1006G 备考日记 by ieyangj08——行胜于言

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2.9
     艰辛的红宝四轮今天终于过完了，明天开始可以看逆序了。issue修改、积累中。

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[每日一评] Issue208 By augustman。---审题立意深化，例证结合

TOPIC: ISSUE208 - "The way people look, dress, and actreveals their attitudes and interests. You can tell much about a society's ideas and values by observing the appearance and behavior of its people."
原帖见https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=1058251&page=1#pid1773588710
来看文章：

I agree with this assertion insofar as that it is sometimes reasonable for one to realize（实现？我没看错么，实现观点和价值？） a society's ideas and values by observing the appearance and behavior of its people. Nevertheless, in most instances, people's appearance and behavior only provide us an aspect of a society or the method to understand a society even has no sense compared with some deeper（没有什么方法是深奥的，如果要表示更高级的，用advanced /sophisticated这样的词语吧）
methods（其实这句话本来想表达的是这个意思比起更先进，完善的方法，这样的观察不算什么，可以换一种方式表达， it is of littlesense to obtain ideas and values by observing than some more advanced methods）.

开头蛮中规中矩的，看得出是要写先杨后抑的，语句的使用上，需要多注意，尤其是issue写作中，语法很重要，从开头，能基本看得出后面文章的基调，基本上是说，观察有用，然后说，其他方法更好，这样的理解是不是有点简单，是否还是有深究的余地，带着问题继续看文章~go

From a practical point of view, the（这里不需要定冠词吧，没有特指，指的是普遍现象吧） appearance and behavior will（为啥是将来时？如果表述一个事实，那么最好是使用过去时和一般现在时） reveal one’s identity and preferences. A successful man may dress elegantly, and his behavior also befits（什么叫行为对性格产生帮助啊？没懂，他的行为为他的性格增色？还是他的行为为别人看上去的他的个性增加好感？没懂） his character. By contrast, a poor man will dress functional（穷人穿工具服？工作服？）clothes, ignoring（穷人就不顾形象了？） whether it looks like.（。。。这个具体我下面给你分析）We can also tell much about people’s aesthetic values by their exterior appearances. A man who likes rock and hip-hop may dress in anon-mainstream（在美国，HIP-HOP就是非主流了？） way. Hence（总结词出现，但是前面的事实不足，又缺少推理过程啊）, observing and analyzing the people’s appearance and behavior can help us understand their ideas and values. If they are typical, we can also understand the society. Here is an example, most Arab women wear in a long hooded cloak woven of wool in one piece and cover their faces. If their robes deemed too revealing, they may be sent to the prison. The mainstream appearance reveals their society is conservative（暂且不说表述问题，这个例子不合适，例子为观点服务，观点是能表达群体观点，这个阿拉伯女人蒙面是因为保守么？还是因为宗教原因和习俗啊？然后女人蒙面能代表整个社会么？显然不合适啊）

首先，跟随你的观点来看文章：
表象能反映id and preference，富人穷人对比，然后是表象显示审美价值，然后总结重复结论，然后说，如果够典型，就能反映社会观点。

来分析下逻辑链中的问题：
a.id&preference 和ideas and values什么关系？没有说清楚
b.穷人和富人的对比为了说明什么？能说明什么？穷人的审美价值高？穷人的价值低？(⊙o⊙)…如果是这样的话，好偏激的，那么是不是穷人就没有机会成为富人了啊？那么所谓的美国梦都是痴人说梦了？如果是要说明，富人穿的样子让别人看上去就像富人，穷人看上去就像穷人，那么你就应该把ID和preference的关系以及ideas and values的关系说明白，简单的说，就是说，因为社会的价值是存在的，而且认为富人会穿什么什么的衣服，就像富人会开法拉利，所以富人会选择法拉利来开。穷人要穿什么样子的衣服，所以穷人选择这些衣服穿。因为社会既定的价值体系指挥着，所以，有些人能从着装中看出端倪
c.那个审美价值的例子用的不合理，而且每说清楚那个同上道理，因为社会观点认为玩HIPHOP的人会穿什么衣服，他们就穿了，让
别人能看出来。
d.阿拉伯的例子本身有问题，不能做列举，这里就不多说了

那么其实，我猜LZ这个段落应该说的是，社会的既定的观点和价值，让某些人穿上了某些衣服，表现某种行为，让别人能看到他们是怎么样的，把他们的样子行为和外人理解社会的观点结合起来。但是，我
有点问题哦，富人开法拉利显示自己有钱，但是怎么说开法拉利的都是富人啊？呵呵，这个问题蛮有意思的~

继续下一段

Yet, there are holes in this method（好可爱的说法，holes，呵呵，flaws比较合适）. Because of globalization, in many societies’ people look alike（每个种族的人和人不一样的，能说穿的相似，但是不能说人和人相似的）and what they prefer to dress is similar. People in china no longer（好绝对啊，不适合在学术性文章总出现）wear Chinese jacket and cheongsam.What we sold in the clothing（删） market has no different with American（这个是事实么？例子？是为了说明啥）（没展开啊，好遗憾的看到了后面的futhermore）. Furthermore, most countries’ people follow the unified standard about what we should wear in different situation like meeting,wedding and funeral. There is another flaw in this method of understanding a society. In today’s schools, factories, enterprises and governmental agencies,people are ordered to dress in uniforms or in a formal style. In my high school, students must wear the uniforms. It is a way to restrict the comparison of the various clothing among the students. Hence, it is hard to judge what these people’s ideas and preferences are.

