进军美利坚Chineselady备考日志

我是chineseladyUID: 2662783

11.5 Some people think that they can learn better by themselves than with a teacher. Others think that it is always better to have a teacher. Which do you prefer?

Teachers play significant role in humans’ life, extending from elementary school to college. They impart facts to assist people to understand knowledge deeply; meanwhile teachers encourage people to have ability to study by oneself. It may bring out a heated debate that whether learning better by oneself than follow a teacher. With more advanced facilities, I believe that both self-study and teachers could help one to study more due to in different situations.

During period of primary education, teachers transfer academic knowledge in field of math, writing and grammar. That is the foundation to learn any program in one’s future. For instance, students who prefer to pursue higher education in university should have good academic achievement to become qualified. As children in elementary schools, their capacities are not adequate to study by themselves. Therefore, teachers are pretty major for them and lead them to right way. With immature mind and psychology, they are easy to be influenced by what they studied and by environment. Teachers could impart them morel and value of this world. Otherwise, they would be lost just like a small boat without experienced captains. Let’s take my teacher in my elementary school as an example. At that time, it was popular to play video games among students, which made some of them addicted in playing it only and forgot their school assignment. Our teacher always kept telling stories about those who got dire consequence due to too much time on video games; also taught us that nothing is important than one’s future. Because of weak ability to improve value of the world, teachers try to lead us in a right and reason way.

On the other hand, one cannot depend on teachers in gaining knowledge and enhance his/her comprehend ability the whole life. With more advanced facilities in modern society, there are various methods for one to learn, such as internet class, other Medias and self-study. Let’s take example of teachers in elementary school again. Besides teaching academic subjects, teachers also assist students to develop the capacity of learning by themselves, because teachers know no one can totally count on teaches forever. They need to have their own values and thoughts. Since studying in university, school life becomes very distinguished. Most of time students have to do researches and write papers by themselves; even if they need information and knowledge, students have to seek individually by searching on internet or going to library. Therefore, people also can have better academic achievement through learning in other way instead of only by a teacher.

To conclude, people could achieve better learning with teachers when have no ability to study by themselves, but at the same time, they can study more through other methods like what the passages discussed in above.

daisy840228UID: 2684617

206# 我是chineselady 11.3 # X5 K l# B% V( e, G! Z Some people prefer to live in a small town. Others prefer to live in a big city. Which place would you prefer to live in? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer7 d$ N x% l) F6 B5 ~ , u7 t! ?- E3 s( K- h4 `: J

Since advanced equipment and transportation in modern society make every thing easier, it reduces humans’ stress in others ways. Developed machines in hospital assist doctors to check disease, and modern transportations cause long distance short. However, all those are more available to achieve in metropolitan－好词，我在写作的时候使劲想啊想啊，就是没想起来怎么拼. Hence, I prefer to live in －a big city instead of －a small town－建议一起单数或一起复数. More details are as follow. 5 c! |5 @8 m. b 1 k' l+ o0 d. N. Y

It is more convenient for humans －有s的啊？我以为是集体名词了，再确认下to enjoy the facilities in metropolitan. Both developed economy and high level civilization play significant roles in enhancing equipments. Let’s take hospital in big city as an example. Firstly most doctors there have master even PHD degrees, with－比较怪，among those， some who graduated from medical university in overseas. Their capacities could improve effectiveness when there are crowded patients. In additional, hospitals in big city have strong economic strength to purchase advanced equipments to check diseases such as CT and Biotic machine. However, things are distinguished－distinct，你想表达的吧？ in －a small town. From my friend who moved to countryside I learnt that it is－was a little hard for local residents－好 to visit doctors especially when they got serious diseases. For many times, I saw people from far mountains －mountainous？ areas taking hours to see the doctors to metropolitans. Living in －a big city, problems can be erased. Like last time －感觉比较口语I got flu and had to get shot every day, fortunately the closed－close就好了 modern hospital around my neighborhood prevented me from taking too much time on the way to hospital, which gave me more time to have a rest at home.

