【回报GTER】joyce的作文修改铺【13号打烊】

xdfwxUID: 2858018

104# ppjoyce
感谢！

kistellaringUID: 2874100

楼主~~~还有10天考了，还请多多指教啊~~


TOPIC: ISSUE153 - "Students should bring a certain skepticism to whatever they study. They should question what they are taught instead of accepting it passively."



The statement above indicates that students should be skeptical to whatever they are taught. I basically agree with this assertion, but over skepticism which means being suspicious about everything they receive should not be encouraged.

Skepticism is always a main spirit in doing scientific researches, which is earned by many great scientists. Only being skeptical can researchers get chances to deny old, wrong laws and then discover new theories. Galileo, which is used as examples in many aspects, is sure to be the best model of bringing skepticism. When all the people believed that things with greater weight to drop faster than lighter ones, Galileo showed his doubt and discovered the acceleration of gravity theory and proved Aristotle wrong by taking that famous experiment on the leaning tower of Pisa. Countless theories and technologies were discovered and then denied in the long history, resulting from large quantities of researchers' scientific spirit that mainly includes skepticism. This explains why our society is heading forward by a huge speed, and we shouldn't discard this valuable attitude.

We are destined to become mediocre if we don't have any question about what we are taught and accept everything passively, which exists universally in Chinese schools. Thanks to the form of Chinese education, only one undeniable answer corresponds to one certain question. Under this circumstance, teachers merely impart one method to solve problems and students are not allowed to think in another way, let alone being skeptical to the right answer. In comparison with America's education, Chinese students are less capable of thinking and doubting while American children always think of various possibilities meeting up with problems. Thus, it is quite easy to explain why Chinese scientific development falls so much behind United States.

However, we shouldn't question everything without thinking about validity properly. Some truths, for instance, are undeniable, like addition in mathematics, laws of conservation of mass, and so on, and we have to accept some knowledge passively to some extent especially in primary education. If one wants to question a certain theory in high-level disciplines such as quantum theory, he won't provide appropriate explanations unless he has mastered the whole theory system of modern physics, which can't be learned by sorely skepticism. Therefore, we do have to receive something passively, and in that case do we have the ability to bring skepticism to theories having existed.

Turning to the relationship between being skeptical and accepting passively, I believe that we have to think about what we are learning and then make a choice. Not everything is worth questioning, and not everything should be received passively. Every day, we receive great amount of information from friends, teachers, Internet, TV, etc. We should earn the capability to tell whether it is receivable or can be discarded, and this still comes to the purpose of modern education. When educators impart knowledge to students, they have the responsibilities to teach them how to choose information, and the time students have obtained the ability, they will understand what is worth questioning.

In sum, being skeptical to what we study is a necessary spirit which can promote social progress. However, we can't bring an attitude of over skepticism and what we really have to learn is making a proper choice between accepting and doubting.

yaoxi28UID: 2864695

汗，弄了半天我还是不知道怎么插入附件。。。
楼主请看我照你的意见修改后的作文，还有两个问题~麻烦解答下~谢~
ISSUE51 - "Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student."
蓝色为改过内容
The speaker asserts that the only way to provide effective education is to design the courses specifically according to the individual needs and interests of each student.
（这句重复的不好，要改进，我觉得这个开头的第一句不太好）
The statement may have merits to some extent, primarily because it points out the significance of taking individual needs and interests into account. Yet, it overstates the importance of individual choice. As a result, schools should consider more factors together with individual needs and interests when courses are designed.
（这个开头好啰嗦，不好意思 我话说重了，一定要删减）
开头思路还算中规中矩，以上红色标出的是提醒你，说话要客观，in my view让我觉得你过于主观
        
