进军美利坚Chineselady备考日志

我是chineseladyUID: 2662783

ribosome 核糖体
Israel 以色列
molecular 分子的, 基本结构的
crystallograph 晶体学
amino acid 氨基酸

happyzhengangUID: 2502624

10.8 happyzhengang（sunshine修改）
Assignificant modern facilities, both telephone and television play importantroles in human’s daily life. But if it comes to a question that which one hasmore effect on people and people’s life(有点重复吧~), I believe that telephone, with itsmerit and convenience, influence(s) people deeply. And more details are as follow.
这样开头挺好~~虽然模板了些，但是节省时间啊~我也该考虑选个模板了~


It was(is the) telephone that is narrow(narrows) the distance between peoplelive in far areas. In ancient time, people needed to go on horseback when hademergency news. Even if the destination was not far, it still could(would) deferred by many troubles,such as bad weather and undeveloped pathway.(这点说的不错) Phone provides the chance to transferurgent message and information in current society. For instance, every countryhas its emergent phone No. to resolve problem and save life like calling forpolice station and hospital. Last spring, my neighbor’s apartment was on fire.Within five minutes, firemen and fire trucks arrived and put out the fire. Obviously,some one just gave them a call to transfer and describe this dangeroussituation. Without telephone, taking massage by driving or riding may becomeone of methods people could choose. But other neighbors would get involved inthis fire situation if firemen could not have appeared in such a short time.Additionally, overseas students could say greeting to their families by phonecalls. Traditionally, they may have gone to post office to mail their letters.Since increasing people use telephones, greeting by phone has become morepopular, effective and essential in people’s life than any other communicationtools.例证挺详细的了，赞，不错
Television,as one of entertainments（media）,also has its advantages. In the evening, people could learn what happened inthe world through television program over dinner. Family members can discussthe main idea of the news or TV show, which may enhance their relationship.However, there are other modern facilities and technologies occupying humans’life. The news on internet, generally, is the latest; besides, most people needto use internet in their working position. Hence, the impact of television onpeople’s lifestyle is not as strong as telephone. The reason is otherfacilities like internet, radio broadcast all could replace TV in some sense.Comparing with benefits of telephone, television is kind of weak.（我觉得这段的说服力不是很强，因为internet等可以代替TV，同样的internet上现在也可以打电话啊，可以换个角度，从影响力上面来说）

Toconclude, it is telephone has more influence on people in modern societybecause it can transfer massage immediately, to show greetings and tellinformation others need.
总体来说文章还是很通顺的，但是有一个弱点（我的文章也一样）就是说服力不强，我也没有找到什么好的方面来说~ 可以讨论下

我是chineseladyUID: 2662783

10.9 你同不同意现在的人们没有以前friendly了

Currently, humans bear heavy pressure from fierce competition, so they show frustrated and deliberated most time. It may cause a question that whether people in modern society are less friendly than before or not. It seems that their behaviors express unfriendly and indifferent, however, I believe that humans in present society are more friendly. And more details are as follow.

It is an unjust view to consider that people are not friendly due to keep distance with others. It is true that under this situation of rapidly developing economy and culture, people are increasingly concerned about their privacy, which is distinguished from decades ago. Take an example in my country, my grandparents, living in countryside, told me they had never locked doors when was out because neighbors were like part of family would not steal anything from their house. People, at that time, showed specific hospitality and friendliness to neighbors, relatives, even strangers. Besides, people from my grandparents’ generation always shared food and other necessities in daily life. Because of undeveloped living condition, only one family had a small black and white television set, however, the rest of neighbors all showed up in that neighbor’ house to watch TV program in the evening.

At present, things have changed widely and deeply. More residents are living in buildings in the city, so lifestyle has become distinctive. New apartments and new neighbors cause limitation for people’s relationship. Nevertheless, it does not mean they are unfriendly. For instance, last summer when one of our neighbors’ apartments was on fire due to getting drunk, others aided to call firemen and other emergency calls, assisting firemen to put out fire. Neighbors finally provided some donations for that family including money, cloth and some equipment. Although people currently do not share more personal life due to keeping privacy, they are still as friendly as before. In my perspective, they use different method to show their concerns and warm hearts. They would like to help and save others who in need but no one prefers to share privacy as people from my grandparent did: to go to neighbors to watch TV. Therefore, in different time, humans have their friendly culture to follow and pursue.

To conclude, people in modern society are still friendly by using their approach. Hence, it is reasonable to claim that they are unfriendly presently.