As we know that most famous private elementary schools and universities also locate in metropolitans. And students are obtained better opportunities to study in a more civilized environment and are influenced by strong culture atmosphere. I met some one who is from a small town studying in a foreign language in order to improve her ability. As she said, the education for both adults and children are quite weak in her hometown comparing with －that in big city. Meanwhile other Training Centers for adult attract more young people from metropolitans and towns, villages around it. Therefore, due to living in big city, it avoids me from paying rents fees and transportation from present apartment to family on weekends.－不明白，为什么会avoid，不是要付的吗？!

To conclude, with what the passages supported above, I strongly believe that living in metropolitan is more comfortable and convenience in various aspects.

细节支撑得挺好，不过我觉得第二段不够充分，单从一个人的感受，如果像第一段的理论加实例更好。语言这次错得比较多，恩

canlanxingkongUID: 2623477

11.5 Some people think that they can learn better by themselves than with a teacher. Others think that it is always better to have a teacher. Which do you prefer?

Teachers play significant role in humans’ life, extending from elementary school to college. They impart facts to assist people to understand knowledge deeply; meanwhile teachers encourage people to have ability to study by oneself. It may bring out a heated debate that whether learning better by oneself than follow a teacher.(learning by oneself better than following a teacher) With more advanced facilities, I believe that both self-study and teachers could help one to study more due to in different situations(due to different situations).
During period of primary education, teachers transfer academic knowledge in field of math, writing and grammar(transfer知识可以这么说么？in field of math可以，后面改为in wring and grammar). That is the foundation to learn any program in one’s future. For instance, students who prefer to pursue higher education in university should have good academic achievement to become qualified. As children in elementary schools, their capacities are not adequate to study by themselves. Therefore, teachers are pretty major(表达什么意思) for them and lead them to right way. With immature mind and psychology, they are easy to be influenced by what they studied and（or） by environment. Teachers could impart them morel and value of this world. Otherwise, they would be lost(lost their way) just like a small boat without experienced captains. Let’s Let me take my teacher in my elementary school as an example. At that time, it was popular to play video games among students, which made some of them addicted in playing it only and （so that they）forgot their school assignment. Our teacher always kept telling stories about those who got dire consequence due to too much time spent on video games; also the teacher taught us that nothing is important than one’s future. Because of weak ability to improve value of the world, teachers try to lead us in a right and reason way.1 H. q& v1 F4 M" S# u

On the other hand, one cannot depends on teachers in gaining knowledge and enhance his/her comprehend ability the whole life(depends on teachers who grant knowledge to enhance his or her comprehend ability in one’s whole life). With more advanced facilities in modern society, there are various methods for one to learn, such as internet class, other Medias and self-study. Let’s take example of teachers in elementary school again. Besides teaching academic subjects, teachers also assist students to develop the capacity of learning by themselves, because teachers know no one can totally count on teaches forever. They need to have their own values and thoughts. 这个例子举得不好Since studying in university, school life becomes very distinguished. Most of time students have to do researches and write papers by themselves; even if they need information and knowledge, students have to seek individually by searching on internet or going to library. Therefore, people also can(should)have better academic achievement through learning in other way instead of only by a teacher(learning from a teacher).
7 h+ q" C% f+ v! Y/ q. `5 q
To conclude, people could achieve better learning with teachers when they have no ability to study by themselves, but at the same time, they can study more through other methods like what the passages discussed in (去掉)above.
词汇丰富，结构合理，语句表达和个别词语上还要加强，加油

sаavedroUID: 2619590

211# 我是chineselady
:curse:

我是chineslаdyUID: 2722779

1# 我是chineselady







呼啦~~~~  呼啦~~~~  呼啦~~~~

zhengping001UID: 2689322

11.5Some people think that they can learn better by themselves than with a teacher.Others think that it is always better to have a teacher. Which do you prefer?


