作文本1.21更新到今天！(低落)

ivybettyUID: 2328308

Nowadays, there is a heated topic about children. Some people hold the view that children should study and play, while other people think children should help with household chores. In my perspective, I deem that children should not only study and play, but also help with household chores. My reasons are as following.

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Initially, children should study and play. Playing is children nature. It is no accident that every child loves to play. Take my experience as an example. I still remember that I played basketball in the playground with my classmates and shared the pleasure of videogames with my brothers. Now, I have my son. He always likes to play toys and go to the park with his friends. So, the relationship between children and entertainment is so close that we cannot prevent any children from playing. Studying also plays a crucial role in children's life. In China, children have been sent into kindergartens, since they were four years old. There are a host of courses for children such as math, Chinese and science, which are the basic knowledge for them to go to elemental(elementary?) schools. According to the Chinese education law, all of Chinese children should be taught by professional teachers in kindergartens. Furthermore, parents have no right to inhibit children not to be sent into kindergarten. The news which I heard in the last year reported that a father was put into the prison due to his behavior that he banned his daughter to go to the kindergarten. (教育法真的有关于送孩子去幼儿园的要求吗?不送去幼儿园真会引发刑事责任?)Hence, children should study and play.# X8 C# a( d: j+ a: c4 ~1 y+ O: w

In addition, children should help with house chores. It is necessary for any children to take care of themselves, because their parents cannot accompany with them for his life. Thus, children must be take responsibility of helping with hours(??) chores. Once children are(become?) adults, they will do house chores. In other words, they will take care of themselves when they are not children any more. Except this excurse(excuse?), doing house chores bring a large amount of benefits to children. The first, it makes children live independently. In the progress of doing house chores, children can realize and learn how to live. The second, it causes children to assistant their family. During the time when their parents are working, children can do house chores in order to release their parents pressure, which resulting in a harmony family.#

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In the nutshell, I argue that children should not only study and play, but also help with household chores. That is the reason why I hardly agree with the statement.
开头结尾都很好 观点鲜明
个别拼写要注意了
在就是例子的可靠性

cloriswongUID: 2773852

Nowadays, there is a heated topic with sharply soaring volume about the ability of writing and reading. Some people hold the view that the ability of writing and reading is less important than before. In my perspective, I deem that ability of reading is more important than before and ability of writing is less important than before.

Initially, as our technology and science develop, our inventions become more and more（change a lot）. Nobody can deny the fact that the greatest invention in 20th century is computers (虽然是整体，是否应用单数啊). Since in 1990 （Since 这里是因为还是自从，如果是自从，in就不要了吧） Virginia invented the first computer which was a machine as huge as three rooms, （but）now computers which are mini machines ( whose volume become small) has been regarded as the necessary office tools for all of (the) people in the world. Especially, some international software companies program a host of various and functional software with following (following with) the development of computer. Not only by software can we take advantage of to deal with problems, but also by Internet, which totally release us from writing.(感觉理由发展要再充分些) For example, we used to write letter to communicate （with）each other in the past, while we utilize online voice devices to keep in touch with other people. So, writing is not important any more. (观点是不再比以前重要，这里又说不重要了)

In addition, the more popular computers become（improve）, the more information we can receive. According to the survey by Virginia University, some professors and experts report that our information has been increased (时态)150% per day. Thus, we are in the era of knowledge. If we cannot skim some essay quickly or we cannot obtain much knowledge from many different kinds of information resource, we will be failed. In other words, the ability of reading will play a very crucial role in our life. For instance, Reading section of TOEFL paper-based test used to be（contained） two 500 words passages in the past, nevertheless now reading section of TOEFL internet-based test (it) including (includes) three 1100 words passages. It entirely manifests that ETS require students more advanced (to advance) ability of reading, otherwise why does ETS reform TOEFL exam from PBT(paper-based test) to IBT(internet-based test)? Hence, it is very obvious that ability of reading is more vital than before.

In the nutshell, based on what I have mentioned above, I deem that ability of reading is more important than before and ability of writing is less important than before. That is the reason why I refute the statement that the ability of writing and reading is less important than before.(最后感觉有点罗唆)

Uranus1989UID: 2756616

3.5：Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? In order tobecome a financially responsible adult, people should be taught how tomanage money at an early age.
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Should people be taught how to manage money at an early age? It is aheated topic with sharply soaring volume. Some people hold the viewthat it is no necessary to be taught how to manage money at an earlyage. In my perspective, I deem that people should be educated to managemoney at an early age in group to be a financially responsible adult.& V( g' S- ?' r8 N8 z

