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发表于 2009-10-31 00:14:03 |显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 如是_ivy 于 2009-10-31 00:17 编辑

10.29 Modern society has become more complex, so it is essential for the young people to have the ability to plan and organize.
/ U- ^6 H  m1 O$ C: O2 b
It is true that complicated procedure can reduce(decrease好点吧) effectiveness in humans’(这个human用的怪啊,就our还好些) studying and working. Especially life is very distinguished in modern society from it(what) was in the past(其实这个写复杂了,我倾向于直接写成from the past). People in modern time在自己感情上一直觉得in modern time放在句子中间很累赘,觉得要在中间做定语的话就直接today啊,简洁明了 have to confront pressure with the development of society, hence in order to enhance efficiency in studying and working, I believe that young generation should have capacities to plan and organize. And more details are as follow.

, U& T; t' j+ v" b) N3 ?: v
Good plan and organization could save people from a disorder situation. Generally humans will lost themselves when facing various matters, which need to deal with soon. Let’s take my experience as an example. Almost every the end of semester I am in the situation that could bring me into nuts学习了. It seems that I have numerous papers to fulfill and hundreds researches to complete.(看这句话的时候突发奇想,不知道可不可以写成Since numerous papers and hundreds researches are waiting for me,。。。后面接着再接下句.搞个简单的拟人。花姐你写的这个没有问题,只是觉得好冗长。) I always consider I should finish doing the other task while I was doing this one. It definitely put me in a disorder state without more detailed plan and schedule(这个有点累赘了。因为it显然指的是前面的做这件事的时候在想那件事,如果要表强调,建议拉到前面去。); because my mind always pushes me to the opposite way. Since(用个However, once好些) I make a studying plan and organization, it prevents me from being confused. I make a list that which program is the most significant and which one is the most complicated. My plan tells me that I need to complete difficult one first, as probably it will occupy most of my energy and my time. My situation shows that the ability of planning and organizing is essential for next generation to master.(例子的时态也要改下吧,是不是要过去时)

Lack of capacity to plan may cause position worse and bring dire consequence. Humans’ other ability also can be shown by his/her plans in daily life. And the leaders meanwhile would like to judge or promote employees by observing staff’s working plan like how they finish their work within limit time. (加个连词)That represents people’s ability to organize to keep everything clear. Young people will loss the chances to be promoted into higher position without such capacity in planning(建议拉到句首去);(个人倾向于加逻辑连接词而不是写分号。) they should learn how to make a plan and organize as it could assist them in their careers.这段的感觉是有例子有论证,没清晰论点。第一句那个实在不能算是后面在说的论点。

To conclude, with the evidence in above passages, young generation should obtain the ability to plan and organize because it will benefit in both studying and working.这个结尾写的太草率了,不知道是不是花姐时间不够了

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发表于 2009-10-31 14:52:37 |显示全部楼层
10.31 Some people believe that a college or university education should be available to all students. Others believe that higher education should be available only to good students.

Every one has right to receive higher education no matter they are good students or not. Young people should prepare for their future working by studying techniques and knowledge. University doubtlessly provides such a stage for them to pursue. Hence, it brings a hot debate that whether college education should be appropriate for good students only. I believe that it definitely will not work out to follow such principle because every one has right to study if they prefer.

It does not mean only good students can have or pursue bring future. The definition of good students could be explained that those who have good academic achievement; because it can assist them to improve their GPA. But for the rest who may not have better academic achievement should be still encouraged to study in college. Let’s take one of my friends as an example. He was not a good student based on traditional requirement as he just finished middle school studying without a pretty score, and then got a job as a blue collar. Later due to not high income from that working position, and also limitation to gain better work owning to lacking adequate academic learning, he made up his mind to return to be a student. At very beginning it was not easy for him to catch up due to poor academic foundation. However, he overcame it by his diligent and hard working in academic pursuing in Adult Higher Education College; and presently he is already admitted by a university as a graduate. His experience shows that people may change their ways to study or consider differently from before. So anyone should be given chances to study in college if they prefer; otherwise they will not achieve their dreams or carry out responsibility for society.

