actually in poor qualities, wasting a large number of money but receiving no effectiveness. For instance, in selling products for losing weight, advertisers are accustomed to employ some shapely models to be prolocutors which may lure the most primal inner eagerness of consumers to “be like” the models they see on the advertisements, but it is universal acknowledge that we, people, can never make this come true.

In addition, it should be noted that many advertisements are detrimental for people’s physical and even psychological health. To more practice, Manufacturers employed some famous person to portray their products in an attractive way to make people believe that as soon as they do or buy the same things they will gain the tantamount impression as these outstanding people promise on the advertisements. On the contrary, these kinds of advertisements are specious. For example, face-lift surgery, a kind of cosmetic procedure has become popular among women since 20th century for countering signs of aging. Its advertising frequently appears with a beautiful girl full of vitality, which wants customers to believe that only through this will they “be like” the girl they see. To some extent, the surgery can defer people from ageing apparently. But we should not ignore its risk: it is probable to damage human’s facial nerve which can affect a person's ability to raise an eyebrow, or distort the smile. Another fact we should consider is that if all people surround us “be like” the same as we are, will we still feel better about ourselves?

In sum, judging from all the facts mentioned above, it is apparent to conclude that advertising may be the most effective method for people to accept the brand of a product. Nevertheless, in most cases, the products will fail to achieve its function of making most consumers look like the person in the advertisements to feel better about themselves.


.

rainforest12UID: 2960732

208
"The way people look, dress, and act reveals their attitudes and interests. You can tell much about a society's ideas and values by observing the appearance and behavior of its people." observe


Could we get to know about a certain society’s ideas and values by examining the appearance and behavior of its people? The speaker says so, since, in his/ her view, their attitude and preference can be reflected through the way they look, dress, and act. However, in my point of view, what the speaker’s claim is one aspect, one cannot be too careful to take more consideration of other elements.

Admittedly, necessarily through examining the people’s appearance, say, look and dress, and behavior, act, can one tell, to some degree, the society’s ideas and values. After all, it is the only information that we can get when we take a glimpse of others; moreover, every kind of people lives in a certain kind of society. What they act and look reflects the environment/ culture they live. For instance, in Islamic countries, the women wear veils which are viewed as a religious symbol for the purpose of showing honor to an object and space; the actual functions of veils have not been studied extensively but most likely include the maintenance of social distance and the communication of social status and cultural identity. The above example is from the look and dress, and now this one bases on the act and behavior. We often have a general impression of the American people being easy going and casual, while the European people tending to be serious and rigorous. So from the above examples, it is not difficult for one to know a little bit about a certain society’s values and ideas by examining the people’s look, dress and behaviors.

However, as a matter of fact, sometimes, we cannot tell a society’s values and ideas through examining its appearance. Under some circumstance, no matter you like it or not, some careers are required to wear the uniforms, police officers, bankers, for example. What their professions can be showed by the uniforms they wear. By doing this, they give a good discipline and professional impression to the public. Here is another situation. We are not clear that if some ones would conceal their emotion purposely by presenting another look. If you meet a person who wearing an old clothes in Milan, could you think maybe this man is Leonardo da Vinci, the creator of the works "The Final Supple" and "Mona Lisa"? Or if you see an old man play the violin along the road in Vienna, can you believe he is Beethoven, the greatest musician of German, whose works has been considered as the most beautiful music by the latter critics?

Finally, one cannot be too careful to take more elements into consideration when observing a society’s values and ideas, such as the literature, police, science and so forth. Since society is composed of various aspects.

To sum up, to effectively know a society’s value and ideas, one can observe the people’s look, dress, and act, behavior. But this is only one way, there are many others.

咖啡盐UID: 2973669

烦人的我又来了....第一篇argument，感觉思维还是有那么点点乱，劳烦辛勤的loli姐，指点指点。希望不要像Issue一样飘到西伯利亚就好了:L


提纲：
        1. 作者认为最好的方法提升B的经济是仿照D的相关政策。

        2. 两家公司在D落户是因为D降低企业税以及提供相应的福利政策是有争议的，这两家公司也可能是考虑到了D有他们生产所需的原材料，D的环境等其他因素。

        3. 即使两家公司是因为D的政策而来，也不能说明他们为D的经济增长有贡献。文中提到两家公司解决了300人的就业问题，但是并没提到这300人是本地人，他们可能是从外地来工作的；也可能是刚被其他公司解雇的，这种情况下对减少当地失业问题并没有任何效果。同时还要考虑到这18个月中可能有公司搬离D，这样反而失去了更多的就业机会。

