开个改作文的小铺子

rainforest12UID: 2960732

请问新年是元旦，还是农历啊？如果是前者的话，都已经过了好久了。。。

咖啡盐UID: 2973669

别人是义务的，又不欠你什么，要求不要太多

快乐小水鱼UID: 2762984

这是我写的Issue130,麻烦楼主帮忙看一下，万分感谢！~~~
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1222652-1-1.html

夏至_初夏UID: 2985232

这是我写的issue136 麻烦楼主看下。。谢谢
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1222627-1-1.html

iToldUsoUID: 2929900

十分惭愧。总算稍稍轻闲了点儿，本周六回家之前可以继续帮大家改作文了。。。

iToldUsoUID: 2929900

130"How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."

According to the speaker`s assertion, I do not agree with the speaker when it comes to the negation of the way in raising children who can help bring out a better society. However, the claim that how children are raised determines the destiny of the society is available to me.【从来没见过这么用available的。。。。。且前面一句的the negation of the way也颇为拗口。此外according to似乎也不大妥当。总之前两句的逻辑关系不大像英语思维】 Actually, in the past thousands years, we have been devoting ourselves to raising children who will do goods for our society. 【这句跟前面俩句啥关系？actually指向what？】

If compare the society is to the human organism or as is the cell to the body. 【语法错误。病句】An example aptly demonstrates that the future of our society depends on the how the children are raised. The mature cells are responsible for the body`s function. Yet after a cycle, the cells would die. So it is important to get some supplement from the new cells.
However, the formation of a new mature cell undergoes a complex progress, such as division and transformation, which could compare to the grown of a child. Then the cells would adapt to function well in the organism gradually. If the organism is short for such new cells with mature function, as everyone knows, the organism becomes weak or even dead eventually. When it comes to society, it will regenerate to the past or undergo a recession in economic. 【这段类比大的思路是OK的，但写的有些乱，不够扣题】

What make children help to prosper the society in the future are complex, yet all of them are contribute to a better society. 【多处语法错误】To prove my assertion, it would be illustrated in two aspects, abundant knowledge and excellent character. As is said by the prominent thinker, Francis Bacon, knowledge is power, have encouraged countless people to pursue the knowledge. General speaking, most of knowledge we acquired come from books, though we can also get it from our daily life. For the purpose to educate the children to love books, the Jewish, one of the most intelligent nations around the world, have an ancient culture, scatter honey on the books, tell the children lick it. Then the children would get the expression that books are sweet when they are too little to understand what books actually mean. As the children grown up, they will gradually recognize the power of knowledge getting from books would produce not only great fortune but also promote the advance of the society. 【你是想表达人类不但知道如何raise children, 而且还做得很成功？比如犹太人这个华丽的成功经验？】

In addition to knowledge, excellent characters also contribute to the development of society. While learning painting at early stage, Leonardo Da Vinci was taught to be dependable by his paint teacher, who demanding him to paint eggs every day. At first, Da Vinci did what the teacher said, yet after a long time, he was sick of it. So he asked the teacher, the teacher told him that there existed no same eggs in the world, so it helped him to find the minimum differences between them. The he has developed a good habit to be serious and assiduous， and eventually become a famous painter in the world.

In sum, we have already learned how to raised children who can help to build better society. Moreover, it is not only mastered by the educationist but also by the common people such as our parents, teachers, even our friends. The more we know about how to raise children, the more better our society will be, because it is well known to all that children are the future and the society`s destiny is determined by the children.

个人认为你这篇有些跑题了。how children are socialized... 题目中的raise children是跟socialization相对应的。你全文对socialization基本没有涉及
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iToldUsoUID: 2929900

177"The study of an academic discipline alters the way we perceive the world. After studying the discipline, we see the same world as before, but with different eyes."

