作文本1.21更新到今天！(低落)

51航海UID: 2738581

Nowadays, there is a heated topic with sharply soaring volume about public transportation. Some people hold the view that people should not pay to the public transportation. In my perspective, I deem that people must pay to the public transportation. That is the reason why I disagree with their opinion.' X1 y. P9 b" [* G" l
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Initially, public transportation plays a crucial role in our daily life and the entire society. It is irrefutable fact that most of works and employee commute between their working places and their homes everyday by public transportation. If people did not pay to the public transportation, we would confront with the disaster. The poor people who were only depended on bus, subway and train to arrive on working places would lose they jobs or resign their positions. 【为什么说这句？】Furthermore, the rich people who used to work by the public transportation would consider whether they should buy their own cars. 【和买车有什么关系没说明白】If I were them, I would buy a car for myself. Thus, more and more people would buy cars. In other words, not only should the entire rich class spend more money on transportation, but also our environment would be damaged due to the air pollution released from rich people's cars. What a dangerous disaster it is when people do not pay to the public transportation. So, we can draw the conclusion that the insufficient public transportation would lead our human's society to be collapsed.  1 o. S+ y; s+ i
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In addition, even though people have one thousand reasons to reject to give fund to the public transportation, the truth is everyone must pay it. As we all know, each country's public transportation is operated by their governments. Where do governments obtain fund to distribute to each department such as public transportation? People' taxes feed our government, which means our money has already invested on the public transportation in form of taxes. Thus, everyone definitely pay to the public transportation, no matter how we think and no matter where we are. It is no doubt that anyone should spend money to【on】 the public transportation, because no one can escape taxes except that he is criminal or he has no [any]【any多余吧】 income.2 t8 ~3 [, d( X. y8 m

$ v8 {' J6 m& HIn the nutshell, based on what I have mentioned, I believe that people should pay to the public transportation. Hardly can I agree with the opposite statement. 【这句感觉有些唐突啊，或删去】

zhangwen08UID: 2713418

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51航海UID: 2738581

Nowadays, there is a heated topic with sharply soaring volume about whether the most important factor in successful development of country is improving schools? In my perspective, I deem that growing economy plays a crucial role in developing successful country. That is the reason why I disagree with the topic.
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Initially, improving schools is a（an） important aspect for successful development of country. As we all know, schools can cultivate children to become professional talents such as professors, skilled workers and international trading businessmen. If one nation does not put sufficient attention and fund in improving schools, there is no doubt that knowledge and technology cannot exert their value and effect for the country's development. Consequently, improving schools is a vital factor in successful development of the country.
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However, improving schools requires a large amount of money and human forces to spend. For example, the school in which my mother works has paid three million dollars to improve its classrooms and gates. Where do they get the money? It is obvious that governments distribute money collected from each citizen to schools. So, it is impossible for government to give schools money without our taxes. In other word(s), improving schools will be a dream unless our economy grows. Once society's economy is depressed, many companies will be bankrupt, which leads people to lose their jobs. As more and more people's income decreasing, the tax which the government levies will(be) less and less. At the last, the whole society will be collapsed including our education system. At that moment, even though improving schools can develop a country, government will not have the ability and fund to invest on improving schools due to insufficient taxes. For example, in 1930s, President Roosevelt applied a series of policies to develop American economy rather than improve schools, beginning American successful road. Now, there is irrefutable fact that American is one of the most successful countries in the world. This instance clearly manifests that developing economy is more important than improving schools.

In addition, growing economy is related with many social aspects, like public transportation, science research, and culture transmission, becasue our life is teem with money problems. Therefore, economy is a key problem in our society, dominating a center status among all of matters. As soon as our economy grows, our country will be as successful as American. For case, China has exerted these polices for growing economy since in 1978. Now, China is the third country in GPD data. In 2008, the Olympic Games is hold in Beijing which is the capital in China. Everyone who had been to Beijing told me that China is a wonderful country which they have never seen in their life. So,  developing economy can result in a successful country.
In a nutshell, based on what I have mentioned, hardly can I agree with the statement that improving schools is the most important factor in successful development of country.

