作文本1.21更新到今天！(低落)

ivybettyUID: 2328308

27日作业
Nowadays, there is a debate about that governments should spend more money in support of arts than in support of athletics.# s7 ]1 b! |; H* b7 A& P
Some people claim that government should spend more money in support of art rather than athletics, but, some people argue that government should spend more money to help our national athletics. In my prospective, I hardly agree that governments should spend more money in support of arts than in support of athletics such as state-sponsored Olympic teams, because I think both of them are need to invest(be invested) by government.

First of all, government should spend money to support arts. As we all know, American is the most powerful country in the world. Since world war one, American government instantly rendered(这个词在这里的用法可能还得推敲下) fund to art field. After world war two, American government would cut tax which some international corporations should pay, if those companies donated money to art, so that government can indirectly provided finance acid to art. Why did American government apply those policies? I believe that what American government did in art field must have very extensive relationship with American strong power. So government should spent money to support art.(这个观点有点武断。很难让人信服。)

In addition, government also should spend money to hold athletics. Heath always is our daily hot topic.（Health is always a hot topic in our daily lives.） Everybody not only takes care of his heath but also considers his parents and children's heath. Heath not only come from our every meal but also our athletics. Thus, if government is a responsible government, it should build gyms and make advisement about benefits of athletics.  

What is more, government should give help to state-sponsored Olympic teams. Since Olympic is a wonderful international sport competition. If our Olympic teams win a gold, we will be very proud of our country and it also will enhance other countries people's friendship with us. Then, other countries people will visit our country.* S5 [. k$ j: F3 U5 d

In sum, both of arts and athletics play an crucial role in(学习了) our national development, so government has duty to support their growth. That is why I can not agree with the view that governments should spend more money in support of arts than in support of athletics
论点和论据感觉很松散。楼主加油！

小心littleheartUID: 2726034

As our society developing, our life changes a lot as much（well） as our eating habit. Many people choose to eat in fast food and package fast food to feed their children ( 句意不通，可改为Many people feed their children with fast food and package food) rather than families regularly eat their meals together （with their family）. In my prospective, I regard that it is crucial for families to regularly eat their meals together. My reasons as follow:* B# M1 P% i; L$ l( z# W* |7 K

Foremost, the time for our families getting（gathering） together is so limited and important. Since parents need to work hard to earn money each day and children must（have to 更好些） go to school every day, then there is no（little） time for our family to get together. So we should cherish the time when our family get together such as meal time. The time for eating is the best chance for our families getting together. Families (Family members) can talk (with) each other when our families (they避免重复) are having meals. According a survey from Virginia University, some scientists believe the problems will （can be）solved more saving time and more efficiently (可改为with less time and more efficiency) in meal time. In other words, that means the time for our families eating our meal together can exert (有这样用的么?如果楼主确定这样可以，麻烦告诉我一声啊，呵呵~学习一下~~) our families to be more harmony and more comfortable, even can prevent family violence（举例子很好，可增加文章细节）. 5 q* j8 q! _2 p" T% m

In addition, families regularly eating their meals together is （an）absolutely good (way of living) life. Some people may be argue that getting together to eat is totally wasting time, and they deem that (they) can take (utilize) the time when we get together to work and study. (While) I hardly agree with those people. Why do we work or study? It is just that because we want to get a better life. Is one person who is just working everyday and never has meal with his family or share time with his family a money-making machine (这部分没有谓语引导) in some meaning? This kind of people will not have real happiness or wonderful life because he never tastes how happy when one family get together. What is more, the time for families regularly eating their meals together must（can） be every (all) family numbers'(members’) best memory.
Like me, when I work tired, I always recall the happy time for (with) my family eating meal together.1 w9 e2 ~( X9 E

In sum, the time for families regularly eating their meals together is necessary to everybody. It can help to enjoy everybody's life, deal (dealing) with family problems and release (releasing) our family pressure.


楼主的语法问题还是有点多，特别需要注意一下同位语从句的用法~~楼主虽说题目很8股~但楼主还是写了蛮多的嘛~~~呵呵~~~我觉得楼主的主题很明确，观点很多样化~就是句子再高级些就更好了~呵呵~~~~个人拙见~~加油~~！！

皇甫秋荻UID: 2638790

As our society developing, our life changes a lot as much as our eating habit. Many people choose to eat in fast food and package fast food to feed their children rather than families regularly eat their meals together（eat at home with family members together “rather than 前后的主语应该一致”）. In my prospective, I regard that it is crucial for families to regularly eat their meals together. My reasons as follow:

Foremost（first and foremost）, the time for our families getting together is so limited and important. Since parents need to work hard to earn money each day and children must go to school every day, then there is no time for our family to get together. So we should cherish the time when our family get together such as meal time. The time for eating is the best chance for our families getting together (嘿嘿，这么长的句子说的都是一个意思~@~，楼主水平真高，不像我半天写不出一个字儿来！不过，貌似有些重复啦~). Families can talk each other when our families（they） are having meals. According a survey from Virginia University, some scientists believe the problems will solved more saving time and more efficiently（是一个意思啦，直接就用efficiently就好啦~） in meal time. In other words, that means the time for our families eating our meal together can exert our families to be more harmony and more comfortable, (and)even can prevent family violence.