我是chineseladyUID: 2662783

Some people like to think (there's )something fated about who we fell-fall in love with. It is the-that perfect makes-mix of attraction compatibility and of course timing. But in same cases fate may be takes-ing it cues from birth control pills.

First let's go over a woman's psycal-cycle and how that affects attraction. When woman are overlaying-ovulating, their features changing the weights--in ways that men unconsciously pick up. So men are particularly attracted the--to woman when they are fertile, and (it) works the other way too. When a woman is fertile she' more likely attracted to men with more traditionally masculine in features. And (who) were genecticlly dissimilar to her or more compatible on approach completing.-in terms of procreating.

of course orall conseption-contraception chaning-es a woman's hormonal normal psycal-cycles, her body thinks its pregnant and doesnt go through un-ovulation-induced and dos changing-es. And the-in a study published this month in the Journal chance-trends in Ecology and evolution, researchers say that when woman-wonmen on the pill feels do not show obviously-ovulation and do it-induced attraction to genetically dissimilar partners. So they might be choosing men who (are) more genetically similar, which could lead to some of (the) problems of-with conseption-conception that (have )become increasingly common. Because attraction isnt a fate, its chemistry. " strangers in the night..."

cinderella1016UID: 2666652

楼上你这个做修改记号的方法有问题。。。

我是chineseladyUID: 2662783

ovulation 排卵
procreation 生育,生产, 生殖
induced 引用.引起, 用人工方法引导.
conception 受精, 构想力

我是chineseladyUID: 2662783

10.10 playing computer games is wasting time 。 Children should not allowed to play them


Since computer and other related products have been used in modern society, the situation of whether children should play computer game is increasingly becoming controversy. I believe that children, with immature physical and mental state, should not connect with computer game. And more details are as follow.

The radiation and closed distance to computer can cause some physical problems. At present, increasing kids are near sighted due to wrong way to do some readings, spending hours watching TV program as well as playing computer games. Children are at the stage of developing in their psychology and physiology. They should have right method to grow up and get mature. Take of my experience as an example. Because it was the first time I learnt how serious the problem is if kids get involved in computer game. I worked for a training center as a tutor in my last summer vacation, where I met my student, a 9-year old boy who did not like school assignment. Even if we needed to study English every day and I gave him homework, he still spent hours playing it. At very beginning, I did not notice it would lead to a dire consequence; as probably he should have relaxed in vacation. Nevertheless, as soon as summer vacation had gone, he started to wear glasses. My student told me directly that playing computer game made him near-sighted. Currently, more students have to wear glasses at very young age, but for those who are not definitely should protect their eyes from being near-sighted. In this situation, keeping away from computer game is a beneficial way.

Computer game cannot assist children to learn computer knowledge. Some people may consider that games provide kids chances to study and they should learn from playing computer games. It would be effective if children are exposed to active games and activities; however, computer game does not belong to active games. First, most games in computer are pretty aggressive about fighting. Second, there are plenty of unrealistic and new style games, such as dancing in role of dancer and internet community that children could buy their apartment, even get merry there. Those fantasy games limit children to learn and enjoy this real world; they may become unpractical and misunderstanding to real life. Children, with limited experience and capacity could not distinguish realistic and unrealistic.

To conclude, children should not be encouraged to play any computer games because it will not benefit them. Computer game could cause related problems in children’s physiology.

我是chineseladyUID: 2662783

楼上你这个做修改记号的方法有问题。。。
cinderella1016 发表于 2009-10-10 18:14

刘兄哇..

我是chineseladyUID: 2662783

刘兄啥时候帮我也看看作文的说

karen_0315UID: 2590040

Currently, humans bear heavy pressure from fierce competition, so they show frustrated and deliberated most time. It may cause a question that whether people in modern society are less friendly than before or not. It seems that their behaviors express unfriendly and indifferent, however, I believe that humans in present society are more friendly. And more details are as follow.

It is an unjust view to consider that people are not friendly due to keep distance with others. It is true that under this situation of rapidly developing economy and culture(读者特别奇怪，一般都说rapid development of economy and culture, developing economy是发展中的经济，不是经济发展), people are increasingly concerned about their privacy, which is distinguished from decades ago（distinguish的用法不太对，它是识别辨别的一次，不是与..不同的意思）. Take an example in my country, my grandparents, living in countryside, told me they had never locked doors when was out because neighbors were like part of family would not steal anything from their house. People, at that time, showed specific hospitality and friendliness to neighbors, relatives, even strangers. Besides, people from my grandparents’ generation always shared food and other necessities in daily life. Because of undeveloped living condition, only one family had a small black and white television set, however, the rest of neighbors all showed up in that neighbor’ house to watch TV program in the evening.（show up的用法有问题，下面是英文解释：to arrive where you have arranged to meet sb or do sth）