The policy could bring negative consequence that university education is only available for good students. If the things are like that, probably college students would have a feeling of superior; because only them have right to receive higher education. It can bring them an unhealthy mind. As soon as those students graduate, the working ranks and classes could make a boundary between those young people. Even if some may want to pursue more education as my friend did in the last passage, they can be frustrated according to principle that university education is only open to good students. Therefore the dire consequence is good students will gain of superior, and the rest feel unfair and being hurtful in this society.
To conclude, with the details from above, I do not support higher education is only for good students because it deprives the chances and right for others who have desire to pursue knowledge.

To conclude, with the details from above, I do not support higher education is only for good students because it deprives the chances and right for others who have desire to pursue knowledge.

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发表于 2009-10-31 20:12:07 |显示全部楼层
10.29 Modern society has become more complex, so it is essential for the young people to have the ability to plan and organize./ L H+ F3 N* B/ a : Q2 S+ K& O4 d# y It is true that complicated procedure can reduce effectiveness in humans’ studying and working. Especially life is very distinguished in modern society from it was in the past. People in modern time have to confront pressure with the development of society, hence in order to enhance efficiency in studying and working, I believe that young generation should have capacities to plan and organize. And more details are as follow. Good plan and organization could save people from a disorder situation. Generally humans(humans) will lost themselves when facing various matters, which need to deal with soon. Let’s take my experience as an example. Almost every the end of semester I am in the situation that could bring me into nuts. It seems that I have numerous papers to fulfill and hundreds researches to complete. I always consider I should finish doing the other task while I was doing this one. It definitely put me in a disorder state without more detailed plan and schedule; because my mind always pushes me to the opposite way(这个用分号不合适吧,而且和后一句怎么不太通了,是不是加个过渡?). Since I make a studying plan and organization, it prevents me from being confused. I make a list that which program is the most significant and which one is the most complicated. My plan tells me that I need to complete difficult one first, as probably it will occupy most of my energy and my time. My situation shows that the ability of planning and organizing is essential for next generation to master.$ X" C% T7 q' B$ m! J/ z. G. E 0 k) r4 E# L- _4 I& F Lack of capacity to plan may cause position worse and bring dire consequence. (这两个词组学习了)Humans’ other ability ?also can be shown by his/her plans in daily life. And the leaders meanwhile would like to judge or promote employees by observing staff’s working plan like how they finish their work within limit time. That represents people’s ability to organize to keep everything clear. Young people will loss(lose loss n. lose v) the chances to be promoted into higher position without such capacity in planning; they should learn how to make a plan and organize as it could assist them in their careers.+ T0 Y* M u5 A+ V/ z, @' _ To conclude, with the evidence in above passages, young generation should obtain the ability to plan and organize because it will benefit in both studying and working. 感觉翠花花同学对结构很在行,先立论,然后又对反面批驳了一下。 只是在详细论证的时候论证不太严密,尤其第三段似乎不是很严密。但总体还是很好的啊。

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发表于 2009-11-1 01:16:20 |显示全部楼层
Every one has right to receive higher education no matter they are good students or not. Young people should prepare for their future working by studying techniques and knowledge. University doubtlessly provides such a stage for them to pursue. Hence, it brings a hot debate that whether college education should be appropriate for good students only. I believe that it definitely will not work out to follow such principle because every one has right to study if they prefer.9 z&
开头好像不是很简洁呢
q# ^& X' o1 |+ G' L
It does not mean only good students can have or pursue bring future. The definition of good students could be explained that those who have good academic achievement这句话读得有些变扭; because it can assist them to improve their GPA. But for the rest who may not have better academic achievement should be still encouraged to study in college. Let’s take one of my friends as an example. He was not a good student based on traditional requirement as he just finished middle school studying without a pretty score, and then got a job as a blue collar. Later due to not high income from that working position, and also limitation to gain better work owning to lacking adequate academic learning, he made up his mind to return to be a student. 这个例子的语言组织需要再改一改吧。。。读着没什么毛病就是觉得有点不地道At very beginning it was not easy for him to catch up due to poor academic foundation. However, he overcame it by his diligent and hard working in academic pursuing in Adult Higher Education College; and presently he is already admitted by a university as a graduate. His experience shows that people may change their ways to study or consider differently from before. So anyone should be given chances to study in college if they prefer; otherwise they will not achieve their dreams or carry out responsibility for society.9 b: @5 o+ K$ Q9 l0 @/ W
. O4 `% u; c  S5 |0 H' y
The policy could bring negative consequence that university education is only available for good students这个重句不长还是放到前面好吧. If the things are like that, probably college students would have a feeling of superior; because only them have right to receive higher education. It can bring them an unhealthy mind. As soon as those students graduate, the working ranks and classes could make a boundary between those young people. Even if some may want to pursue more education as my friend did in the last passage, they can be frustrated according to principle that university education is only open to good students. Therefore the dire consequence is good students will gain of superior, and the rest feel unfair and being hurtful in this society.' v: H8 f8 E" G4 _7 l
To conclude, with the details from above, I do not support higher education is only for good students because it deprives the chances and right for是不是用of啊 deprive sb of something others who have desire to pursue knowledge." A# C9 u8 b8 w