In addition, families regularly eating their meals together is absolutely good life (a good way of life). Some people may be(删掉) argue that getting together to eat is totally wasting（a waste of） time, and they deem that can take the time when we get together to work and study. I hardly agree with those people. Why do we work or study? It is just that because we want to get a better life. Is one person who is just working everyday and never has meal with his family or share time with his family ，a money-making machine in some meaning（？呃，这个，好突兀哦~ If one person who is just working everyday and never has meal with his family members , how can he be different from a money making machine?-------不过，这个问句很不错。值得借鉴~）? This kind of people will not have real happiness or wonderful life because he never tastes how happy（替换个词吧，用pleasant） when one family get together. What is more, the time for families regularly eating their meals together must be every family numbers' best memory（very memorable for all the family members）.9 Z- R$ B5 B$ J0 Z) r! [& T2 w5 G+ V" j
Like me, when I work tired, I always recall the happy time for(when) my family eating meal together.) G. Y- _6 {. |

In sum, the time for families regularly eating their meals together is necessary to everybody. It can help to enjoy everybody's life, deal with family problems and release our family pressure.

总结：觉得jbc88的例子举得蛮不错的。但是，观点不大明确，中间的论证部分，都又重复。。。建议写之前，先在之上列一下要写的观点，这样思路就不会太乱喽~~~anyway，good job！！！加油！

皇甫秋荻UID: 2638790

;Plz啊，据说把葱白放到枕头边上，有助于睡眠的。（要洗干净哈~貌似它的气味对睡眠又促进）！睡前闻一闻！嘿嘿。。。希望有帮助~

eddie23508okUID: 2281260

29日

Nowadays, there is a debate about whether understanding the past is necessary to solve the problems present and future. Some people hold that there is no need to realize (know) the past for solving the problems present and future, while some (other) people regard that knowing the past is important for us to solve the problems present and future (句式与前面重复，最好进行改写，例如in order to solve the problems present and future it is important for us to dig into the past). But I think both of their opinions are right. We should combine what we understand (about) the past with our new idea to solve the problems present and future. My reasons (are listed) as follow:

Foremost, knowing the past will provide experience to solve the problems present and future.(点明分论点，好) For example, In our studying career, there is a course which we must learn called history. Why do we study history? Because it is so crucial that when we need to study other subjects, we always learn the history of the subject at first in our every textbook content (we always borrow valuable experience from the history). History can tell what they did (should do) when people encountered (encounter) the same (similar,只能说相似，因为没有事物是完全一样的) problem as our problem in the past. (Furthermore) History can render the complements (?) and the faults which people finished (made) in the past. History also can provide the dates and files which people accumulated in the past (这点跟解决现在以及未来的问题有什么关系？如果有，后面应该加以说明). So, history which can let us know the past is pretty meaningful to solve the problems present and future.

In addition, merely knowing the past is insufficient, and we should get a new idea which cannot obsessed with the experience (此句意思不是很明白). For instance, every times when I do my math homework, I not only take the principles which I had (have) learned in the classes, but also seek the clues which the math problem obtain. If I had not studied what professors taught to me, it would had been no possibility for me to work out. If I did not get the new idea, I would not cope with the math problem. Like a host of inventors, they would not invent nothing unless they escaped from the frame of historical thinking.(可是此句之前并不是说限制的问题，那此句在这里意思是？) Accordingly, we should realize how important the new idea is. (U've got too many unconvincing examples and statements here, and ur sudden transfer of the sentence could easily get readers confused. By the way, this should not blame for the personal reading ability, it's the logic of your statement! )

By and large, we must merge our historical experience with our new idea, then solve the problem which we meet with in present and future, otherwise we will not success forever.

