【回报GTER】joyce的作文修改铺【13号打烊】

1bueh17UID: 2681271

对您所作的一些点评我做了回复呵呵。
谢谢哈~~~

yinghui12UID: 2855397

153"Students should bring a certain skepticism to whatever they study. Theyshould question what they are taught instead of accepting it passively."
1.      1 质疑精神的重要性。在学习上，自己提出疑问，就会促进自己对问题的认识。因为，首先你会考虑自己的质疑有没有问题。在这个过程中，你将会查阅大量的资料去分析问题，并判断自己是不是正确。这本身就是一个很好的学习过程。然后，你会与别人争论，在个过程中，又会使你的思路开阔。在科学中。例子。Bruno的学说。相对论的发现。
2.      2 现在，很多学生没有质疑的精神。知识被动的接受。盲目的崇拜权威，这样丧失了学习的积极性。
3.       3但是，每次在质疑之前，一定要自己好好思考，而不是随意的提出问题，随意的质疑。这样只会对其他人产生依赖心理。
4.      4 因此，要学会如何把握度。


Should ourstudents suspect what we have studied? I think almost everyone may agree withthis view. Our students should not just accept what our teacher teach us, weshould also question what we think is not right.
The function of education is to provide optimal conditionsfor the development of person as an integrated whole by means of fostering thehuman potentialities - physical, cognitive, psychological, artistic, emotionaland moral or spiritual (这段话是自己背的，所以总想用上,不知道到时会不会被判为雷同？？还有这样做第二段的开头合不合适？？). Skepticism, as one of the basic elements of personal quality, isalso the one that our education promoted. Skepticism is very important in ourlearning. For instance, if someone throws doubt upon some questions, he willspend more time on this question to find out whether it is right or not. Inthis process, he will have to look for many relative resources to find out theproof which can support his viewpoints. It will strengthen the understanding ofthis question. On the other hand, once he proposed a question, some others whodidn’t agree with his view may argue with him. Even if what he suspects is turnedout not true at the end of time, he can also strengthen his understanding ofthis question through the argument with others. Thus, it will benefit for ourlearning and understanding through the skepticism.（这段好像有点罗嗦？？）
But, now, a lotof students do not have the spirit of questioning. What they do is just blindworshipping the "authority". They should not accept what they are taught.Because that a lot of truth is following behind the suspects. For example,Bruno, one of the most famous thinkers of the world, claimed that the universeis infinite which ran counter to the convention of that day. Thought he was sentencedto death because of his opinion about the universe, his views had a profound impacton future generations.
It is can’t bedeny that questioning what he is taught randomly is not right. Some of thestudents just question some questions without cognitive thought. This will onlyproduce psychologically dependent on others.
In sum,skepticism is requested for every student. But how to balance the relationshipbetween accept and question is the most important thing that all of us shouldconsider.


楼主，你好。我昨天晚上在论坛里也看了一些关于列提纲的文章。看了之后觉得对自己的帮助挺大。这是我今天刚写出来的。有提纲，帮忙看一下。还有一些其他的提纲请也帮忙审一下。Issue130我明天在重新写一下。之后再请你指点一下。十分感谢楼主。


104"It is primarily through formal education that a culture tries to perpetuate the ideas it favors and discredit the ideas itfears."
1.      1 什么是正规教育？？？？对于不同国家，不同民族有不同的解释。主要是为了维护自己文化，剔除对自己不利部分的一个过程。对于政府来说，还有一个是维护自己统治。但是对于不同时期也不一样。例如，文化大革命，要抛弃一切旧的文化观念。但是现在我们又在提倡一种文化回归。提倡归属感。
2.      2 但是，站在全人类的角度上去看这个问题。我们应该是通过教育，保留文化中精华的东西，而剔除的应该是错误的部分，而不是对自己不利的部分。因为整个人类文化包含太多的东西。各种文化的存在一定是有它的存在的理由？？？？？？？？

