jjooyy的作文贴

jjooyyUID：2704028

Do you think success is important, or it is more important to remain happy and optimistic when you fail?

Although finishing one's job successfully might seem vital either in one's career or life, mostly, it is optimism that keeps one moving ahead to achieve the final goal, because one cannot always succeed, and being optimistic can help one figure out how to solve different problems in various situations and to retain victory. Therefore, success is not as important as being happy and hopeful.

To begin with, success is one result of what will happen, while optimism is one of the critical states one could be during the process. One might not win all the time, whereas one that remains cheerful would more or less be more possible to defeat others who do not. For example, it could be said that becoming a celebrity would be one success in one's life, but if one cannot maintain a good mood during failure, he or she might finally turn out be to a loser in his or her life. Because if one cannot handle the pressure and the depression in troubles, one might have little chance to cheer up and back to be successful.

Additionally, optimism aids to success coming later, while success could lead to pride and therefore failure in the end. It is being cheerful and happy pushes us towards success, without giving up when stuck into troubles. Also, it is the faith we have that encourages us to be modest when we have been success. On the other hand, success might only be several points in a long journey. Without reaching to the final line, the success one achieves is only indefinite moments. Perhaps, he or she might be too pride to finish or win the later wars because if the early success.

Finally, the spirits one has, especially when facing troubles, is more crucial to the success itself, because the process matters much more than the outcomes. Is it true that one who proceeds with terrible performance but surprisingly wins is happier than one who performs and enjoys the process and unfortunately fails? For most people, the answer is no. The process is long enough for us to taste, and the result is short enough to us to evaluate and to move on.

Therefore, from my perspective, being happy and hopeful values more than success, because success is one possible result, and mood might be a crucial element to later process, because optimism helps to succeed while success might lead to failure, and because the process we have might be of greater importance than the results.

我还真的没从GRE作文走出来的样子 几个月后的第一篇 请猛拍。。。

jjooyyUID：2704028

我选错题了 请拍的同学 照着这个主题拍吧 谢～～

peggy890UID：2812709

Do you think success is important, or it is more important to remain happy and optimistic when you fail?

Although finishing one's job successfully might seem vital either in one's career or life, mostly, it is optimism that keeps one moving ahead to achieve the final goal, because one cannot always succeed, and being optimistic can help one figure out how to solve different problems in various situations and to retain（obtain?） victory. Therefore, success is not as important as being happy and hopeful.（这个结论感觉有点突兀。。。）
To begin with, success is one result of what will happen, while optimism is one of the critical states one could be during the process. One might not win all the time, whereas one that remains cheerful would more or less be more possible to defeat others who do not. For example, it could be said that becoming a celebrity would be one（应该是a吧） success in one's life, but if one cannot maintain a good mood during failure, he or she might finally turn out be to a loser in his or her life. Because if one cannot handle the pressure and the depression in troubles, one might have little chance to cheer up and back to be successful.
Additionally, optimism aids to success coming later, while success could lead to pride and therefore failure in the end. It is being cheerful and happy pushes us towards success, without giving up when stuck into troubles. Also, it is the faith we have that encourages us to be modest when we have been success. On the other hand, success might only be several points in a long journey. Without reaching to the final line, the success one achieves is only indefinite moments. Perhaps, he or she might be too pride (proud 吧) to finish or win the later wars because if the early success.
Finally, the spirits one has, especially when facing troubles, is more crucial to the success itself, because the process matters much more than the outcomes. Is it true that one who proceeds with terrible performance but surprisingly wins is happier than one who performs and enjoys the process and unfortunately fails? For most people, the answer is no. The process is long enough for us to taste, and the result is short enough to us to evaluate and to move on.
Therefore, from my perspective, being happy and hopeful values more than success, because success is one possible result, and mood might be a crucial element to later process, because optimism helps to succeed while success might lead to failure, and because the process we have might be of greater importance than the results.
结构很清晰，论理也很准确，赞~~如果能够加入一些具体的例子更好哦

