1010G零散版友作文互改帖（Issue）

hi_logiUID: 2296117

我的还没人改....麻烦楼下....

anniehalUID: 2716032

我的还没人改....麻烦楼下....
hi_logi 发表于 2010-8-3 20:26

不好意思啊，你也没给别人改吧。。
大家看一楼的规则哦。。

雨馨UID: 2765070

我先认领210L啦

TOPIC: ISSUE208 - "The way people look, dress, and act reveals their attitudes and interests. You can tell much about a society's ideas and values by observing the appearance and behavior of its people."
WORDS: 317-535          TIME: 00:30:21          DATE: 2010-8-2 11:29:19

This is nowhere truer than the assertion that the way people look, dress and act can more or less tell some about their attitudes and interests. However, with the process of globalization, the distinguished differences are fading. And now it has become difficult to grasp the society's values by observing the appearance, while the different ideas reflected by people’s behavior still remains.

In the past, the dress and behavior of people are able to reflect a lot of information about its society. Due to the undeveloped public transportation, it was quite difficult for individuals to communicate with others who live in other continent. And the culture and value of one society was isolated, which enable each country to develop its own unique clothes style and behavior customs according to their special ideas and values. Take ancient Chinese girls as an example. They mostly wore Qipao, a kind of dress which tightly covered almost all the body, while aptly showed their feminine figure at the same time. Besides, girls never dared to resist the willingness of their dad or husband. Therefore the way they act and dress clearly reveals the Chinese society's value at that time that girls should be conservative and subordinate to the men. Hence, the external look of individuals in the ancient time is able to reveal the main idea and value of a society.

However, with the development of globalization, the communication and information exchange has become more and more frequent. At the same time, the used to be distinguished [是不是加连字符used-to-be-distinguished更能表达意思？] dress style is not that obvious any longer. Most people around world, no matter in Asia or Europe, dress T-shirt in summer. Even people from some African tribes also dress like us. So what can we tell from the almost same appearance? I think the answer is nothing. Therefore, in my point of view, with the assimilation brought by the globalization, the ways we dress cannot tell much about the values of society any more.

Meanwhile, the difference of the behavior among each country still remains, which can provide certain information about one society. In Japan, people get used to bow when they apologize. This phenomenon is only unique in Japan, which somehow reveals the main value of the society that is being humble when you make mistakes and respecting others sincerely. In United States, most cars will stop for the walking pedestrian, which reflects the idea of American society that humane right is always the first priority. In China, we have the traditional value of respecting the olds. Even flooded with the western idea, we still burden the responsibility of rearing the elder family members. All these different behaviors can more or less infer the values and ideas about one society.

From the discussion above, we can easily come to the conclusion that in the ancient time, the distinguished appearance and behavior of people are able to reveals the unique values and ideas of their country. However, nowadays the difference of appearance is fading away; therefore it is difficult to tell society’s value merely by observing citizen’s appearances. Whilst, the way contemporary people act can still lend us a helping hand when we want to grasp the idea of one society.

总体感觉此篇水平很高，非常流畅，几乎没有什么需要修改的语法问题（也可能是我水平较低，但我的确不是分析成分派的，我觉得看上去流畅能达意就好）
至于观点而言，应该来说非常讨巧，避免了外在-内在的问题，而把appearance和behavior分开讨论，这样appearance以前可以，现在不行，behavior都还可以，就可以有三段，也有充分的事例来完善篇幅。虽然立意比较浅，但是还是切在issue本身，很能自圆其说，也能体现一定的思考。
我觉得这是非常好的应战作文~

如果anniehal姑娘（是姑娘吧）是来求拍砖的难免要失望了……可是我真的还蛮欣赏这样的，虽然同样的题目我会着意论证外在-内在的关系，但这样也挺好~

个人意见，欢迎讨论^^

雨馨UID: 2765070

TOPIC: ISSUE147 - "Tradition and modernization are incompatible. One must choose between them."
WORDS: 580          TIME: 00:33:39          DATE: 2010-8-4 15:19:27

When one walks along the Bund in Shanghai, enjoying the 19 century buildings on the west bank and the Oriental Pearl TV Tower and other modern mansions on the east bank, he or she would definitely agree that there are times that tradition and modernization come together.

Tradition and modernization are not about the technology but about the culture and the society. To that extent, one can see harmonious combinations of both sides everywhere. The Louvre Museum, for example, consists of the ancient buildings and the modern glass pyramid thus revealing that traditional art and modern art could come so close to each other. In the church, people sing hymns whose lyrics are from the Old Testament and melodies are from the pop music. Nevertheless, in big families, the grandparents, the parents and their children, who represent different times, can always sit and chat happily together. Though children in this generation are modernized with computer technology and online communities while their grandparents are rather traditional and prefer face-to-face communications, they can still find ways to communicate, to understand and to learn from each other. How could one ignore those facts and regard tradition and modernization as incompatible elements?

