1006G 备考日记 by ieyangj08——行胜于言

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学习了一下大家的帖子，笔记比我做的简单、明了，改进之：）

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二、如何处理复杂顺序：

1三“W”法

Even short essays perform several different operations: introducing the argument, analyzing data, raising counter-arguments, concluding.  

"What?" ：What evidence shows that the phenomenon described by your thesis is true?   It shouldn't take up much more than a third (often much less) of your finished essay.   

"How?" ：How does the thesis stand up to the challenge of a counter-argument? How does the introduction of new material?

"Why?"  ：Why does your interpretation of a phenomenon matter to anyone beside you? Although you might gesture at this question in your introduction, the fullest answer to it properly belongs at your essay's end.  

2 Mapping an Essay

Essay maps ask you to predict where your reader will expect background information, counter-argument, close analysis of a primary source, or a turn to secondary source material.  

*   State your thesis in a sentence or two, then write another sentence saying why it's important to make that claim.  “why”

*   Begin your next sentence like this: "To be convinced by my claim, the first thing a reader needs to know is . . ." Then say why that's the first thing a reader needs to know, and name one or two items of evidence you think will make the case.  "what"   

*   Begin each of the following sentences like this: "The next thing my reader needs to know is . . ." Once again, say why, and name some evidence. Continue until you've mapped out your essay.  

避免写成堆积型：A common structural flaw in college essays is the "walk-through" (also labeled "summary" or "description"). Walk-through essays follow the structure of their sources rather than establishing their own. Such essays generally have a descriptive thesis rather than an argumentative one. Be wary of paragraph openers that lead off with "time" words ("first," "next," "after," "then") or "listing" words ("also," "another," "in addition").

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段落内部的关系

一、段落的基本概念

1 段落的作用
An informative paragraph should tell your readers all they need to know about a single idea, in a logical sequence, without wasting their time with irrelevant detail.段落基本的三要素：一个独立的观点－和Thesis密切相关、一个合理的逻辑顺序、没有无关细节
The structure of a paragraph parallels the structure of an essay in order as well as content.

2段落的长短问题
An essay is like a girl's skirt-it should be long enough to cover the topic(body) and short enough to be interesting!
 过短的段落说明信息不足，论证不充分，观点的选择比较肤浅，论述的范围比较窄。
 过长的段落说明信息冗余，或者不相关细节过多，讨论过宽。

二、 段落的组成结构

1  The topic sentence
有两个作用：是本段话题的Thesis；是全文Thesis的进一步推广和具体化；一般来说，TS总是在段落开头的第一或者第二句话。
2  Supporting evidence/analysis
由论据和论证组成，为了合理的论证TS. 在论据和论证之间找到一个平衡
3  The conclusion(observation)
在文章的最后一句或者倒数第二句。结论句除了总结上文的论述，还要在此总结上做好向下一个分论点的过度。

段落组成实例
In modern America, as it happens, the importance of overlooking is probably greater than ever before.  Even a person trying to lead a quiet, simple life encounters an endless stream of annoyances, errors and petty demands such as paperwork, filing numbers and taxes; long lines at the bank; exponentially aggravating traffic jams and sullen, uncooperative coworkers and neighbors.  Those of us who cannot overlook such annoyances will invariably succumb to self-defeating dismay.

三、段落组成的内容

内容基本原则
Orient your reader to the subject.
Tie your ideas together.
Take it easy through technically dense passages.
Arrange your ideas in a logical sequence.

You need to give your readers signposts frequently along the way.

1  USE ORIENTING WORDS AND PHRASES
of course ，as you know ，until now ，obviously ，normally ，previously ，everyone is familiar with ，remember that

2   LET THE NEW AMPLIFY THE OLD
As you link the old with the new, avoid the traditional chronological approach that lists the old things before the new. Usually, you are interested in the old merely as a contrast with the new. For example:
The new Videx compact video disk player weighs one-third and costs less than half of the 1992 model. Furthermore, it can hold up to six times as much programming and uses tiny 3-inch disks instead of the bulky 12-inch ones.

3        ADD EXPLANATORY WORDS AND PHRASES
Generally, the more complex the ideas you have to present, the more explanatory material you will need. In general, it's a good idea to put in more explanations than you think you need .