8 ^; }2 Y7 T. e* d" _  Z/ t# ZTo conclude, with the details from above, I do not support higher education is only for good students because it deprives the chances and right for others who have desire to pursue knowledge。 觉得写得挺好的。。就是语言用法上不那么感觉地道话。。比我好啊。。加油

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发表于 2009-11-1 19:13:28 |显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 heqiang_1001 于 2009-11-1 20:00 编辑

Every one has right to receive(我想了好久拿什么替换accept) higher education no matter they are good students or not. Young people should prepare for their future working by studying techniques and knowledge. University doubtlessly provides such a stage for them to pursue. Hence, it brings a hot debate that whether college education should be appropriate for good students only. I believe that it definitely will not work out to follow such principle (这句话有点别扭)because every one has right to study if they prefer.

It does not mean only good students can have or pursue bring(bright?) future. The definition of good students could be explained that (to ?我不太确定,但要是that的话后面要加从句啊。感觉有点啰嗦这句)those who have good academic achievement; because it can assist them to improve their GPA. But for the rest who may not have better academic achievement should be still encouraged to study in college.(这个病句。如果是but,for the rest……,那后面should 应该还差一个主语的 ) Let’s take one of my friends as an example. He was not a good student based on traditional requirement as he just finished middle school studying without a pretty score, and then got a job as a blue collar. Later due to not high income from that working position, and also limitation to gain better work owning to lacking adequate academic learning(没太明白呃), he made up his mind to return to be a student. At very beginning it was not easy for him to catch up due to poor academic foundation. However, he overcame it by his diligent and hard working in academic pursuing in Adult Higher Education College; and presently he is already admitted by a university as a graduate. His experience shows that people may change their ways to study or consider differently from before. So anyone should be given chances to study in college if they prefer; otherwise they will not achieve their dreams or carry out responsibility for society.

The policy could bring a negative consequence that(if ?要不后面应该是结果恩) university education is only available for good students. If the things are like that, probably college students would have a feeling of superior; because only them have right to receive higher education. It can bring(lead them to) them an unhealthy mind. As soon as those students graduate, the working ranks and classes could make a boundary between those young people. Even if some may want to pursue more education as my friend did in the last passage, they can be frustrated according to principle that university education is only open to good students. Therefore the dire consequence is good students will gain of superior, and the rest feel unfair and being hurtful in this society.

To conclude, with the details from above, I do not support higher education is only for good students because it deprives the chances and right for others who have(可以去掉) desire to pursue knowledge.

第一次和翠花姐互评诶,激动……嘿嘿。
赞美的话就先不多说啦……光说我觉得一些小问题恩。
感觉句子都很长,有的读的有点费劲。而且很多动词为什么一定要变成名词来用呢。
结构没有问题。论点上,咱俩的观点正好相反。我总有想要反驳的冲动。第二个论点展开的不是很好,感觉并没有分析出这种后果究竟造成了怎样严重的后果。

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IBT Zeal Cancer巨蟹座

发表于 2009-11-2 21:25:08 |显示全部楼层
11.2 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents are the best teachers. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Like an old saying goes in my country: parents are the first teachers in one’s life. It is them who devote the whole life to educate and influence descendents in various ways. As we know, living environment plays major role in developing of children’s personalities and qualities. Hence, I believe that parents are the best teachers in human’s life. And more details are as follow.