       4. 另外在文章逻辑上作者也出现了谬误。D所实行的措施是一年前提出的，现在是否还能起到当初的效果是没有依据的。作者假设的前提是环境没有改变的情况下。有可能现在正在面临经济危机，在这种情况下，再怎么下调税率对于整体的大环境也是于事无补的。另一方面，文中并没有任何资料表明D和B之间存在相似性，D作为B的参照是站不住脚的。

       5. 其他的办法，提升当地的教育水平，改善整体环境，修建利于往来的高速公路等都有可能比作者的假设更加有效果。

Argument 237.The followingappeared as part of an article in a local Beauville newspaper.

"According to a governmentreport, last year the city of Dillton reduced its corporate tax rate by 15 percent; at the same time, it beganoffering relocation grants and favorable rates on city utilities to any companythat would relocate to Dillton. Within 18 months, two manufacturing companiesmoved to Dillton, where they employ a total of 300 people. Therefore, thefastest way for Beauville to stimulate economic development and hence reduceunemployment is to provide tax incentives and other financial inducements thatencourage private companies to *relocate here."

The report presented above which claimed the best way to improve the Beauville ‘s local economy and decrease the unemployment would be to lower its enterprise tax and supply aseries of welfare policies that the city of Dillton did a year ago, seemed persuasive at first glance. Dillton’s incentives included a reduced corporate tax rate, relocation grants and favorable rates on city utilities to attract companies to relocate. The article also pointed out that during the last 18 months, these policies worked well to attract two companies to move in and hence increase local employment. However, the author failed to examine alternative explanations. I will discuss each of these elements in turn.

First of all, the arguer assumed that two manufacturing companies moved to Dillton merely for the reason given above hastily. Nonetheless, there is no clear evidence to support that.These two companies chose to relocate to Dillton would be for other reasons, such as the climate, the resources, or some other factors. Without considering thorough elements in the argument why these two companies was willing to move to Dillton, the assertion that Beauville can also promote its economy by affording similar incentives is unsubstantial.

Even if we accept these assumptions, it is lack of direct evidence to prove that these two companies were beneficial to improve Dillton’s economic development. 300 people were employed by them could not be a persuasive proof. Perhaps these people were not local residents that they came here for job. It was also possible that they were fired by other companies recently. These possibilities played less effecton reducing the local unemployment rate. At the same time, we should also consider that other companies here might move out while these two firms relocatedin, which was not going to help decrease the unemployment rate, but reduce jobopportunities. We can learn little from these two firms’ influence on the local economic development without other details.

Moreover, this article had some logical fallacies. On the one hand, We should notice that the incentives announced in Dillton closely a year ago, How could we know that it will be still effective in the future? The arguer’s conjecture was based on circumstances that would not change. There is a possibility that the economiccrisis might have broken out recently and all the businesses would be decayed. And as a result, no matter how many tax rates deduction that was offered, the economy would not recover under this circumstance. On the other hand, there isno evidence indicating that Dillton and Beauville are similar to each other; contrarily, they are two different cities. So how could we infer that the incentives would not fail for Beauville? The arguer did not do any investigation in Beauville before the assumption.

Finally, why did not consider other options to help Beauville reach their economic purpose? For instance,they could encourage educations among the local residents, construct highways and prettify the surrounding environment of the city, which are maybe faster than the way the author suggested to attract new enterprises to move in.

In conclusion, to convinceme that only the measure given above is the fastest way should Beauville carry out to improve local economy. Clear evidence must be supplied that the implementation of Dillton’s incentives is responsible for the rise in Dillton’s economy and other factors affecting economic development in the two cities are essentially the same. The author should also provide enough investigation about that none of the assumptions will have prominent efficiency except his.