提纲：1 学科是指有独立研究领域，理论体系，方法论，学了之后会对相关领域的表象看到本质，还可能找到解决问题的方法，甚至改变自己的世界观，这当然alter the way we perceive the world
2 从学科起源来看，是对世界上某类现象研究发展后形成的的科学知识体系。学习了这一学科后，可以由原来只看到表象发展为了解到事物的本质，这显然会attain a different awareness and understanding of the world.以化学这一学科的起源为例，火——化学反应，制陶、冶金、酿造——世界物质结构本质——学科诞生，学习了这一学科，必然会对世界上的种种化学反应和所有物质的构成有了本质了解，和以前不同。
3 认为某些事物不可了解，某些问题不可解决，学习某学科后，可能会找到解决问题的方法，改变对这些事物的看法，更科学的改造世界。如历史对人类起源，化学对能源危机、粮食危机、环境污染
4 了解事物真相，可能改变世界观，人生观。迷信，邪教——科学，真理。哥白尼天文学日心说，哈维生物学血液循环

An academic discipline is a field that studies a sort of phenomena that has the same theoretical system and use particular methodology. In other words, if one has studied an academic discipline, he can better understand the nature of these kind of phenomena instead of the surface of them. And the knowledge he gained may also help him find new ways to problems or even change his view of world. And these changes above are exactly the concrete aspects that how the study of an academic discipline alters the way one perceives the world.


From the origin of an academic discipline, we can see clearly why we will get to know the nature of some phenomena after studying it and then will have different eyes on the world. The typical example is the origin of chemistry which can date back to the first time we human beings drilled the wood to get fire. From then on, we went on by making pottery, smelting metals, brewing food and so on. That was the stage we were using the chemical reactions unconsciously. And then we started to question the reason of these magical things and then found the microcosmic structure of materials. Since then, this kind of academic discipline formally emerged. From the statement above, we can see if we can study chemistry, we will walk along this routine and get to know various chemical reactions and the nature of almost every common material’s microcosmic structure we see in our life. Therefore, we will attain a different awareness and understanding of the world.

We can use the knowledge we have learned from an academic discipline to solve problems that were thought to be unsolvable before and understand things we thought to be unknown. After solving such problems and knowing about more facts, we will have more confidence about ourselves and the world as well. For example, we have already using knowledge in chemistry to solve problems such as energy crisis, environmental problems and food crisis. And after studying archeology, we know the evolution of our human being which puzzled us for a long period of time. In sum, the studying of an academic discipline helps us better understand the world and change the world more scientifically.

The studying of an academic discipline may eventually change our view of world. Centuries ago when science was so undeveloped and only few of people studied the academic discipline, most people had a blind faith and believed in cult. However, with the development of science, more and more people went into a scientific world and fought against the church. Mikolaj Kopernik with his heliocentric theory and Harvey William with his blood circulation theory were the typical examples. It is precisely these breakthrough made people start to believe in truth and science. Now most modern people have been studied or are studying at least one academic discipline and the majority has a more scientific view of world. In a word, it is just the spread of academic disciplines makes this change possible.

It is the knowledge that academic disciplines give us makes it possible for us to attain a different awareness and understanding of the world. Since more and more people started to study the academic discipline, human beings are making big progress and our world is becoming more and more harmonious.

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mark先

iToldUsoUID: 2929900

Issue208
"The way people look, dress, and act reveals their attitudes and interests. You can tell much about a society's ideas and values by observing the appearance and behavior of its people."

字数:670  时间：20:00~23:00, 12/18
第一次发，同楼上，求狠拍

Within my cognition, it is somewhat wrongheaded to make a judgment of a society through its appearance and behavior of its people. The judgment has its possibility of existence while it merely gives a bunch of partial and biased answers. The speaker has given an unsubstantial assertion.

Admittedly, the way people look, dress, and act can possibly reveal their attitudes and interests in certain levels as the fact that presentation of entity can elicit essential. It is undeniable that we generally would initiate with the presentation of a certain thing under an investigation. For instance, in the realm of material science, we might first make an accurate observation towards the macrostructure of an alloy under different kinds of stress state or different strain velocities, which gives us statistics to make further analysis of the mechanical characteristic. Likewise, when we are investigating on ideas and values of a society, specifically aesthetic sensibility or morality, we would carry out observations on the appearance and behavior of its people.