106"All students should be required totake at least one course in ethics, even if taking the course means a decreasedemphasis on academic subjects."
1.       1教育的目的。主要有哪些方面。道德教育的重要性。为什么重要？？？关系社会的稳定，国家和民族的安稳。社会问题的出现部分是由于道德教育的失败。如在中国，频频出现的一些食品安全问题，一方面反映了中国质检部门的失职。更深层次的原因是由于人们的道德水平不高，反映了中国道德教育的失败。
2.     2  现在的教育制度忽视了道德教育的重要性，特别是中国，只是片面的追求学生对技能，对知识的掌握。应该加大道德教育的力度。可以从以下几个方面，在学校开设道德教育的课程，从小做起，防微杜渐。家长和社会的教育。家长是对小孩影响最大的人，所以家长的行为是小孩的模板，小孩会模仿大人。社会对小孩的影响也不可以忽视。
3.      3 因此，学校应该开设道德教育课程。家长和社会也应该注意。

112"Some educational systems emphasizethe development of students' capacity for reasoning and logical thinking, butstudents would benefit more from an education that also taught them to exploretheir own emotions."
1.       1逻辑和推理能力的重要性。有哪些？？如何展开？？？在一些学科中对逻辑和推理能力要求很高。对以后的科研工作很重要。比如，孟德尔，通过对大量数据的观察，推理和概括最终得到了遗传定律。Albert Einstein的相对论的提出也是经过严密的逻辑和推理而得出的。大量的科学事实都是很好的证据。
2.       2教育的目的。因此，认知自我情感也非常重要，现在很多孩子由于家庭或者是其他的原因，导致他们出现一些情感问题。及时的发现孩子的这些问题，并帮他们解决。将会对孩子的身心以及以后的发展有很大的帮助。一些犯罪问题的出现，部分是由于他们小的时候受到过某些不好方面的影响，使得他们的情感出现问题，进而影响他们的世界观价值观。
3.       3肯定

溪汐河UID: 2693863

lz，人真是太好了，我正着急没人能帮忙改改，我写的第一篇issue，写了但不知道自己这样能拿几分，当然这个只有ETS才能断定，呵呵，自己改过一遍小错误，想麻烦lz帮忙看看作文逻辑结构、是否偏题、例证上的不足等方面的错误，估计是漏洞百出，谢谢lz了！



TOPIC: ISSUE130 - "How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."


Children, one of the most crucial integral parts of the human beings, are always the centre of the attention of the whole society, not only because children is such that they needs constant care and protection, but also because time will make the salt of the society out of them.
       

Clearly, whoever is devoting his/her heart and soul to the future of the society, was bound to have went through his/her childhood, having received some education, more or less, so there is no denying that what kind of a future generation these children will become, determines what kind of a society they will create. Some maintain that the destiny of the future lies in the degree to which the children are socialized. Currently some children are still taught about some acknowledged virtues, such as fortitude, prudence and justice to fit into the society--the stage of life, while young as they are, some children's minds are polluted by some sorts of deadly sins, such as lust, avarice and vanity to edge themselves into the society through a nasty way ; however, it is often the case that it is at least as, if not more, easy for the children growing with negative guidance, as for those with a positive outlook of  the world, to be accepted by the society, that is, to be well "socialized". However, the future of the society, shaped by the "socialized" but evil generation, is inevitably gloomy. Therefore, whether how children are socialized facilitates the progress of the society or not, is up to how we define the word "socialized". Children who are truly socialized are trained for the positive part of the society and able to reform the negative part, and therefore work as the pillar of the society.



Admittedly, how children are socialized, to some extent, influences the construction of the society, but considerable knowledge, as the fundament of their thoughts; the optimistic philosophy of life, as the direction of their goals; and the social conscience, as the principles of their behaviors, etc., together master the destiny of the society. Even in some cases, whether a person is socialized makes little difference to one’s contributions to a society. Some maverick geniuses fail to communicate properly with others, and some of their perspectives are not well accepted by the society; however, the contributions they've made to the society are incomparable. Thus, it is little wonder that there appeared people, like Van Gogh and Thoreau, whose works were valueless in their time, while now their works are the most valuable treasures in the human history.