The blend of tradition and modernization is not only shown in isolated cases, but in all the people's life routines. Everyone is born in a relatively traditional family and be educated in that environment. Due to the early experiences, there would be many traditional hallmarks that he or she can hardly get rid of like the language, moral and ethical principles, his or her view of the world and so on. However, when he or she grows up, a relatively modern society is formed compared to the early years. He or she would have to face a world of many more electronic devices and get familiar with a faster life speed and the higher overall pressure. Therefore, there is a compromise in everyone's life between the traditional thoughts from the education and the modern thoughts from the working places so that almost everyone is a live example of tradition and modernization.

Moreover, if we move from the personal field to a more general field, we would see both tradition and modernization do not have clear definitions. The definition of traditional and modernization is changing as the whole world is going through a continuous development. Classical music was surely a modern thing back in to the middle century. Both the so called "traditional" and "modern" things are just the explanation and presentation of the different eras. As long as the humanity does not change, tradition and modernization differs only the outer forms of the culture and the society. Therefore, they are quite the same when one looks deeper. Ode to Joy expresses the feeling of joy as many pop songs would do. The stone pyramids built in ancient Egypt and the glass pyramid standing in the middle of the Louvre Museum shows the same beauty of the proportion. The media varies from newspaper to radio, TV, the Internet, but the main task of those remains to express the news. In that view, tradition and modernization are connected in their inner qualities.

To sum up, tradition and modernization are not two isolated life style to choose from. Instead, they are closely linked to each other in everyone's lives and in the river of history. One shall not choose one and give up the other, but try to understand both sides and combine them together.

ljz1990UID: 2837432

抱走214~嘿嘿雨馨啊。。。。。咱一回生二回熟哈~

TOPIC: ISSUE147 - "Tradition and modernization are incompatible. One must choose between them."
WORDS: 580          TIME: 00:33:39          DATE: 2010-8-4 15:19:27

When one walks along the Bund in Shanghai, enjoying the 19 century buildings on the west bank and the Oriental Pearl TV Tower and other modern mansions on the east bank, he or she would definitely agree that there are times that tradition and modernization come together.开头挺新哈

Tradition and modernization are not about the technology but about the culture and the society. （传统与现代涉及的是文化和社会但不是科技？有点混乱啊，你的意思是他们的交融主要是在文化和社会方面吧？还有社会是包括文化和科技的，怎么和culture平行呢。）To that extent, one can see harmonious combinations of both sides everywhere. The Louvre Museum, for example, consists of the ancient buildings and the modern glass pyramid thus（额，thus去掉会不会好一点~） revealing that traditional art and modern art could come so close to each other. In the church, people sing hymns whose（of which） lyrics are from the Old Testament and melodies are from the pop music. Nevertheless(额，nevertheless不是转折么，你这里应该是顺承吧), in big families, the grandparents, the parents and their children, who represent different times, can always sit and chat happily together. Though children in this generation are modernized with computer technology and online communities while their grandparents are rather traditional and prefer face-to-face communications, they can still find ways to communicate, to understand and to learn from each other. How could one ignore those facts and regard tradition and modernization as incompatible elements?

The blend（Symphony突然冒出来，呵呵，blend挺好） of tradition and modernization is not only shown in isolated cases, but in all the people's life routines. Everyone is born in a relatively traditional family and be educated in that environment. Due to the early experiences, there would be many traditional hallmarks that he or she can hardly get rid of like the language, moral and ethical principles, his or her view of the world and so on. However, when he or she grows up, a relatively modern society is formed compared to the early years. He or she would have to face a world of many more electronic devices and get familiar with a faster life speed and the higher overall pressure. Therefore, there is a compromise in everyone's life between the traditional thoughts from the education and the modern thoughts from the working places so that almost everyone is a live example of tradition and modernization. (恩，这段说的非常好，但是会不会有点和前面一段重复。前面也讲了唱诗班和家庭的例子，这也算是life routines吧。要不你前面把家庭的例子换成传统节日比如说春节啊圣诞节啊，虽然是传统的，但是在现代社会中这些传统节日有非同一般的意义……)

Moreover, if we move from the personal field to a more general field, we would see both tradition and modernization do not have clear definitions. The definition of traditional and modernization is changing as the whole world is going through a continuous development. Classical music was surely a modern thing back in to the middle century. Both the so called "traditional" and "modern" things are just the explanation and presentation of the different eras. As long as the humanity does not change, tradition and modernization differs only the outer forms of the culture and the society. Therefore, they are quite the same when one looks deeper. Ode to Joy expresses the feeling of joy as many pop songs would do. The stone pyramids built in ancient Egypt and the glass pyramid standing in the middle of the Louvre Museum shows the same beauty of the proportion. The media varies from newspaper to radio, TV, the Internet, but the main task of those remains to express the news. In that view, tradition and modernization are connected in their inner qualities.

