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[感想日志] 1006G 备考日记 by ieyangj08——行胜于言 [复制链接]

ieyangj08
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256楼

发表于 2010-2-24 23:34:00 |只看该作者

2.24
A限时，基本满意。I提纲细化，钉在仪式与典礼上了。收拾东西，明天回学校。

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257楼

发表于 2010-2-26 08:57:02 |只看该作者

2.25
早上I提纲，午饭后直奔机场，候机和机上A提纲复习，晚上整理宿舍，A学习。

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258楼

发表于 2010-2-26 10:57:00 |只看该作者

摘自66斑竹一篇引人深思的帖子

常见的模板开头一般是两种类型：

1直截了当，这种模板通常的方式就是 In this argument, the author concludes that… however, it suffers from several logical flaws. 简单实用吧，然而，除了告诉阅卷人：我开始行文了！以外，这种开头还有别的用处么？当ETS的老师批的头晕脑胀四肢发慌的时候，流水线一般出现在他面前的居然是几百几千份这种工厂里面出来的开头，看着就倒胃口的压缩食品，他会怎么想？“你说的东西没错，但是除了几个单词以外，实在是看不出什么内容，真TM恶心。”估计当时给你的文章档次就压了一级。更何况，ETS提倡的是思维的展现，不是你打字的速度，更不是你抄写的能力，这种开头如何能够配得上高分？可笑的是新东方的老师们，一遍一遍的强调着：开头要简洁，一句话足矣，时间用的越少越好。来给广大的中国考生洗脑，被洗脑的考生们又把这种思想开始淳淳善诱师弟师妹们，造成了现在的普遍的错觉：开头不重要。时代在变化，ETS 的胃口也在变化，然而这种理念持续了足足有8年之久或者更长，却从来没有变过。无怪乎最近两年的AW成绩普遍的开始下降，细小之处就能看出端倪来。

2固定逻辑式，这种模板的表述一般来说是：In this argument, the author concludes that… To support the conclusion, the arguer points out that … and provides the evidence that … A careful examination of this argument would reveal how groundless the conclusion is.
对于这类型的开头，从本意来看，比第一种强多了，但也会是最大的败笔之处。因为令人遗憾的是，绝大多数的同学们使用这种开头的目的，不是为了理清楚题目的逻辑关系，而是为了凑字数，他们忘记了思考，一种务必要贯穿整个写作过程的speculation. 为了方便的说明我的观点，特地找了一篇这样的模板型开头，感谢flyex童鞋.

38.Thefollowing memo appeared in the newsletter of the West Meria Public Health Council.

"An innovative treatment has come to our attention that promises to significantly reduce absenteeism in our schools and workplaces. A study reports that in nearby East Meria, where fish consumption is very high, people visit the doctor only once or twice per year for the treatment of colds. Clearly, eating a substantial amount of fish can prevent colds. Since colds are the reason most frequently given for absences from school and work, we recommend the daily use of Ichthaid, a nutritional supplement derived from fish oil, as a good way to prevent colds and lower absenteeism."

In this argument, the arguer concludes that daily use of lchthaid will help people to prevent colds and lower absenteeism. To support this conclusion, the arguer cites the evidence that in East Meria, people seldom to the hospital for the treatment of colds because of the high consumption of fish in that place. Carefully examination of this supporting evidence, however, reveals that it lends little credible support to the arguer’s suggestion.

我想，很多童鞋当写完这么一个开头的时候，下了考场自我感觉都会非常的良好，觉得4分在手了，内容写的稍微全面一点的话，5分也不在话下，那么我现在告诉大家，这样的开头，其实是彻底的失败，从内容表达上来说，这个开头只值3分或者更低。不信？看我接下来的说法。

