【习作】Argument26 大家帮忙看一好吗？

fxyangUID: 2613084

Merely based on the unfounded assumption and dubious evidence, the statement draws the conclusion that we the Saluda school (SS) board should hire Mr. Charles Schade (CS) as the director of the general music education programs for the entire SS system. To substantiate this conclusion, the arguer points out the evidence that CS has been the music director at Steel City High School (SCHS) for the past five years. In addition, he indicates that the school band from SCHS has won three regional band competitions. At first glance, this argument appears to be some what convincing, but further reflection reveals that it omits some substantial concerns that should be addressed in the argument. From logical perspective, this argument suffers from three logical flaws.

The threshold problem with this argument is that the argument observes a correlation between winning three regional band competitions and that CS was the music director at SCHS during that time, and then concludes that the former is caused by the latter. However, the argument fails to rule out other possible explanations for the winning. For example, maybe the school band from SCHS was outstanding all the time. Any of these factors might lead to the winning. Without ruling out all other factors it is unfair to conclude that the school band from SCHS won the competitions because of CS. It is the same to the fact that the quality of the music rehearsal facilities and musical instruments at SCHS has improved. Maybe during the past five years, SCHS increased its investment on musical use.

The arguer's recommendation relies on what might be a poor analogy between Steel City and the town of Saluda. The analogy falsely depends on the assumption that education environment in both SCHS and SS are similar. However, it is entirely possible that the circumstances in these two schools are distinctly different and maybe CS can't get used to the education in town. In short, without accounting for such possible difference between Steel City and the town of Saluda, the arguer cannot prove that SS will reap the similar benefits from the proposed method.

Before I come to my conclusion, it is necessary to point out the last flaw involved in this argument that the author falsely depends on gratuitous assumption that CS can plan and direct the general music education programs as well as he do as a music director. However, no evidence is stated in the argument to support this assumption. For example, as the two kinds of job are totally different, it is most likely that CS cannot plan and direct the general music education programs well. Therefore, the argument is unwarranted without ruling out such possibility.

To sum up, this arguer fails to substantiate his claim that SS board should hire CS as the director of the general music education programs, because the evidence cited in the analysis does not lend strong support to what the arguer maintains. To make the argument more convincing, the author would have to provide more information with regard to whether it is CS's contribution that school band from SCHS won the competitions and the quality of musical instruments improves. Additionally, he would have to demonstrate that CS has the ability to direct the general music education programs as well as he does as a music director. Therefore, if the argument had included the given factors discussed above, it would have been more thorough and logically acceptable.

总共570个字……不过是在30分钟内完成的，没有超时。
没超时原因：
1、题目比较熟悉，看了第一行就把之前写的提纲想起来了。
2、照着笔记模板打的……上过新东方的朋友应该比较熟悉……

我打算拼命把模板练熟，可能实现考试时完成这么长的Argument吗？这么长会有好处吗？

谢谢！

weifeng0715UID: 2587768

新东方的模板尽量少用，尽量总结自己的

littlelingxinUID: 2289523

语句通顺，思路也蛮清晰的，文章很好懂
文章有点长，最后总结部分有点和前面重复