9 C* j# ~! p) O" V; yInitially, howto manage money is a kind of skill. If we want to become financiallyresponsible adult, we should obtain the skill that(of) how to manage money.Nevertheless, how to manage money is a kind of skill which should betrained at children hood(childhood). For example, Richard who is my classmate ofbusiness college(改成Richard, one of my classmates of business college,改成插入语的形式会比较好吧) was born in a rich family. When he was a child, hecould purchase whatever he want due to his family wealth. I saw himbought the sneaker which cost him 120 dollars. I still remember onceRichard invited all of the classmates to his home for dinner. Thedinner had many and various(many various) dishes which I never tested(tasted). Richard usedto spend a lager amount of money to bought different commodities. Istill remember many classmates borrow money from Richard, but Richardalways lent to them. Sometimes, some classmates did not give back tohim, he never mention the debts in front of their face. For my part, heis a people who have no idea about his money problem. Now, with hisfather's company bankrupt, his family becomes poor. Even though he gotaccounting doctor degree(got a phd in accounting比较好吧), he cannot control his desire to spend money.So, if we did not teach children how to manage money, they will be poor.
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In addition, as soon as people are taught how to manage money at anearly age, they will be people who can manage their money well. Forinstance, Alice who is my mother(我觉得这样很不美观啊my mother, Alice) lived in a poor family. Since mygrandmother taught my mother how to save money, my mother has been afinancially responsible housewife. Until now our families do not ownany debts and my family life also is pleasant. Hence, only by teachingpeople how to manage money at an early age can we become financiallyresponsible adults.
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  B  o, \+ V1 Q) ?, JIn thenutshell, based on what I have mentioned, I agree with the statementpeople should be taught how to manage money at an early age, so thatthey become a financially responsible adult.
怎么觉得这篇文章的语言有点生硬啊，还是LZ由于没想好怎么写所以导致语言也有点生硬。另外，我觉得LZ的例子占的篇幅有点太大了，尤其当LZ比较喜欢用自己周围的人来当例子的时候，用那么大的篇幅写的话，反正给我的感觉就是没话硬找话,要是能多有些自己的分析会不会更好些呢。
但是总的来说，这篇文章还是不错的。

bigmasterUID: 2697733

130# jbc88

3.6：Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Government should pay more attention on health care issues than on environmental issues.5 Q0 i4 S3 z* K( W( h9 Y
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Nowadays, there is a heated topic with sharply soaring volume about what government should do. Some people hold the view that government should pay more attention on health care issues. In my perspectives, I deem that government should pay more attention on environmental issues. My reasons are as following., c0 y7 P# i+ l
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Initially, it is the irrefutable fact that healthy plays a very crucial role in every people's life. Since no one cannot ignore the importance of healthy, government should invest more money on health care issues. However, if government pays more attention on health care issues, the policy will bring more matters. Some people who support that policy must ask me why(删除此句). The reason is （that） health care issues are caused by our environment. According to the survey by Virginia University, some experts and professors argue that 80% diseases in American have direct relationship with environmental pollutions（赞！）. For example, I believe anyone remember the history in 2000（2003年吧？） that SARS which is a powerful virus was speared all of countries in the world during three months, which results in 30000 people deaths. The World Health Organize reported that SARS is created by water pollutions. Therefore, even though government put all of its attention on health care issues, all of citizens will not be benefited from the action which applied by government, because the speed of virus growing is faster than the speed of scientists inventing a new medicine for killing the virus. Hence, we should choose a ration means to handle health care issues. The solution is that government pays more attention on environmental issues. If we insist government should pay more fund on health care issues, my friend experience will refute the thinking. Richard who is my best friend and classmate live in a community which was very clean. Two years ago, the local government allowed steel factories to be established in the community in group to obtain more tax for paying the fee of health care（赞！）. However, the smokes and sewage which were come from those factories make local environment to be damaged. Richard also was sick, and then he died last weekend. In Richard’s funeral, I regard that we were cheated by government policy, otherwise, why did Richard die? It is obvious that Richard death is caused by air and water pollutions rather than insufficient health care. If government had paid fund which was spend on health care issue to environmental issues, Richard would not had been died.

In the nutshell, based on what I have mentioned, I cannot agree with the statement that government should pay more attention on health care issues than on environmental issues.

词汇丰富，例子比较多，也很生动。论据部分如果只有一段的话可能不太好，建议将中间部分分开写。说错之处还请多多包涵。

bensonseuUID: 2707369

3.6：Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Government should pay more attention on health care issues than on environmental issues.

