【Daily Writing作文特训小组】坏绿眼睛作业帖，求虐，求讽刺打击挖苦吐槽，唔

坏绿的眼睛UID: 3138294

TPO19

In order to be well-informed ,a person must get information from many different news resources?

In the modern society, people learned everything from different media tools, such as newspapers and TV news, I do believe that no one could avoiding get information form the surrounding news resources and it does work better rather than absorbs news form only one resource, because It could ensure these information were objective. I will present my explanation.

First of all, it could not enabled information are right form only one resource. Take my experience for an example, I always reading a newspapers named 'Southern Weekends' and used to get information from its passages. So, last year, a huge traffic accident happened at the national high way of my hometown, I was so worried about its casualties and if these casualties including my families or friends or not. I brought the newest 'Southern weekends', unfolded all layouts, looked for injured person list and final got it. Nobody knows I read my best friends' name on it and I did not tell anyone about because I can not believe this is true. Thus I called this close friend and surely I could not get touch with him. At that time I feel deeply sad. Then I tell it to one of my classmate and he suggested me to find another casualties list. I obligated to him and watched news living on TV, noticed that injured woman named Lily is not my friend 'lily'. Thanks to this classmate who suggested me to watch TV news, I got the truth before crash.

Then, edificial from different individuals could ensure the passage tell objective truth. As everyone knows, everyone would have his own standard and view about different factors. Due to this condition, no one could deny the fact that jurists always broadcasting news which is related personal emotion. And this stumble emotion could not keep same pace with people. So, it is necessary to learning news thought different ways. When 'Guomeimei' case happened, most of newpapers'view tend to forgiven this younger who spending her father's public money on a plenty of  LV baggages. But views from internet media tell the legal points about this case because they affording less pressure from this girl's father who is a secret vizir. Hence, if someone who is always watching one newspaper, he or she could not receive the objective information.

Finally, different media has different style and advantage on its passages. That is, the more news resources you touch, the easier points you got. Imaging that one day a younger whose favorite newspaper is Sports weekly need to know deeper about one polite individual, it is necessary to find another resource as soon as possible, because it is impossible to find more information about this domain on this kind of newspaper.

In conclusion, I believe anyone who want to be a well-informed person and want to get a deeper understanding about this society, he or she must learn to get information from different resources and this essay is my explanation.

秋雨荆州UID: 2903781

91# 坏绿的眼睛

坏绿的眼睛UID: 3138294

18. Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Students are more influenced by their teachers than by their friends.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

I believe that no one could deny the fact that teachers and friends effected mostly for individuals. But it is seemingly to confirm that which influence more for Youngers, especially students. In my point of view, I tend to hold the point that friends effected students more for several reasons, such as the same age level, the more communication and common experiences, they truly pull good friends affected each other deeply. To this end, I will present my explanation.

First of all, almost students make friends with others within campus, that means almost of their friends who are setting at the same age levels. Due to the condition, a invesgation made by a social science team led by Mr.King of H.K.U could confirmed my point that youngers' emotions and actions influenced by friends more, because communication  is more easier  for individuals who are same years old and they know each other. In fact, over 70 percent of 1,000 people do agree with my point of view. That means, when students fall into deep water, he or she could choose ask for help from friends rather than teachers.

Then, students spend more time get together with friends rather than teachers. Imaging someone whose best friends is one of classmates, that means he has the most chances  to get deeper understanding about friends, no matter in par-time or discussion part of classroom, it proved them influced most .  At the same time, teacher just related students in classroom. So I believed friends have more advantages at impacting for students. Take my experience for example, three years ago I facing make choice on my own to decide if attending a poetry game. At that time, I received letters so accidently that I have no time to talk with my parents, hence I have a discussion about my good friends within college roof garden, I decided attending this activity and handing in my forms in time. That is a perfect choice and I made it with my friends' encouragement and agreement. They know me so deeply that could judge situations for me. I

Finally, even though the guide from teachers is even beneficial for students, but  what's more important, youngers has their own world, in others words, the age lap lies between they and their teachers. But, on contrary, individuals who could became friends means they have common experiences and  sense about  almost substance outside, these advantages which could not contained by teachers  enable friends effected  students more.