Teachers play significant role in humans’ life, extending fromelementary school to college. They impart facts to assist people to understandknowledge deeply; meanwhile teachers encourage people to have ability to studyby oneself. It may bring out a heated debate that whether learning better byoneself than follow a teacher. With more advanced facilities, I believe thatboth self-study and teachers could help one to study more due to in differentsituations.开头写得很好啊！学习了& {5 ^- L" z+ E% ]4 u) M8 D

During period of primary education,teachers transfer academic knowledge in field of math, writing and grammar.That is the foundation to learn any program in one’s future. For instance,students who prefer to pursue higher education
in university（多余）should have good academic achievement to become qualified. As children inelementary schools, their capacities are not adequate to study by themselves.Therefore, teachers are pretty major for them and lead them to right way. Withimmature mind and psychology, they（指代不明确，children） are easy to be influencedby what they studied and by environment. Teachers could impart them morel and value (道德价值是moralvalues，世界观/人生观是world views/a view of life)
of this world. Otherwise, they would be lost justlike a small boat without experienced captains. Let’s take my teacher in myelementary school as an example. At that time, it was popular to play videogames among students, which made some of them addicted in playing (to play, addict to 固定搭配) it only and forgot theirschool assignment. Our teacher(s) alwayskept telling stories about those who got dire consequence due to too much timeon video games; also taught us that nothing is important than one’s future.Because of weakability to improve value of the world (没看懂啥意思), teachers try to lead us in a rightand
reason (reasonable) way. |5 ~: }7 [. r( v5 L( T

On the other hand, onecannot depend(s)
on teachers in gainingknowledge and enhance(and前后时态最好一致，enhancing) his/her comprehend (comprehensive)
ability (in)
the whole life. With more advancedfacilities in modern society, there are various methods for one to learn, suchas internet class(es), other Medias andself-study. Let’s take (an)example of teachers in elementary school again. Besides teaching academicsubjects, teachers also assist students to develop the capacity of learning bythemselves, because teachers know no one can totally count on teaches forever.They need to have their own values and thoughts. Since studying in university,school’s life becomes very distinguished (distinguishing). Most of time students haveto do researches and write papers by themselves; even if they need informationand knowledge, students have to seek individually by searching on internet orgoing to library. Therefore, people also can have better academic achievementthrough learning in other way instead of only by a teacher.3 i4 [4 G: q) Q; u$ k' s& a

To conclude, people couldachieve better learning with (from)
teachers when have no (adequate) ability to study by themselves, but at the same time, they canstudy more through other methods like what the passages discussed in above.
总评：写得还可以，不过让步写得太多了，应该着重偏向一个观点，应该有的放矢，错误不多，字数也很多，4分的作文，学习了，本人水平有限，评错的地方还望告之。

我是chineseladyUID: 2662783

5.9  5.16  6.21  8.16  10.25  10.11  10.17  11.23

kathryn慕云UID: 2638683

215# 我是chineslаdy



冒牌的。。。来错地了貌似

Jodie_310UID: 2439321

Dear 花花，
答应了帮你改作文的，可是一直很忙。实在是对不住啦。今天有空就帮你看一篇。
我发现我几个星期没碰托福，有些东西可能也把握得不太准了。

我就在别人的基础上帮你看看哟。

11.5Some people think that they can learn better by themselves than with a teacher.Others think that it is always better to have a teacher. Which do you prefer?

Teachers play significant role in humans’ life, extending from elementary school to college. They impart facts to assist people to understand knowledge deeply; meanwhile teachers encourage people to have ability to study by oneself（前面是people,后面应该用themselves对应）. It may bring out a heated debate that whether learning better by oneself than follow a teacher（that从句缺少动词，改成whether learning by oneself is better than following a teacher）. With more advanced facilities, I believe that both self-study and teachers could help one to study more due to in different situations.开头写得很好啊！学习了
以后要注意把单词隔开哦，发现你很多单词连一块了，估计考官不喜欢看呢