Nowadays, there is a heated topic with sharply soaring volume about what government should do. Some people hold the view that government should pay more attention on health care issues. In my perspectives（这里是单数好还是负数好？我也不知道。。。望请教之~~）, I deem that government should pay more attention on environmental issues. My reasons are as following.4

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Initially, it is the irrefutable fact that healthy plays a very crucial role in every people's life. Since no one cannot ignore the importance of healthy, government should invest more money on health care issues. However, if government pays more attention on health care issues, the policy will bring more matters. Some people who support that policy must ask me why. The reason is health care issues are caused by our environment. According to the survey by Virginia University, some experts and professors argue that 80% diseases in American have direct relationship with environmental pollutions. For example, I believe anyone remember the history in 2000 that SARS which is a powerful virus was speared all of countries in the world during three months, which results in 30000 people deaths. The World Health Organize reported that SARS is created by water pollutions. Therefore, even though government put all of its attention on health care issues, all of citizens will not be benefited from the action which（去掉which） applied by government, because the speed of virus growing is faster than the speed of scientists inventing a new medicine for killing the virus. Hence, we should choose a ration means to handle health care issues. The solution is that government pays more attention on environmental issues. If we insist government should pay more fund on health care issues, my friend experience will refute the thinking. Richard who is my best friend and classmate live in a community which was very clean. Two years ago, the local government allowed steel factories to be established in the community in group to obtain more tax for paying the fee of health care. However, the smokes and sewage which were（去掉） come from those factories make local environment to be damaged. Richard also was sick, and then he died last weekend. In Richard’s funeral, I regard that we were cheated by government policy, otherwise, why did Richard die? It is obvious that Richard（Richard’s？我也不肯定。。。） death is caused by air and water pollutions rather than insufficient health care. If government had paid fund which was spend on health care issue to environmental issues, Richard would not had been died.
In the nutshell, based on what I have mentioned, I cannot agree with the statement that government should pay more attention on health care issues than on environmental issues

（额。。。终于还是读下来了，想必你也发现了，中间一段那么长确实让人读下来很累。另外，我不知道ets是怎么想的，但是我对于举我们自己或者身边的人的例子就会惯性地打上“假冒”的烙印，感觉仿佛就是为了论证命题编造出来的“事实”一样。不过，仅是个人建议，有说过的地方还请海涵。）

bensonseuUID: 2707369

3.7：Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Visiting museums is the best way to learn about a country.. Z) ]- Q, c% U0 c0 [* ?; |

Is visiting museums the best way to learn about a country? It is a heated topic with sharply soaring volume（Richard—介意我这样叫你么？—的作文看来已经形成模板了，不过，我个人以为这次题目好似也没那么heated，更没有sharply soaring volume呵呵。。。好吧，我又挑刺儿了~(*^__^*) ~）. Some people hold the view that visiting museums is the best way to learn about a country. In my perspective, I deem that visiting museums is a way to understand about a country. I hardly agree with their opinion. My reasons are as following.

Initially, every country has its unique culture and customs which is manifested（这个词我不熟悉，怎么用的能解释下么？） by local people daily life. However, Museums are the places which are built for visitors to realize local history. Therefore, we cannot merely depend on visiting museums to get all information about a country. Since museums possess limited artworks and books which are belong to the past time of a country, what we obtain is the knowledge which is unrelated to local current customs, people and cultures, even staying museums for a week. Just like my experience. I went to China Last year, but after I saw the great wall museum, I believe that it is no difference between what I saw by myself and what I saw by photo（敲错了？没懂···）. Thus, there is no any reasons to visit a country, because you can acquire all information which are already excited（existed,个人建议去掉are，直接就是which already existed） in books at museums. In other words, it is no necessary for us to visit museums except the excuse that we want to get that information by ourselves. Hence, visiting museums is a way to learn about a country.（说实话，thus往后的逻辑我没看懂，愿与你讨论之~~）

In addition, we can try other means to learn about a country such as talking with local people, shopping in local malls, and eating local food, which will lead us to realize a country actually. For instance, besides the great wall museum, I also went to the Beijing which is capital in China. I bought a host of Chinese tea cups which give me much knowledge about Chinese tea. Furthermore, I participated in activities which were organized by Chinese college students during the week when I was staying at Beijing University（Peking University）, and then I learn（learnt） about China more though discussing with many Chinese students. What makes me impressive is Chinese food. I hardly image how Chinese can cook these many and various food. Even sometimes I did not know what I should eat because I desired to eat them all. The truth is that what I got from museums should（should？恕我也没想到更好的词。。。） be ignored by comparing what I obtained from Beijing.

In the nutshell, based on what I have mentioned above, I disagree with the statement that visiting museums is the best way to learn about a country.

（呵呵，很欣慰的是你这篇文章的思路和我的那篇是一样的， a way but not the best way``````一些建议和错误已经给出，一些我没懂的或者说错的还请赐教）

lain0119UID: 2695504

Is visiting museums the best way to learn about a country? It is a heated topic with sharply soaring volume. Some people hold the view that visiting museums is the best way to learn about(建议换种说法吧~毕竟the best way to learn about在上文已经说过了~比如把learn about换成comprehend之类的？！） a country. In my perspective, I deem that visiting museums is a way to understand about a country. I hardly agree with their opinion. （上下两句话可以用though 连接，也许有逻辑感一些？！）My reasons are as following.