Therefore, the key to the bright future of the society is to raise children who can make contributions to the society, however socialized they are. It is true that there are still many flaws in the education system and in the education methods of parents. Commendably, the schools make measures to optimize the arrangement of the courses and reform the forms of admission exams. Moreover, though some stale ideas remain in their mind, parents attempt to improve education methods according to their own childhood experience. It is a progressing cycle from generation to generation. Besides, the children take part in part-time jobs, activities, and voluntary work to make up for what the schools and parents fail to teach to them. It is not uncommon to find their figures in the eco-friendly activities, technology creativity competitions, and beneficent campaigns. No one can deny that their effort accelerates the development of the society.



There is no flawless standard to judge the methods of education. What we can do is to keep facing in the right direction, improving the methods, cultivating everyone’s potential, and therefore children, as well as the rest of human beings are sure to bring about a brighter society.

czj521UID: 2869962

https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1133757-1-1.html 求拍砖 先谢谢了 九月一号我也要在武汉考

yinghui12UID: 2855397

Issue130
"How childrenare socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately,we have not yet learned how to raise childrenwho can help bring about a better society."
当今孩子如何被“社会化”决定了社会的命运。不幸的是，我们还没有学会如何培养孩子来帮助他们带来一个更好的社会。
第一句话陈述了一个事实，孩子决定社会命运。关键是如何被社会化。“不幸的是”转折到出题者想说的话。第二句，目的是如何帮助他们建立一个更好的社会，关键是还没找到合适培养的方式。
这样看的话，到后来还是一个如何教育的问题：如何教育孩子来帮助他们带来一个更好的社会。
1.
孩子决定了未来社会的命运。如何展开？？为什么说孩子决定社会的命运？？因为，孩子是未来社会的主人，他们的思想，他们的一举一动都会对社会产生很大的影响。（实在不知道怎么向下说了。有一些Issue中就是找到一些关键句后，但是就是不知道怎么扩展。而且也总觉得这样写很肤浅。请楼主在这方面给一些指点和建议。）
2.
既然孩子决定了社会的命运，怎样培养才能帮助他们建立一个更好的社会。从哪些方面培养？？当今社会的一些问题，如食品安全问题，反映出一些人的道德问题。还有环保问题，从小培养孩子的环保意识，则对环保问题的解决会有很大帮助。不同文化冲突问题，主要是精神文化上的冲突。增强人与人之间的了解，认识。并要有一定的包容心。因此应该提倡全面教育。全面教育，不仅包括学校教育，还包括家庭教育，社会教育。
3.
因此，要想帮助他们建立一个更好的社会，要让孩子接受全面教育。

ppjoyceUID: 2623631

58# janneth
20100805 第一篇

改好了 有问题再讨论：）

非常之有进步

ppjoyceUID: 2623631

62# yinghui12
20100805 第2篇

改好了

：）

ppjoyceUID: 2623631

63# 溪汐河

20100805 第3篇

刚本来想给你好好改的，看了就发现问题还是蛮多的
（况且你自己都说可能漏洞百出，靠自己先补补洞？）

能不能这样：
你自己先对着范文，多改几遍，
逻辑，思路什么的，自己都试着挑挑问题，
1来我怕误导你的思路，毕竟这是第一篇
2来我的精力也有限

等你改了几遍以后再拿给我吧？

ppjoyceUID: 2623631

64# czj521
20100805 第4篇

BTW： 我会很好的及时的给你回复邮件的

某人很喜欢回复邮件的：）

ppjoyceUID: 2623631

61# 1bueh17
回复在附件里面了

你看看咯：）

yaoxi28UID: 2864695

我的第二篇~望楼主赐教
题目：ISSUE51 - "Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student."
       
The speaker asserts that the courses in schools should be designed only according to the individual needs and interests of each student in order to acquire effective education. At the first glance, this claim seems to be plausible and appealing, and I agree insofar as it is necessary to take individual needs and interests into account. However, I tend to disagree this statement because it overstates the importance of individual choice. In my view, schools should consider more factors together with individual needs and interests when courses are designed.
       