To begin with, the speaker's assertion that the needs and interests of students should play a great role in education is quite compelling. As an old saying goes: Interest is the best teacher for studying. Whether one will achieve accomplish in a certain area depends primarily on if he is interested in it. Take Steve Jobs for example, who is CEO of Apple Computer and of Pixar Animation Studios. He dropped out from Reed College in his twenties and just for interest he dropped in a calligraphy class, which contributed a lot in the designing of his first Mic, also the first computer with beautiful typography. Ten years later, he got fired by Apple, but thanks to the intense love of him for computer which had not changed one bit, he started over by founding Pixar, the creator of the world’s first computer animated feature film. As the case illustrate, it is interest that help Steve Jobs succeed and make a comeback after failure. If he continued his college and stepped into a career that he didn’t really love, he might not be successful as he is and we might not have the chance to appreciate one after another new products from Apple.

你是想说play a great role 但是我还是觉得重要性没有显现出来~有点模糊。这时候你就要把下面这句话和上面的结合起来，Whether one will achieve accomplish in a certain area depends primarily on if he is interested in it.
再说成功，建议你可以查查Steve Jobs。他一开始并不是觉得calligraphy有用才学的，而是因为兴趣，但后来他的兴趣让他很成功….
你自己的例子也过于浅了 试着说深一点
(感谢楼主的Steve Jobs, 我一直都不太知道上哪去找例子，自己的知识面也不是很宽，楼主能否介绍些经验？)

Beyond this concession, however, I tend to （客观）disagree with the statement because it seems to be blind to the down sides of only thinking of the needs and interests of students.
开始讨论可行性了，：）
Firstly, is it feasibilities to design courses for the needs and interests of each student? I guess the answer is no.（别太随意啦 这是Issue） There are usually a multitude of students in a primary and secondary school, let alone in a university, but the number of professors is far less than that of students. Moreover, a single student may have lots of different interests. Whereas few, if any schools can afford the expense for so many teachers and facilities.
（直接切入可能更好）
Or do you want to see fights from time to time as a result of contesting teachers and playing field of baseball which is, without doubt, the favorite of almost every boy in America? Thus, neither the faculties nor the facilities of a school can meet individual needs and interests of each student.

Secondly, even if there exist such a luxurious school that would satisfy all the students, it takes many people many years or even a whole life to ferret out what they like on earth. Moreover, the interests of students are changeable, especially in primary and middle schools. How do you guarantee that ever one can find out his or her interest and stick on it?

Thirdly, even if all students have a firm grasp of what they are excited about, the society will not survive, let alone develop because of the lack of some important professions which may interest none of a single student such as plumber and lumberjack.
（个人觉得上面的说啰嗦了，你应该强调题目中的，specifically~这个的不可行性）
(这里我还是有点儿疑问，这篇文章重点应该放在“only”上谈个性教育的优缺点还是应该放在“specifically”上谈可行性？)
非常感谢楼主指出我那么多的问题，期待您的回复~
In sum, although individual interests and needs do a lot to one’s success, however, it is not the unique factor that determines the effect of education. Only with comprehensive sense, can we make our education more effective and thus, our society more perfect.

纠结帝UID: 2755596

多谢楼主，马上就要考了，限时还是写不完啊，慌~

TOPIC: ARGUMENT224 - The following appeared in a corporate planning memo at ABC Cereal Company, the makers of Better Bran cereal.
"Sales of Better Bran have declined in recent years, for reasons that management has now identified. First, Better Bran is a cereal with high sugar content, and recent research studies have found that most consumers say they are concerned about the amount of sugar added to their breakfast cereal. Second, the price of Better Bran has increased by 5 percent in each of the last three years. Therefore, to increase our company's profits we need to reduce the amount of sugar in Better Bran and lower Better Bran's price."
WORDS: 454          TIME: 00:30:00          DATE: 2010-8-7 17:33:12
1、调查结果有问题，以偏概全
2、早餐以外的谷物未必要低糖
3、涨价，但没考虑人们的收入是否上升
4、就算降糖降价也未必能提高公司的利润

In this memo, the arguer recommend the ABC cereal company to cut back on the amount of sugar and the price of Better Bran (BB) in order to increase their company's profits. To support his recommendation, he cites a recent research showing that consumers are interested in low-sugar breakfast cereal and points out the continuous increase in BB's price. However, a careful scrutiny will reveal several fatal flaws in its evidence and reasoning.