懒人一枚UID：2838780

囧……我以为我找错人了。先占座再评，如果有word更好。
ps一句，7.8我没写，不用给我评了。
不好意思啊，我昨天对着电脑半天写不出来，所以就算了。
你的作文语言上没什么问题，逻辑性很强，典型G的感觉（不过我也没考过G就看过几篇北美范文），也没什么好评的。
ibt可能侧重点不太一样？感觉在逻辑上没有那么严谨，也没那么书面的感觉。不过T我也没考过，就是看大家的作文如此。

jjooyyUID：2704028

了解 昨天一直在=你的呢。。。

jjooyyUID：2704028

It’s better to watch serious movies that help people think than to watch movies that could amuse and entertain people

While serious movies force viewers to consider social problems seriously, the comic tend to offer laughter as well as thoughts behind humorous atmosphere. Also, funny movies can make us believe in the beauty side of society. Therefore, it is better to be amused and entertained by movies, rather than watching movies seriously.

To begin with, comics do serve as a means to reveal the reality and to enlighten spectators, as serious movies do their jobs. People can burst into laughter during the movies for various reasons, and one of which can be that the movie reflects the cruelty of life in a humorous way. For example, I always keep smiling, or even laughing at the movie Crazy Stone, a Chinese movie which displays how helpless thefts and the police are. Not only because the plot is humorous and actors' lines are interesting, but also because the helplessness of the characters are so closed and familiar to me that I can also find myself facing similar situations. And that is how life usually goes on as we expect.

In addition, interesting movies are useful tools for one to remove the pressure and depression from daily life. When we smile, we forget what bothers us all day long; when we laugh out, we get over of troubles and conflicts that we have been through. How dramatic the story is could remind us of how easy our real life could be. If movies end well, which funny movies always do, we may feel the happiness like the heroes do, or get to hope that we might be that lucky.


Last but not the least, comic movies lead us to have faith in life. Since comics frequently shows that bullies being punished and heroes getting what they deserve, we would believe the beauty, the fairness of the world and the kind-heartedness o people. In the movie A World Without Thieves, for illustration, ironically, two heroes who are thieve try their best to keep a teenager a pure heart and let him believe there exists no theft. In great efforts, do they accomplish the goal. Watching this film really cheer me up when I find the darkness of society.

In a word, not only because comics reflect the reality as well as bring about laughter to audience, but also because comic films encourage us to believe the brightness of the world, it is better to watch funny movies than serious ones.

cocojamesUID：2797094

While serious movies force viewers to consider social problems seriously, the comic tend to offer laughter as well as thoughts behind humorous atmosphere. Also, funny movies can make us believe in the beauty side of society. Therefore, it is better to be amused and entertained by movies, rather than watching movies seriously.( ?+ @1 [# q+ d9 G( M" e! @% {; @/ V
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To begin with, comics do serve as a means to reveal the reality and to enlighten spectators, as serious movies do their jobs. People can burst into laughter during the movies for various reasons, and one of which can be that the movie reflects the cruelty of life in a humorous way. For example, I always keep smiling, or even laughing at the movie Crazy Stone, a Chinese movie which displays how helpless thefts and the police are. Not only because the plot is humorous and actors' lines are interesting, but also because the helplessness of the characters are so closed and familiar to me that I can also find myself facing similar situations. And that is how life usually goes on as we expect.   Y' l: ]5 J- c9 Z7 ?
' e$ _, Z' H* t) Q' }
In addition, interesting movies are useful tools for one to remove the pressure and depression from daily life. When we smile, we forget what bothers us all day long; when we laugh out, we get over of troubles and conflicts that we have been through. How dramatic the story is could remind us of how easy our real life could be. If movies end well, which funny movies always do, we may feel the happiness like the heroes do, or get to hope that we might be that lucky.
l* s) t
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Last but not the least, comic movies lead us to have faith in life. Since comics frequently shows that bullies being punished and heroes getting what they deserve, we would believe the beauty, the fairness of the world and the kind-heartedness of people. In the movie A World Without Thieves, for illustration, ironically, two heroes who are thieve try their best to keep a teenager with a pure heart and let him believe there exists no theft. In great efforts, do they accomplish the goal. Watching this film really cheer me up when I find the darkness of society.
D# A; C4 D$ F3 j- o2 M& m! B, Y8 j
In a word, not only because comics reflect the reality as well as bring about laughter to audience, but also because comic films encourage us to believe the brightness of the world, it is better to watch funny movies than serious ones.8 T" i! [0 `& C+ K6 h0 `/ M
看得出你运用语言的功底很好，所以基本上你的作文我都没怎么改动。
不过，我觉得你的第一点理由和第三点理由好像有些重复了。