Good and fresh argument and obvious point of view, the most shining thing in your passage is your eclectic choice: combining the past and the new ideas. Wonderful! But for the language, no big problems here still. But the logic of statement should really deserve ur focus, especially the third paragrah, what u've written seems to go nowhere with your point of view. I think my comment would not be too sharp for you. Thanks for your work on my passage. Anyway, good job!

arlenezxyUID: 2487145

Nowadays, there is a debate about the problem that governments spend more money on improving public transportation or on improving accessing internet. Some people who work in outside hold that governments should spend more money on improving public transportation, while other people who work at home claim that governments should spend more money on improving accessing internet. In my prospective, I agree with both of them. I think government should invest fund on improving public transportation and on improving accessing internet. My reasons are listed as follow:1 A( t0 |, z  }2 l- z+ j7 S

In first place, as our technology and science developing, many people use internet to communicate(with) each other, design products and even operate companies. Whatever we view internet, it really plays a crucial role in our society. Wherever we are, we can keep in touch with each other as long as we have opptunity to access internet. What is more, many students now have classes at home while a host of teachers teach classes at home.(最好点明使用网络教学) Our government must spend money on improving accessing internet because internet has related with(是否应该是to?) different fields such as education, business and media. Thus, if our government does not spend money on improving accessing internet, it is no doubt that our nation and country will lost(lose) our merit and be surpassed by other countries.
/ Y% B; e( Z+ @% r1 A
In addition, governments should spend more money on improving public transportation. Since our society has concerned (about) global warming, we must decrease fossil fuel by any ways (这个用法?是不是means好一些?). The key to decrease carbon dioxides is adding more and more public transportations such as buses so that limit the number of personal cars. If governments do not spend more money on improving public transportation, people will buy more cars and use more oils so that cause global warming and our society resource wasting.

In sum, in order to keep up our education business and media advantage, our government should invest fund (fund可以去掉,invest本身就有投钱的意思)on improving accessing internet. To prevent global warming, our government should invest fund on public transportation.

全文观点陈述很清晰，个别小词和习惯用法还需加强。另外关于这篇文章怎么立论也想和你探讨下，投资网络很重要，投资交通很重要，是否就表明投资交通就不能比网络花更多的钱了呢？是不是还应该加一个论据？继续努力!

eddie23508okUID: 2281260

1.30

Nowadays, there is a debate about the problem that governments spend more money on improving public transportation or on improving accessing internet. Some people who work in outside hold that governments should spend more money on improving public transportation, while other people who work at home claim that governments should spend more money on improving accessing internet. In my prospective, I agree with both of them. I think government should invest fund on improving public transportation and on improving accessing internet. My reasons are listed as follow:

In first place, as our technology and science developing, many people use internet to communicate each other, design products and even operate companies. Whatever we view internet, it really plays a crucial role in our society. Wherever we are, we can keep in touch with each other as long as we have opptunity to access internet. What is more, many students now have classes at home while a host of teachers teach classes at home. (如果加一个so, 可能就不会感觉转得太硬了吧)Our government must spend money on improving accessing internet because internet has (been) related with different fields such as education, business and media. Thus, if our government does not spend money on improving accessing internet, it is no doubt that our nation and country will lost our merit and be surpassed by other countries.

In addition, governments should spend more money on improving public transportation. Since our society has concerned global warming, we must decrease fossil fuel by any ways. The key to decrease carbon dioxides is adding more and more public transportations such as buses so that limit the number of personal cars (个人感觉应该不是通过增加公共交通工具来限制私人车的使用吧，应该是通过号召人们多用公共交通以及改进公共交通工具技术来限制二氧化碳的排放，如果私人车辆减少了，公共汽车的量大大增加了，那结果还不是一样的？). If governments do not spend more money on improving public transportation, people will buy more cars and use more oils so that cause global warming and our society resource wasting.

In sum, in order to keep up our education business and media advantage, our government should invest fund on improving accessing internet. To prevent global warming, our government should invest fund on public transportation.

个人觉得LZ的这篇文章有点偏题，题目是问政府应该在公共交通改进上多花钱还是在网络上多花钱，但前提是政府在这两项上都花了钱，唯一不同是投资的不同而已，而lz整篇文章都在说政府应该要在两项上花钱，不错啊，题目是这么说的，可是哪个多哪个少呢？即使第三段开头句说了一下，可是段中我们并没有得到有力的陈述以及convincing examples来说服我们相信LZ的论点。如果能稍微展开一下，应该是不错的一片文章。加油！

tomatooUID: 2754865

As our productivity developing(读不通，as our productivity is developing, or, with the development of productivity ), our environmental issue gets worse and worse. There is a debate about the environmental issue（这个单句放在这里很孤单，可以在前面加个so和前面连接起来，也可以把后面这句话用从句表达出来）. Some people hold that the environmental issue should handled（should be handled） by governments, while other people regard that individual can deal with the environmental issue. In my prospective, I hardly agree with the statement that the environmental issue is too complex to be handled by the individual, because I think only the individual and governments' corporation can solve the environmental issue.

