【回报GTER】joyce的作文修改铺【13号打烊】

柏戍UID: 2791754

38# ppjoyce

多谢善良的楼主，确实改的很详细，看的好感动~~~~
也谢谢楼主的鼓励，我也一定会继续加油哒^^

呵呵～衷心祝愿楼主接下来的考试申请一切顺利哈！！！

美丽太阳花UID: 2798404

56# ppjoyce
我去试了，太傻这几天好像出了BUG，我试着这边也是不行
希望那里能快点儿恢复
对了，上次你说的那个131的艺术类的，我做了些修改，你看下吧
不过我承认，我的思路确实是很受限制

LRXSSUID: 2695903

瓦。。这么热闹   。。。我来观摩观摩~~~~顺便顶顶~~

怒放的生命UID: 2754391

看了前面的一些，觉得楼主超善良，打算我考完也做做公益事业。
还是辛苦下楼主，帮我提提建议
这个是第一篇，可能思路不够清楚，我还担心跑题问题。。但这算是我做的一个尝试，没有什么模板。但比较尊重写作本来的面貌。
"How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not
yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."
1.、理解socialization：于特定的文化相对应
2、成功的社会化要想影响社会，需要弄清社会化的深层含义—对于文化的继承、发扬和创造。
3、成功的社会化能够团结社会，以保持稳定。
4、特例
5、如果没有好的影响给予孩子，社会的命运令人担忧
6、教育者（指婴儿时期的父母）的确不够精通教育，但planned socialization病不起主导作用，self-actualization 更重要
7、再者，社会化的好还是不好界定是十分模糊的。举例Darwin

The author asserts that the destiny of society is largely attributable to the socialization of children. I strongly agree with the opinion. The following statement, however, is of little sense from my viewpoint due to the excessive pessimism.

Socialization, broadly defined as a process, through which people learn acceptable and unacceptable behaviors for a given environment, especially children. In the social level, socialization is the kind of concept that wouldn't exist without relation to a certain culture. By socialization, children begin to internalize the social value standard, to learn the oriented role and skill of oneself as well as to modify oneself to adapt to society.

Then, how successful socialization improves the society? The answer is correlated with a more in-depth understanding. It is a social mission for generations to inherit, develop and finally innovate in fine traditions and precious culture. Socialization also commands us to accomplish the mission. The more intense knowledge of who we are do children have, the more accurate and more well-targeted destination do they orient. The spectacular theory of Chinese philosopher Confucius was benefit from his adherent to traditional decorum from his childhood. As he one said, "I am a transmitter but not an innovator." Standing on the shoulders of giants, Confucius perfectly inherited traditional culture, on which he depended to change the society eventually.

On the other hand, only when children are socialized successfully will the whole society unite tightly. A wide consensus is reached that stability is the most satisfying condition for growing.
If all children receive the same socialization, it is likely that they will share the same beliefs and expectations. The fact has been a vigorous motivation for national government throughout the world to standardize school curriculum and make it compulsory for children, assuring a broad acceptance of society's norms as well as a critical solidity.

Of course, exceptions still exists that large-scale societies, such as America, can hardly share one or two types of norms. Children who are well socialized may appear tolerance and acceptance more when dealing with cultural diversity, rather than losing principles or even exclude and reject them.

However, in all societies there are individuals who do not conform to culturally defined standards of normalcy since they were "abnormally" socialized. These individuals also dramatically influence societies. Deviltry has never been terminated through Human society, such as violence, chaos and slaughter, and all societies have continuously fight against them. Without superior, far-sighted and harmonious system of socialization for children, the destiny of our society is undoubtably discomforting.

As to our ability to foster children, one do not need to be pessimistic as the speaker does, who potentially exaggerates the decisive position of the masses of educators. Although the possibility is that how an adult treats and trains infants is fundamentally a duplicate of the individual's experience during childhood. People who were treated strictly during childhood may prone to believe inherently that corporeal pain may of the most effect when teach, and they are likely to abuse or spank children, while some people may demonstrate mild and amiable manner to children like their parents. Occasions above are called planned socialization, which occurs when other people take actions designed to teach others--from infants on. However, what makes the most sense is the natural socialization, which occurs when infants and youngsters explore, play and discover the social world around them. When children gain more personal experience, the leading position is dominated by self-actualization. Children begin to integrate into society stimulated by their own judgment and enthusiasm. Indeed, how independent a child is actually determines how the child is socialized.

Besides, ambiguous dividing line is settled between well and ill socialized. On the premise of obeying virtue rules, external personality, which seems to be socialized more successful, may not necessarily surpass internal personality on contribution. There is no better model than Darwin whose illness and a natural diffidence kept him from public life, and who gave no public lectures on evolution and wrote nothing on the subject more accessible than the Origin of Species. His fame grew as much from the enthusiasm of his admirers as from his own efforts.

