argument154 第一次限时写出的习作--太垃圾了，努力呀，还有18天了

itsuperUID: 2603075

TOPIC: ARGUMENT66 - The following appeared in a letter from a firm providing investment advice to a client.

"Homes in the northeastern United States, where winters are typically cold, have traditionally used oil as their major fuel for heating. Last year that region experienced 90 days with below-average temperatures, and climate forecasters at Waymarsh University predict that this weather pattern will continue for several more years. Furthermore, many new homes have been built in this region during the past year. Because of these developments, we predict an increased demand for heating oil and recommend investment in Consolidated Industries, one of whose major business operations is the retail sale of home heating oil."
WORDS: 364          TIME: 00:30:00          DATE: 2010/3/4 23:22:32

In the argument , the author recomment investment in Consolidated Industies. To support the recommendation,  the author points out that northeastern United  States experienced 90 days with below-average temperature and point out the major fuel for heating in that region is oil .Then author assume accordingly that the need for oil would increase and draw the conclusion that Consolidated Industires ,one of whose major business operations is the retail sale, would get much profits. However, this arguments suffers from several flaws, which render it as unconvincing.

To begin with, 90 days with below-avarage temperatures is too vague to indicate the winter temperatures in the northeastem United States become lower. The author fails to points out those 90 days are winter days. If those 90 days are in summer ,then this phenomena can only indicate the climate in summber become cool and it is entirely possible the temperature in winter would stay the same or even higher. Without pointing out the season in which the 90 days are, this fact would contribute nothing to the declining tempature in that region.

Secondly, even supposing the need of heating oil in northeastem United State would increased a lot, it is too hastily to say that the company which sell   heating oil  would increase profits.  Profit is the result of revenues substrasting the costs. Without analysising the current market, it is likely that the costs to import the oil would increase, so the increasing of profits can not be ensured.

Finally, supposing selling heating oil would make more money in the future, it is also too hastily to assume Consolidated Industies would make more profits.  Retail sale of home heating oil is just one of the major business operations in Consolidated Industries. It can not ensure Consolidated Industries' other busineess would also increase profits. Maybe , after considering all the busineess , the total profits in COnsolidated Industries would decrease.

In sum , the argument is not convincing as it stands. To bolster it , the auther must point out the season in which the 90 days of below-average temperature are. Also ,the author should analyze the market of heating oil and consider Consolidated Industies 's other busineess.

没有作任何修改， 写的十分的垃圾， 明天回来改

itsuperUID: 2603075

In the argument , the author recommend investment in Consolidated Industries. To support this recommendation,  the author cites the fact that northeastern United  States experienced 90 days with below-average temperature and point out the major fuel for heating in that region is oil .Then author assume accordingly that the need for oil would increase and draw the conclusion that Consolidated Intestines ,one of whose major business operations is the retail sale, would get much profits. However, this arguments suffers from several flaws, which render it as unconvincing.

To begin with, 90 days with below-average temperatures is too vague to indicate that winter temperatures in the northeastern United States become lower. The author fails to points out those 90 days are winter days. If those 90 days are in summer ,then this phenomena can only indicate the climate in summer become cool and it is entirely possible the temperature in winter would stay the same or even higher. Without pointing out the season in which the 90 days are, this fact would contribute nothing to prove the lowing temperature in winter.


Secondly, even supposing the need of heating oil in northeastern United State would increased a lot, it is too hastily to say that the company which sell heating oil would increase profits.  Profit is the result of subtracting the costs from revenues. Without analyzing the trend of current market, it is likely that the costs to import the oil would increase, then the increasing of profits can not be ensured.


Finally, supposing selling heating oil would make more money in the future, it is also too hastily to assume Consolidated Industries would make more profits.  Retail sale of home heating oil is just one of the major business operations in Consolidated Industries. It can not ensure Consolidated Industries' other businesses would also increase profits or at least hold the profits. Maybe , after considering all the business , the total profits in Consolidate Industries would decrease.

In sum , the argument is not convincing as it stands. To bolster it , the author must point out the season in which the 90 days of below-average temperature are. Also ,the author should analyze the market of heating oil and consider Consolidated Industries 's other businesses.

--- 错别字不少,很多句型也用的不是很准确