To begin with, the result of the research is highly doubt for several reasons. First, no evidence is sufficient to prove that the consumers included in the research are large in number or are representatives of all the customers of BB. Other consumers, unlike the respondents in the research, are quite interested in high-sugar cereal like BB. Second, even admitting that they claim to prefer low-sugar breakfast cereal, it does not necessarily means that they will give up high-sugar cereal. It may just be their wish rather than practice.

Moreover, even though the research is reliable to some extent, the correlation between consumers preference for low-sugar cereal and the decrease of BB's sales does necessarily infers a causal relationship. From the research we learn that consumers do not put restrictions on their afternoon tea cereal or any other . Therefore, no solid evidence indicates that BB is less popular among consumers for it contains more sugar.

Besides, the arguer rests his conclusion on the unsubstantiated assumption that the continuous increase in the price is definitely responsible for the reduction the sales of BB. However, the actual state may be different. Perhaps the cost of producing BB has risen in the past three years that force BB to raise its price, or there will be few profit left. Moreover, the income of the local residents may have also increased. If there was a yearly 10 percent increase in people's average income in the past three years, then the 5 percent increase in BB's price, compared to that in people's income, does not matter in people's life. After all, the argument does not mention the complaint of the price from consumers, which may indicate that the price is still reasonable of them

In addition, the arguer unfairly asserts that the ABC Cereal Company will rise once reducing the amount of sugar and lowering the price of BB. Yet the arguer fails to consider and rule out other possibilities. As has been discussed above, the amount of sugar and the rise in the price is perhaps not the decisive factor in BB's sales. What is more, the final profit of a product result from a series of factors including competition, expenses, marketing, management and even entrepreneur ideas. Maybe focusing more on advertising and promoting his product or creating new kinds of cereals to appeal to the consumers is a better way to improve the profits. Without looking into such possibilities and other alternatives, the arguer's recommendation is at best premature.

To sum up, not providing convincing evidence and reasons, the argument is not well-supported. The arguer should conduct further survey among consumers to get hold of their favorite products to substantiate his assumption. To better evaluate this recommendation, careful analysis of the income and the cost should also be taken into consideration.

jannethUID: 2769502

还有两天就考了，一休完全没感觉啊，严重超时，疯了～LZ帮忙看看吧～谢谢了
TOPIC: ISSUE143 - "Artists should pay little attention to their critics.* Criticism tends to undermine and constrain the artist's creativity."
 
*those who evaluate works of art, such as novels, films, music, paintings, etc.
WORDS: 625         TIME: 00:60:00         DATE: 2010-8-7 1:46:13
 
The speaker asserts that the criticism would be harmful to the creativity of art. It might be reasonable for the exceeding criticism sometimes. Nonetheless, the artists have a powerful and unconstrained style , when they create art, at this time ,the criticism play a significant role for the art and for the admirers.
 
There is no denying that the exaggerated criticism would have a tremendous pressure to the artists, and then affecting the creating. Every one is not a independent individual, no matter the artists or the ordinary citizens, all play a role in the society. And for this society, individuals have close relationship with each other, regardless your own desire, would be frequently affected by other people more or less. More than others, by the development of the technology, and the freedom of speech, more and more people express their opposite ideas by the internet, television, video, and so forth. Actually, some of the criticism and question, are not object or based on the practice, the individuals are only adapt this opportunity to take out their dissatisfaction, it is entirely possible that they have not known who he is, when they criticize the person together, this case is more serious for artists.
 
Art is a place fulling of unusual but wonderful thinking, it is not surprising that the individuals could not understand it or have distinguished viewpoints with the artists. When the artists are thick with the criticism and questioning, what will they consider? Admittedly, some of the artists will be themselves, in fact, most of the artists will be influenced by the criticism, or even changing their mind entirely to chase the agreement and losing themselves. For this kind of criticism would destroy the creativity of the arts. Losing the creativity and characters of the art will mean nothing.
 