GlastiumUID: 2638821

79# 怒放的生命
楼上，这里socialized似乎是『被教育』的意思……好像弄错了会杯具的……

GlastiumUID: 2638821

一样是topic 130..写的有点囧，有点头中脚轻..而且后面思路有点乱，主要是还是没想清楚囧
还是谢谢大好人楼主喔～第一次来改XD

TOPIC: ISSUE130 - "How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."
WORDS: 541          TIME: 00:45:00          DATE: 2010-8-5 22:49:37

It's hard to raise a child, no matter physically or mentally. It's not only a problem of parents, but also a significant concern of the human beings combined, since our children, or the next generation, will determine the destiny of the future of human beings.
But to the society, it's never to be easy to make any decision when considering our children. An example can be, should they be forbidden from violent movies and video games when they're old enough? And it's just one of those problems we havn't decide yet. We have so much differences compared to each other, so as our view towards how a child can be raised. Even if we come to a conclusion that forbidden something is by concession of others, it is not proven to be effective - consider if your neighbor doen't pay enough attention on their children watching porno and your children are playing with his/hers. It may enrage you, thinking how unresponsible your neighbor is, and moreover make you doubt whether public regulations  - then you'll mostly determine to cultivate your children as what you think is proper, regardless of what the society tells you to.
While it's more a chaos than educating children under a common agreement. Everyone tends to have an individual plan for their children, rather than under common belief, which will certainly lead to conflict between recoginition between our children - why is it neccessary to build up peace if their fathers are fighting with each other? It's not rarely varified - the north Koreans teenagers hate Americans because their parents tell them to. The wheel of hatred passes over and over throuhout  generations and this kind of education does not help a little to relief it. It's bitter, and colder welcome awaits our children if we just educate them like this.
It seems all forfeit when we try to educate our children to be an united entity just like we cannot make ourselves to be one. Maybe it's time for us to alter the perspective we view the world. Since it's impossible for us to act like a same person, it's the difference of human instinct that we should be respectful to. Admitting dissimilarity is never a bad thing to our children. Teach our children about those we have in common and also those we differ and tell them what differs worths and cannot be overlooked no matter you like it or not. It's not the education, but the natural differences of human beings, which pushes the world forth like nothing else. Since we are, we grow, and since we grow, we perish. It's a predetermined cycle which human forces cannot trembles, but only affect it a little bit without knowing it's right or not.
So in another aspect, we are not unready to learn how to raise our children, it's the instinct of human beings which has already prepared the blueprint of raising our children. We are always ready, prepared for every new born life and provided them the real world, rather than fruitless and pale education brought foward by anyone, where they'll discover their ture value we'll never be able to predict.

czj521UID: 2869962

请前辈修改，有劳前辈了


48"The study of history places too much emphasis on individuals. The most significant events and trends in history were made possible not by the famous few, but by groups of people whose identities have long been forgotten."





I agree insofar with the speaker's assertion that the study of history places too much emphasis on individuals. Although ordinary people should deserve more attention, one can hardly say for sure that history was created by them. History is composed of different kind of events and trends and actually most significant events and trends in history discovered by historians are from the few famous people.


In my point of view, no one can deny the key roles which played by ordinary people in making history. In old society, these influential individuals always held absolute power. Commonly, their actions and decisions can influenced all history, and can accelerate the step the society marched. Mahatma Gandhi’s supreme efforts in the attainment of freedom can never be estimated while Winston Churchill’s speeches in giving courage to an entire nation can never be ignored. Isaac Newton laid the foundation of mechanics and physics on which our modern technology and science relies while Johannes Guternberg invented printing press which rendered Western knowledge and culture accessible to every class of people throughout the world. Without Sir Alexander Flaming's discovery of penicillin, there may be died because of the bacteria. Without Lincoln, the slavery in America would last for several decades. （我想用排比的形式，使每个例子都比较简洁，不知这样是否正确，有没有更好的表达方式）Just as the Hegel's famous statement about Napoleon, "I saw the spirit on his horse" and Thomas Carlyle, a famous historian, argued that history is something like a biography of some central individuals, it is these highly influential individuals that make the significant events and trends.

Admittedly, it is true that traditional books give too little space to the general people. Sometimes distinct groups of people have played a more pivotal role than these key individuals. Sweeping social changes and political reforms require the participation of large groups of people. Very few famous figures were single-handedly responsible for the outcomes of his achievements. Without the support of manufacturers, publishers, and distributors, Gutenberg would never become famous. Without thousands of loyal soldiers, Napoleon would never have the possibility to be a king. Most famous figures were created by huge history trends which, in my opinion, were created by groups of people. Thus we should not overstate the influence of groups of people. For example, just prior to and during the decline of the Roman Empire, many women fled to join Benedictine monasteries to acquire artifacts, art works, and manuscripts. In this way their monasteries became the centers of the preservations of Western culture and knowledge which would otherwise have been lost forever with the ruin of Roman Empire. Hence, it is unfair to give all the credit to the famous few.

