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[活动] S酱的作文贴--欢迎各位砖家携板砖光临 [复制链接]

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发表于 2010-8-24 21:22:21 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
本帖最后由 S酱 于 2010-11-9 23:31 编辑

作文贴~ 好好写作文!用文字表达自己的思想!

Hard work produces success!

个人一点浅薄经验:如何通过阅读tpo来学习写托福作文
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1182071-1-1.html
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hycqy + 5 + 4 赞作文~

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dreams never fade
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沙发
发表于 2010-8-25 11:56:14 |只看该作者
个人拙见,请指教~



Nowadays, university students might reachan agreement on that young people should start their first job beforegraduation. As to make their students more competitive, even the colleges alsorecommend their senior students to do internship or part-jobs during theirvacations. In my opinion,  young people will derive a lot from theirexperience of participating in a couple of different jobs before they start along term career. ,h5 ^2 f* s, F, o5 K

: {9 |& E7 l* z4 FWhen askedwhat kind of career they will pursue upon graduation, most young guys wouldprobably said that they have no idea. But, this question seems much easier toanswer for the young guys who have a plenty of working experiences. Owing to the rich experience from different areafields会不会好些), one wouldgain more comprehension aboutthe requirements of different(each job也太夸口了吧) jobs, these experiences can help one makes oneself a cleardefinitions of position what he or she want to be in the future, such as what kind of career is suitable for oneself. Taking me asan example, when I was an undergraduate student, I had tried several differentjobs, such as selling cosmetics, teaching children and doing intern in severalinternet companies.  Consequently I made my decision to work in a biginternet company after my graduation, because I found it was suitable for me.As one who always has some new ideas, working in a internet company was morechallenging and interesting. Without trying by oneselves(participations in different jobs), one couldprobably make the wrong choice on what they should do after graduation.; N! G' O5 n% [% ~# K; o# G; W
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What's more, trying different kinds of jobs could broaden one‘s mind, whichwill contribute to one's further developments. Young as one is(这是什么意思?), oneusually lacks of social experiences, which determines one can not be able tohave a wide perception of things. Whereas, doing different jobs give youngpeople opportunities of learning from people in different vocations, and thiscan provide one a variety of perceptions which can assist young people in carryingout solutions to the problems they deal with. Maybe someone will argue thatdoing one single job or similar jobs would be a better(good) choice. Oberviesly,concentrating on one job may provide young people with a profound understandingof that area. But what I would suggest is, if you have a spare time or excess energy,just give yourselves more changes to learn new things. As one getting fluent
with his jobs(how about "As one feels comfortable in current situation" or "As one familiar with current job" or "As one is in troubles",我不明白你的意思,请指教~), it is usually hard for him to make further steps. At this time,certain experiences learned from other jobs may help, as providing a differentperception to viewing the same thing. A person who has a wide perception willundoubtedly do better in the long term career in future. 3 W% F8 C8 e6 \7 |1 P$ v2 c
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Although doing several different jobs have a number of advantages. it doesn’tmean that young people should try as much different jobs as possible. Some jobsis just a waste of time and you can gain little from that. One should selectjobs according to their own figures or they will waste the previous studyingtime overall than it might otherwise.

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板凳
发表于 2010-8-25 22:10:23 |只看该作者
本帖最后由 S酱 于 2010-8-26 14:37 编辑

2# nishuowoshei
你的意见很中肯哦~谢谢!
不过obtain=gain~于是这个倒是可以换着用
dreams never fade

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地板
发表于 2010-8-25 22:11:07 |只看该作者
本帖最后由 S酱 于 2010-8-27 10:53 编辑

第二篇 8月26日

Newspapers and magazines are the best ways to learn about a foreign country?

It is true that newspapers and magazines are two major medium from which people get information in their daily life, but I can hardly agree that they are the best avenues to learn about a foreign country.

Firstly, I want to raise a question:what do you want to learn about a foreign country? I think a majority will answer that they have interests in the foreign culture , or something specific. To learn a foreign country’s culture, reading magazines or newspapers is just one way that they can go. As a media base on paper and print, magazines and newspapers use texts and pictures, which have been used for thousands years. Whereas, people who have become accustomed to using computer will probably get information from the Internet. With the search engine on the Internet, we can just tap the key words into the frame, in a blink of an eye, we can get what we want. This is really a efficient and economic way to learn things. Thus that is only part of the explanation, with the help of Internet, one could go to some online video websites such as Youtube to find some videos or movies about the foreign country, and this might be more visual to learn than texts and pictures. For example, if a person wants to learn something about the Egypt sculptures, it will be much helpful for him to watch some documentary films, not words only.

What’s more, it is too generals to say that reading magazines and newspapers are the best way to learn about a foreign country. Because, which device you choose for learning is subject to the content you what to learn. people who admires French art should go to an exhibition or museum to see the authentic works; And people who have an interests in the literature of another nation should read some classic novels of that country. And for me, who fascinate in Japanese entertainment culture, watching numerous animes and TV dramas are one ritual way. Therefore, there is no doubt that reading magazines and newspapers will also provide us with information about certain aspects of a foreign country, such as, contemporary life or recent events. But we just can’t learn everything we want from that.

Last but not the least, one of the best methods to learn about another country is making a trip. There is nothing than that can give you such a close view to a foreign country as traveling, seeing and feeling by yourself. Compare to this, the texts and pictures are all pale to communicate.

Above all, it is not rational to say that magazines and newspapers are the best way to learn a foreign country.
dreams never fade

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发表于 2010-8-26 17:34:31 |只看该作者
本帖最后由 S酱 于 2010-8-30 01:26 编辑

【独立写作小组】
8月31日 独立写作

Younger school children (aged five to ten) should be required to study art and music in addition to math, language, science and history



There might be someone who argue that young children should not be required to take art and music classes, or at least they should have an option not to take them, because it seems that only a minority of students will become an artist or musician in the future. However, in my opinion,  it is important to cultivate children's sense of art at their early age, and such an early education will benefit them much.

First of all, taking art and music classes will help the study of other subjects such as math and science. Since art and science are two sides of one coin. Although hey are distinct from each other, they also complement each other. Learning science and math contribute to children’s logical thinking while the art will develop their divergent thinking, which is also critical to the science and math. That is because, divergent always comes with creativity. In order to make our descendants become more creative,it is necessary to offer younger school children art and music lessons in addition to their other subjects.

Second, studying art and music is helpful in building children's aesthetic sense, which will bring children unparalleled benefits. These lessons will leave a seed of aesthetic to the children's little heart, and it will probably thrive as they grow up. As lack of sense of beauty, people will unfortunately miss a lot of beautiful scenarios throughout their lives. On the other hand, individuls who have a sense of art will discover more beautiful things and enjoy them in their daily life. Furthermore, learning art and music will enhance a human's charm. For an instance, boy or girl, who sings well will easily become stars in their school. and adult, who has a profound understanding of art or classic music will be considered artistically accomplished. Hence, in order to train and foster the sense of beauty, children should learn about art and music since their early age.

More over, learning art and music helps children learn how to express themselves better. As language is a main way to express human's ideas and emotions, art and music could provide another way to express these. Art works and songs are always filled with strong emotion, thus, children who learn art and music can express their emotion in more ways such as drawing, singing and playing instruments.

Although it is true that a few children will pursue art and music as their vocations, the school should give a chance of early art education to those minority who are interested in it. The world needs scientists, mathematicians, languishers, historians, and also musicians and artists. Even early education of art and music is not aiming at generating musicians or artists, children will still benefit from it, either immediately or in the future.
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dreams never fade

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发表于 2010-8-26 20:49:27 |只看该作者
不好意思改晚了,见谅。水平有限,见谅。
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从哪里跌倒就从哪里站起来!我一定能行!

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发表于 2010-8-27 12:06:37 |只看该作者
改好咯~
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发表于 2010-8-27 17:03:02 |只看该作者
26号的替你改好了。
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发表于 2010-8-27 18:38:30 |只看该作者
7# FannieHsu

谢谢~
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发表于 2010-8-27 18:41:32 |只看该作者
8# bearseu

谢谢你的修改~对我很有帮助

ps:critical=crucial
不过express的确我用太多了~你觉得还有什么可以替换的呢~我查了查单词还不是很多的感觉啊= =
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发表于 2010-8-27 21:10:41 |只看该作者
本帖最后由 S酱 于 2010-8-28 01:02 编辑

8.27【作文特训小组】

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement:University students should take part-time jobs.


There is much discussion today about whether university students should take part-time jobs. In my opinion, I strongly recommend college students to do part-time jobs in their spare time.

There is an old saying,the early bird catches the worm. In order to become more competitive after graduation, it is better for young guys to prepare it before hand. University is not only a place for students having courses everyday, but also a stage for students to get in touch with the society. Only the smart students will recognize they should spare their time on taking lessons from society. For example, my friend John, who are the one best student in my class, started to do part-time jobs since his second year at univerisity. When the other classmates began to find intern or part-time jobs, he had already obtain a lot of working experience. At that time, Microsoft company needed some interns, and some students had send resume and few of them were asked to go to an additional interview. Finally, John were the only one getting the admission and that must atribute to his various and abundant working experience. Actually, students who have no working experience before graduation will definitely encounter a lot of frustation in their job-hunting. Due to the lack of working experience, a young guy who knows nothing about work will fail to co-operate with the others. Whereas some one who has sufficient working experience will get into a groove quickly.  If I am an employer, I will definitely employ the latter. And there might be no company would take the risks of hiring an green hand.

As an adolescent, university students should start an independent life. And that means, they should try to raise themselves by their own hands. Part-time job is a prevalent way for them to earn money. That does not means  university students should make a lot of money from part-jobs, but at least the salary can cover part of their tuition or living expenses. Besides, students will get more self-confidence from making money. They will feel more satisfaction when spent money earned by themselves.

Moreover, doing certain part-jobs provides university student with much experience to make a decision about their long term career. By participating in some jobs, students would obtain further understanding about these vacations, which can help them make much clear definitions of their position, and then find out what kind of career is suitable for them.  If one didn't do part-jobs before graduation, they would probably make the wrong choice.

All in all, from what has been discussed above, we may safely draw the conclusion that university students should do some part time jobs.
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发表于 2010-8-28 10:19:20 |只看该作者
本帖最后由 S酱 于 2010-8-28 19:23 编辑

8.28 【独立写作小组】

you agree or disagree with the following statement? A job with more vacation time but a low salary is better than a job with a high salary but less vacation time.


There is much discussion today about whether a job with more vacation time but a low salary is better than a job with a high salary but less vacation time. In my opinion, it is too arbitrary to assume which job is better than the other. Because each type of job has its advantages and disadvantages, it depends on individuals to decide which vacation is better for him or her.  

A job with more vacation time but a low salary means that one can have much personal time. Nowadays, fast rhythm of life exhausted people’s energy, which has made vacation time become a luxury. People who has a job with more vacation time seems fortunate to enjoy a easy time. They can spare more time on their family or their hobbies, and there will be more time for them to relax, such as doing sports, go to travelling, so it seems that people who have a job with more vacation time could live a much free life. However, life with a more vacation time but low salary is not so easy for people who lack of money. Although, there is more personal time for them, but without enough money, they couldn’t improve their quality of life,even they couldn’t afford their living expenses.

On the other hand, people who take a vocation with less holidays, in generally, might earn a higher salary. Since wealth is always reputed as a symbol of success, people are sparing no efforts to make money. Plenty of money, however, could add to the quality of life. People  who earned a lot of money could have more delicate meal, live in a more comfortable house, and make more dreams come true. But in another way, considering the litte vacation time, it seems not so admirable their life is. Without much time to relax, people will suffer more pression both from mental and physics.

Due to the analysis above, there comes the conclusion. People who don’t used to a busy life or don’t have economic press could prefer the previous job. While people who want make more money or want to pursue a success vocation can chose the latter one.

All in all, it is not proper to draw the conclusion that one job is better than the other, it depends on the individuals’ situation.
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发表于 2010-8-28 14:09:51 |只看该作者
0826的作文修改在邮件中  我发你QQ邮箱了  不好意思  还没有权限传附件

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发表于 2010-8-29 06:54:47 |只看该作者
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement:University students should take part-time jobs.6 e5 G% `2 u" |7 \" D7 O$ [+ d

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There is much discussion today about whether university students should take part-time jobs. In my opinion, I strongly recommend college students to do part-time jobs in their spare time.9 h: D, s8 e2 s3 z% b) a
good start, simple,clear and accurate. Maybe you can add some different opinions of two sides, which may enrich your standpoint.

There is an old saying,the early bird catches the worm. In order to become more competitive after graduation, it is better for young guys to prepare it before hand( good, I haven't see it before). University is not only a place for students having (to have)courses everyday, but also a stage for students to get in touch with the society. Only the smart students will recognize they should spare their time on taking lessons from society. I think this sentence is too absolute,  For example, my friend John, who are(is) the one( of the)best studentz(s) in my class, started to do part-time jobs since his second year at univerisity. When the other classmates began to find intern or part-time jobs, he had already obtain a lot of working experience. At that time, Microsoft company needed some interns, and some students had send(sent) resume and few of them were asked to go to an additional interview. Finally, John were(was) the only one getting the admission and that must atribute to his various and abundant working experience. Actually, students who have no working experience before graduation will definitely encounter a lot of frustation in their job-hunting. Due to the lack of working experience, a young guy who knows nothing about work will fail to co-operate with the others. Whereas some one who has sufficient working experience will get into a groove quickly.  If I am an employer, I will definitely employ the latter. And there might be no company would take the risks of hiring an green hand. + f7 e# E+ |
3 h; H$ Q3 y- ~" j6 P

As an adolescent, university students should start an independent life. And that means, they should try to raise themselves by their own hands. Part-time job is a prevalent way for them to earn money. That does not means  university students should make a lot of money from part-jobs, but at least the salary can cover part of their tuition or living expenses. Besides, students will get more self-confidence from making money. They will feel more satisfaction when spent money earned by themselves.At the beginning of this paragraph, you may add some conjuctions like :second

Moreover, doing certain part-jobs provides university student with much experience to make a decision about their long term career. By participating in some jobs, students would obtain further understanding about these vacations, which can help them make much clear definitions of their position, and then find out what kind of career is suitable for them.  If one didn't do part-jobs before graduation, they would probably make the wrong choice.0 _7 c, h* _' ^, W( @' H6 p

# U* t: m+ t% ]$ e( ~
All in all, from what has been discussed above, we may safely draw the conclusion that university students should do some part time jobs.
I think the whole framwork of the passage is clear and your argument is well developed.
good luck to you in the exam!
不放弃,不灰心

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发表于 2010-8-29 11:31:46 |只看该作者
13# tarena1230
谢谢~我收到了,你改的也很细致
但是有些地方可能值得商酌~不过还是谢谢咯~
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RE: S酱的作文贴--欢迎各位砖家携板砖光临 [修改]
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