我们先来分析一下文章的结构：(à表示推出)
A study reports that in nearby East Meria, where fish consumption is very high, people visit the doctor only once or twice per year for the treatment of colds
通过这句话，我们能够发现作者的第一步推理：study reports(已知) à EM的人为感冒而看医生较少是 indeed exist.（推理1） à EM的人感冒少（推理2）
Clearly, eating a substantial amount of fish can prevent colds.
这句话可以得出第二部推理：这种现象（推理2）+ 鱼类消费高（事实1） à 鱼类对这种现象有帮助（推理3） à 鱼类的某种物质对抑制感冒有帮助（推理4）
Since colds are the reason most frequently given for absences from school and work, we recommend the daily use of Ichthaid, a nutritional supplement derived from fish oil, as a good way to prevent colds and lower absenteeism."
然后下一个推论：感冒是主要的旷工借口（事实2） à 感冒是主要的旷工原因（推论5）+ 推论4 à 鱼类的某种物质可以抑制感冒，减少旷工。（推论6）à 鱼油中提炼的营养品可以抑制感冒，减少旷工（推论7）
最后是结论：推论7 à 吃这种营养品可以预防感冒，减少旷工（结论）

实际上，是这么多步奏的推论和隐含前提的共同作用，才得出这么个荒谬的结果，而上面那位童鞋仅仅把得出结论的原因归咎为：the evidence that in East Meria, people seldom to the hospital for the treatment of colds because of the high consumption of fish in that place. 当ETS老师看到这样的开头的时候，第一个反应估计就是：这个人题都没读懂就开始瞎写。自然后面的评价不会高到哪儿去。

那么，一个好的开头究竟应当有些什么内容？

正如我上文提到的，开头的最大的作用应该在于帮助写作的时候理清文章的脉络，一个好的开头应该就是一个文章的缩影，应该给阅卷的老师三个直观的印象：1. 这些逻辑点确实是来自于文章的抽象2. 这个学生抓的逻辑点都是正确的。3.从这些逻辑点的顺序当中可以猜测到该生的正文论证顺序。

仍然举上面那篇argument为例子，当最开始看到题一步步阅读的时候，脑子里面就应该开始抽象出一些作者的推论了，或许大家都不能第一遍看完就列出我上面写的那么详细的多步推论，（就连我自己也不行…）然而，大概的推论过程应该在你的脑子里面很清醒的展现出来，比如类似这样的缩略版：

Study à 感冒的人少
感冒的人少+吃鱼多 à鱼里面有物质对感冒有效
鱼对感冒有效+感冒是第一请假理由 à 吃鱼油可以避免请假

我想，在短短的1分钟内，能够理论这么一个思路，就足够了，ETS的老师也明白你不可能再30分钟的时间里面面俱到，但是你有了这样的思维，至少就和其他的上来就开始套模板的开头不一样了，接下来我们可以这样开头：

Grounding on the study in East Meria, supposing that eating a substantial amount of fish can prevent colds, and then synthesizing the two hypothesizes and another factor that colds are the reason most frequently given for absences from school and work, the author accordingly suggests that the daily use of Ichthaid is a good way to prevent colds and lower absenteeism. However …

类似这样的开头，首先并不花时间，因为除了一些连词和动词以外，大部分都是照抄原文，经过简单的练习以后，绝对能够在3分钟之内搞定，然而，它的价值却比模板高的多。当ETS拿到这么一个开头的时候，首先他必然会对你的综合能力感到满意，因为这些逻辑关系，的确是文章当中提到的，也是顺理成章的关系；其次你在这样一个开头里面传达了一个信息：我接下来要批的东西，已经都在这个开头里面啦。老师们都是很有经验的，很容易就能看出你这篇A，主要批的是三个东西：1.study的真实性，代表性或者全面性, 2. 那个supposing的合理性, 3.综合结论的谬误。接下来他们在读你的正文的时候，自然而然会有一种感觉：这个学生的逻辑性不错，至少段落之间，是绝对没有问题的，因为他的开头已经告诉了我，他的批判是按照逻辑来的。

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259楼

发表于 2010-2-26 11:03:19 |只看该作者

有必要再次阅读AWintro

Hospital statistics regarding people who go to the emergency room after roller skating accidents indicate the need for more protective equipment.  Within this group of people, 75 percent of those who had accidents in streets or parking lots were not wearing any protective clothing (helmets, knee pads, etc.) or any light-reflecting material (clip-on lights, glow-in-the-dark wrist pads, etc.).  Clearly, these statistics
indicate that by investing in high-quality protective gear and reflective equipment, roller skaters will greatly reduce their risk of being severely injured in an accident.

