12# longxue26
7.17 All students should be required to take basic scienceclasses even if they are not this major. Nowadays, it's undoubted that no one can imaginehow the life would be without scientific knowledge; however, people are proneto pay most attention to the convenient products that science makes for us, yetto ignore the importance of actively learning the basic science. Similarly,some people argue that students shouldn’t be required to take basic scienceclasses just because they are the different major. But I insist learning basic scienceis so necessary that all students should attend it. Science exists in our daily life no matter whatwe are doing, and knowing basic science helps us to a great extent both in ourliving and in the studying. Whatever field one wants tomajor in, I think there's no professor hoping to have a student who is awkwardeven unable to use a computer because the less efficient way he/she studies apparentlywastes lots of time of the student himself/herself, which of course will doharm to the learning effect of the major.(这一句话太长了吧…我记得每句话最好不要超过两个个从句…要不然读者读着就会吃力) So(删掉) in this case, taking basic science classesabout computer is not a forced requirement, but a really good and necessary wayfor students to obtain better study on their majors.(加上一句类似 “This phenomena can be seen everylively fields.”之类的句子可以把你的例子再延伸到主题上~这样会不会更好些…) In addition, there're subtle but attractiveconnections between different majors and sometimes, these connections need astudent of one major to know the basic knowledge of the other major. Forstudents who are researching in biology with focus on marine plankton, learningsome basic science about meteorology benefits s a lot since the weather changealways affects the ocean temperature - one of the living conditions forplankton. Especially and interestingly, in some cases a bit ofinterdisciplinary knowledge may inspire one with researching, even helps with solvingdifficult problems. As the wide spread of scientific knowledge, noone can assert that basic science is useless and needless for a certain major.During the process we use basic science to enlarge our knowledge ken andenhance the ability of studying, it'll be foundthat we get so familiar with it that we cannotbe apart from it(这三个it是一个意思吧…那后两个是不是可以省略了…如果前两个不是一个意思,一句话里面不可以出现两个不同的指代吧…最后一个it也肯定能省略.which we cannot be apart from…). Because sciencebenefits us in every aspect of our life and learning it is just like breathingfresh air, it does no harm but convenience and goodness.(because of science….,it does no and learning…这样比较好吧…) In sum, the earlier the students learn basicscience, the more efficient for them to live and study, the more the studentsknow about the basic science, the further for them to step forward on theirmajors. I couldn't support more that talking basic science classes should be requiredeven though they are not this major. 点评时间! 写的好长!这是我的第一感觉…. 结构不错,嘿嘿,除了后面有的句子不大通顺…不过这可能也是我自己的个人习惯问题… 你很擅长写长句子啊…. 我个人觉得长句子不错,不过用在开头和结尾比较好,要不然就是各段的总结句…在叙述论点讲述例子时还是尽量简单的写… 结尾感觉稍微有一点的赶了,是写的不耐烦了么?我觉得结尾应该再出彩些。 总的来说…写的相当好了… 加油哦~! |