四、段内句子连接

三个原则
Unity-所有句子讲同一个主题
Coherence－句子之间相互关联，共同构成有机整体
Connection－适当的连接句子

1 利用逻辑连接词连接段落
You'll need some "glue" to bind your sentences together. A paragraph should form a single logical unit.  
1)   Connective words that describe relationships
Also, however, although, incidentally顺便提一下, therefore, besides, likewise同样地, thus, meanwhile, moreover, usually, furthermore, next, whatever, generally, yet, accordingly 因此, nevertheless然而
2)   Connectives that give a sense of time
First, secondly, finally, now, once, when, ultimately, eventually, lastly, later, meanwhile, previously, then, soon, formerly, sometimes
3)   Other Connective phrases
To begin with, on the other hand, in brief, in general, more specifically更具体地说, instead of, in addition to, in other words, another way to, for the same reason, no matter what, such a, that’s what/why, in fact, what’s more, in the same way, on the contrary, conversely, as a result, summing up, if so/not  

2利用重复
TRY TO HAVE A WORD OR PHRASE SOMEWHERE IN EACH SENTENCE THAT REFERS TO SOMETHING IN A PREVIOUS SENTENCE.  
1)   pronominal adjectives
this, that, these, which, their, his, its, her
2)   人称和其他代词指代
Dr. Quark testified that the only scientific value of creationism lies in its position among primitive superstitions and mythologies. His testimony helped strike down laws requiring its teachings to be included in biology textbooks.
3)   Simple repetition. Carry the same nouns from one sentence to the next. 核心词重复
Scientists map the winds and precipitation inside hurricanes by flying specially instrumented aircraft through them. These aircraft must withstand stresses of up to six times the force of gravity.
All the sentences in a paragraph should be logically related.

３利用强调词 INTENSIVES
1)The whale is the largest living mammal. The largest whales weigh over 150 tons, are 100 feet long, and consume 5 tons of food each day.
The whale is by far the largest living mammal. In fact, the largest whales weigh as much as 150 tons and grow as long as 100 feet. These enormous animals consume 5 tons of food each day.
2)useful intensives
Especially, as much as, even if/though, increasingly, by far, so…that, more importantly, highly, only, particularly, in fact, very, significantly, quite, such, most, unique, at all, above all, indeed, in any case
Misusing or overusing intensives can weaken your writing. Use them like garlic -- sparingly.

ieyangj08UID：2743219

Exercise  

Global Airlines carried three-million passengers last year, and this number has increased by 200% compared with two years ago. This tremendous growth is due to many reasons. To begin with, the Global Airlines expanded their routes into the Pacific Northwest and Canada. In the next place, they chose to use the new DC-12 aircraft which proved more fuel-efficient than the older 737's. Moreover, older, unprofitable routes were dropped. Once more, on-time flights and automatic ticketing were used, which won more favorite from passengers than the old traditional ones. Lastly, the most important reason is their record has been accident-free since 1950.For above reasons, Global planes have averaged 80-percent full last year, and profits were up 60 percent, in spite of increased fuel costs.

这个练习很好的训练了将一些零散的句子组织成段落的能力，的确是目前写作中遇到的一个重要的问题。

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如何有效论证

1   如何使用论据论证？
1) Offer evidence that agrees with your stance up to a point, then add to it with ideas of your own.
2) Present evidence that contradicts your stance in order to argue against (refute) it and therefore strengthen your position
3) Use sources against each other, as if they are experts on a panel discussing your proposition
4) Use quotations to support your assertion, not merely to state or restate your claim. Weak and Strong Uses of Evidence

2 In order to use evidence effectively, you need to integrate it smoothly into your paragraph
o State your claim.
o Give your evidence, remembering to relate it to the claim.
o Comment on the evidence to show how it supports the claim

2   Weak Use of Evidence
1)  Today, we are too self-centered. Most families no longer sit down to eat together, preferring instead to eat on the go while rushing to the next appointment . Everything is about what we want.    The writer doesn’t explain the connection．
Stronger Use of Evidence
2)   Today, Americans are too self-centered. Even our families don't matter as much anymore as they once did. Other people and activities take precedence. In fact, the evidence shows that most American families no longer eat together, preferring instead to eat on the go while rushing to the next appointment. Sit-down meals are a time to share and connect with others; however, that connection has become less valued, as families begin to prize individual activities over shared time, promoting self-centeredness over group identity．前者显得零散、跳跃性大，后者逻辑紧凑，为一逻辑整体

Discussing your evidence’s significance develops and expands a paper. Remember that your job during the course of your essay is to persuade your readers that your claims are feasible and the most effective way of interpreting the evidence.