To sum up, tradition and modernization are not two isolated life style to choose from（可以选择的生活方式？额，有点怪啊~）. Instead, they are closely linked to each other in everyone's lives and in the river of history. One shall not choose one and give up the other, but try to understand both sides and combine them together.


恩，整篇文章思路非常清晰，例子用的很好，最主要是说明的好，也让我学习了一番啊。不过，你一直都是从正面来说，虽然分了三点，一个是文化方面，一个是个人成长经历，一个是传统和现代实质上是一码事，通篇读下来好像在反复说一个事情（额，其实这是好事），但是多少有点单调，或许可以在哪个段里面先做个小让步，稍微有点变化。额，个人意见，水平不够，请多包含~~~

ljz1990UID: 2837432

TOPIC: ISSUE120 - "So much is new and complex today that looking back for an understanding of the past provides little guidance for living in the present."
WORDS: 653
TIME: 00:41:45
DATE: 2010-08-03 23:54:18

Internet, hybrid rice, intelligent robot, space shuttle......With high speeding technology development nowadays, we become more and more advanced, depart further and further from the past when we had no computers no phones no televisions and even no electricity. It seems that the past could no longer guide us moving ahead. While is it really the case?

British historian Arnold Toynbee once said, any history is contemporary, which could be somewhat extreme. While even granted that today is brand new, there still lies a great many essential similarities between past and now, such as the basic laws of human development. For instance, when America struggling in the bog of Vietnam War, the then president Nixon said, just like the Sun Tzu ever put it, no country could prosper when involved in a protracted war. (Sun Tzu is an ancient Chinese military strategist in the Spring and Autumn.) From the president's words we could find that even America in Vietnam differed from the Spring and Autumn in various aspects, there still exist some truth which could apply to most situations regardless of nationalities, no matter it is in the Spring and Autumn 2500 years ago, America in the Vietnam War, or even today. We can see that even history stayed there in the past, it still has it unique merit.

Thus it is clear that study and analysis of the past could help us in making right decisions in different fields. If we liken the past as a route we once went through, then we could still follow it if the route successfully got us to our destination; while on the contrary, we would find a new one. To clarify, for the individuals, fact that Socrates once debated in the public places about various issues involving friendship art politic and war with all kinds of people teach us that only with the spirit of criticize can we learn the truth. While in the military affairs, strategies stated by the ancient Sun Tzu in his masterpiece the Art of War could still be widely employed in the strategy making today. When we come to the society, we could obtain a lot from Li Shimin, one of the emperors of ancient Tang Dynasty, who put forward series policy and eventually boomed the country to the period of Zhenguan, a time of glorious prosperity. And it is also the same when we move on to a wider theme such as education economy agriculture and so on.

Nevertheless, before applying the past to today, we must be well aware of the circumstances around today. Pollution, nuclear weapons, AIDS etc Many items like that didn't come into being until very late in the human development, and moreover, the ideology of people and society is changing all the time, we cannot expect history to give a satisfying answer to each question. It could be well explained when we look into the case of Chinese women. In the past, the status of Chinese women is very inferior. They had no access to education and must obey their husbands absolutely in any circumstances, and they could even not grin because it would be considered as rude to let others see their teeth. While if you ask women now in China to follow the standard there could possibly come out a feminist movement. And in a similar way for the legislation of lesbians, we don't know whether it appeared in the past but at least now, we almost get no records stating this problem, then it is impossible for us to work out a good plan according to the past. In short, we could learn from the past, but not rely on it.

