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[求助] Go2011Go作文练习贴 [复制链接]

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发表于 2011-3-17 22:14:54 |显示全部楼层
3月16日的独立,改好啦~~不好意思,有点儿晚~~

3.16_Go2011---已修改.doc

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1月30号IBT要给力啊~~

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发表于 2011-3-18 10:23:36 |显示全部楼层
TPO4综合 TPO4.doc (27.5 KB, 下载次数: 5)

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发表于 2011-3-18 16:33:49 |显示全部楼层
3.17Go2011.doc (29.5 KB, 下载次数: 7)

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发表于 2011-3-18 20:06:36 |显示全部楼层
3.18 TPO5 INTEGRATED WRITING tpo5_go.doc (27 KB, 下载次数: 3)

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发表于 2011-3-18 22:39:28 |显示全部楼层
3.18_高中生是否该学经济.doc (30 KB, 下载次数: 13)

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发表于 2011-3-19 10:12:44 |显示全部楼层
3.19 tpo6综合 tpo6_go.doc (27 KB, 下载次数: 8)

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发表于 2011-3-19 10:48:41 |显示全部楼层
3.18号作文修改独立作文上内容贴在这里
Do you agree with the following statement? High schoolstudents should take a course on basic economics.

Someargue that high school students should take a course on basic economics.Without doubt, learning basic economics is beneficial for young students, butconsidering the current workload of the students and their interests, it ismore reasonable to set the economic class as an optional one, rather than arequired one
那到底是应该还是不应该?观点不大明确).

Currenthigh school students are under high pressure, especially in China. To getadmission from their dream schools(university), they need to perform well inthe national college entrance examination with five required subjects. They arealready overwhelmed by the endless assignments and projects. If basic economicsis set as a required subject in school, less time is available for students to reviewthe other classes. Moreover, students always have different interests. It isnot appropriate to force them to learn economics if they does not like it.

Ido admit that economics is a very useful subject, and it is wise to offer such optionalclasses in high schools. Economicssubject is closely related to our daily life. Terms like inflation, CPI, GDP, etc.frequently appear on the newspapers and internet(学习了).It is easy for those who have taken some introductory economics courses tounderstand them, and more importantly, to take some actions regarding thechange of economic situations and related policies and regulations. Forexample, my friend who studies finance in university has been greatly benefitedfrom that. He foresaw the great potential of China’s real estate market, and suggestedhis parents buy two apartments in the downtown of Beijing five years ago. He nowhas already received the great return. Furthermore, offering such class will helpthe high school students decide whether they will further economics as theirmajor in university. Through this class, they will not see this subject as amysterious one, but have some concrete knowledge and a big picture of whateconomics encompasses.

Insum, offering economic as an optional class in high school is useful and applicable.It will enlarge their horizon and help them learn more practical knowledge.
我觉得这个问题要采用中立的立场比较不好写,比如optional就不是should,那从逻辑上说你应该是反对的观点。但从内容上说你对basic economics 的优点论证更多更丰富,这个需要调整一下。
另外,第一支持观点可以采用一些具体的例子来阐述一下就更丰富。
再次,如果说要说economics optional并用中学生压力大的事实来支持的话,加一个限定更显合理一点,即在中国的高中,而不是一般意义上的高中。
个人观点, 欢迎讨论交流

3.18 tpo5 by go (rev. by hcp).doc

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3.18 independent writing by go2011go (rev.by hcp4715).doc

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发表于 2011-3-20 15:10:46 |显示全部楼层
3.19_go.doc (30 KB, 下载次数: 8)

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发表于 2011-3-21 21:26:52 |显示全部楼层
3.21 独立 09.9.19北美 3.21政府花钱建博物馆还是健身中心.doc (32 KB, 下载次数: 9)

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发表于 2011-3-21 22:51:27 |显示全部楼层
修改好了

3.19_go(rev by perceptive558).doc

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发表于 2011-3-22 14:23:08 |显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 伶女 于 2011-3-22 14:24 编辑

3.21 revised
群主居然体贴的把我们分到一组了。。。

3.21政府花钱建博物馆还是健身中心.doc

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长跑

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发表于 2011-3-22 22:20:15 |显示全部楼层
3.22过去和现在那个更容易成功.doc (30.5 KB, 下载次数: 9)

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发表于 2011-3-23 09:51:09 |显示全部楼层
3。22独立作文修改(不好意思,权限不够,只能贴在这里)
It is easier to be success in the past than it is today

Some argue that it is easier to achieve success in the past than it is today, because the competition was not that fierce. However, I cannot agree with this idea for couple of reasons.

To begin with, more opportunities are available today due to the development of economy. To satisfy people’s various needs, large number of companies, factories, and stores are established providing different services according to the customers’ requirements. Thus more job opportunities are available, and it will be easier for people to find a real job (what do you mean by “real”) and start their career. Take the booming Internet industry for example. (,) N(n)ew business models like group-buying and e-commerce are very popular in China. Many young people start their online stores selling diverse products like T-shirts, cosmetics, food, etc. Stores with large number of long-term customers surely have considerable incomes. In addition, the online forums and social networking websites provide a good platform for people to communicate and share working experiences with each other, so that people can learn something practical and useful from others’ stories.

Furthermore, few would deny the role that education plays in one’s success. Through education people (could,我觉得加上虚拟语气会更native一些) acquire not only learning skills and analytical skills, but virtues like team spirit, honesty and integrity as well. Different from the past, education resource is much more abundant now in China. Besides the nine-year compulsory education program targeting the children, people also have more opportunities to study in universities and other technical schools, which make them fully equipped to future career.

Finally, to encourage people to start their own business, a series of policies have been taken out by the government regarding several aspects like tax and loan. Venture capital firms and angel investors are also attracted by the emerging market of China, so that the threshold for initiating a new company has been greatly lowered. In conclusion, it is much easier to achieve one’s goal today with the abundance resources and opportunities.



单词上没有毛病了,行文结构也很清晰,总体来讲很好,不过一点不足就是语言有点chinglish,老外可能理解上有点困难。还有opening和ending可以再写概括一些的句子,这样整体性更强。
23/4 Toefl; end of August Gmat.I will be there

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发表于 2011-3-23 21:41:09 |显示全部楼层
3.22严厉还是温和的老师更有效.doc (30 KB, 下载次数: 4)

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发表于 2011-3-24 14:00:00 |显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 伶女 于 2011-3-24 14:01 编辑

3.23 revised

3.22严厉还是温和的老师更有效go2011.doc

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长跑

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RE: Go2011Go作文练习贴 [修改]

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