To begin with, the speaker's assertion that the needs and interests of students should play a great role in education is quite compelling. As an old saying goes: Interest is the best teacher for studying. Whether one will achieve accomplish in a certain area depends primarily on if he is interested in it. Because of the interest of Edison in science, people can continue normal work and play at night ; owning to the interest of Flemming in medicine, penicillin are used extensively in treatment for diseases; thanks to the interest of Darwin in animals, we know the origin of human being. Above are how famous people pursue their career that corresponds with their interests, now let's turn to ordinary people like me, who am obsessed with English from children hood. It is the interest in English that promotes me to keep on reading English aloud every day, to read English newspaper every weekend, to concentrate on every English class and thus, to get high grades in English exams . As the cases illustrate, one will make more progress in the area that he or she truly likes.

Beyond this concession, however, I tend to disagree with the statement because it seems to be blind to the down sides of only thinking of the needs and interests of students. Firstly, is it feasibilities to design courses for the needs and interests of each student? I guess the answer is no. There are usually a multitude of students in a primary and secondary school, let alone in a university, but the number of professors is far less than that of students. Moreover, a single student may have lots of different interests, do you want to view the sight that a school whose faculty number is almost equal to the number of students owning to the varied courses the students choose? Or do you want to see fights from time to time as a result of contesting teachers and playing field of baseball which is, without doubt, the favorite of almost every boy in America? Thus, neither the faculties nor the facilities of a school can meet individual needs and interests of each student.
Secondly, even if there exist such a luxurious school that would satisfy all the students, it takes many people many years or even a whole life to ferret out what they like on earth. Moreover, the interests of students are changeable, especially in primary and middle schools. How do you guarantee that ever one can find out his or her interest and stick on it?
Thirdly, even if all students have a firm grasp of what they are excited about, the society will not survive, let alone develop because of the lack of some important professions which may interest none of a single student such as plumber and lumberjack.
In sum, although individual interests and needs do a lot to one’s success, however, it is not the unique factor that determines the effect of education. Only with comprehensive sense, can we make our education more effective and thus, our society more perfect.

MaydaysjUID: 2805242

楼主有时间再帮我指点下吧，附提纲~~几个地方有疑问标出来了，望指教~

TOPIC: ARGUMENT97 - The following appeared in a memo from the manager of television station KICK.

"A nationwide survey reveals that a sizeable majority of men would like to see additional sports programs on television. After television station WACK increased its sports broadcasts, its share of the television audience in its viewing area almost doubled. To gain a larger audience share in our area, and thus increase company profits, KICK should also revise its broadcast schedule to include more sports coverage."
DATE: 2010/8/5 9:00:08

提纲：
1 To begin with, the cited survey is unwarranted in term of its field and respondents.
2 There are many other factors which should be taken into account to get a thoroughly analysis of WACK's success. ①other popular programs that lead to more audience ② a more reasonable broadcast schedule
3 important distinctions of the two places should be checked carefully which may determine effects of the imitation ①audience structure & a sound broadcasting schedule ②competitors in market

The manager suggests more sports broadcast in order to increase company profits by citing a successful example of WACK and a nationwide survey, while ignores the following aspects 1) the reliability of the survey,2) others possible reasons of WACK's success,3)the distinctions of WACK and KICK.

To begin with, the cited survey is unwarranted in term of its field and respondents. A nationwide survey may not indicate that KICK has the some phenomenon. It's entirely possible that audience in KICK have different program preference because of their local characteristics. For example, in China, people in Hunan province are more likely to watch entertainment programs because of its popular program- Happy Camp (a popular TV show).(这个例子无说服力，但想不出更合适的) Furthermore, while the respondents of the survey are men, though a sizeable majority of them would like to see additional sports programs, it cannot illuminate all TV audience including women and children like sports programs. From common sense, we know women and children who are the majority of TV audience are more prefer soap opera and cartoon respectively other than sports.（也不好） Therefore, the nationwide survey of men's predilection in TV program cannot guarantee all KICK's audience would like sports programs.