这段的结论有了，但是没有推理啊，可惜，ISSUE的精华就是如何确定观点，选择例子，然后进行观点和例子之间的链接
比如这个段落：
a.说道了这个方法不好，应该说不科学吧，呵呵，举例中国人不穿旗袍（有么？），举例全世界衣服差不多，然后就么了，没有推理。其实可以有更多的推理的，比如，对中国人来说，旗袍能很好的反应中国女性的特质，以及中国的历史文化，但是，现在越来越多的人开始不穿旗袍了~这样，大家就觉得没啥IDEAS了，其实里面大有花头啊。
b.再说第二层意思，你都说有标准了，标准还是一个统一的东西啊，能看出一个社会对于某个具体事情的观点啊，比如葬礼黑色，既然是标准了，大家就认同了，这个段落是要反驳，认为不能反映，没有标准，没有标准下的观点和意识，所以这个例子不好，制服的这个还可以的，制服的确不能反映观点的,我个人感觉例子要说清楚的~
c.我认为，本文的线索其实还有一个是行为，不必要全文谈衣服的，可以谈谈行为，然后从行为入手~

In addition, what we see may not be the fact. A millionaire may prefer ordinary dress than the dress match his wealth. When we want to know more about a person, we will have conversation with him or her like a television talk show. There are many elements to decidea society’s values and ideas. The entirely different society systems between South Korea and North Korea lead to a distance in ideas and values between two countries’ people, though there was only one Korea decades ago. So, we should take deeper methods to judge a society’s ideas and values, such like a survey for ordinary people, a study about what the media pay attention to and the educational status
of its people and so forth.

试着从你的观点去理解文章，我没有看出来推理过程，甚至，我觉得这个段落的结构不完善，不健全。
这个段落，我感觉你想谈论的是决定的因素有很多，服装会欺骗人的。需要更好的方法来看问题。
我感觉这个段落的意思有了，但是有点乱乱的，如果用中文写，会怎么写呢？
我试试：
事实上，我们会发现按照服装和行为来看问题不好，需要用更健全的方式来看问题。在现实生活中，某些人的着装不代表他的观点（其实这个观点在B2已经阐述过了），因此这样的话，就不能看出社会群体的观点了。其次，我们发现，如果要看一个社会公认的价值，需要更健全的方法和体系，比如使用XXX，这样会XXX，从而能得出XXX。

我只是试试写，可能不是最合适的~希望大家动脑来看问题，一起写出更好的内容
Taking into account all these factors, we may safely come to theconclusion that observing the appearance and behavior of people is an auxiliarymethod to realize a society's ideas and values. However, it will be very usefulin certain conditions.

总结下LZ的文章，我发现，其实文章的想法是比较好的，大概的方向正确了，但是如何立意深化，如何更好的结合例子，发展推理，得到结论，需要进一步锻炼。
我想就这个文章的思路，写一些自己关于审题和深化方面的东西，供大家批评和交流
其实写ISSUE，我感觉，很重要的是先审题，按照分析ARGUMENT题目这样的方式来看ISSUE的题目，也许你会发现蛮有意思的，那这个题目举例，逻辑链是这样的：
People’s appearance reveals attitudes and interests---》能看出一个社会的价值！
那么分析一下，要怎么写呢？
按照ARGUMENT的逻辑，不攻击事实，攻击事实链接观点的部分~那么：
1.人们的衣着能看出他们的观点么？
2.人们的衣着即使能看出价值，那么能从这个来看社会价值么？

好，那么我们就从这个入手，来详细展开，如果是骑墙派的，到时候加一小段不是一边倒的观点就好

文章可以这么写：
1.人们的衣着能看得出观点，举例：这些观点能体现价值，体现群体性，体现群体性共性的东西
2.人们的衣着不能准确的表达观点，不能作为唯一依据，反例：首先，可能存在制服，其次，
你说一个穿西装的奥巴马和一个穿西装的学生能有共同的思想么？
3.即使群体性的观点和态度能从服装举止上来被观察到，但是，这个就是真的社会额观点了么？
一个群体能代表整个社会么？即使能代表，那么群体与群体之间的平衡呢？那个群体才是主流呢？或者没有主流，大家都一样发展？即使能平衡，主流的几个群体之间的观点能协调，或者一致么？引出话题那么什么才是真正社会的观点呢？
4.最后，社会的观点和价值的是一个复杂的东西，但是可以提取一些共性的东西，比如需要教育，比如礼仪，比如英雄，比如需要民主体制，但是，这些是植根于更广泛的东西中的，不是从服装中能看出来的，举例：…

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[每日一评] Argument 150 by ieyangj08--A的论证如何深入

这次的每日一评来自ieyangj08。文章的基本构架没有很大的问题，但论述中有一个大家常犯的错误，即论证不到位。
原文：https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1057653-1-1.html