3    Questions to Ask Yourself When Revising Your Paper
1) Do I avoid generalizing in my paper by specifically explaining how my evidence is representative?
2) Have I offered my reader evidence to substantiate each assertion I make in my paper?
3) Do I thoroughly explain why/how my evidence backs up my ideas?
4) Do I provide evidence that not only confirms but also qualifies my paper’s main claims?
5) Do I use evidence to test and evolve my ideas, rather than to just confirm them?
6) Do I cite my sources thoroughly and correctly?

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Strategies for Writing a Conclusion

Conclusions are often the most difficult part of an essay to write. Your conclusion should be the best part of your paper.

1   A conclusion should
stress the importance of the thesis statement, 强化主题  
give the essay a sense of completeness, and  完善全文
leave a final impression on the reader. 给读者一个深刻的印象

2   Suggestions
1）Answer the question "So What?"  强调文章的重要性
2）Synthesize, don't summarize
Show them how the points you made and the support and examples you used were not random, but fit together.
3）Redirect your readers
Give your reader something to think about, perhaps a way to use your paper in the "real" world. If your introduction went from general to specific, make your conclusion go from specific to general. Think globally. Propose a course of action, a solution to an issue, or questions for further study.
4）Create a new meaning
By demonstrating how your ideas work together, you can create a new picture.  
5）Point to broader implications.
For example, if your paper examines the Greensboro sit-ins or another event in the Civil Rights Movement, you could point out its impact on the Civil Rights Movement as a whole. A paper about the style of writer Virginia Woolf could point to her influence on other writers or on later feminists.

3 Strategies
1)  Echoing the introduction  呼应开头  Your essay was helpful in creating a new understanding.
Introduction
From the parking lot, I could see the towers of the castle of the Magic Kingdom standing stately against the blue sky. To the right, the tall peak of The Matterhorn rose even higher. From the left, I could hear the jungle sounds of Adventure land. As I entered the gate, Main Street stretched before me with its quaint shops evoking an old-fashioned small town so charming it could never have existed. I was entranced. Disneyland may have been built for children, but it brings out the child in adults.
Conclusion
I thought I would spend a few hours at Disneyland, but here I was at 1:00 A.M., closing time, leaving the front gates with the now dark towers of the Magic Kingdom behind me. I could see tired children, toddling along and struggling to keep their eyes open as best they could. Others slept in their parents' arms as we waited for the parking lot tram that would take us to our cars. My forty-year-old feet ached, and I felt a bit sad to think that in a couple of days I would be leaving California, my vacation over, to go back to my desk. But then I smiled to think that for at least a day I felt ten years old again.划线部分都是和前面呼应的部分
2) Challenging the reader  挑战读者的思维  
Though serving on a jury is not only a civic responsibility but also an interesting experience, many people still view jury duty as a chore that interrupts their jobs and the routine of their daily lives. However, juries are part of America's attempt to be a free and just society. Thus, jury duty challenges us to be interested and responsible citizens.
3)  Looking to the future   
Without well-qualified teachers, schools are little more than buildings and equipment. If higher-paying careers continue to attract the best and the brightest students, there will not only be a shortage of teachers, but the teachers available may not have the best qualifications. Our youth will suffer. And when youth suffers, the future suffers.
4)  Posing questions  
Campaign advertisements should help us understand the candidate's qualifications and positions on the issues. Instead, most tell us what a boob or knave the opposing candidate is, or they present general images of the candidate as a family person or God-fearing American. Do such advertisements contribute to creating an informed electorate or a people who choose political leaders the same way they choose soft drinks and soap?

4 Strategies to Avoid
Beginning with an unnecessary, overused phrase such as "in conclusion," "in summary," or "in closing."  
Stating the thesis for the very first time in the conclusion.
Introducing a new idea or subtopic in your conclusion.
Ending with a rephrased thesis statement without any substantive changes.  没有实质变化
Making sentimental, emotional appeals.
Including evidence (quotations, statistics, etc.) that should be in the body of the paper.