Nevertheless,although the group of people have contributed much to events and trends, their effect are not as important as famous figures. Influential individuals had representative sense. History immortalizes the memories of a few individuals because they can reflect their era. Every historian would agree that studying the groups of people who rode the trend and event is secondary in understanding history. Great minds could frequently reflect the features of their age. （这样对吗？有没有更好的表达方式）In addition, as most of historical notes had recorded only few outstanding individuals and their stories, there are few materials and documents about groups of people. Thus we can get little information about them. As we all know, Alexander Caesar's success was attributed to his leadership, strategy and also his soldiers' bravery, but since we know almost nothing about his soldiers, so we cannot study history from them. Conclusively, we could hardly learn history through multitude.（这段写得很烂，请前辈多加修改）

Taking into all these factors mentioned above, we may safely draw the conclusion that while emphasizing on individuals when studying history, historians should do more work to let us hear the voice of the forgotten majority.

jannethUID: 2769502

hi,又是我，呵呵～就考了，急啊，这是刚写的I103，就是那个研究历史的价值，感觉有好多题目没法破题啊，自己想不太通，怕雷同又不太敢看网上其他的，头痛啊～特别怕离题，帮我看看吧～
103“The study of history has value only to the extent that it is relevant to our daily lives.”
“ History is a mirror”, from this mirror, not only to see the backward, the true meaning of history is to adopt now and predict future. Just for this importance of history, more and more people study history, and then several problems surface from studying, what is the real value of studying history, the close relationship with daily lives, or others. I will discuss this issue carefully in turn.
There is no deny that the it is valuable when the study of history has link with day to day lives. Studying history could make our mind advisable, with summarizing the predecessors’ lessons and absorbing complete experience, we could evaluate ourselves objectively and consider the shortcoming. By this procedure, we can improve ourselves. Meanwhile, it is more faster for developing when the history contacts with daily lives. For a remarkable example, the development of modern medicine is closely related to the study of traditional medicine. From study the records of botany, the experts find some plant of cinchona could prevent and cure malaria, and then deeply study of it and combine with chemistry, scientists extract Quinine through cinchona. Quinine is a significant medicine for malaria and trigeminal neuralgia. For this case, we could find that study of history is beneficial for our daily lives.
The law, close connection with our day to day lives,is also significantly influenced by history. Where is the society , where is the crime, from the Code of Hammurabi, the most complete archetype of law, to contemporary law, by continuous learning and improving the history , the law becomes more and more consummate, thus let us attain more freedom and rights when limits the behaviors. By study of history, the more experience we absorb, the farther forward we go.
The value of studying history  goes beyond our daily lives. History not only affects the extent of our daily lives,scads of other portions are neglected for contracting our daily lives indirectly, such as environment problems and nuclear pollution, are also affected by study of history. From 1950’s, scientists have already been aware of the ozone sphere hole. From that time, scientists begin to observing it and constitute a train of measure to discuss it, by study this part of history, we establish series of statute to restrict the industrial waste gas emission and motor vehicle pollution now, and then protect the ozone sphere to keep individuals from damaging of ultraviolet radiation.
And another remarkable example is nuclear leakage, through using the nuclear to generate electricity, there are several leak disasters happened. By the way of studying these accidents, it could help the government to constitute countermeasures to prevent and tackle the leak beforehand,although the nuclear is further from our daily lives, the value of study history is greatly important and significant for the security of our lives.
The study of history is a persistent procedure of  absorbing experience and weeding out the old and bringing forth the new. The real value of study history is not only for benefiting our daily lives, the most important significance is teaching us thinking, summarizing past, adopting now, and preparing future.
在这里先谢过了哈～

怒放的生命UID: 2754391

谢谢提醒哦
这个我在微软百科查的Socialization, process by which people, especially children, learn acceptable and unacceptable behaviors for a given environment.
后来又看了写英文资料，就理解为“融入社会”，具体来讲就是内化社会价值啊、角色定位啊、与人互动之类的
所以我就这么理解了下
。。。好像这个问题争议是蛮大    可以讨论下
80# Glastium

ppjoyceUID: 2623631

不好意思各位 这两天有些忙 刚打开这页
哇哦 只能说

多谢大家的信任 ：）
我现在去看 回复

ppjoyceUID: 2623631

71# yaoxi28
2010 08 06 第一篇

待会上传修改过的附件：）

ppjoyceUID: 2623631

72# Maydaysj
Sorry 昨天晚上没有改好

我马上改

2010 08 06 第二篇：）

ppjoyceUID: 2623631

79# 怒放的生命
2010 08 06

第3篇：）

希望不要怪我语气有点重，不过真的，你得好好研究范文
还有GTER里面好的经验

多想想题目

ppjoyceUID: 2623631

77# 美丽太阳花
2010 08 06

第4篇

欢迎回来：）

ppjoyceUID: 2623631

81# Glastium 2010 08 06

第5篇

你需要自己改正拼写， 我一复制到Word里面，
就看到了拼写错误，
例如：doen't  unresponsible  neccessary   throuhout

不好意思不能帮你改了~Sorry