小冥王UID: 2922698

50"In order to improve the quality of instruction at the college and university level, all faculty should be required to spend time working outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses they teach."
——为了更好的教育（有些不用出去也可以）——教授必须强制性出去研究（应该是根据需要）因果关系不成立
1.        有保留的赞同：同意应该根据需要多出去结合实际，但是并不是全部，此外，并不是凡事出去就能够提高他们的教学水平。
2.        根据需要进行课外的教授实践：
有必要出去的，比如说：实践性的学科，考古学家，必须现场去调查
没有必要出去，比如说：纯粹的理论性研究，关于围观物理方面的，仅仅是理论和实验足以
3.        并不是所有的课外实践都能提升教授的教课水平
可以提升的：比如，一个学金融的教授在一个银行任职，可以更好的把握整个国际金融取向，并在教课中应用，让学生与社会更加紧密
不可以提升的：浪费时间，不教受知识，
4.        为了提升教学水平，不一定要教授出去实践，还有很多别的方面，比如
教师与学生多进行交流，对教授进行培训，对授课进行事先评估。硬件设施等
5.        总结，为了提升教学水平不完全靠这个，只能说部分。不是教授都有出去的必要，出去也不一定就能提高教学水平，都需要具体分析学科特点
Do all faculties should be required to spend time working outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses they teach, and whether it would improve the quality of instruction at the college and university level? This claim has considerable merit with respect to some area of practiced subjects—such as archaeology and economics, and the like. However, not all faculties should go outside if they could get nothing with that, besides, it might also bring some bad effects if the professor spend too much time and energy outside.

It is vital to earn more profitable things if spend time outside. Consider, if an archaeologist devotes all of his time in the school and never go outside, query whether he could get some achievements in his small and isolated universe. Because the subject—archaeology—need the archaeologist go outside if he long to get some useful information. For example, when a cemetery of the ancient period was found, archaeologists are required to go there and take research by themselves. What is more, it is popular that a professor of economics of a university served as an adviser in a bank now. The professor could not only make more money by his knowledge but also, the most significant, takes hold of the current trend of the global economic. Thus, with the information he got, a more practical lesson would be given to the students just because the knowledge are connected with practice, students can combine the theories with practice, in other words, the quality of instruction is enhanced.

Nevertheless, not all the faculties should go to work outside, it rely on the inherent nature of the course. When it comes to the Theoretical Physics, in my observation, there is no need to go outside while they could get nothing but waste of time and what they need is learning and working in their labs. They could also make success without doing something out of the campus. One of the most famous scientists—Hawking, a man could only move three fingers, has written the book—“TIME THEROY”—which change the world`s recognize to the cosmos. It illustrate the point that without go outside, you can also make some great achievements. Moreover, some bad effect might be followed by if the professor spends too much on the world of outside, because they do not have enough energy working on their teaching assignment which could decline the level of his teaching. It is common to see in some irresponsible professions` lab while they teach the graduates students nothing; in contrast, command them work for him.

In addition, there is more we can do in order to improve the quality of the instruction, for example, improving the standards of the equipments of the school, estimating the specialty of the professors regularly, organizing a colloquy where students could communicate with their teachers that would help them understand each other better, and so forth. In sum, whether the faculty should go outside to work depend on which field he research, no matter how it is necessary, it is irrational to assert that the quality of introduction would be enhanced while everyone work outside.

小冥王UID: 2922698

冥王loli师姐这种带着中文提纲的方式其实挺适合求批改。。。
lasselore 发表于 2010-12-23 15:40

咋一看。。为嘛我也成loli师姐了。。。有歧义。叫姐就好。。。

zzcloveappleUID: 2693782

loli 姐，我来捧捧场啦，哈哈，也帮我改吧，我弄了几篇来让你辛苦一下！
PS：为什么楼上给出的链接试听不了，也下载不了啊？loli姐！你的歌声......我怎么听不到啊？

130.     Children are kind of morning’s sun,they are full of energy and creativity.In this sense,a better development and a better education of children are key factors of building a better society.It’s no doubt that the destiny of society has important relations with children’s socialization.Nevertheless,it depends more on the children’s capability to reform than to adapt,even to challenge traditions.On the other hand,considering the process of history,we have made an impressive emhancement in the way we raising children to create a superior world.


  Concededly,humans are surrounded by the society they faces and the environment they live that nobody can be unaffected.Hence If children were better socilazed,the society in the future would be more harmonious that they would grow up to be well-behaved citizens and effective leaders,as well as tolerant and respectful members of society.


  However,socilazation is not the key factors influencing children’s contribution to a better society which to a large extent lies in the children’s capability to reform and to challenge the traditions.Imaging that children in the forthcoming society are fully socialized,what they need to do is to follow the society rules and to be methodical so that they get used to complying unjust laws,to accepting banal ideology,or even surrounded by false theory.How could this kind of harmonious society called “better society”?Considering certain persons in history who have contributed profoundly to a better society.Martin Luther King,a German preacher,who trusted the Bible and fighted with the pope,calling for a religious reform to challenge key Catholic ideas which led to the creation of a new branch of Christianity called Protestantism.Michelangelo,an Italian artist,who believed that the naked male figure was the most artistic subject,challenging traditional views of sculptural ideas and objects which resulted in an enormous influence on European artists of his time and on those who came after him.