Confucius once said, “review and learn anew”, means that we could get new knowledge from what we already learned. And so it is for the history. When we look back in the past, there is always a time and place for us to find something worth for today. While one more thing we must keep in mind is that today is not a simply replica of the past.

anniehalUID: 2716032

zhan

TOPIC: ISSUE120 - "So much is new and complex today that looking back for an understanding of the past provides little guidance for living in the present."
WORDS: 653
TIME: 00:41:45
DATE: 2010-08-03 23:54:18

Internet, hybrid rice, intelligent robot, space shuttle......（这种开头在论述文里不购正式吧，我从来没看过哪篇论文是这样开头的。。。）With high speeding technology development nowadays, we become more and more advanced（人先进？）, depart further and further from the past when we had no computers，no phones no televisions and even no electricity. It seems that the past could no longer guide us moving ahead. While is it really the case?建议直接引出观点，你前面3行都是在铺垫，都点太多了，毕竟不是你的观点。还有，不建议这样含蓄的表达观点，外国人很直来直去的，他没那脑子跟你绕。。


British historian Arnold Toynbee once said“any history is contemporary”， which could be somewhat extreme. While even granted that today is brand new, there still lies a great many essential similarities between past and now, such as the basic laws of human development. For instance, when America was struggling in the bog of Vietnam War, the then（？？？） president Nixon said, just like the Sun Tzu ever put it, no country could prosper when involved in a protracted war. (Sun Tzu is an ancient Chinese military strategist in the Spring and Autumn.) From the president's words we could find that even America in Vietnam differed from the Spring and Autumn in various aspects, there still exist some truth which could apply to most situations regardless of nationalities,（这个不建议加，突出时间不同就好了，不然会distract the main point） no matter it is in the Spring and Autumn 2500 years ago, America in the Vietnam War, or even today. We can see that even history stayed there in the past, it still has it unique merit.那个例子，最好不要绕在一起讲，语句的表述上换下位置。直白点，过去怎么怎么样，这个理论也被用在了越南战争。这样看起来会清楚些。然后，强调文章的主旨，其他没有意义的小观点，即使是正确的，不建议写在文章中。

Thus it is clear that study and analysis of the past could help us in making right decisions in different fields. If we liken（没这样用的巴，你查查？） the past as a route we once went through, then we could still follow it if the route successfully got us to our destination; （这句有点啰嗦）while on the contrary, we would find a new one. （我觉得这里有点表述不清）To clarify, for the individuals, fact that Socrates once debated in the public places about various issues involving friendship art politic and war （并列的一定要加逗号的）with all kinds of people teach us that only with the spirit of criticize can we learn the truth.（太长，建议短句，我觉得外国人肯定看不懂这句，他们没有中文思维的） While in the military affairs, strategies stated by the ancient Sun Tzu in his masterpiece ，the Art of War， could still be widely employed in making the war strategy today. When we come to the society（when it comes to the development of society）, we could obtain a lot of suggestion from Li Shimin’s achievement. He was one of the emperors of ancient Tang Dynasty, who put forward series policy and eventually boomed the country to the period of Zhenguan,(经量少出现这一类的名次，外国人不知道，你就要解释，然而这些解释根本不服务主旨，就觉得多余了) a time of glorious prosperity. And it is also the same when we move on to a wider theme（scale） such as education economy agriculture and so on.
如果如同你首句说的，了解过去是不帮助我们不犯错误，那李的例子不大恰当，他是给了我们建议。这一段应该突出强调与上一段不同的方面，否则感觉上两端在相互重复。
Nevertheless, before applying the past experience to today( the present), we must be well aware of the circumstances around today( different circumstance of the contemporary world) . Pollution, nuclear weapons, AIDS etc Many(干吗大写。。) items like that didn't come into being（？）
until very late in the human development,lately. And moreover, the ideology of people and society is changing all the time, we cannot expect history to give a satisfying answer to each question. It could be well explained when we look into the case of Chinese women. In the past, the status of Chinese women is very inferior. They had no access to education and must obey their husbands absolutely in any circumstances, and they could even not grin because it would be considered as rude to let others see their teeth. (建议删除，这句没起到补充说明inferior的作用)While if you ask women now in China to follow the standard， there could possibly come out a feminist movement. And in a similar way for the legislation of lesbians（这个从前也没讨论过拉拉的合法性，无比较可言）, we don't know whether it appeared in the past but at least now, we almost（逗号不能连接两个句子） get no records stating this problem, then it is impossible for us to work out a good plan according to the past. In short, we could learn from the past, but not rely on it.

Confucius once said, “review and learn anew？”, means that we could get new knowledge from what we already learned. And so it is for the history. When we look back in the past, there is always a time and place for us to find something worth for today. While one more thing we must keep in mind is that today is not a simply replica of the past.

总体思路方向可以的，要注意的地方已经批注了。
如果批错了请见谅，毕竟不是native。
建议在首段把主题说明了，外国人很笨的，你这样绕会让人觉得罗嗦的。还有就是一定要尽量避免中文思维。有些句子和词组在用的时候注意搭配。

祝共同进步！

anniehalUID: 2716032

TOPIC: ISSUE130 - "How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."
WORDS: 294-585         TIME: 00:33:16          DATE: 2010-8-5 9:36:12

Children are the future and hope of one society, and it is true that the success of their socialization today somehow determines the destiny of the whole society. From my point of view, the present generation has already learned how to raise the children who can serve to bring a better society, concerning the main idea of education and the atmosphere of the contemporary society.