Argument 150 The following is a letter to the editor of an environmental magazine.
"The decline in the numbers of amphibians worldwide clearly indicates the global pollution of water and air. Two studies of amphibians in Yosemite National Park in California confirm my conclusion. In 1915 there were seven species of amphibians in the park, and there were abundant numbers of each species. However, in 1992 there were only four species of amphibians observed in the park, and the numbers of each species were drastically reduced. The decline in Yosemite has been blamed on the introduction of trout into the park's waters, which began in 1920 (trout are known to eat amphibian eggs). But the introduction of trout cannot be the real reason for the Yosemite decline because it does not explain the worldwide decline."
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作者的思路
1 仅用一个公园内两栖动物的减少不能说明全球两栖动物的减少。其他地区可能增加。公园两栖动物的品种有限。
2 全球两栖动物数量减少不能说明全球水和大气的污染。过渡捕捞、气候变暖。(气候变暖与大气污染也是有关系的~大气中二氧化碳和甲烷的含量的上升导致气候变暖)
3 公园内两栖动物的减少可能由于其他原因。饲养方式、当地气候变化。
我觉得你还漏掉了一个关键的错误。作者说But the introduction of trout cannot be the real reason…但他没有提供否定的原因。很可能鳟鱼的引入导致Y公园两栖动物数量下降，而作者忽略了这种可能。

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Citing the two studies results of amphibians in Yosemite National Park, the author comes to the conclusion that the descent in the numbers of world’s amphibians indicates global water and air are polluted. However, this argument is based on a series of unproven assumptions, which render it unconvincing as it stands.
One such assumption is that the world’s amphibians are declining.(不能说两栖动物下降。只能说它们数量下降) Even though the survey data in a certain park shows a downward trend, the author ignores the number of amphibians in other places of the world. It is totally possible that those numbers show an upward trend, and the gross number of the amphibians in the world is actually increasing. Unless the author could provide exact data to demonstrate the amphibians in other places are also gradually (原文没提到gradually，只说了drastically。所以有些不严密) disappearing, his assumption is dubious.
这一段论证得不错
The author’s claim that the decline in global amphibians indicates the world’s water and air are polluted is open to doubt. (我觉得你这里最好加一句，说明还有其他原因可能导致两栖动物数量下降。否则，你又凭什么假定你说的那两种因素导致该后果呢？) On the one hand, over-hunting might be blamed for these declines, which greatly undermined the ecological balance.(这里有小问题。你说过度捕猎可能导致数量下降，但又没有将它与下降建立直接联系。只说了破坏生态平衡。这里最好说的具体些。因为生态平衡并不等同与两栖动物数量下降) On the other hand,(逻辑词使用错误。on the one hand…on the other hand 通常用来描述对立面，而你这里想表达并列的意思) the augment in world’s population number might influence the living circumstance of amphibians, thus reduce (reducing) their numbers by degrees.(同样没有说出，你为什么认为这会导致下降这一后果。你只是提出了可能性，而缺乏推进的过程。) In short, without providing solid evidences that other reasons are all irrational, the author’s proposal is unpersuasive.
Finally, the decrease in quantity of amphibians in Yosemite National Park might be due to other explanations. For example, trout really eat(s) overdue amphibians’ eggs, and amphibians can’t reproduce regularly. Or perhaps, the park has adopted new rearing methods (+in) recent years, and (but) unfortunately they are inappropriate (inappropriate to/for sth) with the park environment, therefore the number of amphibians is dropping (个人觉得你的推理还缺乏关键环节。你只是通过新规定与公园环境不符而推出两栖动物数量下降，却没有解释为什么). If either of the cases is true, the global amphibians’ decline couldn’t indicate the global air and water pollution.
All in all, this argument relies on certain unwarranted assumptions and therefore specious at best (个人很喜欢at best这个用法。感觉委婉而不失客观性). To convince readers to accept his/her conclusion that reduction of global amphibians indicates the world’s air and water pollution,(个人不推荐之前用过的原句照搬照抄，可以换种说法啊~) the author should provide information on trend of amphibians numbers in other places of the world, and other causes that might affect amphibians in a global scale or within the park.

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[每日一评] Issue203 By Child -- 论述应当注意连接词使用

本期的每日一评来自Child童鞋，原文链接：https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1056609-1-1.html

Issue 203: the best way to understand the character of a society is to examine the character of the men and women that the society chooses as its heroes and heroines.

The speaker claims understanding of the portraits of a society can be largely achieved by knowing the characters of its heroes and heroines. While I concede that sometimes the characters of the heroes （and heroines，还是说完吧，小心碰到美国女权主义者给你改作文咩=.=）of a society do reflect the characters of itself, in more situations（一般不说in more situations吧，看到滴都是...with more situations or give more situations，你想表达在很多种情况下的意思咩？in more cases比较好吧..）, the characters of the heroes （and heroines）are what the society lakes（lacks吧..） and therefore values.

