【Daily Writing作文特训小组】坏绿眼睛作业帖，求虐，求讽刺打击挖苦吐槽，唔

坏绿的眼睛UID: 3138294

从2012年1月30日开始使用

坏绿的眼睛UID: 3138294

1月30日 101031NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is often not a good thing for people to move to a new town or a new country because they will lose their friends.

第一次动手写，字数少了些。不怕血流成河，欢迎大家下手。

Personaly speaking, perhaps no issue in this world is as significance to people as friendship. So I do not agree with the statements because nobody can give us helping, suggestions, or sharing joy and sadness in a new town or a new country as a close friend .

Firstly, there is no reason to deny the fact that it is more difficult when solving problems in the a new town or a new country because we have no friends, for instance, competing for the natives in this town or country facing car's broken, we have no idea of the results absolutely because anybody who could give you a hand is too far away from you.

Secondly, although modern technology could equip us with easy contact to friends, but in fact losing such a friend who share happiness and sadness with ourselves would actually leave us discombobulated and do not make life more easier or enjoyable than before even if we have get a better job in this new town or new country.

In addition, some people hold the point that moving to a new town or a new country may bring in more material wealth. I believed that the core of controversy here is whether a new environment do deserve people to leave friends behind because people would easily become mental illness in the environment without friends. According to the report, as 21.4 percent of the Chinese, 20.8 percent of the Japanese, and an overwhelming 30.0 percent of the Thai expressed they long for friendship, toppling material wealth in the survey for immigrant.

It is the answer spoken by young and old, rich and poor, Democrat and Republican, black, white, Hispanic, Asian, Native American, gay, straight, disabled and not disabled, the people who sent a message to the questionnaire conducted by the survey team of University of Hong Kong
; all of these concluded the same result that people should not to move to a new town or a new country because we will lose friends.

坏绿的眼睛UID: 3138294

不好意思因为是新手分数不够传附件的、麻烦诸位了

towardsBTUID: 3236375

改好了~

坏绿的眼睛UID: 3138294

【Y or N】0131 College or University should offer students more preparation before they start working.


Before rendering my stand, I think it is essential to take a glance at the difficult position of job hunting. According to the report, 20.8 percent of the Japanese graduates, and an overwhelming 30.0 percent of the Thai graduates cannot find job in 2011.So I do agree with the statements because the more perparing will enhancing students performance in future career.

First and foremost, due to this difficult condition and the high rate of unemployment, there is no reason to deny the fact that it is indispensable duty to offering more professional training and job training for students to responsible school authority. In some extent, nowadays, perhaps no issue in this world is as significant to students as vocational training. Further evidence of significance as vocational training comes from the experience of Russie , the students of vocational school is more popular than graduates from College or University , because they are lacking of perparing and knowledge for working.

Also, the step in this material is beneficial for school authority, too. Actually, in general, a realistic and rational criterion to value Colleges or University' work should be their students' career development. My point of view, not only students and their parents but also College and University should have a clearly defined position of the influence that students' career development for schools' running, then, they will decide to take this step in a thunderbolt.

Yet my agreement does not suggest that the education in academic should be abandoned but rather included along with more important and indispensable factors in cultivating, since job hunting is still among most people top concerns and students have to use the vocational knowledge and skills as mirror, sword and shield when starting working.

I believe that everyone asked what College or University should do to cultivate their students, the response have a boilerplate answer as me: the more preparation before students start working.

第二次写，字数还是太少了。欲哭无泪，使劲白话都说不出神马。愁 = =

坏绿的眼睛UID: 3138294

谢谢你哦  修改的好用心 感动感动   我确实语法错误比较多  英语最好的那会也都是凭感觉来  从来不琢磨怎么遣词造句的 现在吃苦头了  一起加油吧~！！ 4# towardsBT

坏绿的眼睛UID: 3138294

2月1日独立 占座

鸟儿UID: 3238411

【Y or N】0131  修改
红色为添加，蓝色为疑惑，灰色为删除，粉色为精彩！

Before rendering my stand（不知道地道不？）, I think it is essential to take a glance at the difficult position （situation）of job hunting. According to the report, 20.8 percent of the Japanese graduates, and an overwhelming 30.0 percent of the Thai graduates cannot find job in 2011.（30 可以算是overwhelming么？）So I do agree with the statements（which？添加that...） because the more perparing（preparation） will enhancing (enhance) students’ performance in future career.