There is a saying in Chinese that children are the flowers of the nation, who will be the pillar of society's future development. If the present children are creative and hard-working, then the future of the society will be more likely to achieve great scientific improvement and economic development. Because creativity is the incentive of the breakthrough in scientific field and due to the hard-working characteristic, these children will endeavor to their career in the future, all of which are able to put the society forward. Therefore the success of present children plays an important role in the country's future.

In the meantime, how children socialized is the key point of their potential success. Socialization is the process influenced by two major parts that are the environment of society and education provided by parents and schools. Through the process individual develops from an independent person to a socialized person. Today, with the development of civilization and knowledge, although there are still some downsides required to be improved, the present adults have already done a good job in socializing children who are able to bring us a better society.

Concerning the environment of the society, it is true that there are still some criminal and immoral incidences, while the atmosphere of the society is optimistic and prosperous in the large scale. The character of hard-working and obtaining success on one’s own endeavor is spoken highly by the mainstream idea, which is considered as the indispensable and essential quality of a good individual. Besides, those illegal and aberrant phenomenons, such as gaining wealth by cheating or embezzlement, are despised and rejected by the mainstream value. And the healthy and positive value of the whole society provides a good environment for children to grow into helpful and valuable individuals for the future development of the society.

When it comes to education, we now not only put an emphasis on the acquisition of knowledge, but also the ability of critical thinking, independent learning and creativity, which all serve to develop children into an all-round qualified individuals. Many high schools now encourage students to participate in different kinds of clubs, such as the science club which guides students to explore the unknown world and apply what learnt in class into practice and the political policy club which helps students to develop a more insightful thinking about the phenomenon of the society. All these club activities enable children to get more involved with the realistic world, and cultivate their comprehensive abilities at the same time, all of which help children profoundly in their future development. Hence, the achievement of education nowadays largely helps children to become better qualified people who are able to push the improvement of the society.
To sum up, whether the socialization of children is successful or not plays an important role in the future development of the society. And the socialization result is determined by two major elements: the environment of the society and the education quality of schools. According to the present state of these two elements, it is quite sure that we have already learnt how to raise up children.
---------------
还有4天考试了。。竟然又没来的及。。我无语了。。hmmm....

ljz1990UID: 2837432

占楼上

TOPIC: ISSUE130 - "How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."
WORDS: 294-585         TIME: 00:33:16          DATE: 2010-8-5 9:36:12

Children are the future and hope of one society, and it is true that the success of their socialization today somehow determines the destiny of the whole society. From my point of view, the present generation has already learned how to raise the children who can serve to bring a better society, concerning the main idea of education and the atmosphere of the contemporary society.

There is a saying in Chinese that children are the flowers of the nation, who will be the pillar of society's future development. If the present children are creative and hard-working, then the future of the society will be more likely to achieve great scientific improvement and economic development. Because creativity is the incentive of the breakthrough in scientific field and due to the hard-working characteristic, these children will endeavor to their career in the future, all of which are able to put the society forward. Therefore the success of present children plays an important role in the country's future.

In the meantime, how children socialized is the key point of their potential success. Socialization is the process influenced by two major parts that are the environment of society and education provided by parents and schools.
（家庭教育哪去了？）Through the process individual develops from an independent person to a socialized person. Today, with the development of civilization and knowledge, although there are still some downsides required to be improved, the present adults have already done a good job in socializing children who are able to bring us a better society.

Concerning the environment of the society, it is true that there are still some criminal and immoral incidences, while the atmosphere of the society is optimistic and prosperous in the large scale. The character of hard-working and obtaining success on one’s own endeavor is spoken highly by the mainstream idea, which is considered as the indispensable and essential quality of a good individual. （主流思想是这样，教育出来的孩子也是这样么？可能还要加一句说明一下）Besides, those illegal and aberrant phenomenons, such as gaining wealth by cheating or embezzlement, are despised and rejected by the mainstream value. And the healthy and positive value of the whole society provides a good environment for children to grow into helpful and valuable individuals for the future development of the society.(从正反两面来说，挺好的，但觉得不够说服力啊，社会思潮是这样，孩子就一定会跟着走？而且作为社会对孩子的成长负有很大责任，勤奋和追求成功是一部分，不能违法又是一部分，但是除此之外还有很多方面啊比如说竞争，合作。而且就勤奋和追求成功，社会现在是怎么引导孩子的，通过那些方式来教育有哪些标准，你可以挑一个说细一点。)