In all, I always believe that friends are important and even closed as families for students. They have common sense, same feeling, and the list would never end. If there is anyone looking from outside deny my point, this essay is my answer.

idealibtUID: 2667256

I believe that no one could deny the fact that teachers and friends effected mostly for individuals.
=》effect 作为影响的时候是名词，动词建议用affect. affect作为影响的时候是及物动词，不需介词for

But it is seemingly to confirm that which influence more for Youngers, especially students.
=》it is 后面加表语adj. Seemingly是adv,修饰动词放在这里不合适,建议改为it seems that
=》既然用了seem：好像 后面却是confirm断定，有冲突吧
=》which在这里指代的是什么呢？前面的teachers and friends么？如果是 这里引导词应该是who吧

In my point of view, I tend to hold the point that friends effected students more for several reasons, such as the same age level, the more communication and common experiences, they truly pull good friends affected each other deeply. To this end, I will present my explanation.
=》in my point of view 很少在英文文章里见过，大多用from my point of view
=》I tend to 感觉态度有点不坚定，表达观点可用strongly insist that // I am convinced that
=》总体来说开头段落结构ok 观点陈列清晰

First of all, almost students make friends with others within campus, that means almost of their friends who are setting at the same age levels.
=》almost几乎 这个放在students前面是什么意思呢 表示大多数人这样？建议表达方式：large number of // numerous students // a considerable proportion of students // a great share of students
=》观点陈述句给出说：朋友大多是在一个年龄段。由于是分论点，建议点一下同一个年龄段带来的结果、影响。把句子丰满一下，可以加一个从句什么的，比如：since（由于）大部分人的friends都是用一个年龄段，他们在一起会有更多的topics等（目的是更detail一些）

Due to the condition, a invesgation made by a social science team led by Mr.King of H.K.U could confirmed my point that youngers' emotions and actions influenced by friends more, because communication  is more easier  for individuals who are same years old and they know each other. In fact, over 70 percent of 1,000 people do agree with my point of view. That means, when students fall into deep water, he or she could choose ask for help from friends rather than teachers.
=》 that means前面已经出现过一次，建议替换一下，比如That is to say // which means
=》 choose ask 两个动词不可能连用的 建议避免出现类似低级错误
=》 ask for help可替换为resort to
& P" }! ~- o' H% l
Then, students spend more time get together with friends rather than teachers.
=》还是分论点陈述不够切题的问题：根据第一段给出的三个points 这一段应该是讲communication了，可分论点讲述的是和friends在一起时间比较久，建议直接切入主题，说朋友之间更容易沟通

Imaging someone whose best friends is one of classmates, that means he has the most chances  to get deeper understanding about friends, no matter in par-time or discussion part of classroom, it proved them influced most .  
=》whose best friends is 单复数问题 简单错误建议避免
=》that means 建议替换为 which is to say
=》imagine是设想出来的 感觉不够有说服力，建议直接写for instance, in the classroom
=》这句话没看懂 特别是it proved them influenced most


At the same time, teacher just related students in classroom.
=》查过词典 relate没有直接加somebody的用法，建议替换表达方式，比如they spend time together most in the classroom and seldom outside the school.

So I believed friends have more advantages at impacting for students.
=》 优点？这篇文章论证的是影响力，建议换一个表达方式 比如 more influential // plays more influential role

Take my experience for example, three years ago I facing make choice on my own to decide if attending a poetry game.
=》这句话没有谓语动词 I facing？ 且 face后面不能直接用make啊

At that time, I received letters so accidently that I have no time to talk with my parents, hence I have a discussion about my good friends within college roof garden, I decided attending this activity and handing in my forms in time.
=》have a discussion + with someone 如果用about  朋友就变成讨论内容了
=》decide to do

That is a perfect choice and I made it with my friends' encouragement and agreement. They know me so deeply that could judge situations for me. I . }4 y  g8 V3 ~, ]( q- b

Finally, even though the guide from teachers is even beneficial for students, but  what's more important, youngers has their own world, in others words, the age lap lies between they and their teachers.
=》 guide是动词 名词形式为guidance
=》这里怎么出现了age lap？ 想说的是gap? 且 如果说age的问题，建议放在第一个分论点段落中，那一段不是讲的age么？

But, on contrary, individuals who could became friends means they have common experiences and  sense about  almost substance outside, these advantages which could not contained by teachers  enable friends effected  students more.
=》这一段没有举例 或者 更加详尽的陈述 明显没有前两段有说服力 有点空
& F# s* X0 n& s
In all, I always believe that friends are important and even closed as families for students. They have common sense, same feeling, and the list would never end. If there is anyone looking from outside deny my point, this essay is my answer.
=》亲密 close就好 为何closed：关闭的
=》same前面一般伴随the的出现

坏绿的眼睛UID: 3138294

92# 秋雨荆州
谢谢修改!这几天网坏了 没办法回改  ~晚上就去看你作文

坏绿的眼睛UID: 3138294

17. Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Most advertisements make

products seem much better then they really are. Use specific reasons and examples to

support your answer.