$ y! i/ P2 p0 v# b5 ?
Initially, the environmental issue needs governments’ assist(assists,用复数吧). The environmental issue is a global problem such as global warming（放在issue后面比较好）. These matters cannot （be）solve by mere one country or one government（一个国家一个政府一样的意思）. For example, UN now is (the)main power to copy with the environmental issue, because some environmental issues such as air pollution is (are)not limited by singer country(没明白什么意思，个个单词我都认识，放在一起我真看不懂). What is more, industries are （the）main sources of air pollution, but (这里有转折的意思吗，应该是因果吧，so)only the individual is impossible to control them. Thus，we individuals( need to )depend on governments to make policies which can prevent these industries from releasing toxic air. As we all know, governments have a host of professional experts and policemen to handle the environmental issue efficiently(efficiently主要指效率高，快速，用时短，effectively才指效果，要和后面的powerful对应就用effectively), which is more powerful than the individual's ability(which和它要修饰的governments离的太远，不如改成governments which have a host of professional experts and policemen are more powerful than individuals in handling the environmental issue). So, governments play a crucial role in dealing with the environmental issue.

In addition, it is necessary for every individual to copy with the environmental issue. For instance, some citizens always volunteer to clean road and avenue. Some scientists invent solar energy to instead of coal and oil. Some professors teach his students environmental knowledge. All these actions are what we can do for handling the environmental issue. Even picking up a piece of paper is a significant step for the environmental issue. All people can do that. Although our actions are subtle, which(which引导的从句要紧跟在修饰的名词的后面) is compared with our government（这个从句不要了，换成comparing with our government，有几个从句在一起时，最好换些分词结构，避免绕）, what we do is huge progress, because（since） we are millions of people. So the environmental issue cannot be solved without our supports.2 |) `9 L! W. J0 @( K; s

In sum, the environmental issue's settlement is depended on not only our governments and also every individual（not only...but also..., not only...but..., not only...also...,但是没有not only...and also...）. By this way, I believe we can handle the environmental issue perfectly.

楼主语法上要多加注意，呵呵！
加油！

黑莲祭_UID: 2715943

Nowadays, as our society developing, the movies and television have become more and more popular. There is a heat debate about the movies and television's effect towards young people. Some young people who like to watch TV and movies hold that the movies and television have more positive effect than negative effect, while other young people regard that he movies and television have more negative effect than positive effectthe opposite opinion. In my prospective, since the movies and television may have positive or negative effect on young people, we should watch TV and movies onwhat we should do is to limited time on these recreation. So I disagree with the fact that the movies and television have more negative effect than positive effect on the young people. My reasons as follow
第一段感觉很乱，不应该重复出现这么多次positive effect和negative effect的字眼吧，点题不只是有题目中的字才算点题，个人觉得，只要是内容相关即可。总是用题目中的字眼会让rater觉得你词汇量不够。

Initially, the movies and television have positive effect on the young people. The movies and television render the information which  that we care about. Thus, it helps us to realize the world  get to know better about the outside world by this easy means rather than our painstaking experience. Some programs on television TV programs can also give us knowledge and skills which can let us live better. These programs entertainment ways such as cooking are plays a very crucial role toin our the young people who are born and raised under our parents’ careful protection. The movies take a host of exciting or classic story to us. (上一句没明白什么意思)We can also even take advantage of online education which is preformed on TV to learn much knowledge so that which can help ourselves to with study., Y, l/ T/ _6 J2 y( e) z9 @  R

In addition, the movies and television have negative effect on the young people. For example, my brother Tim is a coach potato. He always is watchesing TV and having chips all day. I think his behaviors will bring him more weight fat and increase his degrees of his glasses(不缺定长度数是这么说。。). So we should limit our the time of watching-TV time. After all, instantly watching TV and the movies makes our eye tired and nervous. I was heard a news said that according to a survey conducted by Virginia University survey, 50% students watch TV 5 hours TV per day in American, and some experts predict that Eevery family will pay 10000$ dollars on their eye healthy problems caused by watching too much TV and the movies.0 q4 H: I) @2 A4 u7 P+ K

In sum, the movies and television is a great media and it serves people well, but spending too much time on watching TVwatching too much TV can damage endanger our health. Consequently, considering the movies and television's negative and positive effect, we should watch TV and movies on limited time within reasonable hours. .

个人觉得movies and televison前不用加the。
还有应该专注在过多的看电视和电影会给young people带来什么危害

黑莲祭_UID: 2715943

那个我用word修改的，刚发现好多格式都不支持。。你看我怎么发给你