这段写得中规中矩吧，开头的portraits of a society用得赞，而后只是将题目原文改述一次，其实简述就好了，你倒是把句子越变越长，然后你才提出自己观点。I concede that sometimes看上去就是部分赞成的做法，但是in more cases之后，提出的最后一句却是反对的说法，提出英雄的特质是社会缺乏的所以才称赞这个观点，觉得这两点之间缺少一点的逻辑连接词。是否需要一个However咩。

Sometimes, the characters of the heroes and heroines indeed reflect the characters of a society.（TS之后，直接用两种分类举例，说的是某一现象，是否需要有逻辑词链接一下咩? ）The（这个特指是特质什么涅？） people who are brave and adventurous are more readily picked up as heroes in a invasive and aggressive society; and（分号和and的作用是一样的，舍一） people who are reflective and have deep and incisive thoughts are likely to be treated as heroes in a knowledgeable society. （你这里算是分情况讨论了，但是你TS里的sometimes难道只有这两种情况咩？社会仅仅分为invasive and aggressive society and knowledgeable society而没有其他的社会形式出现咩？未免片面，所以不建议TS之后直接说这一现象，因为片面不代表全面。合适的逻辑词可以帮你避免这样的分歧。）For example, in America, where individualism is highly valued and is a main character of the society, people are chosen as heroes （and heroines）because they have leadership（是否应该是quaility/character of leadership?） and can lead Americans to fight for their freedom. Such heroes range from George Washington to Lincoln. On the contrary, in countries like China and Japan, where collectivism characterizes the society, those people chosen as heroes are modest, and sacrifice for the whole society.（时态有误，换成：those who were chosen as heroes (were) modest, and sacrificed for the whole society） In this way, people can understand the character of the society by looking at the characters of its heroes.

However, in more circumstances, the heroes and heroines are picked up because they have the characters that the society lacks, therefore, to examine their characters helps little to understand the characters of the society. To understand this, one need（needs） to look no further than（虽然我google到了look的用法，但还是建议换成see，see no future than 似乎用得更多一点） the following example. Several months ago, three university students in China lost their precious and young life to safe a drowning boy. After the accident, people are moved and touched by their selfless action, which the society lacks these days.（社会缺少的行为就能被人们所moved and touched?你是否应该加一些逻辑限定词呢?） They are respected as heroes because the society lacks characters like sacrificing and helping others.（你这里明显前后逻辑矛盾啊，你上一段提到sacrificed for the whole society是可以通过understand the character of the heros and heroines来understand the society，这里又变成了because the society lacks characters like this...你要不就把前一段的举例换掉，要不就把这个例子换掉，不然前后逻辑自我矛盾。） If their behaviors are repeated in the society, perhaps they won't be regarded as heroes.（这个句子应该是表猜测，为啥不用虚拟语气咧，if ... had been..., ...should have been...，当然，你不一定这么用，但你这句话有语法错误，还有还有，in the society是啥意思咧？嗯，最后，repeat表示的是重复一次，要是你想表示重复多次的意思的话，应该换成iterate） Therefore,（你这里的因此，是靠你之前的推断的出来的结论咩？那是不是换一个，在这种情况下这样子的连接词，感觉更严谨？） the heroes are usually chosen for their precious characters that are not common in the society, and if this is the case,（这个是啥米...） we cannot understand the characters of a society through the characters of its heroes and heroines.

Moreover, even if,（这里做插入语，前后都需要逗号） to examine the characters of the heroes is a good way to understand the portraits of the society, it is not the best way, because there are many other effective and good ways to understand the society.（it is a good way to..然后就是it is not the best way to..我暂且不说你这样的表达是否很Chinese-English，你这里的逻辑就已经大跳了啊，至少需要个but吧，当然，but也是远远不够的，你前后说的点都不一样，前面说的是understand the portraits of the society，后面说的却是effective，有效的理解和生动活跃理解也不是同一个问题吧，你自己将另外一个问题加到了你这个good but not best的逻辑里来，然后所有人都混乱了..） For example, the cultures and customs of the society are important indicators of its mental character. The life quality and habits, the communication efficiency and the city facilities are all significant demonstration of the physical characters of a society. Therefore, to understand the characters of a society, people need to look at different parts of it. Only（ONLY这样绝对化的词语尽量不要出现在AW的写作中，你没有足够的论据，你何以说Only呢？这不明显的逻辑漏洞么。你这里需要一个总结性的连接词就好。） in this way can we get a comprehensive idea of the whole city.

你这一段的论述，是想在两个观点里折中取一个，但是你在首段里并没有提到这一点吧。不过在如何抓住题目本质核心和合理推论上，也还是有很多不足的地方。你的逻辑推断和句法使用都有很严重的Chinese-English的倾向，没有合适逻辑词连接的一个逻辑跳跃到另外一个，rater看不懂的话，你的文章就成瞎编了，自然没有好印象。连接词用得好，即便你的文章有一些细微的逻辑谬误，不仔细挑的话，也不会出现太多问题，至少能做到，看上去，是正确的。

In sum, the characters of the heroes and heroines of a society sometimes do reflect the portraits of society, but in more cases, the characters of the heroes are what the society lack. So when people want to understand the society through knowing the characters of its heroes, they need to be careful and critical. The best way to understand the characters the characters of a society is to examine the different parts of it comprehensively.

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[每日一评] Issue50 By jinziqi -- 论述中应当找准立足点

本期的每日一评来自jinziqi童鞋的一篇issue,原文在此

https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1056652-1-1.html

50. In order to improve the quality of instruction at the college and university level, all faculty should be required to spend time working outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses they teach.