Certainly, the criticism is not merely harmful and restrained to art, object and accurate criticism  also provide the motivation and flash blood to the article field At first, just imaging when the criticism disappears  from the article field, how will the art get? It means there is no person really understand the art, only real understanding the critics have, they will give suggestion for the art,including the content, artifice, hue and so forth, at this time, the object criticism is equal with suggestion. With the criticism, the artists could recognize the limitation and flaw, and then correct them, it is the step of the development. The artists will have a improvement on the criticism.
 
The importance of the criticism is not limited to the art work, it could help ordinary citizens to understand the art. By the limiting of the knowledge, background, ideas, some of the citizens could not really understand the inner mind of the art work, for this matter, on the basis of the criticism and concrete analysis, the citizens could enjoy the art. The role of the critic sometimes like the commentator of basketball, when we watch the NBA, some commentators analyze the game for us to better watching and understanding, although they might criticize some teams or some players, but it bases on the practice, and help us to think what is the competition and how the players perform, this procedure could make us step into the basketball world, and the same to art. Enjoying is not equal with agreement, the correct criticism also improve the art and the artists and turn the admirers into inner mind.
 
Looking back the history, the object and accurate criticism improves the development frequently, not matter the article field or other academic field. Refusing the criticism primitively could not make the art better, for different artists and distinguished criticism, in my viewpoint, the artists could artist themselves while absorbing some reasonable and object criticism.

ppjoyceUID: 2623631

110# janneth
看你马上要考了
要加油：）
我帮你看看
我晚上有点忙，仅限逻辑上的
和一些备考前要做的准备

从这篇文章上来看，例子不够多，论述方面更多一些，其实例子方面还可以加强
逻辑上面日臻成熟，不过如果要仔细挑问题的话，还是有一些的
不得不承认，艺术方面的题，比较难以下手
这篇文章的有些地方还是说啰嗦了
有不相干的话出现　不过整体看起来还不错

按我的经验，考前
你现在就是看看高频题
偶尔练下手
多看看例子和表达
稳住发挥
打字的时候注意正确率

ＰＳ：　考前看看考场，熟悉环境，不要怯场：）　
考试加油哦：）

yinghui12UID: 2855397

105# ppjoyce 谢谢楼主对我的帮助与鼓励，特别是让我学会了如何正确审题。:)，其实我也发现了，我写ISSUE觉得很难，主要是因为缺少一些例子，为了凑字数，不得不绞尽脑汁想一些句子拼凑。这几天我也在练习审题列提纲，但是由于平时素材积累不够，有些题目很难找到一些合适的例子。以后也请楼主在这方面多多指教。

ppjoyceUID: 2623631

105# ppjoyce 谢谢楼主对我的帮助与鼓励，特别是让我学会了如何正确审题。:)，其实我也发现了，我写ISSUE觉得很难，主要是因为缺少一些例子，为了凑字数，不得不绞尽脑汁想一些句子拼凑。这几天我也在练习审题列提纲 ...
yinghui12 发表于 2010-8-7 22:33

呵呵 不谢不谢：）
例子慢慢积累，
不要过于泛了
一个例子要从多方面，多角度来看
而且还要尽量多了解

这样的话 一个例子的用途就多了：）

加油加油

yinghui12UID: 2855397

113# ppjoyce 谢谢楼主。我还想问一下，如果没有真实的例子，举一些假设行不行？？

1bueh17UID: 2681271

啊，谢谢楼主！！！！！
你的这次点评让我收获巨大！！！！
真的巨大巨大！！！
再次感谢~同志们~楼主好人啊！！

jannethUID: 2769502

谢谢楼主了，这几天就狂看了， 今天狂写3篇I， 3篇A，疯了都，呵呵，后天去看考场，希望能有好的结果～
也希望LZ之后的考试能顺利， 大家一起加油哈～
考完后向大家汇报经验哈～

czj521UID: 2869962

51"Education will be truly effectiveonly when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs andinterests of each student."
提纲：1. 个性化教育确实挖掘学生潜力
     2. 但由于教育资源有限，个性化教学可行性不够
      3. 就算教学资源足够，传统的教学有助于让学生掌握基础知识，是必不可少的。过分强调给兴化教育会导致基础知识掌握不牢，从而导致无法学习更深层次的课程。