6分答卷 *所有答卷均按原文引用，包括错误、拼写等

The notion that protective gear reduces the injuries suffered in accidents seems at first glance to be an obvious conclusion. After all, it is the intent of these products to either provent accidents from occuring in the first place or to reduce the injuries suffered by the wearer should an accident occur. However, the conclusion that investing in high quality protective gear greatly reduces the risk of being severely injured in an accident may mask other (and potentially more significant) causes of injuries and may inspire people to over invest financially and psychologically in protective gear.

First of all, as mentioned in the argument, there are two distinct kinds of gear - preventative gear (such as light reflecting material) and protective gear (such as helmets). Preventative gear is intended to warn others, presumably for the most part motorists, of the presence of the roller skater. It works only if the "other" is a responsible and caring individual who will afford the skater the necessary space and attention. Protective gear is intended to reduce the effect of any accident, whether it is caused by an other, the skater or some force of nature. Protective gear does little, if anything, to prevent accidents but is presumed to reduce the injuries that occur in an accident. The statistics on injuries suffered by skaters would be more interesting if the skaters were grouped into those wearing no gear at all, those wearing protective gear only, those wearing preventative gear only and those wearing both. These statistics could provide skaters with a clearer understanding of which kinds of gear are more beneficial.

The argument above is weakened by the fact that it does not take into account the inherent differences between skaters who wear gear and those who do not. If is at least likely that those who wear gear may be generally more responsible and/or safety conscious individuals. The skaters who wear gear may be less likely to cause accidents through careless or dangerous behavior. It may, in fact, be their natural caution and repsonsibility that keeps them out of the emergency room rather than the gear itself. Also, the statistic above is based entirely on those who are skating in streets and parking lots which are relatively dangerous places to skate in the first place. People who are generally more safety conscious (and therefore more likely to wear gear) may choose to skate in safer areas such as parks or back yards.

The statistic also goes not differentiate between severity of injuries. The conclusion that safety gear prevents severe injuries suggests that it is presumed that people come to the emergency room only with severe injuries. This is certainly not the case. Also, given that skating is a recreational activity that may be primarily engaged in during evenings and weekends (when doctors' offices are closed), skater with less severe injuries may be especially likely to come to the emergency room for treatment.

Finally, there is absolutely no evidence provided that high quality (and presumably more expensive) gear is any more beneficial than other kinds of gear. For example, a simple white t-shirt may provide the same preventative benefit as a higher quality, more expensive, shirt designed only for skating. Before skaters are encouraged to invest heavily in gear, a more complete understanding of the benefit provided by individual pieces of gear would be helpful.

The argument for safety gear based on emergency room statistics could provide important information and potentially saves lives. Before conclusions about the amount and kinds of investments that should be made in gear are reached, however, a more complete understanding of the benefits are needed. After all, a false confidence in ineffective gear could be just as dangerous as no gear at all.

阅卷人评语——6分

这篇优秀的答卷展示了作者见解深刻的分析能力。引言部分首先指出题目的错误推理可能导致". . . inspire people to over invest financially and psychologically in protective gear,"，随后全面地审查了题目中的主要错误。作者特别指出了削弱论证的几点：
1、  防护性和保护性装备是不同的；
2、  穿防护服的溜冰者不容易出事，因为他们天生更加负责和谨慎；
3、  统计数据没有区分受伤的严重程度；
4、  防护服不一定要质量很好才有用。
论证流畅、结构合理，每个论点都得到了彻底合理地展开。此外，作者的文字简练、几乎没有错误。句式复杂多变，选词精准恰当。
总之，这篇答卷展示了评分指南中6分级别的高水准。即使作者的文采略差或提供更少的原因来反驳题目，本文同样可以得到6分。

5分答卷

The argument presented is limited but useful. It indicates a possible relationship between a high percentage of accidents and a lack of protective equipment. The statistics cited compel a further investigation of the usefulness of protective gear in preventing or mitigating roller-skating related injuries. However, the conclusion that protective gear and reflective equipment would "greatly reduce.risk of being severely injured" is premature. Data is lacking with reference to the total population of skaters and the relative levels of experience, skill and physical coordination of that population. It is entirely possible that further research would indicate that most serious injury is averted by the skater's ability to react quickly and skillfully in emergency situations.