好长啊，我肯定是在半小时内写不完啊~~~ 句子不错，例子也比我多~~要注意小错误啊~~~学习！

bensonseuUID: 2707369

Nowadays, there is a heated topic with sharply soaring volume about whether the most important factor in successful development of country is improving schools? In my perspective, I deem that growing economy plays a crucial role in developing successful country. That is the reason why I disagree with the topic.: L& g1 m) @1 d
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Initially, improving schools is a important aspect for successful development of country. As we all know, schools can cultivate children to become professional talents such as professors, skilled workers and international trading businessmen. If one nation does not put sufficient attention and fund in improving schools, there is no doubt that knowledge and technology cannot exert their value and effect for the country's development. Consequently, improving schools is a vital factor in successful development of the country.


However, improving schools requires a large amount of money and human forces to spend（不知道这个与之前的require是否有重复的嫌疑）. For example, the school in which my mother works has paid three million dollars to improve its classrooms and gates. Where do they get the money? It is obvious that governments distribute money collected from each citizen to schools. So, it is impossible for government to give schools money without our taxes. In other word, improving schools will be a dream unless our economy grows（这一句很不错！一下子就提高了论证的力度！~\(≧▽≦)/~）. Once society's economy is depressed, many companies will be bankrupt, which leads people to lose their jobs. As more and more people's income decreasing, the tax which the government levies will less and less. At the last, the whole society will be collapsed including our education system. At that moment, even though improving schools can develop a country, government will not have the ability and fund to invest on improving schools due to insufficient taxes. For example, in 1930s, President Roosevelt applied a series of policies to develop American economy rather than improve schools, beginning American successful road. Now, there is irrefutable fact that American is one of the most successful countries in the world. This instance clearly manifests that developing economy is more important than improving schools. , s& j! Y" [, |! i- [0 E

In addition, growing economy is related with many social aspects, like public transportation, science research, and culture transmission, becasue our life is teem with money problems. Therefore, economy is a key problem in our society, dominating a center status among all of matters. As soon as our economy grows, our country will be as successful as American. For case, China has exerted these polices for growing economy since in 1978. Now, China is the third country in GPD data. In 2008, the Olympic Games is hold in Beijing which is the capital in China. Everyone who had been to Beijing told me that China is a wonderful country which they have never seen in their life. So,  developing economy can result in a successful country.

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In a nutshell, based on what I have mentioned, hardly can I agree with the statement that improving schools is the most important factor in successful development of country.
（老伙计，一些错误我都标注了，客套话我就不多说了，角度不错，例子也很好。
说点其他的吧，明天我再分最后一次组，这周六你就开始接班吧，这段时间来很高兴和大家一起合作共同进步！在这条出国路上能有这么一群志同道合的人在一起奋斗，也算是不枉一程了！最后，祝你梦想成真！——by 独孤拜月）

51航海UID: 2738581

Nowadays, there is a heated topic with sharply soaring volume about how to spend money. Some people hold the view that money should be paid to traveling and vacation. In my perspective, I deem that it is better to save money for the future than to spend money on traveling and vacation. That is the reason why I disagree with those people's opinion. My reasons are as following.（开头还是这么流畅自如~~）

Initially, as our economy develops, our working and studying pressure becomes heavier and heavier. To release those pressures, more and more people desire to enjoy the pleasure and time when we travel around the world with our families. Not only can we further communicate with our wives, sons and parents during the vacation time, but also we can realize other place's culture and views. Therefore, traveling will be some people's choice to spend money。

Actually, those people ignore the irrefutable（不可否认的） fact that they take a large amount of money which is rare resource for most of people to exchange their or their family's happiness, which is an irrational action. According to the survey by Virginia University, some professors and experts point out that nearly 30% American citizens who like to travel cannot afford their spending so that they go to the bank for borrowing money. This behavior is so crazy that those people always work until they died(die). In other words, they have spent the fund which should have been spent on the future to have a vacation time before they have not sufficient money to pay the fee of vacation. Considering the benefits which traveling renders(好词，学习！), I believe that having dinner or watching a movie with family together also can obtain effect as（the） same as that of traveling. In addition, traveling cost(s) more money than eating dinner. Thus, we can take advantage of the money which is saved from family dinner to prepare to feed ourselves in the future.