When it comes to education, we now not only put an emphasis on the acquisition of knowledge, but also the ability of critical thinking, independent learning and creativity, which all serve to develop children into an all-round qualified individuals. Many high schools now encourage students to participate in different kinds of clubs, such as the science club which guides students to explore the unknown world and apply what learnt in class into practice and the political policy club which helps students to develop a more insightful thinking about the phenomenon of the society. All these club activities enable children to get more involved with the realistic world, and cultivate their comprehensive abilities at the same time, all of which help children profoundly in their future development. Hence, the achievement of education nowadays largely helps children to become better qualified people who are able to push the improvement of the society.（教育方面你在前面提到了家庭教育，而且这是很重要的一环，比如说培养孩子的个性，比如独立，能吃苦，不浪费（巴菲特），待人接物等等，但是在这段里面就只有学校教育了）
To sum up, whether the socialization of children is successful or not plays an important role in the future development of the society. And the socialization result is determined by two major elements: the environment of the society and the education quality of schools. According to the present state of these two elements, it is quite sure that we have already learnt how to raise up children.（额，仅仅是这两方面的原因么，家庭教育呢，但是直接说，因为我们这两方面已经做得很好了所以我们已经有能力把孩子培养好。是不是太绝对了?）

恩 整篇文章思路很清晰 语言也很流畅 虽然我看完觉得不能说服我（因为我本来就持和你相反的观点）但是单从你提到的这些来说的话 还是很清楚的 恩 4天以后加油啦。。。

ljz1990UID: 2837432

TOPIC: ISSUE48 - "The study of history places too much emphasis on individuals. The most significant events and trends in history were made possible not by the famous few, but by groups of people whose identities have long been forgotten."
WORDS: 702          TIME: 00:44:08          DATE: 2010-08-05 15:15:33

The workers building the Great wall in ancient China, the Europeans breaking loose from the rein of religion and starting to explore the human nature inward in the Renaissance, the black people struggling for racial justice through nonviolent way in the American civil rights movement......We don't know their names, but we will never forget them. The groups of people and the famous few, both play the leading role on the stage of history, working together to push the history rolling forward.

Admittedly, only the famous few are known to the public, while it is the intrinsic character of history rather than the historians to blame for it. Take our daily life for an example. Numerous things take place here and there every minute, it is neither possible nor necessary for us to remember them all. And so it is with history, we could only expect it to record the most widespread social phenomenon, the most intense contradiction, the most significant events, and, the most outstanding person. Let see the example of the Invasion of Normandy, the hitherto largest amphibious warfare, involving nearly 3000000 soldiers marching across the English Channel to the French province Normandy. How could we write down the 3000000 people all in history books? Even if so, the work to study them will certainly cost a great deal of effort. Consequently, we have no idea about their duties and their attitude towards the campaign, and we even don't know their names! Obviously, compared with the study of the famous few, the study of the groups of people appears much more difficult.

Nevertheless, the history never tends to forget the groups of people. Despite of the difficulties, there still exist many historians such as ones studied preindustrial Europe, tried to speak for them. In the early 1950s, the historians started focus on the more population rather than the famous few who till now filled the history books, even though few records could be provided. In fact, the groups of people, is recorded and studied as a whole, whose effort would never be ignored. If it is not the brave soldiers, the Invasion of Normand would have failed to be the turning point of the World War II. If it is not the skilled craftsmen of Tang Dynasty in ancient China, there would have not appeared the delicate tri-color glazed pottery and the silk clothes which are popular from that time till now. And if it is not the groups of people, the miracle Great Wall, the glorious Renaissance, the significant American civil rights movement, could only be our imagination.

Just as the groups of people, the famous few also play an important role. Recently, some historian argued against the great man theory. They insist that compare with the famous few, other factors such as economy and technology are just as or more essential in creating the history. While in the significant events and trends in history, just like the captain of a basketball team, the principal of a school and the leader of a nation, there should always be some crucial individuals representing the masses, influence and even guide the development of the events and trends. Still take the example of the Invasion of Normandy, if it is not the supreme commanders such as Dwight Eisenhower deciding the place to land, planning the attack routine and preparing the supplies, the campaign could definitely failed.

While things become ambiguous when we try to weigh between the groups of people and the famous few. Who contribute more in the Invasion of Normandy, the commanders of the soldiers? 1000 people may have 1000 views, just like the different opinions held towards the great man theory. Beside, history include various factors interwoven together, it is hard for us to rule out all the other elements and to focus on the only one aspects. Anyway, both the groups of people and the famous few are indispensable.