The author claims that all faculty need to find a relevant job in the society to improve the quality of instruction, which I can’t totally agree with. On one hand, it is really helpful to ask teachers to go outside academia to see the real society. On the other hand, it is hard to find a suitable job for some professors in literature field or art field, and it is also difficult to keep a balance on working well in a job and teaching well(native说法是：strike a balance between ... and ...) in the class at the same time. So, the author should not simply ask teachers to go outside the academy to work, but to think the issue from a whole perspective.

从第一段论述上看来中规中矩，虽然没有出彩的地方，但是提出了自己的看法：not totally agree with,也就是部分赞成，部分反对，那么下文一定是分情况讨论（我相信是分领域讨论，毕竟这样比较容易，比如数学物理就没必要出去，工程建筑就有必要出去），关键是看你的论述是如何支持你的分观点

In some fields, such as the electronic engineering and computer science, it is indeed helpful for faculty to see how the society applies what they have taught in the class to the reality. For most colleges and universities, education among undergraduates is the most fundamental, which is mainly to cultivate one’s interest so that he can choose a direction to develop in the future.(这句话放在这里是为了说明什么？跟TS没有关系的话，会让人误解你的本意) If professors know well about how every aspect is being developed in the society, he can tell the true story in the real world（立足点错了，faculty去实习，不是为了告诉true story, story读书上网都能看到，凭什么一定要工作才知道？这里最重要的是impart experience or lessons，这才是老师可以去工作的原因。后面的为了encourage什么，也不是最重要的原因，鼓励的话，奖品，荣誉，都能encourage,区区一个story作用太小了。只有亲身体验的经验教训，才是书本上读不到的，才是走上社会最需要的） to motivate students and encourage them to devote in one of directions in the area to develop it or discovery. Take the 3G as an example, if a professor knows the technique well in the market, he can not only teach the principle of 3G to his students, but also tell students about how the technique was developed to be applied in the real society and what kind of difficulty did they meet when spreading it to the world（这些知识仍然可以通过别的渠道获得，而且即使是工人，要了解这些也只限于做宣传和销售的人才能了解这块，并不是每一个worker都了解如何application的，所以你的这个例子对赞成工作没有区别。我甚至可以作为反对工作的一个例子，只要我改写成：“相对工作，教授们更应该注重积累教的东西的应用方面的知识，如果一个教授能查阅文书和相关资料获得一个东西是如何应用的，他同样可以.... 所以就没有必要出去工作。” 明白了么？既然要论述，就要论述unique的，用其他方法做不到的，personal experience or opinion就是之一）. These kinds of facts can tell students how to achieve their dream in the real society, which cannot be read in textbooks.

However, in other fields which are more theoretical, it is difficult to find a suitable job in the society. （前后文逻辑大跳！这一段的TS,你用强调句式强调了difficult（to find a suitable job），那么下文应该主要叙述的是为什么difficult,比如社会上对学科的不重视，或者工作机会不多等等，但是你下文笔锋一转，转到了：“这些老师在实验室当中或者一直思考问题，是更适合他们的”，跳动太大了。）For some professors whose major is math or physics, they may always stay in labs to compute a complicated condition or try to design an experiment to prove a theory to work out more issues, which is good for him to improve his ability in research, so that he can teach students clearly about the principles in one area. But because they lack of knowledge of other applied subjects, their talents will be wasted（这个waste怎么出来的，前后文没有任何的解释） on a specific job.

In addition, it is hard to balance the work and teaching at the same time. （漏掉了跟进的论述，会让你的example出现的过于突然，同时对TS的支持度减弱，因为rater无法明白你是如何把例子套到ts的观点上的。比如你在这里应该跟进类似这种的论述：“Working will take a bluk of spare time of professors and they would feel it difficult to arrange their time appropriately. As a result, both teaching and working will be influenced”）If a teacher, who teaches archaeology, goes outside the campus and finds a job and he is assigned to a village which is a long distance from the college, how can he teach in the class? It is true he will gain a lot of experience in the true condition when they excavate a body or a tomb, but he will definitely lose the opportunity of having classes for having no time. For these kinds of areas, some friends, working in the real environment, may be enough to know more information in detail about the real work. So, professor can ask them to make up the disadvantages(这句话虽然提出一个可行方案，但是你没有考虑到它直接和你第二段的论述矛盾了，读者就会想：“既然这里说可以问别人，问什么第二段你说一定要出去工作？同样问别人不行么？”). The most effective things that professors should teach his students are ways to research and how to make full use of one’s imagination to improve the area.

To sum up, making faculty go outside the academic world can do help sometimes, but for some professors, it is hard to put it into practice. The author should think this issue from an overall situation to fit for all faculty.

ieyangj08UID: 2743219

Issue1 习作学习

We can usually learn much more from people whose views we share than from people whose views contradict our own; disagreement can cause stress and inhibit learning.

From people whose views we share we get confidence, encouragement, and psychological satisfaction; from people whose views contradict our own we get new angles, fresh perspectives, and pertinent advices.  But excessive agreements would lead us to the morass of self-complacence; and extreme contradictions would weaken our determination of learning.  Thus we should fully recognize the potential danger of limiting our vision in one of the two sides.  And only through the approach of paying equal attention to both sides could we make further achievements in the process of         learning.