Saving money is an excellent habit which will lead us to live better. For example, since college students' tuition is high, it is very necessary for us to save money. After all, children maybe hunt (for)a high salary job when getting the doctor degree. At that moment, we can make a plan for traveling. Even we take the money which is saved to invest on the stock market or operate a company. Thus, we will acquire more money to spend. Consequently, I argue that saving money for the future is more crucial than traveling.(这段的连接词用的很好~)

In a nutshell, based on what I have mentioned, hardly I can agree with the statement that people spend money to have a vacation.（结尾还是很短啊，呵呵，可以在重复一下分论点）
整体很不错啊，语言很流畅，词汇很丰富~把两只哦那个观点结合在一起论证，赞~~

annkeUID: 2605122

145# jbc88
MAR 11
3.11: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?  It is better to spend money on traveling and vacation than to save money for the future.
Nowadays, there is a heated topic with sharply soaring volume about how to spend money. Some people hold the view that money should be paid to traveling and vacation. In my perspective, I deem that it is better to save money for the future than to spend money on traveling and vacation. That is the reason why[始终觉得作者还没有reason出来，以个人观点当reason反对statement,也可以吧] I disagree with those people's opinion. My reasons are as following.
Initially, as our economy develops, our working and studying pressure becomes heavier and heavier. To release those pressures, more and more people desire to enjoy the pleasure and time when we travel around world with our families. Not only can we further communicate with our wives[我们的老公呢？？], sons[daughters?] and parents during the vacation time, but also we can realize other place's culture and views[这个表达有问题啊]. Therefore, traveling will be some people's choice to spend money.
Actually, those people ignore the irrefutable fact that they take a large amount of money which is rare resource for most of people to exchange their or their family's happiness, which is an irrational action.[把主干划出来之后发现，这句话没有谓语] According to the survey [少了东西，carried out/ conducted/ undertaken] by Virginia University, some professors and experts point out that nearly 30% American citizens who like to travel cannot afford their spending so that they go to the bank for borrowing money. This behavior is so crazy that those people always work until they died. In other words, they have spent the fund which should have been spent on the future to have a vacation time before they have not sufficient money to pay the fee of vacation[这句表达很不地道。They have spent the fund which should have been spent on the future vacation instead the present time which they don’t have sufficient money to pay for a vacation.按你的意思这样的表达应该会好一点，不过更好的应该是把主语换成money。其次，第一个虚拟语气有点奇怪]. Considering the benefits which traveling renders[旅游造成的好处，render别扭], I believe that having dinner or watching a movie with family together also can[can also] obtain effect as same as that of traveling. In addition, traveling cost more money than eating dinner. Thus, we can take advantage of the money which is saved from family dinner to prepare to feed ourselves in the future.
Saving money is an excellent habit which will lead us to live better. For example, since college students' tuition is high, it is very necessary for us to save money.[这里表述不清，应该还有步骤，学费高-家庭负担重-为家里考虑-我们节约] After all, children maybe hunt a high salary job when getting the doctor degree. At that moment, we can make a plan for traveling. Even we take the money which is saved to invest on the stock market or operate a company. Thus, we will acquire more money to spend. Consequently, I argue that saving money for the future is more crucial than traveling.
In a nutshell, based on what I have mentioned, hardly I can agree with the statement that people spend money to have a vacation.
总得说来，文章观点明确条理清晰，用词高级。需要注意的是具体词的用法和搭配，以及句意表达和句型转换，有好多连着的句子都是我们、人们……开头。加油~

爱烤鱼的小伙UID: 2580692

不好意思哦，今天写了一天的论文已经晕头转向了，12号的作文明天早上一定改了给你发过来。实在不好意思！O(∩_∩)O~

爱烤鱼的小伙UID: 2580692

3.12Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Students who keep their rooms neat and organized tend to be more successful than students who do not.