langtianrinuanUID：2810236

It’ better to watch serious movies that help people think than to watch movies that could amuse and entertain people

While serious movies force viewers to consider social problems seriously, the comic tend to offer laughter as well as thoughts behind humorous atmosphere. Also, funny movies can make us believe in the beauty side of society. Therefore, it is better (easier) to be amused and entertained by (funny) movies, rather than watching movies seriously.

To begin with, comics (comedies) can also do(建议删除) serve as a means to reveal the reality and to enlighten spectators,
just as serious movies do their jobs. People can(建议删除) burst into laughter during the（watching） movies for various reasons, and one of which（如果用and即是并列句，改为them） can be that the movie reflects the cruelty of life in a humorous way. For example, I always keep smiling, or even laughing at（这个介词好像不是很合适）
the movie Crazy Stone, a Chinese movie which displays how helpless thefts and the police are. Not only because the plot is humorous and actors' lines are interesting, but also because the helplessness of the characters are so closed and familiar to me that I can also（建议删除） find myself facing the similar situations. And that is how life usually goes on as we expect. （这句话放在这里的用意是？）

In addition, interesting movies are useful tools for one to remove（unleash） the pressure and depression from daily life. When we smile, we forget what has bothered us all day long; when we laugh out, we get over of（get rid of） troubles and conflicts that we have been through. How dramatic the story is that could remind us of how easy our real life could be. (这个句子觉得有点拗口)If movies end well, which funny movies always do, we may feel the happiness（happy） like（as） the heroes do, or get to hope（hoping） that we might be that lucky.


Last but not the least, comic movies lead us to have faith in our life. Since comics (comedies) frequently shows (show) that the bullies being punished and the heroes getting what they deserve, we would believe the beauty, the fairness of the world and the kind-heartedness of people. In the movie A World Without Thieves, for illustration, ironically, two heroes who are genuine thieves try their best to keep a teenager who is with a pure heart and let him believe that there exists no theft. In great efforts, do they (they do) accomplish the goal. Watching this film really cheered me up (even) when I find (found) the darkness of society.(叙述这个例子是不是整个都用过去时比较好？)

In a word, not only because comics (comedies) reflect the reality as well as bring about laughter to audience, but also because comic films encourage us to believe the brightness of the world,（that） it is better to watch funny movies than serious ones.


恩，总体还是挺好的。就是觉得个别句型好像在反复用，比如not only because… and… but also because…观点好像也有点重复的感觉，论证可以更展开、更充分一点更好，好像我也是这个问题

jjooyyUID：2704028

Businessmen are only motivated by money.

Although profits appear to be the only goal companies pursue, there are actually more targets for businessmen, such as reputation of corporations, social responsibility and so forth.

Since the reputation of companies and products sometimes determines how much businessmen could benefit from and how further their business could develop in the future, businessmen do care about the fame. For instance, in China, some businessmen anticipate some charity activities only in order to set kind-hearted images to public. They donate large amount of money to people who need, offer necessities to refugees, and even supply great job opportunities to the disabled. What they do is obviously not to gain money. Instead, they choose to give others to represent positive images for their corporations and factories. In that way, business could obtain more space to develop by being nice to potential customers.