Views and ideas from people agree with us may raise our confidence, strengthen our courage, and enhance our psychological satisfaction.  According to common sense and our everyday experience, the propensity to accept the ideas from people who agree with us rather than the opinions from people disagree with us associates strongly with the nature of human beings, for we are social animals and it is the inner instinct of us to seek for approval of others.  Imagine, what would you react if the work accomplished by your arduous efforts receives fierce criticism or not even a glance?  You would lose your strength to march in the long road of learning.  On the contrary, agreements may cause the feeling of being accepted and consented, thus we gain the psychological satisfaction which will impulse us to learn more.  Moreover, customarily, we tend to imitate and share ideas and behaviors from our parents, friends, classmates and so forth, who are in the same group of ours.  By this way we form knowledge of our own.

Not under all circumstances we can learn from people whose views we share.  Only base on the premises that all the views of our assenters are authentic and sincere, however, could we learn useful knowledge from them.  On condition that people consent and even flatter us for certain purposes which have nothing to do with learning, our learning would be hindered instead of motivated.  We would be possessed in the illusive pride and limited in a narrow bound of vision.  Consequently, we can see that the speaker’s assertion is incomplete and oversimplified.

Contradicting views and ideas could aware us of the mistakes and flaws in our work which we can not discover by ourselves, bring us fresh angles and perspectives, and then make our work mature and complete. Thereby through the discussion and competition both we and the people disagree with us could make advancements in our learning.  Debate on the same subject make it possible for human beings to make most of the achievements and advances on fields of science, technology, philosophy and the like.  If we see only on the one side of the coin, we could get only a partial and distorted knowledge and view which might mislead our learning.  

Also, contradiction may cause negative effects under certain conditions, especially when the debate becomes irrational denouncement or personal attack.  Then our confidence would be impaired by the criticisms and our learning inhibited by the stress excessive contradictions brings us.  Disagreements would be detrimental rather than beneficial to our learning under this circumstance.

Bias on each of the two sides is detrimental to our learning for those agreements and disagreements form an organic entity which can not be absolutely divided.  Over reliance on one side is blind and unwise.  Agreements base on no evidence are actually flatters; disagreements without rational reasons are reprimands.  We would be enmeshed in the web of self-contention sewed by ourselves and could not go ahead if we are blinded by the flatters; we would be frozen in the chilly night of darkness created by reprimands and became helpless and hopeless.  We must pay equal attentions on both sides to see the whole picture.

To sum up, ideas of people whose views we share and people whose views contradict our own play their respective roles in our learning, and none of them should be neglected. Therefore, balance between both sides is needed.  And only through this way could we achieve the further goal in our process of learning.

文章展开套路为正-补 反-补，推理严谨、细致，很值得学习

ieyangj08UID: 2743219

2.10
      近几天的I&A修改的收获
    Argument 推理要细致，由A---C，改为A----B---C。中间段落应扩展为主题句、主题句分析、可能性推断。
    Issue段落应修改为主题句、跟进论述、引出例子。跟主题无关的废话不写，阐述要细致。例子要有力。
    Issue文章结构:  首段:背景信息、主题句、文章概要.
                    层面升华：学术层面、社会层面（过分强调某事）、个人层面
                    正反论证
    终于又有Reborn组的作业了，进程安排很合理，不紧也不慢，,撒花庆贺之~

ieyangj08UID: 2743219

有些考前焦虑，感谢irvine666斑竹的及时解惑。

余下18天我需要做的事情:
1.继续熟悉题库
2.大量的阅读，保持语感
3.每天把你以前写过的AW拿过来，对照AWINTRO的评分标准，彻底全部重新改，有什么改过的东西都记下来，然后考前3天看
4.考前10天开始模考，上午8点开始模考，晚上10点去自改你的1I1A。

ieyangj08UID: 2743219

改作文比重新写还累，关键是舍不得删以前写的内容。

ieyangj08UID: 2743219

argument173 优秀习作学习 The following is a memorandum issued by the publisher of a newsmagazine, Newsbeat, in the country of Dinn.

'Our poorest-selling magazine issues over the past three years were those that featured international news stories on their front covers. Over the same period, competing news-magazines have significantly decreased the number of cover stories that they devote to international news. Moreover, the cost of maintaining our foreign bureaus to report on international news is increasing. Therefore, we should decrease our emphasis on international news and refrain from displaying such stories on our magazine covers.'

In this argument, the arguer draws the conclusion that the newsmagazine should decrease its emphasis on international news and refrain from displaying such stories on its magazine covers.  作者结论 To substantiate his conclusion, the arguer cites the experience of another competing news-magazines, and he also assumes a decreasing costs of international bureaus. 作者依据 While this argument seems somewhat specific and plausible at first glance, close inspection would reveal it fraught with vague, oversimplified and unwarranted claims in several aspects. 原文不足

First of all, the arguer fails to convince us the cause of poorest selling magazine issues is the covers featured by international news.  主题句 It is presumptuous for the arguer to simply impose all the problems to the covers, because covers is only one features of a magazine,  generally speaking, readers may much concern the contents or features of a magazine rather than the covers.  主题句分析 Perhaps, the poorest selling lies in the contents of such magazine are out of date or out of people's taste, or because the editorials of judging the national events are not objective enough for the readers to read, therefore, people are reluctant to purchase this international news-covered magazines. 可能性分析 Unless the arguer could recognize and rule out other possibilities relevant to the sells of these magazines, the conclusion is quite unfounded.