Nowadays, there is a heated topic with sharply soaring volume about whether.这个开头写得挺不错的 Some people hold the view that students who keep their rooms neat will easily get success. In my perspective, I deem that friendly students who can make friends with most of us can tend to be successful. That is the reason why I disagree with their opinion.

Initially, students who keep their rooms neat indeed are excellent students, because their behaviors manifest that they can deal with their problems considerate（是不是应该用副词？）. For example, my sister, Alice was a child like that. Not only her room（这里多了一个her room吧） could she organize her room clean and neat, but also she handled every aspects with her best means（一般都是by means of的搭配，用with似乎不对，而且这个地方用这个词组意思不太明白，是不是用do her best比较好？） Alice had been the first rank in every exam since she began her study. It was the refutable fact that she got her success in her school life. However, those students like Alice cannot find a proper position in their careers. When obtaining her doctor degree, Alice hunted a job in a（an） international trade corporation. Considering her perfect marks in every subjects and（加个a） doctor（doctor's） degree, the manager desired to culture her to be an excellent employee, but Alice always cannot make friends with her co-workers. Alice told me that her colleagues including her manager are so stupid that she believed that all tasks should be refined by her. After having a quarry with her manager who was ready to point out her mistakes, she lost her job which is the first job in her life. The obvious conclusion realized from my sister（sister’s） experience is （that）some students like Alice who organized her room, even her study life neat, but they cannot obtain their success in their jobs.

As our society develops, communication skills play a crucial role in our daily life. If a student who cannot take advantage of his ability of making friend, his outcome in his career will be the same as Alice's. Once one people want to be successful, it is necessary for him to control communication skills, which is unrelated to his ability of keeping his room clean. For example, Jintao Hu is the great Chinese president and chairman of CCP. When being a student, he never did his home chores, but he is good at making friends with others. That is the reason why many party numbers chose him in the election. Therefore, Jintao Hu becomes the master of China. So, the success is derived from communication skills which can lead people to make friends rather than keeping people own room neat.

In a nutshell, based on what I have mentioned, hardly I can agree with the statement.
第一，这篇文章想说交朋友的技巧比整理房间更为重要，然后举了一个反面例子和一个正面例子来论证，思维挺不错的，不过感觉两段论述都有点罗嗦，需要浓缩一下。另外，最后一段貌似有点过短，建议楼主在后面再加上一句诸如“因为我觉得……”的话把自己的理由再陈述一次，这样子平衡了结构又点了题。最后，楼主的英语功底很不错，用了很多比较高级的词汇，这一点值得学习。不过有些地方的用法有点怪怪的不太正宗，建议楼主还是不要为了堆砌词汇而大量使用不太熟悉的词。

tqidtestUID: 2766196

3.12Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Students who keep their rooms neat and organized tend to be more successful than students who do not.

Nowadays, there is a heated topic with sharply soaring volume about whether. Some people hold the view that students who keep their rooms neat will easily get success. In my perspective, I deem that（重复了） friendly students who can make friends with most of us can tend to be successful. That is the reason why I disagree with their opinion.（中心句还是要重新写，不够清楚）


Students who keep their rooms neat indeed are excellent students, because their behaviors manifest that they can deal with their problems considerate，（however，without friends they might fail in the future）（既然要反驳，在第一句话一定要说明白整个段落的意思）For example, my sister, Alice was a child like that. Not only her room could she organize （her room）删 clean and neat, but also she handled every aspects of life with her best means. Alice had been the first rank in every exam since she began her school. It was the irrefutable fact that she got her success in her school life. （However, those students like Alice cannot find a proper position in their careers. （这句话显得突兀，行文要流畅么。。）When obtaining her doctor degree, Alice hunted a job in an international trade corporation. Considering her perfect marks in every subjects and doctor degree, the manager desired to culture her to be an excellent employee, but Alice always cannot make friends with her co-workers. Alice told me that her colleagues including her manager are so stupid that she believed that all tasks should be refined by her. After having a quarry with her manager who was ready to point out her mistakes, she lost her job which is the first job in her life. The obvious conclusion realized from my sister experience is some students like Alice who organized her room, even her study life neat, but they cannot obtain their success in their jobs.