5  Four Kinds of Ineffective Conclusions
1）The "That's My Story and I'm Sticking to It" Conclusion. 重复书写式
This conclusion just restates the thesis and is usually painfully short. It does not push the ideas forward. People write this kind of conclusion when they can't think of anything else to say. Example: In conclusion, Frederick Douglass was, as we have seen, a pioneer in American education, proving that education was a major force for social change with regard to slavery.
2）The "Sherlock Holmes" Conclusion. 谜底最后揭开式
Example: (After a paper that lists numerous incidents from the book but never says what these incidents reveal about Douglass and his views on education): So, as the evidence above demonstrates, Douglass saw education as a way to undermine the slaveholders' power and also an important step toward freedom.
3） The "America the Beautiful"/"I Am Woman"/"We Shall Overcome" Conclusion.情感非分析式
A more sophisticated commentary, rather than emotional praise, would be a more fitting tribute to the topic. Bad Example: Because of the efforts of fine Americans like Frederick Douglass, countless others have seen the shining beacon of light that is education. His example was a torch that lit the way for others. Frederick Douglass was truly an American hero.
4） The "Grab Bag" Conclusion. 添加主题没有的细节式
Bad Example: In addition to being an educational pioneer, Frederick Douglass provides an interesting case study for masculinity in the American South. He also offers historians an interesting glimpse into slave resistance when he confronts Covey, the overseer. His relationships with female relatives reveal the importance of family in the slave community.

ieyangj08UID：2743219

关于字数的帖子

信息密度X字数 = 信息传递量, which is the thing raters care.

不是字数而是展开是倒是你ARGU惨死的关键

我的文章给了读者多少信息，我这文章里有多少东西是不必要的，还有哪个point我没有描述完全，这篇文章能不能代表我，堂堂正正，没有一丝猥琐臃肿之气
避免注水猪肉文

Conciseness：Methods of Eliminating Wordiness

1. Eliminate unnecessary determiners and modifiers  删除无用的限定词和修饰词
Any particular type of dessert is fine with me.
Balancing the budget by Friday is impossible without some kind of extra help.
For all intents and purposes, American industrial productivity generally depends on certain factors that are really more psychological in kind than of any given technological aspect. American industrial productivity depends more on psychological than on technological factors.

The following words can often be pruned away  
kind of, sort of, type of, really, basically, for all intents and purposes,  definitely, actually, generally, individual, specific, particular

2. Change phrases into single words
The employee with ambition The ambitious employee
The department showing the best performance The best-performing department
Jeff Converse, our chief of consulting, suggested at our last board meeting the installation of microfilm equipment in the department of data processing. At our last board meeting, Chief Consultant Jeff Converse suggested that we install microfilm equipment in the data processing department.
As you carefully read what you have written to improve your wording and catch small errors of spelling, punctuation, and so on, the thing to do before you do anything else is to try to see where a series of words expressing action could replace the ideas found in nouns rather than verbs. As you edit, first find nominalizations that you can replace with verb phrases.

3. Change unnecessary that, who, and which clauses into phrases
The report, which was released recently The recently released report
All applicants who are interested in the job must All job applicants must
The system that is most efficient and accurate The most efficient and accurate system

4. Avoid overusing expletives at the beginning of sentences
Expletives are phrases of the form it + be-verb or there + be-verb.
It is the governor who signs or vetoes bills. The governor signs or vetoes bill.
There are four rules that should be observed. Four rules should be observed
There was a big explosion, which shook the windows, and people ran into the street. A big explosion shook the windows, and people ran into the street.

5. Use active rather than passive verbs 被动态动词
An account was opened by Mrs. Simms. Mrs. Simms opened an account.
Your figures were checked by the research department. The research department checked your figures.

6. Avoid overusing noun forms of verbs 动词的名词式
The function of this department is the collection of accounts. This department collects accounts.
The current focus of the medical profession is disease prevention. The medical profession currently focuses on disease prevention.

7. Reword unnecessary infinitive phrases  不必要的不定式
The duty of a clerk is to check all incoming mail and to record it. A clerk checks and records all incoming mail.
A shortage of tellers at our branch office on Friday and Saturday during rush hours has caused customers to become dissatisfied with service. A teller shortage at our branch office on Friday and Saturday during rush hours has caused customer dissatisfaction.