At present, things have changed widely and deeply. More residents are living in buildings in the city, so lifestyle has become distinctive. New apartments and new neighbors cause limitation(这个有点不太搭，可以换个动词或者直接用limit) for people’s relationship. Nevertheless, it does not mean they are unfriendly. For instance, last summer when one of our neighbors’ apartments was on fire due to getting drunk, others aided to call firemen and other emergency calls(用一个就可以，觉得太罗嗦了), assisting firemen to put out the fire. Neighbors finally provided some donations for that family including money, cloth（clothes单数是布的意思） and some equipments. Although people currently do not share more personal life due to keeping privacy, they are still as friendly as before. In my perspective, they use different method to show their concerns and warm hearts. They would like to help and save others who in need but no one prefers to share privacy as people from my grandparent did: to go to neighbors to watch TV. Therefore, in different time, humans have their friendly culture to follow and pursue.

To conclude, people in modern society are still friendly by using their approach.（是不是想说不同的方法，没有表达出来，加个形容词吧，by去掉） Hence, it is reasonable to claim that they are unfriendly presently.（到底是reasonable 还是unreasonable，前后观点不一致）

要论证自己的观点就要集中论证，前面说父辈的情况用了太多篇幅，让人感觉不到你肯定的态度，不如两段都说现代人friendly的例子。

我是chineseladyUID: 2662783

unreasonable 哇.我又犯老毛病了..老是把正反写错 130# karen_0315

我是chineseladyUID: 2662783

没给我改作文的是不要主动点的说:O

karen_0315UID: 2590040

Since computer and other related products have been used in modern society, the situation of whether children should play computer game is increasingly becoming controversy. (这句话不正确，提炼主干是the situation is becoming controversy.后面至少应该是becoming controversial,become一般接adj，另外没有controversial situation一说，搭配不对。建议there is a violent controversy over whether children should play computer games or not. )I believe that children, with immature physical and mental state, should not connect with computer games. And more details are as follow.

The radiation and closed distance to computer can cause some physical problems. At present, increasing kids(要表达人数的增加应该用a increasing number of kids，不能直接用increasing修饰人，并且kid是口语，不建议在文章中多用) are near sighted（近视眼吗？应该是myopia） due to wrong way to do some readings（我看过一些美国人评中国考生作文说不喜欢绕来绕去的话，好像故意增加字数一样，直接说不正确的阅读习惯就行了，一个词就够）, spending hours watching TV program as well as playing computer games. Children are at the stage of developing in their psychology and physiology. They should have right method to grow up and get mature. Take of my experience as an example. Because it was the first time I learnt how serious the problem is if kids get involved in computer game. I worked for a training center as a tutor in my last summer vacation, where I met my student, a 9-year old boy who did not like school assignment. Even if we needed to study English every day and I gave him homework, he still spent hours playing it（附近没有出现computer game就不能用代词）. At very beginning, I did not notice it would lead to a dire consequence; as probably he should have relaxed in vacation. Nevertheless, as soon as summer vacation had gone, he started to wear glasses. My student told me directly that playing computer game made him near-sighted. Currently, more students have to wear glasses at very young age, but for those who are not definitely should protect their eyes from being near-sighted. In this situation, keeping away from computer game is a beneficial way.

Computer game cannot assist children to learn computer knowledge. Some people may consider that games provide kids chances to study and they should learn from playing computer games. It would be effective if children are exposed to active games and activities; however, computer game does not belong to active games. First, most games in computer are pretty aggressive about fighting. Second, there are plenty of unrealistic and new style games, such as dancing in role of dancer and internet community that children could buy their apartment, even get merry there. Those fantasy games limit children to learn and enjoy this real world; they may become unpractical and misunderstanding to real life. Children, with limited experience and capacity could not distinguish realistic and unrealistic.

To conclude, children should not be encouraged to play any computer games because it will not benefit them. Computer game could cause related problems in children’s physiology.