In the media proved society, hamburgers in TV advertisements are bigger, sceneries of travelling handbooks are better, ladies in these fashionable dresses on magazines layout are seemingly hotter and the list will never be end. If most advertisement made products perfect rather than what they really are? I do agree with the statements basing on the following reasons and I will present my explanation.

First of all, higher level of technologies made drawing of product more beautiful. Due to a investigation made by a team led by Professor King, the overwhelm 70 percent of people in worldwide judging good by its skins. And with improvement of technologies, businesses have more chance to perfect the picture of their goods. When someone who has talents on Photoshop or other familiar soft wares given a hand to business men with picture and make a common  apple own bigger shape and excellent color. I believe most customers would choose this kind of apple from different fruits because it looks more attractive for them.

Then, marketing strategies used in advertisement ensured products seem attractive for people. Nowadays, not only technologies could be used in advertisements, but also marketing strategies could be absorbed into the stories of advertisements. Take my experience for example, I saw a kind of ice cream was offering until the end of this month and this shop was crowd in its advertisements. That is, the advertisement tells me if I did not go to the ice cream restaurant, I could not test this yummy dessert any more. So, in the end, I tell myself I have to go to this place and taste it. That is, advertisement always motivates people to own one product as soon as possible.

Finally, modern advertisement always boarded with some lines and BGM, these details express that is own me as own this fine feeling. In other words, advertisements ensured us to believed owning a car which means own perfect life as the stories expressed in the video. Which means, advertisements used lines and BGM made a excellent feels for consumers in order to make them yearn for it.

In all, the aim of advertisement is making perfect, which means that these products appearing in the video and reports have to looks more attractive rather than they are really are. If anyone looking from outside deny this view, this essay is my answer.

idealibtUID: 2667256

TPO 17.doc (32.5 KB, 下载次数: 3)

2012-5-10 09:35:25 上传

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坏绿的眼睛UID: 3138294

16. Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The best way to travel is in a group led by a tour guide. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.


In my point of view, I prefer to choose have a travelling as a member of a group led by a tour guide, and I believe it is beneficial to ensured journey's convenient, safety. Even though, many would hold the contrary view towards this question, but I stick to putting these above keys on the first place. I will present my explanation.

First of all, the aim of travelling is relaxing, for anyone. That means, travelling with others and led by a tour guide who could arrange everything for you and introduce these strange sceneries could ensure your journey more comfortable. Take my experience for example, when I wanted to visit Shanghai EXPO, I choose travelling by myself, that is I have to check every tasks on my own, including booking tickets and finding suitable hotels. But it is difficult for me, because I was not good at using these online systems to booking something. At the end, I got done everything but forgot the right time to check in at airport, hence I missed the air. If I could choose having a tour guide, the journey seems more confortable.

Then, safety is even important for visitors. No one could deny the fact that many visitors got injured by criminals and the best way to avoid these cases is joining in a group. In this condition, the travelling company noticed all the local safety news and the guide protect from some danger or unsafely distinctions. It is necessary for making a perfect journey. I can give some dates, for instance, 40 of Japanese, 58.3 of Chinese and the overwhelm 80.8 of Koran hold the point that travelling within a group is more safety rather than going alone.

Final, it could save much money. Even though many believed these travelling company profits from visitors, so people should not attend any groups. But the administrator could get more sale on air and other tickets, it means this way saved more for us. Not to mention nowadays people facing too many styles of traveling groups, anyone could find pretty ideal groups to making his or her journey become confortable.

In all, travelling in group has so many advantages so that it is attractive for me. If anyone looking from outside argued my choice, this essay is my answer.

laotaitaiUID: 3143871

只有两个分论点，对分数是否有影响。字数能达到400字

idealibtUID: 2667256

TPO 16.doc (76 KB, 下载次数: 1)

2012-5-13 23:03:14 上传

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坏绿的眼睛UID: 3138294

TPO15

Nowadays, children always get too much pocket money in chrisms or others festivals and almost numerous of them did not know how to spend these cash. Due to this condition, the issue that if children should realize to arrange their own money at young age for becoming responsible adults become more and more hotter. In my opinion, learning some skills at this aspects has many advantages which including own good habit, benefits social economy and others. I will present my explanation below.