Children learn facts to understand knowledge by mimicing from people around them. It is the way they try to know this world better, thus parents are obliged to present a good example. Let’s take my friend’s son as an example. Last Christmas we showed up in my friend’s party and his son, a six year old child impressed us a lot with his polite behaviors. Besides he played a piece of music on piano, which brought a fantastic atmosphere and made others unforgettable. My friend’s son also assisted her to serve tea and coffee and other deserts for guests. Honestly it was my first time to see a little kid having such good manners, but meanwhile we also know that his parents must devote efforts on educating him by their proper behaviors and morals. Children could not totally understand this world with limited capacity, need parents to guide them just like a small boat on the ocean, should be led by experienced captains to head for right direction.

Parents still provide appropriate solutions as guidance to descendant even if they grow up. When people just step into society in working position, they have to confront situation that how to deal with the interpersonal communication. Parents with more knowledge could show younger generation with their own experience, so young people can learn something more about this society and world. Parents are like old books helping youth to comprehend the morals and values of the whole world. Hence, no matter for which age group of people, parents have always been their best teachers to support them.

To conclude, parents care about their descendants and would like to influence them with active attitudes, because there is no one like parents devote their energy to educate their children. There is doubtlessly that parents are the best teachers in people’s life.

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发表于 2009-11-2 22:03:56 |显示全部楼层
之前我写过这个题目感觉从两面说比较好,父母最孩子很好,投入很多,优点。缺点是有时候太溺爱孩子,反而不好~~反例
千江有水千江月 万里无云万里天

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发表于 2009-11-3 19:57:13 |显示全部楼层
Like an old saying goes in my country: parents are the first teachers in one’s life. It is them who devote the whole life to educate and influence descendents in various ways. As we know, living environment plays major role in developing of children’s personalities and qualities. Hence, I believe that parents are the best teachers in human’s life. And more details are as follow.Children learn facts to understand knowledge(learn facts to understand knowledge感觉有点绕,有点重复) by mimicing from people around them. It is the way they try to know this world better, thus parents are obliged to present a good example. Let’s take my friend’s son as an example. Last Christmas we showed up in my friend’s party and his son(and 后面是不是应该有个动词,比如and see his little son there), a six year old child impressed us a lot with his polite behaviors. Besides he played a piece of music on piano, which brought a fantastic atmosphere and made others unforgettable. My friend’s son also assisted her to serve tea and coffee and other deserts(desserts) for guests. Honestly it was my first time to see a little kid having such good manners, but meanwhile we also know that his parents must devote efforts on educating him by their proper behaviors and morals. Children could not totally understand this world with limited capacity, need parents to guide them just like a small boat on the ocean, should be led by experienced captains to head for right direction.) V9 {$ ]- h  w" B( Y1 H: P5 FParents still provide appropriate solutions as guidance to descendant even if they grow up(even if they have grown up). When people just step into society in working position(这个有点不通顺,貌似宾语重复,into society and fit in working position), they have to confront situation(situations) that how to deal with the interpersonal communication(relationship). Parents with more knowledge could show younger generation with their own experience, so young people can learn something more about this society and world. Parents are like old books helping youth to comprehend the morals and values of the whole world. Hence, no matter for which age group of people, parents have always been their best teachers to support them.To conclude, parents care about their descendants and would like to influence them with active attitudes, because there is no one like parents devote their energy(stamina) to educate their children. There is doubtlessly that parents are the best teachers in people’s life.

各种synonyms使用大流畅,metaphor用的也挺增色……例子也挺合适……复杂句有的时候容易出错……我也有这个问题

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IBT Zeal Cancer巨蟹座

发表于 2009-11-3 20:32:03 |显示全部楼层
LS 你群里的ID是多少...你看你改的..这么多乱码也不说去下..??这么难么就..分段也没有..怎么看

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发表于 2009-11-3 21:21:39 |显示全部楼层
11.2 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents are the best teachers. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.) P% E! n9 j* N# v6 L5 A; q  W! f/ y
7 o8 r: s: l6 r( B6 J! {- }
翠花还真一大才女哈,作文写得我跳不出毛病了,赞啊
有点不足的是 感觉证明的不是很充分,其他都很好。
Like an old saying goes in my country: parents are the first teachers in one’s life. It is them who devote the whole life to educate and influence descendents in various ways. As we know, living environment plays (an)major role in the
development of children’s personalities and qualities. Hence, I believe that parents are the best teachers in human’s life. And more details are as follow.1 [' D4 w& M. J6 I