As our society develops, communcation skills play a crucial role in our daily life. If a student who cannot take advantage of his ability of making friend, his outcome in his career will be the same as Alice's. Once one person want to be successful, it is necessary for him to grasp important communication skills, but not keeping his room clean. Take Chinese present chairman， Jintao Hu，as an example. When being a student, he never did his home chores, but he is good at making friends with others. That is the reason why many party numbers chose him in the election. Therefore, Jintao Hu becomes the master of China. So, the success is derived from communication skills which can lead people to make friends rather than keeping people own room neat.

In a nutshell, based on what I have mentioned, hardly I can agree with the statement.

Summary
我惭愧。Sorry for late。既然分组了我都会改的。。。but anyway I’m sorry.

首先jbc的词汇量还是够得，但是在句子的表达上还应该考究，正如小火的意见，有些话要简洁你的思路才会清晰的展现给考官。Alice的例子很长，去掉铺垫的地方，直接论述你所需要的部分才是重点。当然，这一方面不是英语水平而是汉语里表达的问题。写前先想好汉语怎么说你的文章会有很大的进步。
151# jbc88

annkeUID: 2605122

3.13: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Young people should try different job before they decide which job or career they will do in the long term.

Nowadays, there is a heated topic with sharply soaring volume about whether the young should try different jobs before they decide which job or career. Some people argue that trying different jobs is negative for young people. In my perspective, I deem young people should try a large amount of [a large amount of 一般是修饰不可数名称，这里有numerous/many/a variety of 更好]jobs in different fields. My reasons are as following.
Initially, doing different job can provide young people different experience and skills, which is good for their growth. As our economy increasing, now more and more companies require a huge number of [这感觉有点激动]talents who control more proficient skills and possess richer experience to defeat other companies. In other words, once whoever can satisfy requirements of companies, he will begin his career which he will do in the long term. [能满足要求就能长期干下去？论证不严密]Thus, different position, which means[mean] various jobs, is[are] where young people can acquire more experience and skills.[different positions are where young people can acquire more experience and skills,是不是这样说比较好呢，different positions are what  can provide more experience and skills/ it is from different positions that people can acquire more experience and skills. ] If being good at a specific task[这个句子也不是很好 being good at, 别扭啊], young people only will absorb a kind of experience and skill, which obviously disagrees with the requests[不符合:do not meet the demands/accord to the requirements/]of those companies. Finally, those young people who always stay at one job will be replaced by other young people who have knowledge of different subjects[证据？]. Therefore, young people demand to try different jobs. [the requests of those companies.是who control more proficient skills，但是，proficient熟练必须得在一个特定领域反复练习啊.这一段观点罗列很多，但缺乏论据，逻辑不严密。]
In addition, career plays a very crucial role in every people's life, whoever he is and no matter how old he is. Since career is a people's[a person’s] direction for everybody, young people will be confused in front of many different job offers when they decide what kind of job as their careers which they will devote their lifetime energy and time to complete[职业很重要，职业是航标，青年就会迷茫该选什么工作。。。太跳跃了吧。。举个例子，作为青年的我之所以迷茫可能是自己定位不明确，可能是更多地沉浸在学术知识之中与现实社会脱节，可能是我面前的各种具体的职业太多简直难以抉择！但职业重要肯定不是我迷茫的原因。]. Consequently, it is very normal phenomenon that they should constantly choose different jobs to try until they find a job which they regard as career. Just like shopping. We also seek and pick up different dresses to try when shopping in the mall so that we can choose a dress which can serve us forever. We will never know which dress is best for us to buy unless we try a host of kinds of dresses. According to the principle, we can easily conclude that young people should try various jobs.
In a nutshell, based on what I have mentioned, hardly I agree with those people opinion that it is unnecessary for young people to try different jobs. I believe that young people should try various jobs before they decide which job or career they will do in the long term.
[建议楼主写之前能拟提纲，训练逻辑的严密性，不然文章难以令人信服啊。]