  In fact,with the development of civilization,we have made enormous progress in raising children to build up a better society.In a long past period of time,nationalism,racism,sexual discrimination,as well as absolutism are everywhere that induced a tough life among people.Luckily,people nowadays are getting much more tolerant of differing viewpoints and those who are different from themselves.Moreover,We are becoming more respectful of the rights of women,paupers,various religious and racial groups.In a recent years,we even have paid more attention to our natural environment and public health by ensuring food and drugs’quality.More and more ample evidence indicates that increasing international cooperation,including economic,political,and public security related organizations,helps constructing a better society.In addition,We continuously fight for unjust laws and hanker after lofty conduct which influenced the way we raise our children who may actually make profound contribution to our wonderful society.In a word,we have tried our best to affect our children by our daily behavior and beliefs that instructs we have learned how to raise children who can better society.


  In sum,when it comes to whether children grow up to contribute a better society,the key determinant is not socialization but rather the abilities to reform and to challenge the traditions.Of course,in our modern educational system,children are also advised to be socialized which could help build up a harmony society.Above all,we have made an impressive enhancement in raising children who could bring us a brilliant blueprint.

zzcloveappleUID: 2693782

继续......

153.Students should bring a certain skepticism to whatever they study. They should question what they are taught instead of accepting it passively.


The accumulation of human’s knowledge and the inheritances of civilization are always a unlimited,as well as circular process of “Acceptance,skepticism and development”.As a result,we could consider skepticism is the beginning of the civilization’s progress.Some people may argue that endless,or exorbitant skepticism of predecessors’ theoretical system may certainly influence offspring’ education,delaying the steps of the civilization’s progress.However,I am still strongly agree with the speaker’s claim.Supposing that if we totally accept what we are taught,even including a lot of wrong theories,how can we expect enhancement?Without doubt,it is skepticism that lead to a way to correct fallacy and explore new theories.


   Skepticism,to some extent,is an inevitable step for correcting fallacy and reserving genuine theories.And history is replete with examples that challenging what they had been taught in books or in schools so that paving the way for scientific progress.For instance,Copernicus doubted the notion that the Earth was in a fixed position at the center of universe which had been taught in schools for 1400 or more years.He looked into the theory carefully and then came up with a different idea which are widely known today as the Sun-centered theory which was verified by Galileo,Kepler,Issac Newton until the early 1700s.Copernicus’s skepticism made him as the founder of modern astronomy.Likewise,Galileo doubted that the ancient Greeks,like Aristotle,were wrong about many ideas which was rarely questioned in the 1500s.He believed that making careful measurements could help people learn accurate facts about physics and astronomy,thereby bringing about a famous experiment that he dropped two objects of different weights at the same time from the Leaning Tower of Pisa and finding that weight made no difference which fought against Aristotle’s point who thought the heavier objects fell faster.Galileo’s skepticism made him lead a modern scientific revolution.


  Skepticism is a basic condition for people to break old theories and explore new ones,to improve old materials and get new inventions.Passive acceptance of prevailing principles did quell innovation,invention,and discovery in history.Famous quantum theory physicist Max Planck had ever put forward a proposal in 1900.However,he then despairingly to declare his proposal due to his worship for what he was taught about Newton’s perfect theory that procrastinated the development of theoretic physics for years.On the contrary,Einstein was skeptical about what he learned from Newton’s classical theory.He took Planck’s proposal seriously and developed it that came up with a new theory called photoelectric effect which broaden people’s horizons of the material       world.Similarly,Watt James,a Scottish inventor,doubted what he had studied about the Newcomen steam engine’s energy efficiency.He realized its enormous losses of energy and finally introduced a variety of modifications to make the engine much more efficient.What Watt did made it practical for large-scale industrial use which led the famous industrial revolution.


  Admittedly,undue skepticism may actually influence the education of the youth.Some people consider that youngsters must develop a foundation of empirical knowledge before they can begin to think critically about what they are studying.Even so,I still support the statement for the reasons above.In fact,I suggest we should establish different standards to distinguish whether to be skeptical about what we are taught.Some knowledge,like basic ethnics or primary knowledge,should not be doubted while theories that haven’t been strictly confirmed should be.Only in this way could we accept our knowledge actively and develop it successfully without any procrastination.