During period of primary education, teachers transfer（转移知识？？？是不是用impart或teach会好些？） academic knowledge in field of math, writing and grammar.（小学就学得这么深奥了么？我感觉我是初中才学这些东西的呢。或者你可以说是小学和中学的时候）That is the foundation to learn any program in one’s future. For instance,students who prefer to pursue higher education' X" Rin university（多余/我觉得不多余，讲详细点没什么不好）should have good academic achievement to become qualified. As children in elementary schools, their capacities are not adequate to study by themselves.Therefore, teachers are pretty major for them and lead them to right way.（这句话才是前面这个层次的核心哦，所以应该放到前面去说。因为你强调的是在什么情况下有老师指导学生学习更好） With immature mind and psychology, they（指代不明确，children） are easy to be influenced by what they studied and by environment. Teachers could impart them morel and value (道德价值是moral values，世界观/人生观是world views/a view of life) of this world. Otherwise, they would be lost just like a small boat without experienced captains. Let’s take my teacher in my elementary school as an example. At that time, it was popular to play video games among students, which made some of them addicted in playing (to play, addict to 固定搭配) it only and forgot their school assignments. Our teacher(s) always kept telling stories about those who got dire consequence due to too much time on video games; also taught us that nothing is important than one’s future.Because of weakability to improve value of the world (没看懂啥意思), teachers try to lead us in a rightand  Z( f: B. ]* J4 u8 M& @- Y5 }
reason (reasonable) way.
----------------------------------------------
例子挺好的，不过我觉得整个结构要换一下才好。可以这么来说：
On the one hand, a young adolescent can learn knowledge better if there are some teachers guide him. Since children are young when they are in primary and middle school, their capacities are not adequate to study by themselves. With immature mind, children are easily allured by outside environment so that they can not concentrate on their studies very well. In the meantime, what knowleage they learn in middle schools are the foundation of the study in the future if they want to receive higher education in universities. Therefore, it requires teachers to teach them well and let them understand the basic information. 接下来就可以举你的那个例子了，不过还要简练一点。之后再总结。Hence, with the assist from teachers, young students can learn better.
注意一定要紧扣题目。文章整个的focus是哪种学习方法更好，你的每一段的开头和结尾也应该是说明哪种方法更好，然后中间再具体阐述它好的理由和用例子证明。
------------------------------------------------------

On the other hand, one cannot depend(s)7    on teachers in gaining knowledge and enhance(and前后时态最好一致，enhancing) his/her comprehend (comprehensive) ability (in) the his or her whole life. In this situation, one should study on one's own. With more advanced facilities in modern society, there are various methods for one to learn, such as internet class(es), other Medias and self-study. Let’s take (an)example of teachers in elementary school again. Besides teaching academic subjects, teachers also assist students to develop the capacity of learning by themselves, because teachers know no one can totally count on(depend on) teaches forever. They need to have their own values and thoughts.(个人觉得再把小学的例子拿在这里说用处不大，小学老师也不一定教了自学能力，而且这个能力主要是靠自己掌握的) Since studying in university, school’s life becomes very distinguished (distinguishing). （When people enroll in universities, they will find a more colorful/diversified life there）In Most of time students have to do researches and write papers by themselves; even if they need information and knowledge, students have to seek individually by searching on internet or going to library. Therefore, people also can have better academic achievements through learning in other way instead of only by a teacher. 如果不说小学的话，后面还可以继续说工作中也需要自学能力等等等等。最后还是要记得总结，说自学能力很重要，同样能帮助人学到很多东西云云。

To conclude, people could achieve better learning with (from) teachers when have no (adequate) ability to study by themselves（呵呵说人家木有自学能力还是太绝对化了呢）, but at the same time, they can study more through other methods like what the passages discussed in above.略显啰嗦，你可以直接说the two study methods have their own advantages, therefore people can learn well both by themselves and by teachers' guide.
总评：写得还可以，不过让步写得太多了，应该着重偏向一个观点，应该有的放矢，错误不多，字数也很多，4分的作文，学习了，本人水平有限，评错的地方还望告之。
我觉得这样写也不错，算是case by case的那种写法吧。值得注意的地方在文章中都提到了。
1.一定要点题，这样考官看作文时一目了然，一眼看过去就知道你的观点是什么。
2.例子要适当简洁，能支持观点就可以了。（最佩服旸旸的举例了~~）另外观点还可以放得更开阔些，不一定全文都要局限于一个地方。这样也就更有东西写嘛（这个不是指你这篇文章）
3.语法，这个还好，不过一些细节的地方，比如两个词中间没空格，单复数的对应等等，平时练习的时候还是要注意的，不然考试时也改不掉。