8. Replace circumlocutions with direct expressions
At this/that point in time Now/then
In accordance with your request As you requested

Here are some other common circumlocutions that can be compressed into just one word:

the reason for
for the reason that
owing/due to the fact that
in light of the fact that                      = because, since, why
considering the fact that
on the grounds that
this is why        

on the occasion of
in a situation in which
under circumstances in which            =when


as regards
in reference to
with regard to
concerning the matter of
where __ is concerned                    =about


it is crucial that
it is necessary that
there is a need/necessity for
it is important that
cannot be avoided                         =must, should

is able to
has the opportunity to
has the capacity for
has the ability to                           =can

it is possible that
there is a chance that
it could happen that
the possibility exists for                 =may, might, could

It is possible that nothing will come of these preparations. Nothing may come of these preparations.
She has the ability to influence the outcome. She can influence the outcome.
It is necessary that we take a stand on this pressing issue. We must take a stand on this pressing issue.

9. Omit words that explain the obvious or provide excessive detail
I received your inquiry yesterday. Yes, we do have. Yes, we do have
It goes without saying that we are acquainted with your policy on filing tax returns, and we have every intention of complying with the regulations that you have mentioned. We intend to comply with the tax-return regulations that you have mentioned.
Imagine a mental picture of someone engaged in the intellectual activity of trying to learn what the rules are for how to play the game of chess. Imagine someone trying to learn the rules of chess.
Baseball, one of our oldest and most popular outdoor summer sports in terms of total attendance at ball parks and viewing on television, has the kind of rhythm of play on the field that alternates between times when players passively wait with no action taking place between the pitches to the batter and then times when they explode into action as the batter hits a pitched ball to one of the players and the player fields it. Baseball has a rhythm that alternates between waiting and explosive action.

10. Omit repetitive wording
I would appreciate it if you would bring to the attention of your drafting officers the administrator's dislike of long sentences and paragraphs in messages to the field and in other items drafted for her signature or approval, as well as in all correspondence, reports, and studies. Please encourage your section to keep their sentences short. Please encourage your drafting officers to keep sentences and paragraphs in letters, reports, and studies short. Dr. Lomas, the administrator, has mentioned that reports and memos drafted for her approval recently have been wordy and thus time-consuming.
The supply manager considered the correcting typewriter an unneeded luxury. The supply manager considered the correcting typewriter a luxury.
Our branch office currently employs five tellers. These tellers do an excellent job Monday through Thursday but cannot keep up with the rush on Friday and Saturday. Our branch office currently employs five tellers, who do an excellent job Monday through Thursday but cannot keep up with Friday and Saturday rush periods.

Redundant Pairs
past memories, various differences, each individual, basic fundamentals,true facts, important essentials, future plans, terrible tragedy, end result, final outcome, free gift, past history, unexpected surprise, sudden crisis

Before the travel agent was completely able to finish explaining the various differences among all of the many very unique vacation packages his travel agency was offering, the customer changed her future plans. Before the travel agent finished explaining the differences among the unique vacation packages his travel agency was offering, the customer changed her plans.

Redundant Categories
large in size, often times, of a bright color, heavy in weight, period in time, round in shape, at an early time, economics field, of cheap quality,
honest in character, of an uncertain condition, in a confused state, unusual in nature, extreme in degree, of a strange type

During that time period, many car buyers preferred cars that were pink in color and shiny in appearance. During that period, many car buyers preferred pink, shiny cars.
The microscope revealed a group of organisms that were round in shape and peculiar in nature. The microscope revealed a group of peculiar, round organisms.

ieyangj08UID：2743219

快到年底了，各种各样的事情多了起来，但作文复习可是一日不可放松啊，加油加油。经历了前三天高强度的学习，带来的感觉简直是脱胎换骨。文法的学习对我这样的理工科学生来说，真的是非常重要，因为之前我连这样的基础知识都不了解。也充分体会到了一句话，越是基础的问题越容易犯错误，而且犯的是很大的错误。总结一下这几天的收获吧，我对文章的Thesis，TS，段落写作，文字精简等有了全新的认识和理解。希望后面的日子里，自己更加认真努力，取得更大的收获：）

ieyangj08UID：2743219

Proofreading for Commas  逗号检查

Compound Sentence Commas
1）Skim your paper, looking only for the seven coordinating conjunctions:and, nor, but, so, for, or, and yet.
2）Stop at each of these words to see whether there is an independent clause (a complete sentence), on both sides of it.  
3）If so, place a comma before the coordinating conjunction. Examples:
She wanted to buy a new car, but she didn't have enough money to do so.
The wind blew fiercely, and the rain poured down.
Alaska was not the last state admitted into the US, nor does it have the lowest total population.