There is no substitute for the groups of people in history, whose name is fading in the time passing away, let alone the famous few and not one side is weight out of the other. It is rightly because both of them that there in history come out the Great Wall, the Renaissance and the American civil war.

anniehalUID: 2716032

zhan

anniehalUID: 2716032

TOPIC: ISSUE50 - "In order to improve the quality of instruction at the college and university level, all faculty should be required to spend time working outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses they teach."
WORDS: 630          TIME: 00:43:15          DATE: 2010-8-6 10:01:14

It is true that the working experience outside the academic world is able to improve the quality of some practical subjects, which require this kind of experience. However, when it comes to other subjects mostly based on theories, the working experience would be no use.

Admittedly, the working experience helps the professor to grasp the latest trend of the academic field, which is quite useful for professors who teach those subjects that change quickly, such as computer engineering and fashion design. Take fashion design as an example. The mainstream style of it changes every season. If the professor merely focus on his/her own small academic world, and do not update the information according to the latest trend, what taught in class would be entirely out of date, and disable to meet the demand of the market. In that case, it would be fairly difficult for students to find jobs after graduation due to all the clothes they design would be old fashioned.

Moreover, working in the real world serves professors to apply the tedious theories into the reality, which helps them have a full understanding of the theories and better teach them in later classes. This kind of experience is quite helpful to professor who teaches those subjects that put a great emphasis on pragmatic use, such as marketing, teaching and social work. Without the firsthand experience, the knowledge taught by the professor would be merely based on theories. No matter how carefully described the theories are, the professor would have no true feelings to share and also have no idea about the possible situations that did not written in books. Therefore it would be difficult for students to entirely grasp the knowledge, and use them properly in the future work.

Besides, considering other subjects, such as social policy and social statistics, which require the professors to have a deeper analysis about the today’s phenomenon of the society, working outside the academic world is also a must. Otherwise it is impossible to obtain the authentic data, and the result of the study would be somehow fake. Then how can professors teach students about the latest situation of the society, if he/she does not have the firsthand information? When it comes to study a typical phenomenon, for instance, the living condition of the elders in cities, professors are not only required to read the related academic materials and design the survey, but also needed to work outside the academic world, conduct the survey and dig out the real data. Then what taught in class is able to be convincing and real. Meanwhile it would be unrealistic to finish all the tasks indoors.

However, this principle will not be the same when regarding to those entirely theoretical subjects, such as philosophy and literature. In order to improve the quality of teaching, what professors need is fully understand the teaching materials, carefully analysis them, and try to find some unique understanding to provide a different view for the students. All of these are reached by professors' critical thinking and deep understanding, which are not relevant to the working experience. And it would be entirely a kind of wasting time and energy to ask professors teaching these subjects to work outside the academic world.

From the discussion above, we can easily come to the conclusion that in order to improve the teaching quality, whether it is needed for professors to work outside the academic world should be determined case by case. When it comes to those subjects that the ideas of them change fast, focus on the practical use, or the outside work is needed to fulfill the study, it would be proper for professors to obtain the firsthand working experience. (这句的语法肯定不对，麻烦帮忙改下吧。。)However, referring to those entirely academic subjects, the real work would be somehow meaningless.

tracyrongyiUID: 2842378

TOPIC: ISSUE37 - "In most societies, competition generally has more of a negative than a positive effect."
WORDS: 388
TIME: 01:50:40
DATE: 2010/8/2 0:07:32
首先是字数问题，你应该也注意到了。这是不够的，不过第一次。。。
It has been long known that in this era of information and technology,the majority of people are gradually become forced to encounter various opportunities as well as challenges which made it more often for peoples,companyies,enterprises and also factories to face competitions with each other.不是不赞同写长句。是不赞同写chenglish的长句。由that which堆起来的长句看着很不爽 we need a concise, simple and coherent essay.Therefore it comes no surprise to discover the reality that controversaries arouse ofarouse是及物动词吧 这句同样是长句问题。 two contradicting opinions held by those who consider competitions as opportunities and those who stands on the opposite side.
There exists,as no one may doubt,that countless entities everyday fighting for ,even a little bit,more chance to enlarge their conpetence in order to obtain a brighter future. Adolf Hitler once said(as I paraphased):A solider who is not looking forward to be a sergeant is never to be a good one.Every single person on earth have the eagerness to strive for a better position in the enviroment he or she lives.Thus competition tend to be unavoidable and necessary for the whole social enviroment.It may easily drw draw sb a conclusion ms 没这用法 teach us a lessonus a conclusion from some highly competitive nationalized and prosperious cities as Tokyo in Japan,New York City in USA and Shanghai in China that consumers are enjoying an increasing number of commodities,luxuries,digital products as well as various kinds of services the city provides at high qualities and unbelievable relatively low prices.这个长句还看得过去Meanwhile,competitions among companies are the most effective ways to prevent monopolies to be formed and what's more worth to consider is that as long as several enterprises compete against each other,they tend to need more staffs to enlarge the power of their own. is that true? I think they are in an urgant need of talents instead of laborsThat's to say,on the other hand,competition lowers the unemployment rate which consequently leads to an increase in consumer price index that reflects the average standard of living.
Admittedly,dispite这两个都表示让步吧 the fact that competition itself contributes a lot in stablizing the whole society.It still brings about one or more problems that remain unsolved.Thins begin to come out of the water when wo focuse on the other aspect that some side effects of competition that can hardly be neglected.Dishonesty and shrinking profit may be the two major and foremost issue to wait for our viable solutions.
To cut a long story short,as optimism to vast majority of people,what invariably happens is competition do from time to time act as a positive signal to most of the contemporary societies so long as we tackle with the two opposite sides properly.
我这能说很一般 没有新鲜的例子 没有出彩的逻辑
而且句式也很有问题
不过
这些问题大家都有 我也有 而且说不定比你更严重
所以大家要一起努力
194# hi_logi