呼呼。。。我改得挺严的，有些也是我个人的看法，不一定适合你。总之，希望对你有帮助咯~

Jodie_310UID: 2439321

我还在编辑你就给我评分了呀。。。呵呵。。。先看看嘛。。。万一评得不好就对不起你的加分了

我是chineseladyUID: 2662783

伤口真是辛苦你了:loveliness: 谢谢

我是chineseladyUID: 2662783

11.7 In general, people are living longer now. Discuss the causes of this phenomenon

Longevity has been a dream through the whole history and civilization. Almost every King in historical period struggled to seek for an effective way to keep alive longer. In modern society, based on advanced facilities and better sanitation condition, humans have achieved to live longer than people in ancient time. Therefore, I believe that people have longer lifespan than in the past.

Developed equipment in specific working position prevents people from getting hurt and costing too much energy. Decades ago, humans had to do some constructions by labor in physics, which brought those people unhealthy bodies. For instance, the main purpose of establishing Great Wall was to protect nation and its citizens. But that project had lasted for many decades and numerous labors died due to too much time on working under wrecked conditions. It is sad! Things have been distinct in recent years. Last summer, people from all over the world to watch Beijing Olympic in Bird Net, an attractive and meaningful stadium. It only took around five years to complete and no one passed away owning to being exhausted. The modern facilities, such as computer and trucks save people from getting involved in physical problem. It is one of main aspects that people live longer presently.

Meanwhile, modern medicines cure serious diseases that could not be recovered before. Chicken pot, malaria and even some cancers all can be overcome now. Those diseases can make people die but at current, modern medicines already cure it, which plays a significant role in gaining longevity. Also with humans’ consciousness about sanitation and environment protection, people start to reduce pollution in order to gain a clearer surrounding to live. The conditions now are quite distinguishing and all of these could assist people to live long. Finally, it is popular now to take healthy food like vitamin and calcium and that helps people to keep healthy and decrease physical problem.

To conclude, with what the passages claim above, humans in modern society live longer than those in the past time under developed equipment and medicines.

HYPS2011UID: 2618437

Longevity has been a dream through the whole history and civilization. Almost every King in historical period struggled to seek for an effective way to keep alive longer. In modern society, based on advanced facilities and better sanitation condition, humans have achieved to live longer than people in ancient time （humans have achieved longer lifespan compared to ancestors  living in the remote past）. Therefore, I believe that people have longer lifespan than in the past.


Developed equipment in specific working position prevents people from getting hurt and costing too much energy. Decades ago, humans had to do some constructions by labor in physics, which brought those people unhealthy bodies. For instance, the main purpose of establishing Great Wall was to protect nation and its citizens. But that project had （用一般过去试就好）lasted for many decades and numerous labors died due to (arduous work condition and extreme environment )  too much time on working under wrecked conditions. It is sad! Things have been distinct in recent years. Last summer, people from all over the world to watch Beijing Olympic in Bird Net, an attractive and meaningful stadium. It only took around five years to complete and  no one passed away  owning to being exhausted. The modern facilities, such as computer and trucks save people from getting involved in physical problem. It is one of main aspects ( contributes to )that people live longer presently.

Meanwhile, modern medicines cure serious diseases that could not be recovered before.(Improved medical condition can bring cures to intractable diseases that were lethal ever before  这样表达吧 赫赫  )  Chicken pot, malaria and even some cancers all can be overcome （overcame） now. Those diseases can make people die but at current, modern medicines already can cure it, which plays a significant role in gaining longevity. Also with humans’ consciousness about sanitation and environment protection 很好的句子, people start to reduce pollution in order to gain a clearer surrounding to live with. The conditions now are quite distinguishing and all of these could assist people to live longer. Finally, it is popular now to take healthy food like vitamin and calcium and that  (结构有点问题) helps people to keep healthy and decrease physical problem.'