First, as everyone known, the best way to ensuring good habit for children is motivating them at young age. The same as to making youngers becoming responsible adults. There are so many knowledge waiting for them, not to mentions some manage skills just could be learned in real cases. That is, their teachers and parents have to motivate them from early years. Take my experience for example, when I was a little girl, I'd like strike my bowl making sounds like "ding" at the dinner table. My mother once tends to change the bad habit, because everyone realized it would be impolite on the table although there are family members at dinner table. But my old grandpa thought this actually is cute. Thus, my parents canceled do something for correcting my action. Hence, I cannot help to make chopsticks or other silverwares strike my bowl. That means, maybe this bad manner could not be corrected within my lifetime. So I do agree with the statement that let children learn how to spend their money at young age.

Then, it is beneficial for macroeconomic of a country. Some countries own numerous children and they could receive much pin money yearly. It is a valuable resource and chance for solving some terrible problems at macro economy, if parents and teachers could making every little citizen could be responsible children. It brings in so many advantages that including encourages them saved money when inflation appears, such as benefits national market and control prices. I believed that no one could deny the huge purchasing power from these little angles, if these children could be angles at manage their pin money.

Final, parents could have more communications with their children. Due to a report from The Mirror Newspapers, the overwhelm 73 of individuals from Chinese parents is lack of chance to share living experience and to communicate to their children. It could solve the problem if all the parents could realize that they have to spend time on motivating them at this issue. That is, they have to having shopping and others managing actions with their children. I believe it is beneficial for cutting the distance between parents and children.

Based on the discussion above, I believe that no one could doubt making child learn about this aspect is beneficial absolutely. If anyone argued my supports, this essay is my answer.

idealibtUID: 2667256

TPO 15.doc (35.5 KB, 下载次数: 4)

2012-5-14 10:38:24 上传

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坏绿的眼睛UID: 3138294

12. Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is better to have broad knowledge of many academic subjects than to specialize in one specific subject. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Nowadays, having a broad knowledge of many academic subjects than to specialize in one domain has many advantages; it is easier for hunting job and extending social net. That means, individuals know more academic subjects would have more chance to performance well in the future, no matter in college life or vocational life. So I do agree with the first point and I will present my explanation.

First of all, it is beneficial for hunting jobs. The fast-paced society and economic crisis push too much pressure on students. That is, only a few people could place the job which could engaged their major in university. Which means that, students do need having a broad knowledge of many majors means they have more choices. Take my older female cousin' experience for an example, she graduated from law school but she have second degree from business college. So when she fail in her first national examination on laws, she could choose to employed to marketing sections of a company first and using part time to prepared her second examination for becoming a lawyer and making her dream come true. I do agree with that having a broad knowledge of many domains have many advantages.

Then, known more about different academic subjects could beneficial extending social net for us. As everyone known, social net is very important for college life and working performance. Students need suitable lab partners and lawyers need more clients, social net to people as water to fish. Due to this condition, the more you known the more same topics you have with anyone. That means, a individuals who has a broad horizon could making friends with others easier, not to mention that the more chance to touch with more students could be offered by the longer studying time.

Final, fighting for having a broad horizon could make people clever. Learning about more academic subjects could not be easy and comfortable. Because different major need working out different problems and they all need pay energy and time. Due to a report from The Mirror Newspapers, the more realizing activities could excise our brain more. It is beneficial for becoming wise and brain health. So we have no excuse to reject becoming more
clever.

In all, I do agree with the statement that it is better to have broad knowledge of many academic subjects than to specialize in one specific subject. If anyone deny my point of view, this essay is my answer.

idealibtUID: 2667256

进步很大 加油.doc (39.5 KB, 下载次数: 2)

2012-5-17 00:42:00 上传

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idealibtUID: 2667256

不可否认进步很大，语法错误/拼写问题有所减少，段首的观点也很清晰明确

但，还是问题多多

1. 关于讲故事的时候时态用过去式的问题说过很多遍，还是出现了，希望下次不要看到这样的问题
2. and前后时态需要一致=》不再赘述 （注意：and后面如果省略主语的时候 省略的主语要和and前面句子的主语一致）
3. 替换能力要加强=》比如 题目的意思 换不同的表达方式
4. 连接词太少了 however / therefore / as a result / accordingly / although等
5. 注意副词的运用，会加分： considerably / largely / increasingly / greatly
6. 省略的时候注意 不能省的时候 不能嫌麻烦 需要把题目内容再写一遍的 比如第二段开头的it=》 下次不要出现啦