Comma Splices
1）Skim your paper, stopping at every comma.
2）See whether you have an independent clause (a sentence) on both sides of the comma.
3）If so, change the sentence in one of the following ways:
•  reword the sentence to change one clause into a subordinate (or dependent) clause 将一个句子变为从句  
•  add a coordinating conjunction after the comma 逗号后添加并列连词
•  replace the comma with a semicolon 逗号变分号
•  replace the comma with a period, question mark, or exclamation point, and capitalize the first word of the second clause  将逗号变为句号、问  号、感叹号，大些第二个从句的首字母
comma splice: Americans speak too rapidly, this is a common complaint by foreign visitors.
correct: Americans speak too rapidly; this is a common complaint by foreign visitors.
correct: Foreign visitors commonly complain that Americans speak too rapidly.

Introductory Commas

Introductory commas after dependent clauses
1） Skim your paper, looking only at the first two or three words of each sentence.
2） Stop if one of these words is a dependent marker such as while, because, when, if, after, when, etc.  
3） If necessary, place a comma at the end of the introductory dependent clause. Examples:
While I was writing, the phone rang.
Because the weather was bad, we decided to cancel our planned picnic.
After the last guests left the party, we had to begin cleaning the house.

Other introductory commas
1. Skim your paper, looking only at the first word or two of each sentence.
2. Stop if the word or phrase ends in -ing ,is an infinitive (to + verb), is an introductory word (well, yes, moreover, etc.)
3. Place a comma at the end of the introductory phrase. Examples:
To get a good grade, you must turn in all your homework problems.
Walking to work, Jim stopped for coffee at the diner.
Yes, I agree that the exam was difficult.
4. If the sentence begins with a prepositional phrase 以介词短语开头(a phrase beginning with in, at, on, between, with, etc.), place a comma after the prepositional phrase if it is longer than three words or suggests a distinct pause before the main clause. Examples:
On his way to work, Jim stopped for coffee at the diner.
In those days we wrote with a pen and paper.
Across the street from the library, an old man waited for a bus.

Disruptive Commas

General guidelines
1)  Go through the paper, stopping at each comma.
2) If the comma isn't necessary for clarity or called for by a rule, get rid of it.

For disruptive commas between compound verbs or objects
1. Skim your paper, stopping only at the coordinating conjunctions: and, or, nor, but, so, for, or, and yet.
2. Check to see whether there is an independent clause (sentence) on both sides of the conjunction. If so, place a comma before the conjunction. If not, do not place a comma before the conjunction.
disruptive comma: They bought two pizzas, but ate only one.
correct: They bought two pizzas but ate only one.

For disruptive commas between subjects and verbs
1. Find the subject and verb in each of your sentences.
2. Make sure that you have not separated the subject from the verb with one comma. It's often all right to have a pair of commas between a subject and verb for nonessential clauses and phrases that might be added there, but rarely is a single comma acceptable.
disruptive comma: That man sitting in the train station, is the person I'm supposed to meet.
correct: That man sitting in the train station is the person I'm supposed to meet.

Series Commas
1. Skim your paper, stopping at the conjunctions.
2. Check to see if these conjunctions link words, phrases, or clauses written in a series.
3. If so, place commas after each word, phrase, or clause in the series (except the last one, as demonstrated in this sentence: no comma after the word clause). Examples:
People who are trying to reduce saturated fat in their diets should avoid eggs, meat, and tropical oils.
The candidate promised to lower taxes, protect the environment, reduce crime, and end unemployment.


Commas with Nonessential Elements
1. Skim your paper, looking for a phrase or clause in each sentence that explains or gives more information about a word or phrase that comes before it.
2. If you can delete the phrase or clause and still keep the meaning, the phrase or clause is probably nonessential and needs two commas, one before and one after (unless the phrase or clause is at the end of the sentence).
3. As an alternate test for a nonessential phrase or clause, try saying "by the way" before it. If that seems appropriate to the meaning, the phrase or clause is probably nonessential.  
Students who cheat only harm themselves. 必要的
Fred, who often cheats, is just harming himself. 不必要的

ieyangj08UID：2743219

Proofreading

General Strategies
•Take a break! It will help you get some distance from what you have written.  
•Leave yourself enough time. Always read through your writing slowly.  
•Read aloud. Reading a paper aloud encourages you to read every little word.
•Role-play. Playing the role of the reader encourages you to see the paper as your audience might.
•Get others involved. Asking a friend or a Writing Lab tutor to read your paper will let you get another perspective on your writing and a fresh reader will be able to help you catch mistakes that you might have overlooked.