Secondly, the manager rashly regard a correlation of more sports broadcast and doubled share of WACK as causality.（这句也觉得别扭可以换个什么说法呢？） There are many other factors which should be taken into account to get a thoroughly analysis of WACK's success. On one hand, no detailed information about the overall condition of the program broadcasting is provided, and it's entirely possible that it’s other popular programs that lead to more audience and increased profits. For example, maybe people are suffering from the financial crisis globally and WACK adds programs teaching people how to tight their belt which satisfy most audiences need. On the other hand, it’s possible that WACK has a more reasonable broadcast schedule which meets different audiences’ needs by broadcasting different programs at different time period. Without more information about the programs as a whole and their schedule arrangement, ascribing profit increasing to more sports broadcasting is unreasonable.

Last of all, referring to a successful example and national survey is not a failure, but important distinctions of the two places should be checked carefully which may determine effects of the imitation. Do they have similar audience structure where most people like sports broadcasting? Or does KICK have a sound broadcasting schedule which can meet different people’s need according to their watching time? How about the competitors in market? Does it possible that there is already enough sports broadcasting TV stations in KICK’s area while revise its broadcast schedule to include more sports coverage will make no advantage? The manager should carefully think of the questions above before a hastily imitation.

In sum, to effectively attract more audience and enhance profits, the television station KICK should conduct an investigation of local audience's preference and watching time to make a reasonable broadcasting schedule accordingly. Moreover, the manager should also consider reducing cost of TV program making to make more profit by effective management and reasonable staff arrangement.

ps:这是写的第六篇了，还是严重超时中，要一个多小时才写完，语言也还是相当贫乏⊙﹏⊙b汗，
还有一个月了，唉~速度去打字和学习范文去~

ppjoyceUID: 2623631

71# yaoxi28
我尽量晚上给你发过去吧

今天已经改了4篇了~~

ppjoyceUID: 2623631

72# Maydaysj
好的：）

我今天已经改了4篇了

尽量今天晚些时候给你改

yinghui12UID: 2855397

楼主，明天有时间的话帮我看看我重新写的Issue130。请多提一些建议。谢谢了。:)
我对这个题还有点把握不准的是，想让我们展开如何教育孩子使他们有一个更好的社会，还是想让我们说是否找到这种方法？？？
Issue130
"How childrenare socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately,we have not yet learned how to raise childrenwho can help bring about a better society."

Our children, asthe master of the future society, will decide the destiny of the future society,especially their behaviors and their thoughts. And what we teach them todaywill decide their thoughts and their behaviors. Thus, whether they can have abetter society is determined by the methods of our teaching. Our traditionaleducation which only emphasizes on the technology is not a good choose. Thus,we should find a new form of education. Fortunately, we have already found anew education to solve this question.

In fact, ourgovernment, like the other governments of the world, has already paid attentionto this question. Many countries promote a new system of education which can becalled “holistic education” in the last several years. It not only contains thetraditional education, but also includes the emotional education, moral education.The aim of the holistic education which is based on the best understanding of ourhuman nature or human personality is to bring a true peace and democracy societythrough the cultivation of person potentialities – physical, cognitive,emotional, psychological and moral or spiritual. Compare with our traditionaleducation, the holistic education emphasizes the balance development ofintellection, emotion and morals and the best understanding of our humannature. Because of the ignorance of our traditional education on morals andemotion, many social problems emerge at the current society. For instance, theculture collapse, which is most on the level of spirit culture, is just the misunderstandingof different culture, but it is also the misunderstanding of our human natureor human personality. If we can understand each other and can tolerantdifferent cultures, there will be no culture collapse, and our society will bemore peaceful. Isn’t it? Racial discrimination problems will also eliminate.
Though wepropose this better education which are putting into effect or will be put intoeffect, we don’t know whether it will be active or not. It all depends on howwell we will carry it out. Whether it will lead to some other social problemsor not, we don’t know, maybe only time can answer this question. But what I cansay is that we can bring our children a better society through our persistenceexertion.