First and foremost, due to this difficult condition and the high rate of unemployment, there is no reason to deny the fact that it is indispensable duty to offering more professional training and job training for(to) students to(for) responsible school authority (施事者可以放在duty后面，减少ambiguity). In（TO） some extent, nowadays, perhaps no issue in this world is as significant to students as vocational training（这个，有点言重了吧）. Further evidence of significance as（in） vocational training comes from the experience of Russie , the students of vocational school （who）is more popular than graduates from College or University , because they are lacking of perparing and knowledge for working. (建议把Russie的优势展开说一下，增强说服力。另外段末最好简单总结。)

Also, the step in this material （？）is beneficial for school authority, too. Actually, in general, (one of the )a realistic and rational criterions to value Colleges or University' work should be(is 这里是在客观事实说理，尽量少用主观性的should吧) their students' career development. My point of view, (goes to that  缺少了动词) not only students and their parents but also College and University should have a clearly defined position of the influence that students' career development for schools' running（有点不理解）, then, they will decide to take this step in a thunderbolt. （我看的逻辑上有点混乱了。你的意思是意识到重要性就会立即采取措施么？可以把this 这类的指代展开说，可以增加字数也更易理解哈哈~）

Yet my agreement does not suggest that the education in academic should be abandoned but rather included along with more important and indispensable factors in cultivating (competitive talents), since job hunting is still among most people‘s top concerns and students have to use the vocational knowledge and skills as mirror, sword and shield when starting working. (让步很好，但是要再强调你的立场噢，不然就成了观点不明了。)

(From what has been discussed above, ) I believe that everyone asked what College or University should do to cultivate their students, the(everyone will) response have a boilerplate（similar, 查字典说boilerplate是“陈词，样板文件”，例句很多都贬义） answer as me: the more preparation before students start working (不是句子哦~ 借机重申观点，尽情码字吧).


总结： 结构挺清晰的，引用和举例很好。建议每一段结尾都总结一句，加强观点。句子再表达完整一点，特别注意动词。多看看范文的句型哈~或者看把蜗牛同学的好句子抱走。。哈哈哈

坏绿的眼睛UID: 3138294

谢谢这么用心的修改！
我确实在思路上和语法 句型上面都太生疏了
而且刚开始练习 写得很是艰难 300+都要一个多小时  
谢谢 共同进步吧！！
8# 鸟儿

坏绿的眼睛UID: 3138294

2月1日 100213NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People who cannot accept criticism will not succeed in a team.

Nobody can deny the fact that the key issue in a team is sense of community team spirit. My point of view, someone who always cannot accept criticism have a lot negative impact for cooperation of a team, the mates and their project so that the one will be not succeed in a team. Due to the position, I tend to agree with the statement. The elaborate explanation will be presented bellow.

First and foremost, people who reject comments again and again will disrupt sense of community team spirit which included pardon, common progress and trust, because selfish departmentalism is caused, stand high above the masses, do not wish thorough a team. According to report 20.8 percent of the Japanese employees, 17.0 percent of the American employees, and 30.0 percent of the Thai employees hold this point that a die-hard guy is not beneficial absolutely for group spirit because he/she never acquire criticism or suggestion from others.

Also, other mates of a team hate a person who is so stubborn that cannot accept criticism. Take my experience as an example, one years ago, I had recruited a die-hard guy who has talents in jurisprudence into my team for major project of Marine protection law. Then, he always against criticism and suggestion from others, and lay the blame upon members. Thus, I have to kick out him since everyone deemed working in this team which including him is restless.

Finally, the terrible character of a member will make negative influence for the whole project of a team. In this day and age, facing mistakes and disadvantages, the most imminent response is recharge yourself. A team whose member can tolerating criticism, and advice each other is able to effectively handle the responsibilities of the position.

From what has been discussed above, because people who cannot accept criticism has so much disadvantages, so I do agree with the statement that they will not successed in a team.

Sudden2012UID: 2856328

2月1日独立，改好了，加油！

坏绿的眼睛UID: 3138294

2月2日 110304NA
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The most important problems affecting our society today could be solved within our lifetime.

In this day and age, there is no reason can deny the fact that perhaps no issue affecting our society is as significance to people as peace, hunger, pollution and so on. The material raises the view that these problems could be solved within our lifetime. However, in my point of view, it is way to early for a conclusion. The elaborate explanation will be presented below.