tracyrongyiUID: 2842378

zhan 222# anniehal
45分钟能写这么多 pfpf
总体来说，文章结构很明确，正面给出了三点，反面给出了一点。讲的也比较深刻 fashion desigh的例子感觉用的很贴切。感觉正面分析的很到位，也比较全面。
但是没有个性化的观点 总体感觉比较平淡 firsthand 好像用了3次
It is true that the working experience outside the academic world is able to improve the quality of some practical subjects, which require this kind of experience. However, when it comes to other subjects mostly based on theories, the working experience would be no use.

Admittedly, the working experience helps the professor to grasp the latest trend of the academic field, which is quite useful for professors who teach those subjects that change quickly, such as computer engineering and fashion design. Take fashion design as an example. The mainstream style of it changes every season. If the professor merely focus on his/her own small academic world, and do not update the information according to the latest trend, what taught in class would be entirely out of date, and disable to meet the demand of the market. In that case, it would be fairly difficult for students to find jobs after graduation due to all the clothes they design would be old fashioned.

Moreover, working in the real world serves professors to apply the tedious theories into the reality, which helps them have a full understanding of the theories and better teach them in later classes. This kind of experience is quite helpful to professor who teaches those subjects that put a great emphasis on pragmatic use, such as marketing, teaching and social work. Without the firsthand experience, the knowledge taught by the professor would be merely based on theories. No matter how carefully described the theories are, the professor would have no true feelings to share and also have no idea about the possible situations that did not written in books. Therefore it would be difficult for students to entirely grasp the knowledge, and use them properly in the future work.

Besides, considering other subjects, such as social policy and social statistics, which require the professors to have a deeper analysis about the today’s phenomenon of the society, working outside the academic world is also a must. Otherwise it is impossible to obtain the authentic data, and the result of the study would be somehow fake. Then how can professors teach students about the latest situation of the society, if he/she does not have the firsthand information? When it comes to study a typical phenomenon, for instance, the living condition of the elders in cities, professors are not only required to read the related academic materials and design the survey, but also needed to work outside the academic world, conduct the survey and dig out the real data. Then what taught in class is able to be convincing and real. Meanwhile it would be unrealistic to finish all the tasks indoors.

However, this principle will not be the same when regarding to those entirely theoretical subjects, such as philosophy and literature. In order to improve the quality of teaching, what professors need is fully understand the teaching materials, carefully analysis them, and try to find some unique understanding to provide a different view for the students. All of these are reached by professors' critical thinking and deep understanding, which are not relevant to the working experience. And it would be entirely a kind of wasting time and energy to ask professors teaching these subjects to work outside the academic world.

From the discussion above, we can easily come to the conclusion that in order to improve the teaching quality, whether it is needed for professors to work outside the academic world should be determined case by case. When it comes to those subjects  whose ideas change fast, focusing on practical use, and needing outside studies, it would be proper for professors to obtain the firsthand working experience. (这句的语法肯定不对，麻烦帮忙改下吧。。)However, referring to those entirely academic subjects, the real work would be somehow


有空pp我的  有两篇 可以任选
有一篇是和你一样的题目
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1135420-1-1.html
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=1135430&extra=

anniehalUID: 2716032

224# tracyrongyi
恩。。没有其他的建议么。。
我也觉得没什么创意。。这个创意不出来呀。。
介意给我看下你的这篇的思路么？
ps..你可以把你的贴在后面亚。。