Initially, every country has its unique culture and customs which is manifested by local people daily life. However, Museums are the places which are built for visitors to realize local history. Therefore, we cannot merely depend on visiting museums to get all information about a country. Since museums possess limited artworks and books which are belong to the past time of a country, what we obtain is the knowledge which is unrelated to local current customs, people and cultures, even staying museums for a week. Just like my experience. I went to China Last year, but after I saw the great wall museum, I believe that it is no difference between what I saw by myself and what I saw by photo. Thus, there is no any reasons to visit a country, because you can acquire all information which are already excited in books at museums. In other words, it is no （换成not吧~）necessary for us to visit museums except the excuse that we want to get that information by ourselves. Hence, visiting museums is a way to learn about a country.（这段应该是让步段吧？！我觉得第二句话应该提到第一句话的位置，先竖个靶子，后面的才来反驳~段落结尾的最后一句最好还要来一个因为博物馆不能了解比较鲜活的文化，因此只能算方法的一种，远谈不上最佳）

In addition, we can try other means to learn about a country such as talking with local people, shopping in local malls, and eating local food, which will lead us to realize a country actually. For instance,（这里最好提示一下这个例子正好是上文举过的~比如说consider the instance mentioned again之类的） besides the great wall museum, I also went to the Beijing which is capital in China. I bought a host of Chinese tea cups which give me much knowledge about Chinese tea. Furthermore, I participated in activities which were organized by Chinese college students during the week when I was staying at Beijing University, and then I learn（时态~） about China more though discussing with many Chinese students. What makes me impressive is Chinese food（还是时态）. I hardly image how Chinese can cook these many and various food. （这句可以变倒装让文章更牛x）Even sometimes I did not know what I should eat because I desired to eat them all. The truth is that what I got from museums should be ignored（should be ignored换pales怎么样呢？前天才从TPO阅读看来的，哈哈~） by comparing what I obtained from Beijing.   

In the nutshell, based on what I have mentioned above, I disagree with the statement that visiting museums is the best way to learn about a country.

大家的思路都差不多，哈哈~by the way ，which的从句有点多了，多用独立主格结构，分词结构，同位语怎么样呢？！要是有问题我们一起来探讨吧~

shirley072UID: 2712200

Nowadays, there is a heated topic with sharply soaring volume about education. Some people hold the view that encouraging children to take the part-time job is one of the best means for parents to help them to prepare for adult life. However, I deem that there are a host of means for parents to help their children to prepare for adult life, whereas encouraging children to take the part-time job which is merely one way among them is not the best ways（如标出的部分，结构稍微有点不清晰）.

Initially, parents can utilize college studying to help（用studying去帮助貌似有点奇怪，help children in their study?）their children to prepare for adult life. As our society develops, college education plays more and more crucial role in children lives with our knowledge and science constantly strengthening (对于这个with分句我觉得有点不连贯，所以感觉多余了). Therefore, if parents desire their children to prepare for adult life, it is necessary for children to enter college's gates（attend college）. College life can bring children better ability for adopting (adapting) society. Some people may argue that past-time job should be a (an) excellent idea for children to prepare for adult life. According to a survey by Virginia University, experienced professors and experts report that 70% college students in American have the part-time job in group to earn money for their tuition. The case mainly manifests that part-time jobs are included in college life. Thus, not only knowledge and skills can college students absorb, but also part-time jobs can college students take advantage of free time to hunt. Consequently, one of best ways for parents to help children prepare for adult life is to send them to college rather than the part-time job.

In addition, part-time job have some negative effect on children. Since part-time jobs usually are low salary positions (offer positions with low salary), children will be lost their confidence of success. For example, my brother, Richard was a mailman when he was 17th. Until now he has still been working in a post office. Every time I encourage him to get a high salary job, but he rejects me with the reason that he used to be a mailman and he has insufficient ability to get a better job. Even though Richard regards that his career is to be mailman, there is irrefutable fact that Richard's marks in high school is the best. I cannot image how Richard would have been, if Richard had resigned his part-time job in post office.

In the nutshell, based on what I have mentioned, hardly can I agree the statement that taking the part-time job is the best ways to teenage children prepare for adult life.

首先，因为题目给的是part-time job is one of the best ways，所以第二段的论证说part-time job的优点，我觉得也是在说明题目的观点就是的确是其中一个方法，貌似就跟文章的主要思想想违背了，我想jbc88童鞋的意思是包含在education life中间，是一个minor part，但是呢这感觉不是一个充分的论据去否认part-time job is one of the best ways，或者说明有更多的其他方式去鼓励children
第三段的论证呢就是觉得有点不自然，为什么低工资会打击自信呢？我觉得低工资可以让小孩觉得生活艰辛，而在job中间遇到的困难，挫败等才会打击自己呢