First and foremost, many problems is be caused by human beings' selfish departmentalism as war. Some people stand high above the masses, do not wish thorough the whole body of mankind. Coincidently, a general investigation conducted by a recent research team led by Professor King of Social Department of Hong Kong, discovers that 44.8 percent of the Chinese, 32.0 percent of the Thai, and an overwhelming 61.7 percent of the Japanese hold this point that the most important problems influencing our society today could not be cleared within our lifetime, because the bad quality of human cannot be cleared for a long time. So I tend to disagree with the statement.

Then, everyone knows the debate comes down to differing views about the power of science to restrain it. Certainly, along with the bad quality of human, there are many other factors affecting whether these issue can be solved or not within our lifetime, just like science and technology. But, more important, the development of science and technology cannot deal with the booming risk of pollution and other annoyings. For example, acrounding to the report, air and marine pollution making development of fast completely exceed the development of common management technology in recent years.

Admittedly, to some extent, it's true that some troubles can be solved, in several decades, because these factors caused them can be canceled easily. But this view is not apply to these problems affecting us mostly, as war and pollution, unless every person is angel.


From what has been discussed above, I do disagree with the statement that the most important issue effecting our society today could be solved within our lifetime. If there is anyone out there who still doubts if bad quality of human can be cleared, who still wonders if other factors can restrain these problems, this essay is my answer.

sodapengUID: 3242849

In this day and age, there is no reason can deny the fact that perhaps no issue affecting our society is as significance to people as peace, hunger, pollution and so on. The material raises the view that these problems could be solved within our lifetime. However, in my point of view, it is way to early for a conclusion.(不太懂这句话的意思。。) The elaborate explanation will be presented below.+ b; M  @& s; r6 V6 ]7 Z( u

First and foremost, many problems is be caused (problems are caused) by human beings' selfish departmentalism as war. Some people stand high above the masses, do not wish thorough the whole body of mankind.(为什么这句我还是不懂，求解释) Coincidently,(furthermore) a general investigation conducted by a recent research team led by Professor King of Social Department of Hong Kong, discovers that 44.8 percent of the Chinese, 32.0 percent of the Thai, and an overwhelming 61.7 percent of the Japanese hold this point that the most important problems influencing our society today could not be cleared within our lifetime, because the bad quality(qualities) of human cannot be cleared for a long time(cleared overnight 或者 in a short time ). So I tend to disagree with the statement.5 d  S2 ?) k' }

Then, everyone knows (that)the debate comes down to (学到了个短语)differing views about the power of science to restrain(要是表达缓解意 建议用assuage，要表达解决，建议handle, resolve 等) it. Certainly, along with the bad quality (qualities) of human, there are many other factors affecting whether these issue can be solved or not within our lifetime, just like science and technology. But, more important, the development of science and technology cannot deal with the booming risk of pollution and other annoyings (annoying things). For example, acrounding (according) to the report, air and marine pollution making (have made) development of fast completely exceed the development of common management technology in recent years.
4 p- C2 T8 i' c% J* ~% l
Admittedly, to some extent, it's true that some troubles can be solved, in several decades, because these factors caused them can be canceled easily.(这个地方these them有些指代不清) But this view is not apply to these problems affecting us mostly, as war and pollution, unless every person is (an) angel. (感觉这段不是论述不是很清晰)
第一次改作文~~楼主有些句子表达不是很清楚，不过列举数字、具体例子要向楼主学习！

坏绿的眼睛UID: 3138294

In this day and age, there is no reason can deny the fact that perhaps no issue affecting our society is as significance to people as peace, hunger, pollution and so on. The material raises the view t ...
sodapeng 发表于 2012-2-3 21:04

it is way to early for a conclusion.(不太懂这句话的意思。。) 额 其实就是 这就太早下结论了  这个意思

First and foremost, many problems is be caused (problems are caused) by human beings' selfish departmentalism as war. Some people stand high above the masses, do not wish thorough the whole body of mankind.(为什么这句我还是不懂，求解释)   就是呼应前面说的自私主义 利己主义  说 有些人总是高高站在人民之上，从来不会真正地站在全人类的立场上。  我也是套用的谷歌学术里面的句子。


谢谢你的修改~~~受益啦   一起加油 ——坏绿

sodapengUID: 3242849

太早下结论 这样说会不会比较好 。。it is too early to dram a conlusion。。