You should find out what your typical problem areas are and look for each type of error individually. Here's how:
•Find out what errors you typically make. Review instructors' comments about your writing and/or review your paper with a Writing Lab tutor.
•Learn how to fix those errors. Talk with your instructor and/or with a Writing Lab tutor. The instructor and the tutor can help you understand why you make the errors you do so that you can learn to avoid them.
•Use specific strategies. Use the strategies detailed on the following pages to find and correct your particular errors in usage, sentence structure, and spelling and punctuation.

Finding Common Errors  

Spelling
•Do NOT rely on your computer's spellcheck—it will not get everything!
•Examine each word in the paper individually by reading carefully. Moving a pencil under each line of text helps you to see each word.
•If necessary, check a dictionary to see that each word is spelled correctly.
•Be especially careful of words that are typical spelling nightmares, like "ei/ie" words and homonyms like your/you're, to/too/two, and there/their/they're.
•Left-out and doubled words Reading the paper aloud (and slowly) can help you make sure you haven't missed or repeated any words.


Fragment Sentences
•Make sure each sentence has a subject. In the following sentence, the subject is "students": The students looked at the OWL website.
•Make sure each sentence has a complete verb. In the following sentence, "were" is required to make a complete verb; "trying" alone would be incomplete: They were trying to improve their writing skills.
•See that each sentence has an independent clause; remember that a dependent clause cannot stand on its own. The following sentence is a dependent clause that would qualify as a fragment sentence: Which is why the students read all of the handouts carefully.

Run-on Sentences
•Review each sentence to see whether it contains more than one independent clause.
•If there is more than one independent clause, check to make sure the clauses are separated by the appropriate punctuation. 标点是否合适
•Sometimes, it is just as effective (or even more so) to simply break the sentence into separate sentences instead of including punctuation to separate the clauses.
Example run-on: I have to write a research paper for my class about extreme sports all I know about the subject is that I'm interested in it.
Edited version: I have to write a research paper for my class about extreme sports, and all I know about the subject is that I'm interested in it.
Another option: I have to write a research paper for my class about extreme sports. All I know about the subject is that I'm interested in it.

Comma Splices
•Look at the sentences that have commas.
•Check to see if the sentence contains two main clauses.
•If there are two main clauses, they should be connected with a comma and a conjunction like and, but, for, or, so, yet.
•Another option is to take out the comma and insert a semicolon instead.
Example: I would like to write my paper about basketball, it's a topic I can talk about at length.
Edited version: I would like to write my paper about basketball, because it's a topic I can talk about at length.
Edited version, using a semicolon: I would like to write my paper about basketball; it's a topic I can talk about at length.


Subject/Verb Agreement
•Find the subject of each sentence.
•Find the verb that goes with the subject.
•The subject and verb should match in number, meaning that if the subject is plural, the verb should be as well and vice versa.
Example: Students at the university level usually is very busy.
Edited version: Students at the university level usually are very busy.
Mixed construction Read through your sentences carefully to make sure that they do not start with one sentence structure and shift to another. A sentence that does this is called a mixed construction.
Example: Since I have a lot of work to do is why I can't go out tonight.
Edited version: Since I have a lot of work to do, I can't go out tonight.
Parallelism Look through your paper for series of items and make sure these items are in parallel form.
Example: Being a good friend involves good listening skills, to be considerate, and that you know how to have fun.
Edited version: Being a good friend involves knowing how to listen, being considerate, and having fun.


Pronoun Reference/Agreement
•Skim your paper, stopping at each pronoun. 代词
•Search for the noun that the pronoun replaces.
•If you can't find any noun, insert one beforehand or change the pronoun to a noun.
•If you can find a noun, be sure it agrees in number and person with your pronoun.

Apostrophes 撇号
•Skim your paper, stopping only at those words which end in "s." If the "s" is used to indicate possession, there should be an apostrophe, as in Mary's book.
•Look over the contractions, like you're for you are, it's for it is, etc. Each of these should include an apostrophe.
•Remember that apostrophes are not used to make words plural. When making a word plural, only an "s" is added, not an apostrophe and an "s."