Another area of investigation necessary before conclusions can be reached is identification of the types of injuries that occur and the various causes of those injuries. The article fails to identify the most prevalent types of roller-skating related injuries. It also fails to correlate the absence of protective gear and reflective equipment to those injuries. For example, if the majority of injuries are skin abrasions and closed-head injuries, then a case can be made for the usefulness of protective clothing mentioned. Likewise, if injuries are caused by collision with vehicles (e.g. bicycles, cars) or pedestrians, then light-reflective equipment might mitigate the occurences. However, if the primary types of injuries are soft-tissue injuries such as torn ligaments and muscles, back injuries and the like, then a greater case could be made for training and experience as preventative measures.

阅卷人评语——5分

这篇强有力的答卷较好地评论了题目，指出它“表明了一种可能的关系”，然而它的结论“是不成熟的”。答卷中提出了三个中心问题，它们的答案可能削弱题给论证的合理性：

1、整个溜冰群体的特征是什么？
2、在预防或减轻溜冰伤害方面，防护服和反光装备有什么用？
3、受伤的类型是什么，以及它们的原因？
作者从不同方面讨论了上述问题的答案，它们增强或削弱了论证。本文的分析与批评尚未达到6分所要求的深刻程度，但其组织结构清晰、语言使用较好，以及详实的展开都确保了这篇文章的分数足以超过4分。

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260楼

发表于 2010-2-26 22:04:00 |只看该作者

2.26
A学习，题库复习，I提纲细化。早上8：30一直复习到现在，快崩溃了，上来透口气。一会儿有空再写篇A或I。明天继续模考。

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261楼

发表于 2010-2-27 23:25:51 |只看该作者

2.27
I提纲细化、复习。模考两次，基本能写完自己的观点，拼写和语法错误较少，估计也就是这个水平了。明天去GZ考场，复习之前写的习作和提纲，不知有没有机会上网更新日志。
至此，我的106GAW备考日志也基本要告一个段落了。至少可以说这两个月里，我没有偷懒，没有松懈，没有放弃。

已有 1 人评分	声望	收起理由
海王泪	+ 2	BLESS！！

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262楼

发表于 2010-2-27 23:29:55 |只看该作者

广州考场？
祝好运！！！！加油～瞄过你的习作，写得都很清晰～考官会喜欢的！ :loveliness:

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ieyangj08	+ 2	这次本该在北京考，因为之前在广州考过一次 ...

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In Passion We Trust

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263楼

发表于 2010-3-1 19:10:09 |只看该作者

2.28
A提纲复习，之前写的习作复习，I提纲复习。

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264楼

发表于 2010-3-1 19:10:30 |只看该作者

3.1
I提纲复习。考试。

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265楼

发表于 2010-3-1 19:18:19 |只看该作者

终于考完了，将这两天的备考日志补上，也算是圆满了。
I抽到的是历史仅与我们生活相关时有价值，A是大学为教师配偶提供工作，两篇都写过。
I提前十几分钟就写完了，又补充了一些文字和段落，字数也远远超过了期望，感觉是模考以来最成功的一次了，A的情况也类似。总之，俺已经很满足了。

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266楼

发表于 2010-3-1 21:57:16 |只看该作者

https://bbs.gter.net/bbs/thread-1065620-1-1.html
https://bbs.gter.net/bbs/thread-1065659-1-1.html
以上两篇帖子作为自己这段时间的总结，也作为对AW版的回馈。至此，我的AW复习正式结束了。明天开始要去综合论坛了。祝所有10-6G的版友考试取得好成绩。

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