I agree insofar with the author'sstatement. In my point of view, while the schools should try their best tooffer more choices and autonomy to meet the individual needs and interest ofevery student, conventional general education is still necessary.


Admittedly, an educational system inaccordance with the students' aptitude can help them to fully develop theirdistinct potential and talent. Just as John Comenius, the pioneer of moderneducation, once pointed out in the book The Great Didactic that, "somestudents are smart, some are slow, some are docile, some are stubborn, somelike to gain knowledge and some prefer to learning skills", teachingmethod should be carried out according to the particular circumstance ofindividual. Students will be actively engaged in study when learning whatinterest them, or what seem to be apparent help to their future careers. Incontrast, if a student is forced to learn something that cannot contribute tohis career and he is not interested in, whether he can learn well is open todoubt. Knowing well about this, most universities in the world provideelectives so that each student can pursue his own career that he is interestedin. Since there always be a large amount of electives and some of them are notrelated, it is neither necessary nor possible for a student to choose allelectives. In my department, for example, there are 42 electives we can choosefrom. It could hardly imagine how we can complete our school work if all theelectives are required courses. As far as I am concerned, this pedagogy hasbeen demonstrated effective for it has fostered many outstanding people like BillGates, Chen Ning Yang, Tsung-Dao Lee and so on. In addition, in ancient China, theeducation principle of teaching students according to their aptitude had beenmentioned by Confucius in the Spring and Autumn Period. Among his 3000students, there were 72 students became elites who had made significantcontribution to the society and most of others became successful and benefitedsociety as well. Consequently, we can see specially designed education iseffective.


Nevertheless, although I take for granted that the specifically designed education is more effective to some extent, Ihave to say it is not available for all individual students to be offered a unique education designed to meet their interests and needs. Compared to the large population of students, the education sources seem limited or even scant.Actually, as a result of the rapidly growing population, many people receive noor inferior education with today's methods of learning. Just consider the factthat even in highly developed countries, schools cannot handle theever-increasing number of students in their present mode, we can know how poorthe feasibility of the specially designed education is.


Moreover, even assuming that educationalresources are abundant, traditional general education is indispensable. As thepurpose of the education, in my opinion, is to cultivate all-around students,there are some basic knowledge like that is needed to be learned by everystudent. Though this knowledge seems boring and useless, it is really vital andis the base of further learning. Too much emphasis on specially designededucation may lead to students' ignorance of this basic knowledge. Without mastering the basic knowledge, thestudents will find it hard to learn some further courses even if he isinterested in them. Similarly, complete liberty in designing education for eachstudent may contribute to the phenomenon that since many students don't knowwhat courses they are interested in and what courses is necessary for them,they may just choose some easy and interesting subjects instead of somedifficult but important ones. This can hinder the development of the society, forit demands various graduates with different skills.


In sum, as proper liberty in designingeducation for every student can be effective, we should try our best to lend more choices and autonomy to meet the individual needs and interest of each student while considering the feasibility of the specially designed education.Meanwhile, we should be aware of the vital importance of traditional general education and the fact that too much emphasis on the specially designededucation may cause negative effects.

ppjoyceUID: 2623631

94# Maydaysj
我回复啦：） 你看看

ppjoyceUID: 2623631

114# yinghui12
可以假设的
不过建议你自己研究下范文
看看别人的假设是在什么程度上的：）

ppjoyceUID: 2623631

115# 1bueh17
:loveliness: