3.16 by annke

annkeUID: 2605122

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: Telephone has greater influence on people's lives than TV.

In
recent years, there is a heated discussion about which has more impacts on people's lives, the Telephone or the TV. Some people maintain it is obviously that telephone has greater influence on people's lives, arguing it provide modern people more convenience. However, I oppose to the statement, from my perspective, there is no convincing evidence to prove which one influence us greater. Also, TV plays a crucial role in citizens' daily life and shower impacts on people at different aspects.

First of all, TV provide people information and entertainment, its significance is revealed by the fact that virtually every household would turn on the TV and watch couple of hours in every single day . There are abundant channels on TV, which are easily accessed and thoughtfully specified to meet various demands, so every person can find what he or she interested in. For example, the sports fans can watch every matches on TV no matter when and no matter where it is held. The pupils would like to watch some cartoon or some fictional films on the Children Channel. And from the news broadcasted on TV, students are able to update to know what happened in the outside world without stepping out of the living room. TV provide us so much convenience that is inevitably have a great influence on our behaviors and life style.

Furthermore, as I pointed previously, we people's behavior and life style have been changed by the television. Society abounds with such instances. See what are co-workers and classmates talking about during the leisure time?
I bet their topics contain the popular soap operas, the interesting talk shows, or even the awful commercials. No one could deny that the invention of television greatly impel the formation of consuming society and improve the rise of common culture. Since ordinary people have an easy approach to get informed of who are the celebrities and how do they live. It is unavoidably they would be motivated and desire to imitate or pursue for the favorable things. Thus, the values, beliefs, cultures and life styles are communicated via television and shared among community. In this way every individual are impacted by television which gradually results in changes of the whole society.

However, we should admit that the telephone benefit and influence people substantially as well as the TV. Equipped with telephones, we can get directly contact with our family members and our friends wherever and whenever. It works like a magical bridge connecting separate individuals, and fill the emptiness of hearts when people stuck in loneliness. Considering of the influence of telephone,
I cannot guarantee TV overweight telephone, and thus I disagree with the ranking about influence between telephone and television .

To sum up, in the advent of Information Age, technological equipment provide people much more benefits and in the mean while change aspects of people's life. Television and telephone are the typical examples of such excellent invention. However it is a waste of time to decide which one champion on the impacts.

yq_112397UID: 2286548

还是只改第一段吧。
In recent years (recently就好了), there is a heated（很多余很奇怪） discussion about which（指代什么呢？中心词放后面？） has more impacts on people's lives, the Telephone or the TV（托福考试里最好不要缩写）. Some people maintain it is obviously that telephone has greater influence on people's lives, arguing（because） it provides modern people with(固定搭配) more convenience. However, I oppose to the（that） statement,(这里应该是句号) From my perspective, there is no convincing evidence to prove which one influence us greater. Also, TV plays a crucial role in citizens'（这个词不是用这的，换people’s）daily life (负数) and shower（什么意思呢？洗澡？） impacts on people at different aspects.

其实看完你这一段，我感觉就在说一个意思，就是，你觉得电视不比电话对人们的影响小。这个简单的意思不用那么一大段话来说吧。。。

再尽量不改变你原意的情况下，我修改成以下：

Some people think telephone has more impacts on an individual's life; some disagree. However, I would say it depends on whose life you are talking about. Telephone may have a bigger influence on an operator's life but may not necessarily have a bigger issue with a housekeeper as television does.

PS: 这题目本身就很无聊，拿电话和电视比什么呀。

annkeUID: 2605122

2# jbc88
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: Telephone has greater influence on people's lives than TV.
同学
其实它文章要求是说，你同不同意这句话。同意可以是完全同意，可以是保留同意。不同意，可以认为是另一个更大影响，也可以是这个问题本来就没嘛意义。
李笑来说 托福作文 观点鲜明不代表观点绝对。我这里不是想搬个人出来说就可以那么写了，只是，对于这种文章把想法那么呈现出来是不是就够了呢？
哎~

annkeUID: 2605122

我这是在凑字数。。。。
而且
照你那么想的话，成了压缩游戏了。。
我写的时候脑袋中飘得就是那些，码字出来的也就是这些
so
二次处理有时没效率啊
· 3# yq_112397

老王家的小猫UID: 2781258

In recent years, there is a heated discussion about which has more impacts on people's lives, the Telephone or the TV. Some people maintain it is obviously that telephone has greater influence on people's lives, arguing it provide modern people more convenience. However, I oppose to the statement, from my perspective, there is no convincing evidence to prove which one influence us greater. Also, TV plays a crucial role in citizens' daily life and shower (show?) impacts on people at different aspects.
First of all, TV provide people information and entertainment, its significance is revealed by the fact that virtually every household would turn on the TV and watch couple of hours in every single day. (watch后面缺东西，没有讲看什么吧，还有这句子似乎太复杂了，换一个说法比较好。) There are abundant channels on TV, which are easily accessed and thoughtfully specified to meet various demands, so every person can find what he or she interested in. For example, the sports fans can watch every matches (match) on TV no matter when and no matter (这个no matter 不要了）where it is held. The pupils would like to watch some cartoon or some fictional films (some都不要了)on the Children Channel. And from the news broadcasted on TV, students are able to update to know (to know换成on)what happened in the outside world without stepping out of the living room. TV provides us so much convenience that is inevitably have a great influence on our behaviors and life style.
Furthermore, as I pointed previously, we people's (our) behavior and life style have been changed by the television. Society abounds with such instances. See what are co-workers and classmates talking about during the leisure time? I bet their topics contain the popular soap operas, the interesting talk shows, or even the awful commercials. No one could deny that the invention of television greatly impel the formation of consuming society and improve (incentive) the rise of common culture. Since ordinary people have an easy approach to get informed of who are the celebrities and how do they live. It is unavoidably they would be motivated and desire to imitate or pursue for the favorable things. Thus, the values, beliefs, cultures and life styles are communicated (represented) via television and shared among community. In this way every individual are (is) impacted by television which gradually results in changes of the whole society.
However, we should admit that the telephone benefit and influence people substantially as well as the TV. Equipped with telephones, we can get directly contact with our family members and our friends wherever and whenever. It works like a magical bridge connecting separate individuals, and fill the emptiness of hearts when people stuck in loneliness. Considering of the influence of telephone, I cannot guarantee TV overweight telephone, and thus I disagree with the ranking about influence between telephone and television. (前面两端都在着重叙述电视对于个人以及社会产生的影响，电话与之的对比会不会有点够，个人感觉有点前面轻后面重的感觉.总之托福作文把它写成两者等同的情况应该比较难写吧，为了考试应该还是之选一个来写)To sum up, in the advent of Information Age, technological equipment provide people much more benefits and in the mean while change aspects of people's life. Television and telephone are the typical examples of such excellent invention. However it is a waste of time to decide which one champion on the impacts.

yq_112397UID: 2286548

我这是在凑字数。。。。
而且
照你那么想的话，成了压缩游戏了。。
我写的时候脑袋中飘得就是那些，码字出来的也就是这些
so
二次处理有时没效率啊
· 3# yq_112397
annke 发表于 2010-3-17 20:48

凑字数的作文永远不是好作文。有很多话和想法可以写的，多开发开发，多动脑练习一下。
凑字数，考官一眼就看出来了，他们也最烦一堆没有意义的套话，例如你这篇文章中充实的东西，看完感觉就是在看一个用皮衣套上的稻草人，而且皮衣也很不成样子。