Suggestions for Proofreading Your Paper

Two Principles
•Begin sentences with short, simple words and phrases that a) communicate information that appeared in previous sentences, or b) build on knowledge that you share with your reader.
•In a paragraph, keep your topics short and reasonably consistent.



Diagnosis 诊断
1. Underline the first few words of every sentence in a paragraph, ignoring short introductory phrases such as "In the beginning," or "For the most part."
2. If you can, underline the first few words of every clause.

Analysis
1. Read your underlined words. Is there a consistent series of related topics?
2. Will your reader see these connections among the topics?
3. Decide what you will focus on in each paragraph.
4. Imagine that the passage has a title. The words in the title should identify what should be the topics of most of the sentences.

Revision
1. In most sentences, make the topics the subject of verbs.
2. Put most of the subjects at the beginning of your sentences. Avoid hiding your topic by opening sentences with long introductory clauses or phrases.

Sample Passage
Topics are crucial for readers because readers depend on topics to focus their attention on particular ideas toward the beginning of sentences. Topics tell readers what a whole passage is "about." If readers feel that a sequence of topics is coherent, then they will feel they are moving through a paragraph from a cumulatively coherent point of view. But if throughout the paragraph readers feel that its topics shift randomly, then they have to begin each sentence out of context, from no coherent point of view. When that happens, readers feel dislocated, disoriented, and out of focus.

Questions to Ask Yourself as You Revise

Sentences
Do your sentences "hang together?"
1. Readers must feel that they move easily from one sentence to the next, that each sentence "coheres" with the one before and after it.
2. Readers must feel that sentences in a paragraph are not just individually clear, but are unified with each other.
Does the sentence begin with information familiar to the reader?
Does the sentence end with interesting information the reader would not anticipate?

Paragraphs
Will your reader be able to identify quickly the "topic" of each paragraph?

You can use your responses to revise your papers by reorganizing them to make your best points stand out, by adding needed information, by eliminating irrelevant information, and by clarifying sections or sentences.
1）Find your main point. Try to summarize your thesis.  
2）Identify your readers and your purpose. What are you trying to do in the paper? In other words, are you trying to argue with the reading, to analyze the reading, to evaluate the reading, to apply the reading to another situation, or to accomplish another goal?
3）Evaluate your evidence. Does the body of your paper support your thesis? Do you offer enough evidence to support your claim? If you are using quotations from the text as evidence, did you cite them properly?
4）Save only the good pieces. Do all of the ideas relate back to the thesis? Is there anything that doesn't seem to fit? If so, you either need to change your thesis to reflect the idea or cut the idea.
5）Tighten and clean up your language.  
6）Eliminate mistakes in grammar and usage.  
7）Switch from Writer-Centered to Reader-Centered. 角色转换Try to detach yourself from what you've written; pretend that you are reviewing some else's work. What would you say is the most successful part of your paper? Why? How could this part be made even better? What would you say is the least successful part of your paper? Why? How could this part be improved?

ieyangj08UID：2743219

Using Metaphors in Creative Writing

Creative ways to use metaphors
1)as verbs    The news that ignited his face snuffed out her smile.   熄灭、扼杀
2)as adjectives and adverbs        Her carnivorous pencil carved up Susan's devotion. 肉食性的
3)as prepositional phrases          The doctor inspected the rash with a vulture's eye.  秃鹰般的眼睛
4)as appositives or modifiers   同位语    On the sidewalk was yesterday's paper, an ink-stained sponge. 海绵

ieyangj08UID：2743219

至此，作业一的第一部分全部看完了。用了三天多的时间，看得比较认真，因为觉得这部分对我很有用。收获的确是很大的，这使得我对写作有了一个全新的认识。

海王泪UID：2673613

ieyangj08？ 新童鞋？
呵呵··新年快乐！！欢迎来到Gter！

加油！！草草的文法和语法两个系列很有价值！ :loveliness:

plukaUID：2721764

没错没错，很有用的~
如果有空可以再看看文体指要，The Elements of Style，版上有下。跟草草的AW系列可以互补。
新年快乐，一起加油呀~

ieyangj08UID：2743219

海王泪好，终于在GT有新朋友了，感觉真好。也祝你新年快乐，一起加油：） 28# 海王泪