TOEFL 4—6月Dark_Tournament写作小组 holding 第9次作业

holdingUID: 2285054

Agree or disagree, technology cause children show less creative than they were in past.

As the development of applied science, more and more technology used in our daily life help us to lead a comfort life. There is a confusing debate that whether technology cause children show less creative than they were in past. Someone asserts that development of technology, especially high technology, will block children creative. However, in my perspective, I think whatever technology develops; it can not reach the level that could hold back children to show their creative.

To begin with, every technology is the result of people's creative, including that come from children. Based on less background of knowledge, children always have the largest passion of imagine, which could lead to creation. Lacking of knowledge sometimes is just the reason they have the most creative idea, and this will lead them to devote themselves to science detection. High technology often happens in the field which causes high knowledge foundation. Therefore, the development of technology has no influence of children's creative because they do not have the knowledge to understand the new development of technology.

What is more, although technology is on a higher level than ever before, there are many undeveloped field for children to create new ideas. No matter what level technology develops, there is always something we do not understand. Existent technology could be useful tool for children to develop new creative. Take the more popular tool, computer, as an example. Thousands of software is used in different areas everyday, but many of them have their shortage and disadvantage. So as a youth, someone who interested in computer science could spend much time to research bug in the process and then create a new one to replace it. In this case, present technology becomes a assistant of children's creative.

Last but not least, technology which helps to make our life easier benefits children to develop their creative by offering their better living level. On one hand, technology offers us a more convenient environment to live, which protects us from starvation and cold. So children can focus their mind on field worth to creative idea. On the other hand, technology is the most important way of bringing information to children, which is the significant to show creative. The popular use of computer which connected with Internet is the best improvement of this point.

To sum up, technology could not cause children show less creative, on the contrary, it could help them to express their ideas to a great extent.

lucifaUID: 2590585

题目是technology 不是the development of technology吧。
As the development of applied science, more and more technology used in our daily life help us to lead a comfort life. There is a confusing debate that whether technology cause children show less creative than they were in past. Someone asserts that development of technology, especially high technology, will block children creative. However, in my perspective, I think whatever technology develops; it can not reach the level that could hold back children to show their creative.
To begin with, every technology is the result of people's creative, including that come from children. Based on less background of knowledge, children always have the largest passion of imagine, which could lead to creation. Lacking of knowledge sometimes is just the reason they have the most creative idea, and this will lead them to devote themselves to science detection. High technology often happens in the field which causes high knowledge foundation. Therefore, the development of technology has no influence of children's creative because they do not have the knowledge to understand the new development of technology.
这段开头说技术来源于儿童然后结尾又说技术发展对儿童创造力不造成威胁，好像前后有点没关系。
What is more, although technology is on a higher level than ever before, there are many undeveloped field for children to create new ideas. No matter what level technology develops, there is always something we do not understand. Existent technology could be useful tool for children to develop new creative. Take the more popular tool, computer, as an example. Thousands of software is used in different areas everyday, but many of them have their shortage and disadvantage. So as a youth, someone who interested in computer science could spend much time to research bug in the process and then create a new one to replace it. In this case, present technology becomes a assistant of children's creative.
这段也是，前面说有很多儿童可以创造的领域，后面结尾总结却说的是现有技术变成了儿童的一个创造助理
Last but not least, technology which helps to make our life easier benefits children to develop their creative by offering their better living level. On one hand, technology offers us a more convenient environment to live, which protects us from starvation and cold. So children can focus their mind on field worth to creative idea. On the other hand, technology is the most important way of bringing information to children, which is the significant to show creative. The popular use of computer which connected with Internet is the best improvement of this point.
To sum up, technology could not cause children show less creative, on the contrary, it could help them to express their ideas to a great extent.
结尾好像太简单了点。。。
还有510个字牛。你是在1个小时里做完的么。。

tanyangbjUID: 2601443

不说结构和扣题的话，文章不错。语法错误和拼写错误少。挺好

rainbowstarwqcUID: 2597917

感觉有点跑题，整体的表达比较流畅，但感觉有点chinlish， 建议多去读读新概念之类的文章