Children learn facts to understand knowledge by mimicing from people around them. It is the way they try to know this world better, thus parents are obliged to present a good example. Let’s take my friend’s son as an example. Last Christmas we showed up in my friend’s party and his son, a six year old child impressed us a lot with his polite behaviors. Besides he played a piece of music on piano, which brought a fantastic atmosphere and made others unforgettable. My friend’s son also assisted her to serve tea and coffee and other deserts for guests. Honestly it was my first time to see a little kid having such good manners, but meanwhile we also know that his parents must devote efforts on educating him by their proper behaviors and morals. Children could not totally understand this world with limited capacity, need parents to guide them just like a small boat on the ocean, should be led by experienced captains to head for right direction.5 F0 ]: p6 l( t% J

Parents still provide appropriate solutions as guidance to descendant even if they grow up. When people just step into society in working position, they have to confront situation that how to deal with the interpersonal communication. Parents with more knowledge could show younger generation with their own experience, so young people can learn something more about this society and world. Parents are like old books helping youth to comprehend the morals and values of the whole world. Hence, no matter for which age group of people, parents have always been their best teachers to support them.

To conclude, parents care about their descendants and would like to influence them with active attitudes, because there is no one like parents devote their energy to educate their children. There is doubtlessly that parents are the best teachers in people’s life.
as is tale,so is life

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发表于 2009-11-4 17:50:42 |显示全部楼层
11.3
Some people prefer to live in a small town. Others prefer to live in a big city. Which place would you prefer to live in? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer


Since advanced equipment and transportation in modern society make every thing easier, it reduces humans’ stress in others ways. Developed machines in hospital assist doctors to check disease, and modern transportations cause long distance short. However, all those are more available to achieve in metropolitan. Hence, I prefer to live in big city instead of small towns. More details are as follow.

It is more convenient for humans to enjoy the facilities in metropolitan. Both developed economy and high level civilization play significant roles in enhancing equipments. Let’s take hospital in big city as an example. Firstly most doctors there have master even PHD degrees, with some who graduated from medical university in overseas. Their capacities could improve effectiveness when there are crowded patients. In additional, hospitals in big city have strong economic strength to purchase advanced equipments to check diseases such as CT and Biotic machine. However, things are distinguished in small town. From my friend who moved to countryside I learnt that it is a little hard for local residents to visit doctors especially when they got serious diseases. For many times, I saw people from far mountains areas taking hours to see the doctors to metropolitans. Living in big city, problems can be erased. Like last time I got flu and had to get shot every day, fortunately the closed modern hospital around my neighborhood prevented me from taking too much time on the way to hospital, which gave me more time to have a rest at home.

As we know that most famous private elementary schools and universities also locate in metropolitans. And students are obtained better opportunities to study in a more civilized environment and are influenced by strong culture atmosphere. I met some one who is from a small town studying in a foreign language in order to improve her ability. As she said, the education for both adults and children are quite weak in her hometown comparing with in big city. Meanwhile other Training Centers for adult attract more young people from metropolitans and towns, villages around it. Therefore, due to living in big city, it avoids me from paying rents fees and transportation from present apartment to family on weekends.

To conclude, with what the passages supported above, I strongly believe that living in metropolitan is more comfortable and convenience in various aspects.

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发表于 2009-11-4 20:31:28 |显示全部楼层
我就只是来顶顶 呵呵

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发表于 2009-11-5 23:31:51 |显示全部楼层
我来改11。4号的作业,hoho,吼两声,我可是从第一页找到最后一页的,好辛苦啊:curse:

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发表于 2009-11-6 00:09:12 |显示全部楼层
我来改11。4号的作业,hoho,吼两声,我可是从第一页找到最后一页的,好辛苦啊:curse:
daisy840228 发表于 2009-11-5 23:31

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发表于 2009-11-6 00:45:28 |显示全部楼层
过来看看,上次谢谢你的热心~~
勤奋的孩子,GOD WILL BLESS YOU
黑夜给了我们黑色的眼镜,而我们却用它来寻找光明。

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RE: 进军美利坚Chineselady备考日志 [修改]

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