In addition, there is no evidence to demonstrate that the competing news-magazines have made progressed or made profits after decreasing the number of cover stories about the international news, and we will not necessarily learn the experience of others.  主题句 On the contrary, it is much more likely that it is because our competitors cannot maintain its readers in contrast with us that they give up the field of international news-covered magazines.  可能性分析 For this reason, it might be just a good opportunity for our magazine to take over the whole market, therefore, the arguer's recommendation that changing the cover is quite open to doubt.  攻击原文

Last but not least, the increasing costs of foreign bureaus to report international news, does not represent we should decrease such kind of costs in order to reducing the whole costs and make profits.  主题句 First, no evidence is show that this increasing trend will continue and our company cannot afford such an increase, thus the simply reduction of international bureaus is unwise.  主题句展开 Granted that the increasing trend will continue in the future, it does not necessarily follow that our company should cut the costs supporting them.  让步 Since if reducing the fund of international bureaus, the fact might be that such bureaus could not work effectively and efficiently to report more rapidly.  让步展开 And suppose our magazine is just famous and well known for our international news, without which, how could we still maintain our consumers and compete with other rivals. 可能性分析

To sum up, the argument is neither logically sound nor persuasive.  To better bolster and strengthen the argument, the arguer needs to guarantee us that the international news covers is the only reason contribute to the poorest selling and the costs spending on international bureaus is far surpassed beyond their needs.  Only with more convincing evidence could this argument become more than just an emotional appeal.

ieyangj08UID: 2743219

reborn组作文互改 第一组作业

issue13          https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1059816-1-1.html
issue221        https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1059877-1-1.html
argument173  https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1060000-1-1.html

ieyangj08UID: 2743219

银落斑竹的 关于限时的思考

1.什么时候限时比较好。

对于A。我限时限得比较早。原因有三个
一．    是模板。因为A其实不用模板对于大多数人是不可能的。而你对模板的熟悉程度必须达到不用脑子想。手就能够自动在键盘上打出相应的句子。而这个过程是需要长时间练习的。我当初练了两个月。练到我打这几个句子我就想吐得地步。
二．    是错误类型。A的错误类型虽然可以分为很明显的几大类。并且很多人对每一类都套了一个固定的模板。但我觉得。模板句不能用在为什么这个错误错了。而应该用在指出这是什么错误。所以。限时早还能锻炼一下你指出错误的他因的能力。而不要老是套用固定的格式。这一点除了能够提高逻辑分析能力以外，还能够提高我后面提到的，为什么很多人在限时了就没办法发挥正常水平了的问题。
三．    是提纲。这个我在第5个问题的时候会详细点说。

对于I。我则是提前了一个月开始限时。因为一般人都会经历三个阶段。至少我是前三个阶段。
一．    限时了。我写不完。
二．    写完了。感觉极差。还不如不写
三．    可以写完。自己虽然会觉得欠缺一点。但是觉得考试应该没问题了。
四．    很可惜。我达到的水准不高。所以我自己觉得第四个阶段应该是行云流水的。我没达到。

2.平时写得好。但一到限时就完全不是那个状态了怎么办。

我觉得。这类的问题对于I会比较多一点。A的话。大家应该有固定的模板。不会太成问题。所以就只谈下I。如果有童鞋想要我说下A的话。我会再补充。

对于I。原因很简单。两个。
一．    平时写作的时候。有很多书和软件可以查。单词不会可以查。语法不懂可以查。模板句可以挑着用。但是限时的时候，我们可是什么都没有的。一台电脑。一个不变的考试界面屏幕。有限的时间节点。所以。我们就变成了一张白纸。至于怎么办。在问题3中我会给出解答
二．    限时和不限时最大的区别在于紧张和不紧张。如果没有限时。写累了。在房间里躺一会。倒杯水。听听音乐。等有了思路我们再继续。很轻松。但有了限时就有了压力。人一有压力。脑子就会停止供电。一片空白。也就是说。高压限制了我们自身的水平。

3.如何才能达到限时写的文章和平时练习的一样。

一．    把我们平时查的单词。用的句子。喜欢的好词好句以及模板都背下来。否则。平时查的东西查过以后就忘记了。还不如别查。不然反而给自己造成一种优越感。以为查好后写出来的文章就是自己的真实水平。这到了后期时间很恐怖的事情。
二．    如果想在高压下最大限度的显示自己的水平。那么你所呈现给ets的东西一定是你滚瓜烂熟的东西。也就是说。你平日去看economist啊。Times啊之类的文章所收录的好词好句好例子要精。而不要泛泛撒网。太过贪心。选中一个。好好研究。举一反三。争取能够达到A的模板句的熟练度。这样，高压下才可以把这些烂熟于心的好宝贝一一晒给ets看。关键在于熟和精。而不是多。记住。质大于量。
三．    提纲问题。对于提纲。一定要训练自己平时再短时间内思考题目列出提纲的能力。因为你不能保证自己在考场上遇到的题目你一定自己写过。我当时的A就是100以外的绝对低频。而且。这种能力不仅仅是一个列提纲的能力。而是短时间立刻组织出自己的文章逻辑架构的能力。提纲列好了。文章一目了然。骨架建好以后。完全就是怎么填充血肉的事情了。所以。这个很关键。
四．    练过一段时间。你可以缩短自己的限时时间。因为毕竟平时再怎么限时。肯定都到达不了考试的那种紧张程度的。事实证明。我就是这样。所以我当初。A和I个缩短了五分钟。并且。还会再电脑上放些音乐。同时还要听着键盘音的mp3。总之。就是要在平时再对自己干扰一下。如果平时就只是正正好好。勉强过关。考试的时候会后悔的。