Nowadays, having a broad knowledge of many academic subjects than to specialize in one domain has many advantages; it is easier for hunting job and extending social net. That means, individuals know more academic subjects would have more chance to performance well in the future, no matter in college life or vocational life. So I do agree with the first point and I will present my explanation
开头OK的，如果挑毛病的话，第一句有点头重脚轻，主语太长，可以考虑there be句型
另外，more chance这样的错误建议避免=》more chances

0 W) M! z3 m* B9 ~% I; }
First of all, it is beneficial for hunting jobs(it指代不清出，建议用替换表达把it的内容说一遍). The fast-paced society and economic crisis push too much pressure on students（这个地方的student把题目范围缩小了，标题并没有写针对学生而言）. That is, only a few people could place the job which could engaged their major in university. Which means that, students do need having（need的用法不是加Ving哦） a broad knowledge of many majors means they have more choices. Take my older female cousin' experience for an(an去掉) example, she graduated from law school but she have（老毛病，讲故事的时候要记得用过去式，且and前后时态不一致） second degree from business college. So when she fail in her first national examination on laws, she could choose to employed to （这里有问题）marketing sections of a company first and using part time to prepared her second examination for becoming a lawyer and making her dream come（时态） true. I do agree with that having a broad knowledge of many domains have many advantages=》这个句子放在段落总结句有点大，根据这一段的论述得到这个结果不太合理，毕竟只陈述了一个advantage=>便于找工作，所以无法导出many advantages。建议总结句换为：总的来说，拥有跟多方面的知识将会帮助人们在就业过程中获得更多机会。.

Then, known more about different academic subjects could beneficial extending social net for us（这句没有谓语动词）. As everyone known, social net is very important for college life and working performance(这一段的观点没问题，但是这里摆出来social network给人一种一头雾水的感觉，这句话没提到更广知识面，给人一种偏题的误解，建议说： 更广的知识面将会让人们接触更多行业的人，社交面会因此增大，而社交圈广的好处是不言而喻/极其明显的。个人感觉这样的顺序逻辑性更强一点）. Students need suitable lab partners and lawyers need more clients, social net to people as water to fish. Due to this condition, the more you known the more same topics you have with anyone. That means, a individuals who has a broad horizon could making friends with others easier, not to mention that the more chance to touch with more students could be offered by the longer studying time.1 ~; D4 I8 K* D# |* r

Final, fighting for having a broad horizon could make people clever. Learning about more academic subjects could not be easy and comfortable. Because different major need working out different problems and they all need pay energy and time. Due to a report from The Mirror Newspapers, the more realizing activities could excise our brain more. It is beneficial for becoming wise and brain health. So we have no excuse to reject becoming more0 y$ F* a) c  d) W- u
clever.-》观点很好，进步很大！
1 K# G" t' ~; j9 R+ E
In all, I do agree with the statement that it is better to have broad knowledge of many academic subjects than to specialize in one specific subject. If anyone deny my point of view, this essay is my answer.==》文章末尾的总结句可以不要那么俗不，直接陈述原题，很没劲啊


need/nid/( needs, needing, needed )CET4
Need sometimes behaves like an ordinary verb, for example "She needs to know" and "She doesn't need to know" and sometimes like a modal, for example "No-one need know," "She needn't know," or, in more formal English, "She need not know."
•        1. V-TIf you need something, or need to do something, you cannot successfully achieve what you want or live properly without it. 需要 [no cont]
例：He desperately needed money.
他急需钱。
例：I need to make a phone call.
我需要打个电话。
例：I need you to do something for me.
我需要你为我做些事。
例：I need you here, Wally.
沃利，我这儿需要你。
N-COUNTNeed is also a noun. 需要
例：Charles has never felt the need to compete with anyone.
查尔斯从未感觉到与人竞争的需要。
例：...the child who never had his need for attention and importance satisfied.
…那个受关注和重视的需要从未得到过满足的孩子。
•        2. V-TIf an object or place needs something done to it, that action should be done to improve the object or place. If a task needs doing, it should be done to improve a particular situation. 需要 [no cont]
例：The building needs quite a few repairs.
这栋楼不少处需要修缮。
例：...a garden that needs tidying.
…一个需要整理的花园。