结构还是不错的，但是搭配很有问题，建议多上google 查查，我一般都是看有没有这种说法的，有很多自己认为可以的都不native

joyceliuUID: 2477232

Sincecomputer and other related products have been used in modern society,the situation of whether children should play computer game isincreasingly becoming controversy. I believe that children, withimmature physical and mental state, should not connect with computergame. And more details are as follow., [. q# v* N# k/ I

2 g+ A6 B& o& `+ zTheradiation and closed distance to computer can cause some physicalproblems. At present, increasing(a growing number of) kids are near sighted due to wrong wayto do some readings(their bad reading habbit), spending hours watching TV program as well asplaying computer games. Children are at the stage of developing intheir psychology and physiology. They should have right method to growup and get mature. Take of my experience as an example. Because it wasthe first time I learnt how serious the problem is if kids get involvedin computer game. I worked for a training center as a tutor in my lastsummer vacation, where I met my student, a 9-year old boy who did notlike school assignment. Even if we needed to study English every dayand I gave him homework, he still spent hours playing it(computer games). At the verybeginning, I did not notice it would lead to a dire consequence; asprobably he should have relaxed in vacation. Nevertheless, as soon assummer vacation had gone, he started to wear glasses. My student toldme directly that playing computer game made him near-sighted.Currently, more students have to wear glasses at very young age, butfor those who are not definitely should protect their eyes from beingnear-sighted. In this situation, keeping away from computer game is abeneficial way( very urgent ).# @! y. F  e7 ^! m8 m( y3 O

# [2 N- |( b( v  ^$ lComputergame cannot assist children to learn computer knowledge. Some peoplemay consider that games provide kids chances to study and they shouldlearn from playing computer games. It would be effective if childrenare exposed to active games and activities; however, computer game doesnot belong to active games. First, most games in computer are prettyaggressive about fighting. Second, there are plenty of unrealistic andnew style games, such as dancing in role of dancer and internetcommunity that children could buy their apartment, even get merry(married)there. Those fantasy games limit children to learn and enjoy this realworld(seperate chilren from the real world); they may become unpractical and misunderstanding to real life.Children, with limited experience and capacity could not distinguishrealistic and unrealistic.3 f+ X' E% L1 @) \. f

" u4 E2 ^' ?; n% Z3 N( {9 wToconclude, children should not be encouraged to play any computer gamesbecause it will not benefit them. Computer game could cause relatedproblems in children’s physiology.

ly8768UID: 2452066

127# 我是chineselady

Since computer and other related products have been used in modern society, the situation of whether children should play computer game is increasingly becoming controversy. I believe that children, with immature physical and mental state, should not connect with computer game. And more details are as follow.

The radiation and closed distance to computer can cause some physical problems. At present, increasing (an increasing number of) kids are near sighted(myopia) due to wrong way to do some readings, spending hours watching TV program as well as playing computer games(如果要说computer game不好就直接说computer不好就可以了). Children are at the stage of developing in their psychology and physiology. They should have right method to grow up and get mature(这两个句子说得感觉太通俗了). Take of(不用of, take sth as an example) my experience as an example. Because it was the first time I learnt how serious the problem is if kids get involved in computer game. I worked for a training center as a tutor in my last summer vacation, where I met my student, a 9-year old boy who did not like school assignment(整个这个句子都不通顺，没有因果关系)Even if we(不是we,应该就是那个boy) needed to study English(study course好了，因为毕竟学生不是全部把整天都用来学英语的) every day and I gave him homework, he still spent hours playing it. At very beginning, I did not notice (that,写作中从句的that不能省略) it would lead to a dire consequence; as probably he should have relaxed in vacation(这个relax in vocation没有说明问题啊，假期休息了平时就不能休息吗，应该着重说addict). Nevertheless, as soon as summer vacation had gone, he started to wear glasses. My student told me directly that playing computer game made him near-sighted. Currently, more students have to wear glasses at very young age, but for those who are not definitely should protect their eyes from being near-sighted. In this situation, keeping away from computer game is a beneficial way.

这段说的十分的乱啊，句子的把握能力要加强的

Computer game cannot assist children to learn computer knowledge. Some people may consider that games provide kids chances to study and they should learn from playing computer games(and 前后两部分说的是同样的意思). It would be effective if children are exposed to active games and activities; however, computer game does not belong to active games(什么是active game啊). First, most games in computer are pretty aggressive about fighting. Second, there are plenty of unrealistic and new style games, such as dancing in role of dancer and internet community that children could buy their apartment, even get merry(marry) there. Those fantasy games limit children to learn and enjoy this(in the real world) real world; they may become unpractical and misunderstanding to real life. Children, with limited experience and capacity(什么的capacity) could not distinguish realistic and unrealistic.

To conclude, children should not be encouraged to play any computer games because it will not benefit them. Computer game could cause related problems in children’s physiology.
这篇严重没有以前写的好。第二段有很多都不知道再讲什么呢。本来议论文应该是讲究逻辑，一步步推理的。可是感觉都很乱。还有句子的表达能力确实需要提高。可以看看范文之类的。或者看看别人的文章，常用句子的表达方式。不过这要是限时写的，字数这么多，还是有进步的