4.限时的时候到底应该注意哪些要点（附加提高限时水平的五个阶段）。

如果离考试时间不多了。并且觉得自己佛教抱不动的童鞋。下面是我给出限时的阶段要求。能达到哪个要求。就尽力达到哪个要求。但一定要按照一二三四的步骤一步步提升。不然。结果很可能是捡了芝麻丢了西瓜。（尽管我们知道芝麻有营养，但是人家ets喜欢吃西瓜，我们能奈何？）
一．    要练速度。你总得在规定时间内写完文章吧。不然。你文笔再好。结构再清晰。那也没用。你文章没写完。人家ets肯定不会再给你高分。而且。大家看了intro。也知道文章没完的惨重吧。
二．    在保证写完的情况下，开始提高你限时内的语法。不然。就算你逻辑再好。也一样会因为语法问题而被打压。再说。语法出问题。人家ets可能根本就看不懂你想表达的意思。
三．    当语法基本ok。文章也可以完成的情况下。这个时候。就要加深文章的思想度了。因为。AW考的是逻辑。而不是绚烂的文笔。这个看看intro我们也能够明白ets是注重逻辑远远大于文笔的。所以。好好磨练自己的逻辑思维。想要拿高分这是绝对绝对的关键。
四．    在思想之后。则可以开始攻克语言关。也就是说。开始要文邹邹了。当然。文字的提升不是一下子就能够做到的。是个长期积累的过程。平时就需要练习。我放在第四点说。是想说如果你前三点不是特别有把握的话。那么在语言上可以少下一点功夫。把精力和心思都放在前三点的练习上。但绝不是停止不练习哦。练得少没关系。只要积累着就行。中心句一定要是复杂句。多背背副词和连词以及标志词和插入语。有些词语。它的中文意思的使用频率很高。比如重要。认为。这种词一定要准备很多。不要再文章里反复用一个单词。最好形式也能够不一样。形容词。名词。动词。全都需要转换。
For example：重要
consequent，significant，vital，necessary，momentous，central，essential，principal（adj）
of importance，a moment of，a magnitude of（n）
carry weight，emphasize，highlight，signifiy，matter（v）
五．   最后就是字数上的要求了。到底要写多少字。没人说得清。字数少可以。但前提是你的逻辑能力极强。文章结构极度清晰。否则。试想一下。Issue里面的题目全都是当下最热门的争议话题。短短的文章能够诠释清楚自己的观点？所以。个人觉得字数必须限制个底线。高于这个底线完全没有问题。它取决于你的能力。但是。决不能低于这个底线。

5.限时的时候要不要把思考提纲的时间也一起算进去。

这个其实也分两个过程。
一．     刚开始限时的时候。可以是在有了提纲以后。但是这个时候。你一定要练习短时间列提纲的训练。我在第3个问题的回答里也提到了。
二．    接着则是在限时里面开始思考。这一步是一定要做的。而且。如果时间来不及了的话。就直接跳过第一阶段。训练第二阶段。一切都要以考试的现场模拟效果来定标准的。
三．    我个人对于A是。刚开始有提纲再限时写。然后是在打第一段的时候，边打边想提纲，打完了，基本就想完了。最后则是留出五分钟空白时间。一心看题目想提纲。然后二十分钟写文章。再预留五分钟作为临考备战。我在考试的时候采取的是空留三分钟。接着没想完。然后。再边打第一段。一边再想。
          个人对于I是。刚开始依然是有提纲再限时写。接着我发现我往往会不按提纲来写。而是会发散。或者偏题。这往往是因为我忘了模板是什么。而且会发现没有东西好写。有的提纲的几点有点重意了。于是我就开始练习直接拿到题目预留空白几分钟。想个清楚。结构定好再写。把提纲的内容基本都事先写好。然后再写第一段。再填充每一段的内容。

ieyangj08UID: 2743219

2.11
离考试还有18天，修改了之前写的两篇issue，写和改了一篇argument，完成了reborn组的第一组作业。关机，继续熟悉题库和语言。

ieyangj08UID: 2743219

2.12
     修改作文感悟
    1 段落的主题句要精准，issue的首段也是如此。
    2 行文要流畅，易懂，未必要使用高级词汇和句式。
    3 段落要围绕文章的主要任务展开，让步和意义的目的只是使得文章结构更完整。
    4 避免把题目审偏，尤其是已写过同类型的题目。

ieyangj08UID: 2743219

今天感冒了，修改了几篇作文，晚上还重写了一篇。感冒又重写作文的感觉真的很不好啊。