  To sum up,skepticism is the very stuff that progress is made of.There’s no doubt that skepticism surely provide a way to correct fallacy and explore new theories.Thereby,students should be encouraged to question what they are taught except the most basic levels of education.

zzcloveappleUID: 2693782

来篇argument！辛苦了！loli姐！

TOPIC: ARGUMENT55 - The following appeared in a Letter to the Editor of the Shady Village newspaper.

"Commuters are complaining that the rush hour traffic on Blue Highway between Shady Village and Bright City has doubled their commuting time. Some commuters have asked that an additional traffic lane be built, but the recent creation of such a lane on nearby Green Highway apparently attracted more commuters, judging from the fact that rush-hour traffic jams actually increased there this past winter. To reduce rush-hour traffic on Blue Highway, a bicycle lane should be added instead of a traffic lane. This approach will succeed because many citizens of Shady Village are avid bicyclists; 75 percent of respondents to a recent questionnaire distributed there said they would like to bicycle more hours per week than they currently do."

  The author of the letter to the Editor of the Shady Village newspaper recommends that a bicycle lane should be added instead of a traffic lane to reduce rush-hour traffic on Blue Highway(BH).To support this assertion,the author first notes that the creation of a similar traffic lane on nearby Green Highway(GH) increased the rush-hour traffic jams this past winter.And then cited an survey that indicated many citizens of Shady village would like to bicycle more hours per week than they currently do.However,this argument suffers from several flaws,which render it unconvincing as it stands.


  To begin with,this argument assumes that the additional traffic lane “apparently” attracted more commuters due to the mere fact that the increase of rush-hour traffic jams this past winter.Yet,the author provides no evidence,such as datas,surveys,to support his point.Perhaps there were many youngsters who are inexperienced,or elders that are unsafe drivers on GH.Or perhaps the regulations on GH are not strict enough to warn the drivers to keep safe.In either event,the author could not justifiably rely on the mere fact that the increase of rush-hour traffic jams this past winter to support his claim.Even if this assumption above is correct,the author could not came up with another assumption that this situation will stay the same as this past winter.Yet,we are not informed sufficient evidence to support this assumption.It is just likely that this year people there get familiar with GH or local regulations get strict enough so that this situation get quite better.


   Another point worth considering is that the author assumes that what happened on GH will also happen on BH.Although it is entirely possible,the argument provides no evidence to support this assumption.Without any evidence,such as geographic similarities,the author cannot convince me that such a traffic lane will lead to an increase of rush-hour traffic jams.


  Last but not least,based on the survey that 75% of respondents came from Shady Village said they would be like to bicycle more hours per week than they currently do the author infers that an added bicycle lane could reduce rush-hour traffic on BH.However,this is not necessarily the case.It is possible that the respondents prefer riding their bikes in their leisure time rather than the rush-hours.Or they didn’t mean choosing bicycles when they commutes.Or even if they prefer bicycles as their traffic tools,they don’t need to pass the additional bicycle lane to go to work or go home,otherwise it gives them a lot of troubles.If either was the case,the recommendation would be questionable,at best.


  In conclusion,the recommendation that a bicycle lane should be added instead of a traffic lane to reduce rush-hour traffic on BH is not well supported,To strengthen the argument the author should compare the similarities between GH and BH and investigate the real reason for the increase of rush-hour traffic jams this past winter on GH.Moreover,the author should provide data about proportion of the citizens in Shady Village who would like prefer bicycles as their traffic tools if the additional bicycle lane could be built up.

小冥王UID: 2922698

loli姐这两天有事不在 大家耐心等待，圣诞快乐~
lasselore 发表于 2010-12-24 19:04

loli姐V5~

iToldUsoUID: 2929900

loli姐这两天有事不在 大家耐心等待，圣诞快乐~
lasselore 发表于 2010-12-24 19:04

re... 本楼工作严重滞后了。。很抱歉的说。。并且要继续抱歉地跟大家申请延后到新年假休完之后。。因为本人刚做了个小手术，精力有限...然后要回家休几天...

小冥王UID: 2922698

re... 本楼工作严重滞后了。。很抱歉的说。。并且要继续抱歉地跟大家申请延后到新年假休完之后。。因为本人刚做了个小手术，精力有限...然后要回家休几天...
iToldUso 发表于 2010-12-27 21:53

啊~手术。。。休息休息。。。不要辐射

zzcloveappleUID: 2693782

76# iToldUso


loli姐注意休息啊，寄托也让你操劳不少啊......绝对支持你！