翠花 我觉得你写得好很多了，真的 结构上真的值得我学习，加油。



例子 amazing , envious

如是_ivyUID: 2704554

11.7 In general, people are living longer now. Discuss the causes of this phenomenon) O/ l- f* M$ \" \+ F  E

5 L' ?# B, P7 W- M2 T
Longevity has been a dream through the whole history and civilization. Almost every King in historical period struggled to seek for an effective way to keep alive longer. In modern society, based on advanced facilities and better sanitation condition, humans have achieved to live longer than people in ancient time. Therefore, I believe that people have longer lifespan than in the past.



2 d  J- `$ n% ~+ J# P$ }3 |' Q
Developed equipment in specific working position prevents people from getting hurt and costing too much energy. Decades ago, humans had to do some constructions by labor in physics, which brought those people unhealthy bodies. For instance, the main purpose of establishing the Great Wall was to protect nation and its citizens. But that project had lasted for many decades and numerous labors died due to too much time on working under wrecked conditions. It is sad!(建议写个感叹句吧。这个真的是感觉想写感叹句但又米写） Things have been distinct in recent years. Last summer, people from all over the world to watch Beijing Olympic in Bird Net, an attractive and meaningful stadium. It only took around five years to complete and no one passed away owning to being exhausted. The modern facilities, such as computer and trucks save people from getting involved in physical problem. It is one of main aspects that people live longer presently.



o( U+ ?" X1 w+ ~
Meanwhile, modern medicines cure serious diseases that could not be recovered before. Chicken pot, malaria and even some cancers all can be overcome now. Those diseases can make people die but at current, modern medicines already cure it, which plays a significant role in gaining longevity. Also with humans’ consciousness about sanitation and environment protection, people start to reduce pollution in order to gain a clearer surrounding to live. The conditions now are quite distinguishing and all of these could assist people to live long. Finally, it is popular now to take healthy food like vitamin and calcium and that helps people to keep healthy and decrease physical problem.这句怎么感觉和本段中心句有些游离2 ^! A6 R* q6 Y

; E2 ?: l7 p5 t& ]
To conclude, with what the passages claim above, humans in modern society live longer than those in the past time under developed equipment and medicines.

没啥错误，论证也很充分，也有细节~~翠花姐我今天状态不好，看完没啥感觉，sorry啊~~

我是chineseladyUID: 2662783

11.9
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Grades (marks) encourage students to learn. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

Based on traditional education, score plays significant role in students’ life. Sometimes, it can change their futures. But with developing of people’s consciousness on overall education, grade is not the main part to judge students. Besides, grade is not the only stimulus for students to study. Some may be encouraged by their dreams or by interests. Hence, I do not believe that grade can encourage students to learn more facts.

Currently higher score is and will not be the only requirement to be accepted by university. It is very distinguished from years ago because now students could apply for famous college by other benefits, such as working experience and managing ability. Let’s us take my applying experience as example. I admit that my academic achievement is not attractive comparing with other students. But I’m still encouraged to apply the university I prefer in the States due to having interests and specific experience. I understand that college consider students’ all information including academic score and other related ability while decide who should have offers. Therefore, I tried to gain related experience and knowledge before applied. What I chose is my favorite major. Definitely I am encouraged by my interests to learn facts about my program in graduate school. And I am also encouraged by gaining more working experience to study because it is one of effective methods to get knowledge.

Students will be exhausted when only be encouraged by score. Especially those have difficulties in getting high score. That will make students discouraged and it can bring up dire consequence without confidence in learning from low scores. So for those, teachers and parents should adopt other methods to encourage them to study such as a short trip then to have a representation about what they learnt from that experience. Students will focus on the information and knowledge during the trip because they know what will complete later. It is one way to encourage them to study except scores only. Grades can be appropriate for some students but not for all.

To conclude, with the passages talked above, score is not the only for students to study as there are various aspects to stimulate them in order not to cause them frustrated when having low grades.