Yuki的作文贴

zak_chemistryUID：2612236

上传晚了，望楼主原谅！！！

longxue26UID：2687755

16# zak_chemistry

没事儿没事儿啦

远远在笑UID：2742022

7.20

longxue26UID：2687755

18# 远远在笑

谢谢同学 辛苦了

longxue26UID：2687755

7-22
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Students who keep their rooms neat and organized will be more likely to succeed than students who do not.

Parents would always love to see their childrenkeep rooms well ordered and many people tend to assert that the good habit willhelp students move closer to future success than others. As to this point,however, I don't agree with it.

First, there isn't any necessary connectionbetween keeping neat and obtain success. Comparing to Bill Gates, it seems thata lot more people in this world failed in inventing and promoting software. Butnothing can demonstrate our homes are dirty and messed. On the other hand, Ithink nobody can promise Mr Gates's rooms are well cleaned all the time. It'svery common that some people like to keep clean but some don't.

In fact, this happens a lot. Parents and teachersalways require students to clean the house but actually students just have todo what they don't love to. As adults are still mistakenly taking this for the preponderanceof reaching success, big pressure on children's shoulders might have been toooverwhelming, finally leading to failures instead. What's worse, there may belittle time and space left for students themselves to develop their realinterests which is the substantial basic of gaining achievements.

Human beings are ever changing. Some students wholoved doing housework once, for some reason, are likely to change their habit,too, especially when they move out of family and live alone. In this case, wecan't conclusively to say that a promising kid has lost the game. On thecontrary, the surface disorders possibly indicate they are in the process offighting with difficulties and success is coming up soon.

People prefer decent attitudes towards life andare prone to link them to beautiful things. It's completely understandable butwhether to succeed or not, keeping rooms neat and clean is nowhere near enough.Everybody should work hard and don't give up, it's the right key.

frlenderUID：2629962

20# longxue26
修改毕，不同意见欢迎讨论！

mikestoneUID：2734495

修改完了，多多讨论哈。

longxue26UID：2687755

22# mikestone

谢谢你的修改 非常受用 这次写作文没精神 哎~ 下次多多努力

mikestoneUID：2734495

23# longxue26
哈哈，你修改的非常认真，谢谢了。
我QQ联系你，不过你没有理我。

longxue26UID：2687755

24# mikestone

啊  是吗 我不知道啊  那就是在抱歉了

你再联系我一下我看看 不好意思 不好意思

longxue26UID：2687755

7.24

Do you agree or disagreewith the following statement? Sports teach people lessons about life.

Some people love doing sports for health and some love watching sport games for fun. Some people devoted all their lives into sports and some would rather spend sleeping time for supporting their favorite team. So why so many people love sports and even get crazy about it? A good answer is sports teach people lessons about life. I couldn't agree more with that.

First, sport tells us people should keep high spirit of fighting for success. I watched a tennis game between Lina, a Chinese net woman, and elder Ms. Williams. The most critical point came to Lina with a great possibility to be defeated. But under this big pressure, Lina kept catching the powerful balls from Willioms carefully and hitting nice returns with all her strength. Finally Lina got the point and the situation turned to be lucky for her. I was surprised of Lina's admirable character, which means a lot in my daily life, too. Now each time I run into challenges and heavy pressure, the recall of that scene will always remind me that I should never give up and fight to the end.

Sport shows us how significant cooperation is. Nowadays, teamwork has become distinctly more important, which we can directly learn from the World Cup. As French team had to go back home with the loss in group competition, the most serious defect, but obviously also the worst one, was exposed to us that no cooperation no win. It's the same with what we do in our life. When a group work together in company, sharing your valuable information and good ideas with others in the team will help create bigger chances of success. On the contrary, to be showy or indifferent will only bring about discontent from others and break the team in the end.

More important, sport gives hopes and dreams equally to everyone in this world, regardless whether we are wholesome or disabled. The strong inspiration flowing from sports is the light of hope breaking through clouds of all difficulties in life, leading a bright way towards happiness. Every moment we see disabled sportsmen sweating on the playground for their dreams, we can’t help marveling how much hope of life sport creates for us.

Sport just seems like a wonderful stage where all of our life stories are being showed. As we appreciate and taste it, meanwhile, it teaches us how to enjoy it.

lxg198607UID：2564115

Do you agree or disagreewith the following statement? Sports teach people lessons about life.

Some people love doing sports for health and some love watching sport games for fun（第一行就有三个some, 是不是可以用其他词代替下、）Some people devoted all their lives into sports and some would rather spend（give up是不是更好点啊） sleeping time for supporting their favorite team. So why so many people love sports and even get crazy about it? A good answer is sports teach people lessons about life. I couldn't agree more with that.

First, sport tells us people （是不是应该统一下人称，要么us 要么people they. 这里改成tell people they 好点吧）should keep high spirit of fighting for success. I watched a tennis game between Lina, a Chinese net woman, and elder Ms. Williams. The most critical point came to Lina with a great possibility to be defeated. But under this big pressure, Lina kept catching the powerful balls from Willioms carefully and hitting nice returns with all her strength. Finally Lina got the point and the situation turned to be lucky for her. I was surprised of Lina's admirable character, which means a lot in my daily life, too. Now each time I run into challenges and heavy pressure, the recall of that scene will always remind me that I should never give up and fight to the end.
这段论述不错，不过是否事例占据过多，说理少点了呢。。
Sport shows us how significant cooperation is. Nowadays, teamwork has become distinctly more importantly, which we can directly learn from the World Cup. As French team had to go back home with the loss in group competition(这个不太懂，是小组赛被淘汰了吗，还是缺乏群体竞争力), the most serious defect, but obviously also the worst one, was exposed to us that no cooperation no win. It's the same with what we do in our life. When a group work together in company, sharing your valuable information and good ideas with others in the team will help create bigger chances of success. On the contrary, to be showy or indifferent will only bring about discontent from others and break the team in the end.

More important, sport gives hopes and dreams equally to everyone in this world, regardless whether we are wholesome or disabled. The strong inspiration flowing from sports is the light of hope breaking through clouds of all difficulties in life, leading a bright way towards happiness. Every moment we see disabled sportsmen sweating on the playground for their dreams, we can’t help marveling how much hope of life sport creates for us.

Sport just seems like a wonderful stage where all of our life stories are being showed. As we appreciate and taste it, meanwhile, it teaches us how to enjoy it.
首先感谢下大姐对我的认真修改，辛苦啦。。
其次，楼主的文章还是结构清楚，例子丰富，就是长句有点多，看得有点晕。总体还是不错的。加油。。。

candyleenUID：2709520

Yuki姐，我的水平实在有限，改得不好，你多多见谅了~

longxue26UID：2687755

28# candyleen

你辛苦了 谢谢啊

longxue26UID：2687755

27# lxg198607

嗯 谢谢你的意见 我写着写着 句子就变长了 我也不知道怎么回事 哈哈 我一定牢记你的建议