Except for fame, social responsibility is also one of the primary motivation of CEOs. As a citizen, how much responsibility one owns depends mostly on how much power one obtains. For businessmen, who acquire wealth and decide the direction the company to go forward, considering the development of countries and the advent of new policies and providing what the majority of people want or need is inevitably their obligation. Only by fulfilling these tasks could businessmen be qualified citizens. Otherwise, they would at least earn money with guity.

Admittedly, money is certainly of vital significance in the running of business. No company manages to survive without enough money to support it. Employees need salaries and bonuses to work motivatedly; advertising requires fees to promote products in wide areas. It is also necessary to purchase raw materials to produce wonderful products, in which enormous money is required. It could be said that a corporation would only develop under the condition of sufficient money.

To summary, while money is one of the major concerns of bussinessmen, they also consider the fame of companies and themselves and social responsibility as crucial elements for the management of corporations and factories.

举不出例子来，所以倒数第23段太短了
第2段写的很有感觉，啊哈～
放在WORD里发现没有拼写错误，也没有语法错误，啊哈～

liuxiaoyinUID：2631993

[Businessmen are only motivated by money.

Although profits appear to be the only goal (加上what or which)
companies pursue, there are actually more targets for businessmen, such as reputation of corporations, social responsibility and so forth.
不错。观点明确~~


Since the reputation of companies and products sometimes determines how much businessmen could benefit from and how further their business could develop in the future, businessmen do care about the fame.（这句写得不错，挺流畅~） For instance, in China, some businessmen anticipate some charity activities only in order to set kind-hearted images to public. They donate large amount of money to people who need, offer necessities to refugees, and even supply great job opportunities to the disabled. What they do is obviously not to gain money. Instead, they choose to give others to represent positive images for their corporations and factories（感觉有点别扭,建议改成they help and make donations...so as to represent positive images of their corporations and factories to public）. In that（改成this,this指上，that指下面的。不过好像无所谓了） way, business could obtain more space to develop by being nice to potential customers.
理由不错~~~

Except for fame, social responsibility is also one of the primary motivation of CEOs. As a citizen, how much（many） responsibility(用复数) one owns depends mostly on how much power one obtains. For businessmen, who acquire wealth and decide the direction the company to go forward, considering the development of countries and the advent of new policies and providing what the majority of people want or need is inevitably their obligation. Only by fulfilling these tasks could businessmen be qualified citizens. Otherwise, they would at least earn money with guity.
有点短，建议举个例子什么的，也可以引用一些调查结果（可以自己编~~~~）

Admittedly, money is certainly of vital significance in the running of business. No company manages to(can,be able to) survive without enough money to support it. Employees need salaries and bonuses to work motivatedly; advertising requires fees to promote products in wide areas. It is also necessary to purchase raw materials to produce wonderful products, in which enormous money is required. It could be said that a corporation would only develop under the condition of sufficient money.
感觉你的让步段跟上一段差不多长短~~~

To summary, while money is one of the major concerns of bussinessmen, they also consider the fame of companies and （去掉and,加“,”）themselves and social responsibility as crucial elements for the management of corporations and factories.

b] 9# jjooyy

liuxiaoyinUID：2631993

行文流畅，思路清晰（比我清晰好多），有个别小错误，第2段内容有点少~~~加油

liuxiaoyinUID：2631993

P.s. 我也觉得自己写得有点乱~~~再改改，谢谢你哈~~~

kingguohaoUID：2752336

7.20

jjooyyUID：2704028

Although many of those who tend to keep their rooms tidy would succeed in their lives, it also happens to those students who do not like their room clean and organized. From my perspective, there are acrually little connectiong between being clean and being successful.