However, we cannot tell an exact and comprehensive perception of a society immediately after an observation of its appearance in that it is not a one-to-one correspondence between entities’ essentials and their presentations. Regarding to the diversity of the expression process, a specific essential could correspondent to multiple and distinct presentations. The overlap in presentations, however, does not elicit any collision between different essentials. Hence, we can neither take a presentation to delegate an essential nor ascertain an essential by a presentation. This conclusion is evident in another case. In characterization of human-being, we use the phrase “erectly walk”, while it is basically inadequate and ridiculous to use this phrase neither to summarize the characteristic of human-being nor to qualify a creature that can erectly walk, such as kangaroo and etc., as a human-being. It is substantially superficial and partial to make a simple and categorical judgment by the appearance of things.

Moreover, the diversity of decoding process towards presentations renders the comprehension of essential different, which indicates that it is divergent that the apprehension of people with assorted culture backgrounds towards information. The investigating procedure of a presentation includes observation and evaluation, which both are, however, subjective. They both depend on the information that have perceived by an individual. As there is no absolute identical information system between individuals, the results of observation and evaluation are differed from subjects. Hence, as it is impossible for an individual neither to have the omniscience nor to observe the whole respects of people’s appearance and behavior in a society, one can establish a perspective within limited cognition and different visual angles, which cannot be confirmed as an implicit characterization. In addition, this kind of perspective flawed with uncritical and unsophisticated to a significant extant.

In support of this point, the error analysis theory can be the witness of it. In a series of measurements, there are two kinds of errors that results in the insurmountable distance between us and the truth, which are the inherent error and the computational error. The former is elicited by the limitation of the facilities and the random factors that exist in the process of obtaining statistics. The latter is derived from the theoretically inadequacy of the establishment of mathematical model. And those have given the scientific explanation towards the process of observation and evaluation with a precise comprehension of indeterminacy. To generalize this theory, in the “measurement” towards a society, the measuring means, as the speaker’s presumption, are just watch and tell, of which the process is too simple to approach the precise “statistics” of the ideas and values of the society.

In sum, we can give a judgment to some of a society’s ideas and values after an observation of its people’s appearance and behavior only with the acknowledgment that the judgment is ultimately subjective and superficial.
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mark先

口含太阳UID: 2959623

TOPIC: ISSUE142 - "The well-being of a society is enhanced when many of its people question authority."
WORDS: 549          TIME: 01:23:23          DATE: 2010/12/1 16:41:40

How to deal with au ...
iToldUso 发表于 2010-12-14 01:18

应该是"On the one hand"而不是"On one hand"
"any query/any of queries" 都可以. 前者是determiner后者是pronoun

为什么用complicated代替complex?

iToldUsoUID: 2929900

应该是"On the one hand"而不是"On one hand"
"any query/any of queries" 都可以. 前者是determiner后者是pronoun

为什么用complicated代替complex?
口含太阳 发表于 2011-1-25 20:18

。。。。。。。

别轻易用“应该”。one one hand不算错误用法。

我认为按他原文中想要表达的意思，用any queries更合理&合语法

因为complicated更适合呗

dnangel106UID: 2973465

啊 楼主真是好辛苦。。
本来还想贴篇文章来顶顶的说 还是算了 我马上就要考了。。唉。。

不过还是非常感谢楼主的无私啊

口含太阳UID: 2959623

。。。。。。。

别轻易用“应该”。one one hand不算错误用法。

我认为按他原文中想要表达的意思，用any queries更合理&合语法

因为complicated更适合呗
iToldUso 发表于 2011-1-25 22:02

我之所以说"应该", 是因为我查的大多数字典都是on the one hand



5 on the other hand ( also
on the one hand ... on the other hand )
used to give another opinion or fact that should be considered as well as the one you have just given :

I’d like to eat out, but on the other hand I should be trying to save money.
► Do not say ‘on one hand’. Say on the one hand .
6
-- L(ongman)DOCE 5


any的用法我在探索中, 不如你说下你的理由?

还有这里为什么要改成complicated?

uniquebossUID: 2440712

Lz,我的第一篇,发帖子也没人帮忙看......
帮忙看一下吧,第一篇,没有地,不知道以后的路要怎么走....感谢了

https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1226967-1-1.html