As a matter of fact, people who are inclined to keep their staff organized might success, due to their good habits. Classifying things and putting them to places where they ought to be could improve the efficiency of finding documents, clothes and so forth. If one has a job as an accountant, a secretary or a librarian, which requires a huge amount of time organizing, classifying and searching for data, documents and books, he who tends to keep their personal staff in order is more likely to success, because he is born to be organized.

However, the quality of keep rooms clean and tidy could not be helpful to people who do not need to be organized to success. For instance, as a football player, what one need is just keep strong and skillful. And for him, the habit of making rooms untidy do nothing with his victory and defeat. It is just his hygene habit, which is little part of his personal life.

In addition, those who accomplish their goals and also have organized rooms might succeed mainly from their other important qualities. What decides one to win or lose is the qualities that are really vital. A successful manager would be a wonderful illustration. He sees the big picture, inspires employees, and makes up mistakes he made immediately in order to win profits. At last, he achieves the goal. Then, how could his accomplishment be attributed to his habit of being clean and organized in his personal life? Obviously, it is his quality of being an excellent leader that matters.

In sum, some people could success in special jobs because of their habit of keeping their rooms organized and tidy, while others do not need it to seccess. On the other hand, the reason that many success with rooms frequently clean could be their other qualities that are crucial to their career.

其实抓紧点，30分钟我也是写得完的。。这篇还差3分钟左右
第二段又短了，这回只会讲例子，不会讲道理了。。

chenrubingUID：2856741

同学不好意思啊  有一些乱码黏贴上来  我也不是道怎么回事。
我是刚刚才开始看托福作文的。。我数了一下你这篇作文有将近400字。可是不是300-350是有效字数吗？你会不会来不及呢？（其实我自己也想知道这个问题。。求解答）
还有就是我觉得你的文章写得还不错。可是明显前面的语句要比后面通顺而且达意。
我最后几句话按照自己的思路修改了一下。。也不知道修改的怎么样。希望和你多交流。。哈哈
我都用黄色标记出来了，可是好像没有显示？能不能告诉我怎么贴上来呢？


Although many of those who tend to keep their rooms tidy would succeed in their lives, it also happens to those students who do not like their room clean and organized. From my perspective, there are actually little connection between being clean and being successful.  L8 B* E8 I: X/

9 \9 m. B4 X9 r9 w. T8 aAs a matter of fact, people who are inclined to keep their staff organized might success, due to their good habits. Classifying things and putting them to places where they ought to be could improve the efficiency of finding documents, clothes and so forth. If one works as an accountant, a secretary or a librarian, which requires a huge amount of time to organizing, classifying and searching for data, documents and books, he who tends to keep their personal staff in order is more likely to success, since he is born to be organized.
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\


3 H; {% O, B; E$ ~; O0 @' QHowever, the quality of keeping rooms clean and tidy could not be helpful to people who do not need to be well-organized to success. For instance, as a football player, what one need is just to keep strong and skillful. And for him, the role as a owner of a untidy house has nothing to
do with his victory or defeat. It is just his hygene habit, which is simply a tiny part of his personal life.: Y, W  z: ~1 d' A+ C+ b  v7

In addition, those who accomplish their goals and happen to have organized rooms might succeed mainly from their other important qualities. What decides one to win or lose is the qualities that are really vital. A successful manager would be a wonderful illustration. He sees the big picture, inspires employees, and makes up mistakes immediately in order to win profits. At last, he achieves the goal. so, how could his accomplishment be attributed to his habit of being clean and organized in his personal life? Obviously, it is his quality of being an excellent leader that matters.

# C+ `$ n. o3 |  ! r! z; E! r, l6 F6 D; V0 b/ hIn sum, some people could success in special jobs because of their habit of keeping their rooms organized and tidy, while others do not need it to succeed. On the other hand, except from one’s ability to keep his/her room clean , other qualities like leadership and confidence are more crucial for success.